Situation: Several girls I want to ask out and being chased by BIG girls

[Dadude548]

LOL I'm in an odd situation in my salsa dance class in college.

First of all I pretty much suck with girls so I want to state that first.

There are three girls in that class that I'm interested in. Possibly more, but three I want to focus on. I talk with them semi-regularly and I've walked out of class talking with two of them if that means everything, which I'm sure it doesn't.

Anyways I just don't know what to do. If I should be asking them out, or trying to get their phone numbers or whatever. As I said, I suck with girls. I'm also afraid that if I ask out one girl she might talk to other girls and then there would be gossip going on around me.

Also in that class are two bigger girls that I know from last semester. I got stuck talking to them before class today for like 10 minutes and I wasn't able to talk to the girls I wanted to. There is another big girl who is their friend. It seems like the big girls only talk to other big girls and I absolutely do not want to get stuck talking to them. I also think that one of them likes me, I'm staying polite and all, but I don't want to give her any hint of an idea that I'm interested. I don't want to talk to them anymore but ignoring them seems rude. They also come find me if I'm alone.

Lastly there is a girl in my math class, which I'm in the process of dropping. We're in a lab together and it only meets once a week.

What makes things a little odd is that in the class we sit at big tables facing the front. I've been sitting at the same spot for a while so I know the two girls who sit to the left of me and usually the girl I'm interested sits to my left or we swap places like we did today. Anyways she's in another class with both of them right after the math so they walk together. She also seems to be kinda friends with them too.

I want to ask her out, but those girls are always with her and I think that would make things awkward. I'm not sure what to do.

Class ended early today so I was talking to her for about 30 minutes which was great, but we were still sitting in our seats. Also as I said before I'm going to drop the class so next week will be the last time I see her, so I have to do something. Should I just get her number after class even if her friend is sitting next to her? Or should I try to get her come out side with me?

At this point, I'm only going to that class because I'm interested in her.

 

[Plutoman]

Just say "Hey, are you free this thursday? I'd like to grab a drink with you."

If you need to stop her, just tell her, hey, I've got a question for you.. if you really haven't spoken to her much, then qualify; "You seemed like you may be an interesting person, I'd like to grab a drink with you and see if that's true. Are you free this thursday?" (if you can, make definite plans on the spot - else, get her number, tell her to give it to you, so you can finalize plans at a later point - if she says she's busy, and doesn't offer up anything else, then just try someone else).

Substitute whichever day you please. Worst thing you can do is overthink it. Been there, done that. Don't do it. Just make a move.

Alternatively, replace grab a drink with let's hang out, let's grab coffee, etc etc. So many options depending on context.

 

[Dadude548]

Thanks for the reply.

So you're suggesting to make plans first before I try to get a number?

Really, I'm just worried about the aftermath. Like I don't want girls gossiping about me if they would or trying to ask out somebody in front of her friends.

 

[Von Huge]

Thanks for the reply.

So you're suggesting to make plans first before I try to get a number?

Really, I'm just worried about the aftermath. Like I don't want girls gossiping about me if they would or trying to ask out somebody in front of her friends.

You worry too much about what girls think. There's nothing wrong with asking for a number, I guarantee the other girls won't give a damn or they'll actually appreciate the fact you had the balls to do that. You're only gonna run into problems if you're sleeping with them all at once or do something horrible to one of them, but unless that's the case go for gold

 

[Dadude548]

You worry too much about what girls think. There's nothing wrong with asking for a number, I guarantee the other girls won't give a damn or they'll actually appreciate the fact you had the balls to do that. You're only gonna run into problems if you're sleeping with them all at once or do something horrible to one of them, but unless that's the case go for gold

LOL sleeping with all of them. I'm not quite there yet.

So there's not an issue with asking out a girl in front of her friends?

OK, so I'll do that next week.

And yeah, I worry way too much.

 

[Dali_tx_o]

The issue of asking a girl out in front of everyone is that there is always peer pressure. Just as you are thinking now "What if girls start talking about me for asking her out?", the girl might think "what if girls start talking about Dadude548 asking me out?".

A girl may want to give you her number or go out with you, but if three of her friends are laughing or making fun out of it just right there, she will cave in and say "no".

Ideally, you'd want to ask a girl out when she is isolated from other people, so there is no negative external stimuli that might make her say no.

Why cut down your chances?

Plus, like other people said, keep it casual. Don't say "would you like to go on a date with me?", say "Let's hang out" or "I'm going to get some ice-cream after school, wanna come with?", or whatever will seem natural.

Create plans what you would do on your own, and then invite girl to come along (WoW or masturbation do not count). Your mindset should be that you don't care if she comes or not, you're going for some damn ice-cream anyway. If she says no, well, you can ask her again sometime later, since all it is is some ice-cream you get all the time, not a date (replace ice-cream with something adequate for your situation)

 

[Plutoman]

The other consideration is... if you've impressed/won over her friends, it can help your case.

So it's always contextual.

Main thing is; don't worry too much, don't hesitate, just go for it. Yeah, I'd recommend asking for plans over a number, first - then when she gives you the number, she's giving it to you for a reason. There's less warnings going off in her head - at first she may be thinking, I don't know this guy, what if he constantly calls/texts, if he's clingy, etc, but she's giving you the number so you can set up the pre-existing plans.

Now, getting a number to make plans isn't a bad thing, I just believe the above has a bit higher success rate - and there's no beating around the bush, if she doesn't make plans, you don't bother with the number, and you don't waste time!