Single mothers

[Dummy]

This looks like a load of bs written by a single mother woman: http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_60/73_dating_tips.html

 

[jonwon]

This looks like a load of bs written by a single mother woman: http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_60/73_dating_tips.html

Poor show from that site, I agree.

"You think you have it tough, try being a single mum"

Stopped reading right there.

 

[squirrels]

The title of the article is, "Dating a Single Mother".

I could write this article in 3 words..."Don't do it".

Here's the way I look at it...any woman who is dumb enough to do something as reckless as having a kid with a man that she has not sufficiently vetted for a long-term relationship, or who is irresponsible enough to have unprotected sex with a man she is not trying to conceive with, is not the kind of person I want to associate with.

Yes, one in ten of them is the exception to this attitude, but let's not forget, even if the circumstances surrounding her child were out of her control (rape, unexpected changes in one partner or the other leading to divorce, etc), there is still the matter of you eventually having to maintain someone else's progeny. I am happy leaving that to someone else.

Now DATING a single mother, as in 2 or 3 dates and maybe an on-again off-again F-buddy relationship, there's nothing wrong with that.

But the way to tell if you're getting too involved with a single mom is this: if you or the child are aware of each other's existence, you're beyond a "dating" relationship.

Eventually any single mom will want you to start doing stuff with her and her child...you may even get the, "We're a package-deal" speech. At this point, you're beyond "dating" and you'd better decide if you're willing to raise someone else's child. Some people not only have the ability to do that, but actively seek it out. Not me.

A woman having a kid is NEVER a "non-issue". Let me repeat that in BOLD for all of the AFCs on the forum:

A woman having a child from a previous relationship is NEVER a "non-issue".

All that being said, from skimming the article, it's fair, if nothing else. It points out all the disadvantages to dating a single mother. (although it downplays the importance of those disadvantages)

It also lists ONE advantage...namely, that a single mother is so busy with her child and tired of the games that men play that she will be honest with you and not play games.

In other words, if you're horrible with women and keep getting blown out by the games they play, date a single mother who has her plate too full to properly qualify you. One who is ready to settle for whatever comes through the door with a d!ck and a paycheck.

Very good strategy for those who are content to suck with women. (and at life in general!!) Hopefully no one from this site, but I know that's wishful thinking. :nervous:

This article is written for chumps, telling them how to be better chumps.

Don't believe me? This nugget of misinformation says it all:

The twist is that, everything being equal, women have the power to decide whether the dating light is green or red. Male power is an illusion because it is granted to us by the female. If we push the magic buttons, the door opens. Check your masculine pride at the door and acknowledge that truth.

:kick:

That paragraph alone disqualifies this author from giving ANY advice to men on how to be men.

I love media articles that explain how to survive in a busted society full of busted people, instead of how to FIX the things that are busted in the first place.

 

[AMDG]

Are you man enough to accept the challenge?

I love that part from the article. A hot virgin may be a interesting challenge - raising a cuckoo is not a smart one. I don't need to jump off a cliff to prove my manhood :yes:

 

[Robert28]

you are a far more experienced poster then i am, but i respectfully dissagree with some of your assesment about single mothers. i've commented in bold:

The title of the article is, "Dating a Single Mother".

I could write this article in 3 words..."Don't do it".

Here's the way I look at it...any woman who is dumb enough to do something as reckless as having a kid with a man that she has not sufficiently vetted for a long-term relationship, or who is irresponsible enough to have unprotected sex with a man she is not trying to conceive with, is not the kind of person I want to associate with.

Yes, one in ten of them is the exception to this attitude, but let's not forget, even if the circumstances surrounding her child were out of her control (rape, unexpected changes in one partner or the other leading to divorce, etc), there is still the matter of you eventually having to maintain someone else's progeny. I am happy leaving that to someone else.

Now DATING a single mother, as in 2 or 3 dates and maybe an on-again off-again F-buddy relationship, there's nothing wrong with that.

in my past experience these are that HARDEST girls on the planet to have a fb relationship with. i will go as far as to say it's one step above impossible. for me anyways it has been. reason being? most single moms hate all men, have their b!tch shield up to the max, and any sexual talk, or inuendo and they automatically qualify you as a jerk or just wanting to get some. hell, most of them talk about their kid within the first few mins of meeting you, that's all the want to talk about. that our how the guy who got them pregnant is a dead beat and act like it's your problem.

But the way to tell if you're getting too involved with a single mom is this: if you or the child are aware of each other's existence, you're beyond a "dating" relationship.

Eventually any single mom will want you to start doing stuff with her and her child...you may even get the, "We're a package-deal" speech. At this point, you're beyond "dating" and you'd better decide if you're willing to raise someone else's child. Some people not only have the ability to do that, but actively seek it out. Not me.

A woman having a kid is NEVER a "non-issue". Let me repeat that in BOLD for all of the AFCs on the forum:

A woman having a child from a previous relationship is NEVER a "non-issue".

All that being said, from skimming the article, it's fair, if nothing else. It points out all the disadvantages to dating a single mother. (although it downplays the importance of those disadvantages)

It also lists ONE advantage...namely, that a single mother is so busy with her child and tired of the games that men play that she will be honest with you and not play games.

not true, not true, NOT TRUE. if anything, single mothers have played MORE games with me then single women with no kids do. in fact, the last 3 single moms i've tried to date have all played mind games with me. honesty be dammed as far as they go.

In other words, if you're horrible with women and keep getting blown out by the games they play, date a single mother who has her plate too full to properly qualify you. One who is ready to settle for whatever comes through the door with a d!ck and a paycheck.

again, not true from my experience. i have a MUCH higher success rate with women who dont have children then i do with women that do have them

Very good strategy for those who are content to suck with women. (and at life in general!!) Hopefully no one from this site, but I know that's wishful thinking. :nervous:

This article is written for chumps, telling them how to be better chumps.

Don't believe me? This nugget of misinformation says it all:



:kick:

That paragraph alone disqualifies this author from giving ANY advice to men on how to be men.

I love media articles that explain how to survive in a busted society full of busted people, instead of how to FIX the things that are busted in the first place.

 

[Jitterbug]

I have the same experience as Roberts28. Single mums play much tighter game than chicks with no kids. Which is all more ironic because they're worth less.

 

[Mr.Positive]

The problem I have with articles like this, is the angle to which it is written.

Most guys know, that dating a single mom involves a whole plethera of new issues...less freedom, less spontanaity, the list goes on.

This article is not trying to make single moms more appealing, it's about getting men to bow down before them.

Single moms should be urged to make themselves more appealing to men, not try to say things like "a single mom expects things from you and is unfront".

How many times have men heard "my child is #1 to me..."

Well, that's great, except that means the man, is #2.

I'll never let a women expect things of me like that, like my purpose in life is to bend everything that's important to me to fit her needs and her childs.

These articles, man, they really create even more of a riff between men and women.

Thankfully, a lot of us see right through it.

 

[nismo-4]

This article looks like it's written by a woman.

 

[AMDG]

These articles, man, they really create even more of a riff between men and women.

Taking into accout the quality of the girls involved - surely it's a good thing

 

[Drewskie]

Maybe it's a cultural thing, not sure where you're from Robert28 and Jitterbug, but my experience has been identical to what Squirrels posted. Regardless. unless it's ONS, i'd avoid single moms.

 

[Ballie]

Avoid single mom's?

Unfortunately, at my age if a woman hasn't had children by her 40's or so, then there is most probably something wrong with her. To me a major red flag is if she never has been married and de facto they are a bunch of little basterds from multiple fathers.

For me to pull a young single girl in her 20's or 30's, for more than a ONS, is wishful thinking as the competition is fierce from the younger batchelors. Maybe if I was a millionare then things would be different

I do draw the line of dating single mom's with young kids - as I have experienced hastles there. If they are in their teens then they will accept you and then there will be no problem.

One major advantage is that a single mom will not expect you to move in with her. If she wants to move in with you, with her kids, then run.

 

[squirrels]

Unfortunately, at my age if a woman hasn't had children by her 40's or so, then there is most probably something wrong with her.

And there's nothing wrong with a woman who DOES have a kid without first providing a stable home to raise it in??

A child is not a f**king commodity like a new pair of shoes or a dinette set. It's ANOTHER LIFE. Women who have children recklessly, either through failure to use contraception or by rushing into hasty relationships that later result in break-up, are making mistakes that affect the development of the child! That indicates selfishness, negligence, and generally irresponsible behavior.

Same thing goes for men.

Babies having babies.

 

[Robert28]

And there's nothing wrong with a woman who DOES have a kid without first providing a stable home to raise it in??

A child is not a f**king commodity like a new pair of shoes or a dinette set. It's ANOTHER LIFE. Women who have children recklessly, either through failure to use contraception or by rushing into hasty relationships that later result in break-up, are making mistakes that affect the development of the child! That indicates selfishness, negligence, and generally irresponsible behavior.

Same thing goes for men.

Babies having babies.

exactly! i was eating lunch the other day and was sitting accross from a group of single mothers. these girls are the typical ones being discussed in this thread. they were all around 17-18 at best, somewhat attractive but nothing to fall over yourself about. one even had TWO kids who looked absolutley nothing alike! hello town slut? anyways, i couldnt help but overhear their conversations because they were being extremely loud! they were cussing in front of these kids, talking about how if some girl looked at them again they were going to whoops her @$$, yada yada yada. i felt so sorry for those kids. i wondered about if the boyfriend was still around, or if he was how big of a loser he must be. they couldnt even hold the babies the right way! im not baby expert but i do know a babies head isnt supposed to be tilted ALL the way back when feeding it. i also wondered how much of my hard earned money was paying for each one of those b@stard children. they probably used my money to pay for their lunch.

 

[5string]

I married a divorced mom with two kids. Paid for it emotionally and financially bigtime. Divorced her after 25 yrs of being stupid. I should have known better. I raised em, went to school plays and conferences. Put em through college, etc. Let that be a lesson to you younger guys. DON"T GET INVOLVED WITH SINGLE MOMS! You'll regret it. I do to this very day.........

 

[sodbuster]

yes, when the child screws up your life,you can't discipline it. "he's not your child you have no right to do that". If a kid messes up my life, I should have the right to discipline him. PAY for him,yes. CONTROL him,no

 

[Rescue Mission]

From my own personal experience, I did go for single mothers at some points.......most of them I flaked on, but I do remember one that I drove 45 minutes to see.......she was 35 at the time, i was 21, and she had a 14 year old daughter.

I came over, we drank some alcohol, watched some TV....the 14 year old daughter was in her room (scarred im sure, just as she has been the past 14 years without a father), and I ended up fvcking the single mom 4 times that night, and drove home in the morning.......i tried to see her again, she kept flaking, and that was it.

So basically, this proves 3 things in my mind -

1) My movie/alcohol/her place or your place "date" idea is golden.
2) Single moms like one night stands more than anything else, with younger guys that is.
3) It may be better to hook up with a single mom who's child has already grown up a little bit, as opposed to one who's kid is still an infant or toddler.........and if the child is old enough, you never know, maybe you can get a threesome out of it!

 

[jophil28]

Simple evolutionary instructions for women -
Part A..Harvest genes from the pool.
Part B.. Recruit a guy to provide for her and the child.

Single mothers have completed part A.
Hands up who wants to volunteer to be the guy in Part B.

 

[DMSR76]

3) It may be better to hook up with a single mom who's child has already grown up a little bit, as opposed to one who's kid is still an infant or toddler.........and if the child is old enough, you never know, maybe you can get a threesome out of it!

LMAO!!!!!

 

[Ballie]

As I said before - which I did not explain properly

Unfortunately, at my age if a woman hasn't had children by her 40's or so, then there is most probably something wrong with her

I am in my 50's, have experienced a failed marriage and am now in a relationship. Prior to that I experienced the single scene for a couple of years.

Met quite a few women in the process and I only know one woman who hadn't have any children. She's an attractive woman - but extremely self centered.

Single women around my age are either divorced or widowed and have had children. If I was in my 30's I would agree and only date unmarried girls without kids, but unless I want to be celibate I have no choice.

They have baggage but once the kids are grown up they are free and willing to have fun again - they are still young, maybe a bit silly marring in their teens, but otherwise there is nothing wrong with them.

wi