So I just got dumped...

[L3D_ZEPP3LIN]

Hey guys, I'm not really the type to post very much, but the woman who held me together and kept me going just dumped me. I am at a loss right now and I just don't know how to continue to go on with my life right now. I really need some advice and guidance right now...

 

[spax]

Bro, I got dumped by my GF of 7 years about 40 days ago.

I thought it was the end of the world at the time…but realise that it is all just chemicals in your brain that are making you feel like this and you are going through withdrawals like a junkie.

Whatever you do…..go No Contact. Don't message her, call her, or beg for her back. If you do…you will just push her away further.

Print off a calendar for the month and mark off each day you do not talk to her with a red X. Eventually you will stop counting and its then that you will realise you are over her.

Keep your head up and move forward.

 

[skinnyguy]

Why did she keep you together? Don't you have your own life?

 

[jurry]

If you needed someone or something to "hold you up and keep you going" then you were not facing reality to begin with.

This is a wake up call, be glad for the pain. You've been living in fantasyland. Now you can find true "happiness".

 

[expos]

Post some details, the how and why's, and we will see what we can do?

Agreed. There are a few ways you could possibly turn this around. But you should start by doing a complete 180 and focusing on yourself what you want out of life and moving forward. With a 180 you...

One...you grow as a person, you begin loving yourself again, you have some freedom to discover new women, and focusing on things you've done wrong and work to improve them.

Two...she might see the changes in you or see your lack of indifference and come back. A lot of girls are used to guys begging and pleading for another chance. Don't be pathetic and sell yourself out to her!

Bottom line, great things will happen when you go no contact.

 

[L3D_ZEPP3LIN]

Post some details, the how and why's, and we will see what we can do?

Well, we've been together for about a year and things were great for a while, but then she started acting cold and she lost interest. I tried all of the usual things. I tried to give her space, although I wasn't really clingy. Anyways, that didn't really work. I could go days on end without talking to her and it's like she didn't care. So for a while, we were in this awkward state and I didn't know how to get past it. I thought that maybe I should try to give her more attention and that didn't work either. Finally, tonight, we started talking and she finally said that she had "let me go emotionally". I just don't get it. She used to treat me so well, better than any of my past girlfriends, but then everything just faded away. And skinnyguy, sadly I do not have much of a life.

 

[mikey2012]

Well, we've been together for about a year and things were great for a while, but then she started acting cold and she lost interest. I tried all of the usual things. I tried to give her space, although I wasn't really clingy. Anyways, that didn't really work. I could go days on end without talking to her and it's like she didn't care. So for a while, we were in this awkward state and I didn't know how to get past it. I thought that maybe I should try to give her more attention and that didn't work either. Finally, tonight, we started talking and she finally said that she had "let me go emotionally". I just don't get it. She used to treat me so well, better than any of my past girlfriends, but then everything just faded away. And skinnyguy, sadly I do not have much of a life.

Ignore the fvcking cvnt. She just a cvnt. Move ahead with your life. Wish her the best but hope for the worst. She probably get married then when she has a kid it will be stillborn or mongoloid. Then she get divorced and die of ovarian cancer. She will have bad life of torture and misery ...

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Well, we've been together for about a year and things were great for a while, but then she started acting cold and she lost interest. I tried all of the usual things. I tried to give her space, although I wasn't really clingy. Anyways, that didn't really work. I could go days on end without talking to her and it's like she didn't care. So for a while, we were in this awkward state and I didn't know how to get past it. I thought that maybe I should try to give her more attention and that didn't work either. Finally, tonight, we started talking and she finally said that she had "let me go emotionally". I just don't get it. She used to treat me so well, better than any of my past girlfriends, but then everything just faded away. And skinnyguy, sadly I do not have much of a life.

How old are you? Would you consider her to have been your first 'real' girlfriend? I ask because the first time can be utterly perplexing and grueling in the case that you've never been down this road before. You've probably heard (or will very soon hear) about how we don't need women in our lives - and we don't - but if you know how to handle them, they're excellent to have nearby for the sake of keeping you on your toes - that is, seeing to it that you always keep the wheels of self-improvement running.

 

[L3D_ZEPP3LIN]

How old are you? Would you consider her to have been your first 'real' girlfriend? I ask because the first time can be utterly perplexing and grueling in the case that you've never been down this road before. You've probably heard (or will very soon hear) about how we don't need women in our lives - and we don't - but if you know how to handle them, they're excellent to have nearby for the sake of keeping you on your toes - that is, seeing to it that you always keep the wheels of self-improvement running.

I'm 17, my last semester in HS starts next week (that alone probably says everything), and while I've had a few girlfriends before, I would consider her my first real girlfriend. I've been dumped and I've dumped before and it never phased me much. The only problem this time is that I caught feelings for her and since she was treating me so good at the time, I guess I just invested everything I had emotionally in her.

 

[mikey2012]

I'm 17, my last semester in HS starts next week (that alone probably says everything), and while I've had a few girlfriends before, I would consider her my first real girlfriend. I've been dumped and I've dumped before and it never phased me much. The only problem this time is that I caught feelings for her and since she was treating me so good at the time, I guess I just invested everything I had emotionally in her.

Wtf 17?!! You think you going get married to her ? Go out there and fvck other women. You have your whole life ahead of you. Jesus. Learn from this. Read the book of pook. You're a free man.. Don't ever be emotionally invested again. In a few years you will look back and see this as turning point into Don Juandom...

 

[L3D_ZEPP3LIN]

Wtf 17?!! You think you going get married to her ? Go out there and fvck other women. You have your whole life ahead of you. Jesus. Learn from this. Read the book of pook. You're a free man.. Don't ever be emotionally invested again.

Women get bored easily and want to go grab the next shiny thing that catches their eye. They are far more susceptible to the "grass is greener over there" syndrome.

To be honest, I don't think she was ever really THAT into you. I don't see that you did anything wrong, so shrug, and move on. This has happened to EVERYONE on this board. Somethings are beyond your control, bud.

I definitely intend to learn from this, and I honestly think and hope that this is my breaking point from being that weak afc beta guy I've been. I'm actually agitated and still sad right now. I'm mad because I was such a chump and I let the b!tch walk all over me and hold so much power over me. I became a lazy, uninteresting, even more beta chump during all of this and I'm just so mad about that. Why did I ever EVER let her do this? I honestly think I was afraid of being alone which makes me even madder because I don't know why.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

I definitely intend to learn from this, and I honestly think and hope that this is my breaking point from being that weak afc beta guy I've been. I'm actually agitated and still sad right now. I'm mad because I was such a chump and I let the b!tch walk all over me and hold so much power over me. I became a lazy, uninteresting, even more beta chump during all of this and I'm just so mad about that. Why did I ever EVER let her do this? I honestly think I was afraid of being alone which makes me even madder because I don't know why.

You'll gradually bleed out all of that emotional resin - don't worry about that. Concentrate on the bigger picture - YOU. Not her, not your past with her, not what she might be thinking right now - no...YOU.

Anything that keeps you active - reading, school work, work, working out, hanging out with friends, whatever hobbies you may have (if you don't have any or want to add on a new one, now is the time) - is good.

Anything that keeps you staring in the rearview mirror - dwelling, looking at pics of her/old text messages/emails/facebook postings, spending lots of time alone doing nothing - is not good.


A bit reductive, but they don't call them "two cents" for nothing. It's been almost four months since I split ways with my ex and I think I'd need a defibrillator at this point to revive my emotions for her. Don't be too hard on yourself. In a sense, you've already 'graduated'.

 

[ZTIME]

Ooh little brother.

You now get to learn a valuable lesson that will follow you for the rest of your life.

You may not see it today, but you will see that all of this negativity won't last. This is a blessing that will help you see the light.

Read and reread every post to your thread. These guys will help, I promise. You just gotta believe.good luck friend.

 

[L3D_ZEPP3LIN]

Ooh little brother.

You now get to learn a valuable lesson that will follow you for the rest of your life.

You may not see it today, but you will see that all of this negativity won't last. This is a blessing that will help you see the light.

Read and reread every post to your thread. These guys will help, I promise. You just gotta believe.good luck friend.

You'll gradually bleed out all of that emotional resin - don't worry about that. Concentrate on the bigger picture - YOU. Not her, not your past with her, not what she might be thinking right now - no...YOU.

Anything that keeps you active - reading, school work, work, working out, hanging out with friends, whatever hobbies you may have (if you don't have any or want to add on a new one, now is the time) - is good.

Anything that keeps you staring in the rearview mirror - dwelling, looking at pics of her/old text messages/emails/facebook postings, spending lots of time alone doing nothing - is not good.


A bit reductive, but they don't call them "two cents" for nothing. It's been almost four months since I split ways with my ex and I think I'd need a defibrillator at this point to revive my emotions for her. Don't be too hard on yourself. In a sense, you've already 'graduated'.

You guys are right. I have a whole lot to think about right now and I have even more things I can improve on. By God, I'm gonna get a good haircut, I'm gonna get rid of those bags from under my eyes, I'm gonna start wearing nicer clothes, but not for any girl, but because it's gonna make me feel more confident, I'm gonna get back in touch with all of my bros, I'm gonna get back to fixing up my car, I'm gonna be unstoppable. This is gonna take time and it's gonna be hard for me, especially in the coming days, but I'm gonna come out stronger than ever and I'm gonna be the guy everyone wants to be like. Funny thing is, now I really don't want anything to do with another female for a while. I've been poisoned enough.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

I'm on no contact too with my ex.

 

[sylvester the cat]

I wish i found this site when I was 17. You're lucky op. If you stick around you'll find gold here.

 

[hop On hop Off]

I definitely intend to learn from this, and I honestly think and hope that this is my breaking point from being that weak afc beta guy I've been. I'm actually agitated and still sad right now. I'm mad because I was such a chump and I let the b!tch walk all over me and hold so much power over me. I became a lazy, uninteresting, even more beta chump during all of this and I'm just so mad about that. Why did I ever EVER let her do this? I honestly think I was afraid of being alone which makes me even madder because I don't know why.

Please don't say that about yourself.

You need to find out why. Maybe she found another guy? Maybe her parents told her to move on?

You gave a summary of what happened in a year. That's impossible to say what went wrong. How do you define going well? It is your perspective.

Don't just assume it's your fault. You should figure out why. You should learn from it. Do not ask her. Ask people who are willing to help you, and then accurately assess the situation to decide what you should do.

 

[L3D_ZEPP3LIN]

Well, it still hurts and I assume it will hurt for quite some time. But it is what it is, I suppose. There's no reason to dwell on everything even though that's all I really want to do. I think I need to make a journal of my progress and whatnot on here.