(Simple question) How to respond when she asks why you have been avoiding her

[deeman]

To all you Fellas out there. Lets say you Ganji a HB and inevitably she calls you and says something to the affect of "why have you been avoiding me" or "have you been avoiding me" or some other 'venus fly trap' question to see if she can trap you. How do you handle the situation?

I am a firm believer in addressing issues and being real, after all its the only way to get things resolved. So if the chick has been acting up lately is it a wise move to then proceed to tell her how shes messed up? Or do you play it off like nothings changed?

Please note, I am referring to the point at which you are pretty much sure the ganji has worked and shes trying to make real contact with you.

 

[squirrels]

Tell her the truth: you've been busy.

 

[deeman]

^ True true, good response. But, will that really accomplish much?

Has anyone had any positive results?

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by squirrels
Tell her the truth: you've been busy.

LMAO!!!!

Thank you for changing the course of what was shaping up to be a disasterous day. I'm pissing myself!

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

D - I haven't talked to you in a while... are you avoiding me?

 

[deeman]

^ ROTFL- good one, good one

I wouldn't avoid such a sexy thang.

 

[laskoe]

Simply dont answer any Questions !
Make actions !! when your ready to see her or not avoid her
then answer her calls or go out with her never answering a
single question !

Girls dont answer any questions when they act
crappy.
why should you answer questions!!

If you tell her why you are avoiding her, she will never agree with your reason for avoiding her, never !
so in her mind you will become stupid if you answer (& that would make you more afc-ish), but if you dont answer she will be self conscious wondering what she is doing wrong and less about what your doing wrong.

dont tell her , just take action, change subject, go to lunch any thing other than directly answering this.

you can even be a small challenge , but just dont give up your mystery!

 

[deeman]

wow

I like this point of view, especially:

If you tell her why you are avoiding her, she will never agree with your reason for avoiding her, never !

I have never looked at it like this, thank you for the response.

 

[HEAVENLY FATHER]

My son,

A playful approach is often the best route.

HER: Why are you avoiding me?
YOU: Well , now that you mention it. you totally suck and I never want to see you again.
HER: gasp
YOU: Just kidding love. I have been so terribly busy lately. Avoiding you is hard work!
HER: HEY!
YOU: Naw for real though, sh!t has been mad hectic..

Then you go into a little story of all the exciting things you have been up to and proceed to tell her you are glad she called and make plans to get together.

Simple and effective.

 

[laskoe]

Originally posted by HEAVENLY FATHER

YOU: Well , now that you mention it. you totally suck and I never want to see you again.

That is prety play full and funny , ok but

"sh!t has been mad hectic" = you not verry important to me anymore, i might leave you or play you.

that is the reason for taking action or changing the subject ,
i wouldnt answer her all in one sitting!

be playfull is pretty good though!

think about this :
the more you water a plant, give it food,water and sunlight the more it grows. The same with chicks the more ENERGY you give this question , problem, or dilema, the more it grows ! Aaaahhh!
refuse to let it take roots.

 

[HEAVENLY FATHER]

Originally posted by laskoe
the more you water a plant, give it food,water and sunlight the more it grows. The same with chicks the more ENERGY you give this question , problem, or dilema, the more it grows ! Aaaahhh!
refuse to let it take roots.

interesting...

It is good to play with her emotions a bit before you cave..but eventually you do have to let that connection get "rooted" or she will see you as a total flake and think you are not interested at all.

BIG MISTAKE!

The key is not to dwell on why you have been MIA, but to move on to how excellent your life is and how much you look forward to hangin out with her. The fact that you have been avoiding her is enough of a "pull" tactic for you to "push" a little more than you normally would.

 

[laskoe]

Originally posted by HEAVENLY FATHER
interesting...

It is good to play with her emotions a bit before you cave..but eventually you do have to let that connection get "rooted" or she will see you as a total flake and think you are not interested at all.

Its not very much about playing with her emotions, its more about redirecting and leading, it may even give you a chance to SHOW her not tell her how great you are.
Let your actions and other efforts speak your true interest in her. . you wont be a flake

just use a good mix of each idea.
too much of anything may not be good. but you never have to cave.


a good idea is try to Never let problems with your girl root.they may grow bigger than both of you,
the major point is: Give little attention to the issue if its not realy a big issue ( obviously if it was a big issue "deeman" wouldn't be asking for a good way to answer her question he would have told her already )

Girls/women truly think much different than guys. if your in a relationship you probly already have a connection its fine to be a great guy all the time, and be interested in her but,

the asnswer to deeman's question is seperate from general advice.

you wont bore a girl if your good at NOT caving in to her every whim

 

[laskoe]

deeman have you been avoiding her ? it would help to better answer your question.

 

[Befuddled]

If i liked her:
"why of course" (turn it into a joke.... kinda corny but thats just me)

if i didnt like her:
yeah, i am. (stare blankly) if she proceeds to start arguing, i just back away slowly and wave goodbye. Personally i find that hilarious so i have a good laugh later...hehe.

Cheers.

 

[laskoe]

saying "yeah i am" is still 100 X times better than giving a
direct answer or making up an excuse !

Befuddled

Good one.

 

[deeman]

Well, to answer your question laskoe. Yes i have been avoiding her. Today will make day 1. But I know her so well that I know she will have a reaction to it, its only a matter of time.

Yesterday I aked her if she wanted to hang out. We both weren't doing anything, and she gave me a really lame ass excuse (I couldnt believe it). And when I got off the phone with her I was pissed! So she hasnt heard from me since.

Now I do not want to cut her off, but what I do want is for her to realize that I am not someone she can take for granted or think she has me on a leash.

But at the same time I want her to know that if shes going to be shady then I am out of here.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Tell her you've been busy...going to and fro, up and down the earth seeking whom you may devour!

 

[iqqi]

i just went through this situation in my new "relationship" thingy. i never call him, he always calls first. so as a "test", he didn't call for like 3 days, as opposed to the usual 3 or so times a day.

he finally got in touch with me, a good 3-4 times, before i finally gave him the "priveledge" of keeping it real. i told him how i felt, very honestly, and why i was upset.

of course he didn't admit any fault, but it hasn't happened again.

that was the specific situation. here is the breakdown of my reasoning:

fcuk sh!t tests. they are manipulative and unworthy of my time. i don't call because i am a woman and simply i am being a challenge and letting a man pursue. if this bothers you then say so, don't sh!t test me, or i will feed it back to you.

if you express concern and i do not compromise me, i am a selfish b!tch, and you should next me. same for you. that means if i let you know that being "busy" (his excuse, of course) isn't a good enough reason to disappear for days, and you continue to do so, you aren't what i am looking for. simple. and if the truth comes out that you are hurt that i never ever call, and i still never ever call, i am not what you are looking for (a selfish, unthoughtful biotch.) luckily for him, i like him and compromised. i call here and there now.

i made him prove to me that he really was interested before i came clean that yes i was upset, and here is why, because, if a man or woman is not interested then they aren't worth your time at all anyways. if he wasn't truly into me he wouldn't have kept trying.

men, this is from the mind of a woman, shaped by DJ ideas. take what you want

 

[deeman]

Thanks iqqi, I like your reasoning. Its quite rational (for a girl).....and fellas u can flame all u want for me saying that, but I keep it real.

Oh by the way iqqi......... I have always wanted say this to you....

System on blast,
cops just pass
Just seen a big ol' ass,
it's Saturday
Sticky, iqqi, iqqi, iqqi
- Ludacris -'Saturday'