Simple? Why did your marrage fail?

[torqueboxer]

Right now my friend is going through some serious issues with his wife. I was helping him move his stuff out of their house(its in her name) they have been there fror one year. She was in nursing school when they got married. Now she is working in the field and it seems like the gold diggers she works with( they only talk about $$$) have ruined her. LOL.

He has his own business and makes decent money, since he just started out his business is still growing and she makes more money than he does. For the bills any time she asks for $$ he gives it to her on the spot. She talks about all types of "life plans" hard to describe. Basically that new type of thinking that all of the books and magizenes promote. She says all of the money they make needs to go into savings. She told him that part of her plan is to have $20,000 in the bank and "wants the finer things in life", "she deserves them". She has been through two brand new cars in the past 4 years(60,000). But then she tells him" he only cares about him self. he drives a 9 year old truck that he bought as a wreck repair(maybe 4000 total).

My friend is probably the most selfless person I know, he would give the shirt off of his back to someone who needed it. LOL
I am not encouraging him to continue with leaving the house and his wife, but, he is my best friend and I will always side with him. From a purly objective point of view it seems like she is just turning into the woman she works with( the only time anyone from work stops by is to show off a new car or diamond).

Anyone who has been through this before tell me why it happened and maybe some advice for me as his friend. For me its "Bros before hoes". LOL

 

[Good_ol_boy]

"Starter Marrage", she's out of school and into "real life".

Better now then 3 kids (and attached child support payments) later.

 

[libre]

Willing participant

Dear sir

Your friend has a serious problem because he is a willing participant in her taking advantage of him. He's got a problem which he himself has created by not standing up for himself. That woman could not take advantage of him if he didn't let her.

Good for him that he's getting out of there after only one year!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Major entitlement issues for this woman. The 2 most common problems resulting in divorce are over sex and money. And in that order.

Beware the married AFC for he is lost.

 

[jack80202]

why did your marriage fail

Your friend needs to be able to stand up to her.
He need to tell her off. The realtionship is probably done but he need to start standin up for himself.

Selfless = LOSER

No normal woman will make babies with this man.

 

[earthshyne]

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
Major entitlement issues for this woman.

^^ What he said.

Losing a wife hurts more than passing a kidney stone, but once it's over, the relief is just as sweet.

Be there for him, keep his chin up, help him out when he needs it, and never let him second-guess his decision to leave.

Caveat: It's not uncommon for people to go through some sort of trial separation before they actually part, and sometimes - rarely, but it does happen - they get back together and stay together. So don't trash talk her because it may come back to haunt you (and besides, it's a weak thing to do anyway).

 

[torqueboxer]

Update...after she saw all of his stuff packed up and sitting in the basement. Well I guess she realized he wast playing around. They had a heart to hear( insert me caughing while saying "wimp"). They have been together now and I guess he layed down the LAW. Things have been WAY different over there. I didnt approve or dissapprove I just told him that he needs to do what makes HIM happy. I was starting to like the idea of having him "back on the team" but I would hate to see a marrage break up. I think she may have needed a reality check.

Anyway they are back together. And he is pretty happy. I think that the next time all of these problems came up it will be the finale...then I'll have to get him some strange...LOL

 

[libre]

I guess that woman changed heart. She has a good thing going and this guy is getting shafted. I wish for him that he will wise up financially.

 

[markrt69]

Very Simple:

He needs to CONTINUE to lay down the law. Doing it now is good, it saved things, but it will soon drift back. OH and watch out for this one... Her "friends" at work, will soon be heckling her, at why do you let him tell you what to do, or something to that effect. No doubt, they are either single or divorced or have p@ssywhipped husbands.

All I am saying is its not over with. he still has many hurdles to cross.

Its easy for her "friends" to destroy thru their words this marriage, since they don't stand to lose anything, and they don't even know him. So the logical conclusion to that, is to turn those tables. He may need to go with her to some hospital functions. Don't be a azz kisser, but be personable and likable. Once her friends see him as her husband and someone she cares about, its very likely, they may let up.

Another thing that can work, is surprises. Yes sounds silly, but a dozen roses sent to her at work, for no good reason it's hard to bash that. Shows him as a reasonable and caring guy to those "friends". If all else fails, another tactic is to clip her wings a bit. If it is a hardcore cliche with her friends he might try this: Find out who else her friends don't get along with. Invite em over for a cookout, dinner etc. She may just be looking for attention. If she can become friends with some of the same people that her friends give this crap to, then she may wake up, and realize her friends pre-judge alot, and what they say should be taken with a grain of salt. i have seen this WORK. The enemy of my enemy is my friend.