ShyRyder's 36 approaches to the Next Level

[ShyRyder]

Tobby-

Maybe, you need to look for more IOI's when you approach to up your sucess rate up a little bit.

Yah I know what you mean by IOI but I think my overall self esteem in regards to girl has a way to go before their interested. I’ve had girl really interested in me before probably a couple right now but because of the low point where I was couldn’t do much.

Audity- Yah reinforcing positive emotions is one of my top goals with this thing. Cause of my lack success of had habit of interpreting everything negative so I gotta break my self of that. You where dead on with you previous advice before, how I was posting “still in the game” like I was going to quit and being negative.


Humour, masculinity and sexuality are all element that are going to make these approaches fun. And that’s just going to reinforce positive emotion after the approach. I’ll do my best to add these things.

SELF-MASTERY-

I feel that you have to learn how to LOVE the anxiety that comes from making cold approaches;

Yah man surprisingly I have, it’s a rush and it’s a challenge the only down side is I put my ego on the line when I shouldn’t.

With that girl on the train I have no worries man. She is just a steping stone to the place that I wanna get to.

Update

It still going and I could say right now my moral is at 100%.
I think either Wednesday or Thursday I had a golden opportunity at the grocery store. This girl skipped the line and came up behind me. At that point I was thinking of saying high to the cashier. But learn that I gotta be ready at all times. Pu$$y out on another one on Friday got to do less thinking and more action. Those were good ones thought because at least of was trying to will myself but got caught up in my insecure thoughts.

A bad one I did was on my way to work on Saturday on a packed bus. Had an opportunity but instead of trying I told myself I can’t do it cause there is to many people on the bus. I’m not limited by anything and I can do whatever I want. After that one I had to make up for it.

Opened a girl when I got to work but she had to go back a couple sec after I opened. Had a good social day at work talked to this Muslim girl for a bit.

On my way home this good looking older lady from work that I didn’t see got on my bus.

Ryder: hey how u doing

Milf: I’m doing good

Ryder: How was your shift

Milf: Oh you work at that place too, it was good.

Ryder: What project were you on?

Milf: im on blah blah

Ryder: yah that one I’m working on one too it’s not good

Milf: yeah because blah blah

Ryder: yah Also this this and that (connected with her here)

Ryder: What’s your name

Milf: Sherly

Ryder: where you from (I think from now on I’m going to ask what do you do for fun istead of this)

There was more to this convo but nothing really to learn from. She was giving me short answers and not really interested. But is was a good approach cause I felt my nervousness went away really quickly. Also I was carrying the convo a lot on my own which is good practice. I think maybe she is married or has a man. And I am trying to add humor just didn’t come out in that covo. Had convos at work where I was busting on this girl so it will come.

Positives
-was nice and loud
-nervousness went away quick
-positive afterthoughts

I still feel proud of my self because I’m trying and long ago GI Joe told me that trying is half the battle. And he was a real American hero.
See I am trying.

I’m never ever ever gonna stop
Cause I’m rick james bltch

-Ryder Out :rockon:

 

[Distant Light]

Before I point out some of your problems let me try to to point out some stuff you did wrong on this approach. (This was by far your best approach out of the bunch)

Sexuality: off
Ryder: how you doing?

You keep on going in rapport seeking, your limiting yourself and putting the ball in her court. Try to use a more open ended question that doesn't make you go straight into rapport. (Only expection is if she is already insterested and giving you AIs) Right from the start it shows that your interested in her, if you want to go that route you should learn more about direct method, or juggler method.

Ryder: how you doing?

Gyal: good

Ryder: this your first day (muhhahaha sweet revenge)

Gyal: no I’ve been here for three weeks

Ryder: really I haven’t notice you around

Gyal: how long have you been working

Ryder: I’ve been working for around three weeks too.

Gyal: How do you find

Ryder: It get really repetitive quick but the pay is good and the hours are flexible

Gyal: I’m Sasha and you are * extending hand*

Ryder: (the infamous) ryder

Ryder: where you from?

Sasha: I’m from Jamaica ive been here for 9 years

Ryder: that funny cause people from JA usually have thick accents that are hard to break

Sasha: blah blah my accent was so thick that had to get ride of it

Sasha: where you from

Ryder: My background is Jamaican too but I was born here

Sasha: wow we have so much in common( seeming sarcastic, so the bltch knows about the connection clause does she)

If you read that conversation sounds more like a interview, she did give you an IOI though saying her name and asking for yours, you could also say the Kino was a IOI. Also her saying we have so much in common which you did say it seemed sarcatic so it could have been a fake IOI.

*walking to the subway we get interrupted by a beggar*

Ryder: what were you saying sorry

Big no no, never try to restart a conversation that got interrupted or cut off, just start a fresh new conversation. You look real needy doing that and thats not a good thing. Its like your hanging on her every word.

Sasha: I lost my train of thought

How do you handle when a girl is waking to fast for you pace? Tell her to slow down, walk at her pace, let her go?

I would have let her walk that fast but say something that would hook her, like a beginning of a story, that way they hear something that hooks them and there going to want to slow down to hear the rest.

Ryder: How come you walking so fast you in a hurry to get home?

Sasha: yah kind of

*as we walk down the stairs of the subway*

Ryder: What is it food or bed you running too?

Sasha: ha ha thats funny (while I give her this look trying to tell if she is being sarcastic or not)

Ryder: you going north bound?

Sasha: yah

Your being needy, asking why she is going so fast, and from the conversation text seems like your saying most of this in a serious kinda tone, it should be a fun and playful vibe. Your trying hard to be in her reality instead it should be her that suppose to come into your reality she should be asking you what train your taking, etc.

Talked a little about some boring shlt about her school then

Sasha: how old are?

Ryder: 23

Another IOI, so much stuff you could have done then a boring 23, could have went so...

Sasha: how old are?
Ryder: 10

Sasha: how old are?
Ryder: 101

Sasha: how old are?
Ryder: guess
Sasha: 18
Ryder: *overdramatic* omg how did you know...that I was 18 5 years ago.

Sasha: how old are?
Ryder: guess
Sasha: 18
Ryder: nope but your getting warm, guess again
Sasha: 22
Ryder: Your steaming hot
Sasha: 23
Ryder: Yep if you had guessed it in the first try I would have given you a prize.

You get my drift don't be so uptight and serious about your approaching.

Ryder: so umm past me your number so me and you can go out some time

Never do that "um" sh!t you don't sound confident at all and it shows that your nervous.

Gyal: hmm let me think about it

Ryder: my stop is coming up

Gyal: go out and do what

Ryder: (ooohh nice didn’t expect that) :nervous: ……. Umm We could go out for dinner, go to a movie or just go for a walk in the park.
Gyal: well I don’t give out my number to people I just met

Ryder: how come?

That was just a series of Sh!t tests.You should have smelled dat from a mile away, she was trying to get you out of state. An you probably in your serious tone said "how come we don't even talk no more..." (lol) but serious you said How come which again made you sound AFC. There were many ways to get passed that. This is also why I usually try to get the number before My time is up that way I get it and can keep talking and then don't have to worry about having to get it when I have like 5 seconds left.

Gyal: just don’t what if I had a boyfriend

Ryder: that’s cools with me no problem.

**** test, you failed.

Gyal: well I have a girl friend

Ryder: you have a girl friend

Gyal: yah I just said that

Ryder: ( yah I heard you I just wanna confirm that you’re a lesbo:box: ….why do they always wanna make it know?) Well I would have even less of a problem.

(should have said well you bring her along)

**** test, You failed
funny how you tryed to say the samething she just said, lol. Would have been way better if you say you can bring her along.

Gyal: well you just take anything wont (something to that effect)

Ryder: Naw its not like were getting married just wanna get to know you.

**** test failed, also after all those serious of **** tests failed basically lowered your value. As you could see it shows your not pre selected because your showing her that your trying so hard to get her (By seriously saying there is no problem with her having a bf or gf. Then you busting out the AFC move sayin you wanna get to know her.


All in all pick how you want to go in are you going to go in Direct or indirect? Stop making your conversations sound like interviews, and get them laughing and in a playful mood. I'm glad to see there are some guys out there working hard to improve this part of there life. Keep us updated.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

The last guy is right. The funny thing is... you still got closer than 99% of other guys. You talked to her and asked for the number, pretty good. I mean you could have had this girl but the turning point occurred when you asked for the number and didn't show confidence that was congruent with that request. That is a fancy way of saying you showed you had the balls to ask for the number (if even unconfidently) and she then proceeded to test you to see if you were the real thing, and you folded under the pressure. I think the exact turning point was here:

"Gyal: go out and do what

Ryder: (ooohh nice didn’t expect that) ……. Umm We could go out for dinner, go to a movie or just go for a walk in the park.
Gyal: well I don’t give out my number to people I just met

Ryder: how come?"

You can see right there that she changed from testing you to rejecting you. Anything with humor would have worked well after she asked you about what you would do. For instance, say in a sophisticated voice: "Well I will pick you up at 5, we'll head over to (insert fun place here), eat dinner at ____, and then head back to my place where we can "get to know each other." Finish with a smirk to show sarcasm. Depends on the girl really. That is one way of completely ignoring her test (the test was to see if you would try to impress her and if you would get nervous because you really didn't have any plans). Now, if you really had cool things to do with her, you could suggest them to her, like you're genuinely interested in just having fun with her, not trying to hook up with her. The main thing you need to do is loosen up and learn to have FUN convos with these girls. I like how you look back on each situation and think of better things to say/do... that is great and will definitely help you. I can see that if you lost your nervousness and fear you would be a lot better off. Change your attitude to a less serious one and you will probably end up as a pretty suave guy.

 

[Blackdragon5095]

ShyRyder you are getting better at convo skills. I have to say, your getting these girls to talk all day long. Kept up the good work. I have to say this but when you get to 35 don't stop their. Do 100 like I'm gonna do this summer. I'm telling you I'm proud of your courage to apporach women, their are alot of keyboard jockeys who are too sarced to be doing what you are doing. 2 thumps up.

 

[ShyRyder]

I’ll respond to you guys later on, What up Pimpfromdayone I’m going all the way this time.

Morale took a hit today. Shlt sometimes my life feels like I’m living in some kind of nightmare. Where everything that could give me some sense of happiness is just at arms length. The more I want it and the more I try to grab at I come away with nothing. I had an attempt today something I’m proud of or should be proud of. Open this HB 8.5 with her friend while she was walking. Convo didn’t go well at all I stalled and after I regain my composure I just ejected because I was going in a different direction or really because it was going shltty. I didn’t choose the life I was given, I’m a ghetto child and no one at all gave me any kind of direction. Never followed the crowd because the crowd is into self destruction and it’s seem ive been burning every since. I’ve been trying to climb out of this bottomless hole four like four years now. It took so long just to realize where i was at and where i wanted to be. On days like this I resent the world and people who have shlt. I faced almost every fear with in reach over and over and over. And while my self-esteem has made gains theirs days where I stuggle to walk down the street without believe the world is judging me. And I still don’t got a damn thing show for it. This journeys has been too long and too difficult for one man. And the worst part about it is that I know these things are the result of things that I’m doing wrong, my thinking, my fears, my faults. It’s so deep seated that one action and one day can’t take it away. I really hope that the down hill part comes real soon. I pray to whoever will hear that my destiny finds me some belonging this summer. I’m only human

Never give up.

 

[Distant Light]

What state do you live in and how old are you?

 

[AudiTy]

I’ll respond to you guys later on, What up Pimpfromdayone I’m going all the way this time.

Morale took a hit today. Shlt sometimes my life feels like I’m living in some kind of nightmare. Where everything that could give me some sense of happiness is just at arms length. The more I want it and the more I try to grab at I come away with nothing. I had an attempt today something I’m proud of or should be proud of. Open this HB 8.5 with her friend while she was walking. Convo didn’t go well at all I stalled and after I regain my composure I just ejected because I was going in a different direction or really because it was going shltty. I didn’t choose the life I was given, I’m a ghetto child and no one at all gave me any kind of direction. Never followed the crowd because the crowd is into self destruction and it’s seem ive been burning every since. I’ve been trying to climb out of this bottomless hole four like four years now. It took so long just to realize where i was at and where i wanted to be. On days like this I resent the world and people who have shlt. I faced almost every fear with in reach over and over and over. And while my self-esteem has made gains theirs days where I stuggle to walk down the street without believe the world is judging me. And I still don’t got a damn thing show for it. This journeys has been too long and too difficult for one man. And the worst part about it is that I know these things are the result of things that I’m doing wrong, my thinking, my fears, my faults. It’s so deep seated that one action and one day can’t take it away. I really hope that the down hill part comes real soon. I pray to whoever will hear that my destiny finds me some belonging this summer. I’m only human

Never give up.

Just know that the path to an exceptional life is a long and dreary one, littered with opportunities to admit defeat. As the great Tony Robbins says, "EVERY EMOTION IS NOT BASED ON A SITUATION, BUT YOUR INTERPRETATION OF THE SITUATION!". You must to realise that everytime a negative thought occurs, it's another weight on your back, another thorn in your sole, slowing you from reaching your new grounds.

I know exactly what you mean, and I'm sure many others here do, when you say you can't go down the street without the feeling of being judged. It's not uncommon, and it CAN be overcome, as all beliefs can. I used to have this affliction, due to not being a hugely social person. I used to actually care what people thought. The only way to break through this barrier, is repatition.

Every time an event occurs usually gives you negative thoughts or feelings, just reassure yourself. Give yourself a reality check. Resite a quote, mantra or saying that turns the situation around, and empowers you. They are limiting beliefs, beliefs being the key word. You believe this silly thing, for whatever reason, and you are suffering at the grips of this belief. Even if it is true that a person judges you when you walk down the street, SO WHAT! SO FVCKING WHAT!!! Laugh in their faces, secure in the knowledge that you are looking down at them in their little reality bubble, probably stuck in the same old cycle, day in day out.

See, these things can be flipped in your favour, it's just a matter of trusting yourself, respecting yourself, and becoming your future self.

-AudiTy =o

P.S. Don't really laugh in their faces, unless you really do want people to judge you......insane.

 

[ShyRyder]

Distant Light:
Yah man your right about the intro “how you doing” Truthfully the only reason ive been using it is because I felt that if I used an observational opener I would get caught up in thinking of something to say. As of now I’m a lot more confident trying new things.

Big no no, never try to restart a conversation that got interrupted or cut off, just start a fresh new conversation. You look real needy……

I agree completely and I’ll remember not to do that again.

I would have let her walk that fast but say something that would hook her, like a beginning of a story

I’m not much of a storyteller and I don’t have anything scripted but if I’m taking the convo in the right direction CF + teasing then that should take care of it self I guess.


HB: “ Well I don’t give my number to people I just met”

Need more constructive criticism from you man. How would you respond to that objection?

Yah I understand what you mean by pre selected I watch some of the Deangleo seminars and he was big on showing the girl that you’re the one doing the selecting.

Pimpfromdayone

"Well I will pick you up at 5, we'll head over to (insert fun place here), eat dinner at ____, and then head back to my place where we can "get to know each other." Finish with a smirk to show sarcasm.

Nice Ok man I get you. I’ll remember this for next time.

the test was to see if you would try to impress her and if you would get nervous because you really didn't have any plans.

Yah this is exactly what happen I didn’t have any plans and really just viewed it as a stage of my development so when she asked I got nervous.

Blackdragon5095

36 approaches is just my immediate goal, I’m not stopping until approaching is a synonymous with breathing I just gotta do it.

Thanks for your support and input and that goes for everyone.

Audity

Just know that the path to an exceptional life is a long and dreary one, littered with opportunities to admit defeat.

This is something that I believe, this way of thinking is something I’ve read or hear in a lot of in differect forms. But I want to hold it in my hands and not just with the faith in my mind.

I know exactly what you mean, and I'm sure many others here do, when you say you can't go down the street without the feeling of being judged. It's not uncommon, and it CAN be overcome, as all beliefs can.

It’s good to know I’m not alone on this one. Man I really hate when this happens and it doesn’t happen all the time just sometimes on my weaker days. But when it does happen I feel a lot of shame like I am a child who’s scared to just walk in front of others. But I’ve been working on keeping my mind in a woken state so hopefully it will be a thing of the past.

Every time an event occurs usually gives you negative thoughts or feelings, just reassure yourself. Give yourself a reality check. Resite a quote, mantra or saying that turns the situation around, and empowers you. They are limiting beliefs, beliefs being the key word.

I’ve been working on being more positive and not replaying perceived negative events in my mind and I think its paying off. Since im not repaying social or other events in my mind there is no that much pressure to perform. If some perceived bad thing happen it happens and then that’s it I move on with my life.


It’s funny how my emotions are cycling if you go thought this thread. Everything is a circle like in the Lion King, the circle of life. I got reason to feel great because after being down I bounce back quicker then the last time and with a vengeance. I’ll give you a sample of the approach the got me down.


On the street this was Wednesday evening. And I think that’s one of the first times that I approached 2 girls to together so I give myself props.

Ryder: how you doing? (from now on using observational openers)

HB8: good

Ryder: what are you up too

HB8: I’m going to the bank

Ryder: Oh ok (should have said: What you going to rob the bank cause you look like one of those type of girls) I always think of the best things to say afterwards


HB8: where abouts do you live

Ryder: aight see later

HB8: later

Ejected because my street came and I didn’t want to continue the bad conversation. I was vexed at myself because its always important to let the physical nervousness become less so that you brain remembers that you have nothing to fear an I didn’t do that. Also its seems that I wasn’t improving at all so I was obviously mad with my self but I’m so use to being positive after an approach that I balance it out with the fact I approached two girls.

 

[ShyRyder]

Next morning was great had 2 approaches but I didn’t post them cause they were pretty much the same interview foolishness that I’ve been doing. U can check em if you want approaches

I think a lot of my success will come when I get more comfortable in my approaches. I was using the opener ” how you doing” only out of fear that I would stall and couldn’t think of an observational opener. I think after the last couple of approaches I have proven to myself that I got the balls to try new things with success.

I’ve used an observational opener once in this thread and on also a groceries cashiers and an old lady today. There is something about it that gets people to open up and talk when you make a comment on what’s going on in the surroundings its like a key and I’m going to use it from now on.


On the bus going to the gym today. I still have a problem with other people seeing me approach a girl I foolishly waited for someone a “cool” person to get off the bus before I opened my mouth. I guess it was fate because when I though about it the dude got off. Gotta get over it

Ryder: It’s pretty windy out there today (observational opener)

HB7: huh what ( all confused)

Ryder: It’s windy

HB7: Oh yea

Ryder: Where are U? Are you here (tease)

HB7 : tee hee I’m just out of it.

Ryder: What brings you out?

HB: I’m going to my friend house to get my hair done.

Ryder: Damn this early you gotta look good all the time huh?(tease)

HB: tee hee no I just blah blah some excuse

.
.
.
.
.
Ryder: what you going to do with your hair

HB: Im going to get blah blah
.
.
.
Ryder: I like getting my hair done but I hate having to sit down for long (comment)

HB: yea it takes so long sometimes blah blah blah (connection points)

Ryder: Whats your name?

HB: Keysha

Ryder: What do you like to do with your time keysha?

HB: Um I don’t do much mostly I’m home a lot and just usually chill.
(maybe I should have busted on her again)

Ryder: Yah I like chilling at home sometimes it can be really relaxing.

My stop was coming

Ryder: So pass me your number lets chill one time.

HB: I have a boyfriend

Ryder: so we can still talk on the phone

HB: yah but I talk to some many different people

Ryder: I’m not just anybody (C+F)

HB: tee hee That’s what every body says.

Ryder: Cool Well it was nice meeting you( poked her thigh)

HB: bye

Pros
-bascially killed it, I’m a star

negs
-care about other judgments
-little pause in between


How do I handle the boyfriend objection?????

I can only describe the feeling I felt after as a mini orgasm. Man I felt so much good vibes I was squatting 195pounds with a smile. This is by far my best approach in this thread and probably my best cold approach ever. It looks like the stuff from this board was just under the surface waiting to come out. I don’t know if its because my lifts in the gym are getting heavier but since Wednesday I’ve been killing it. For those keeping track that’s four approaches in three days. After this approach Friday night doesn’t seem so ruff. If I keep this rate up which I will hopefully I’m going to be a DJ before the summer officially starts.

I’m on top of the world again and if I fall off I can read this post and remind myself it takes no time to get to the top again.
Until approaching is like breathing

-Ryder out
11 :box:

 

[AudiTy]

Ryder, you did it! You made a bus approach, remember all this time when you were so anxious of this kind of approach? Well, funny how it turned out to be your best approach. Too bad she had a bf. There was a great thread about responses to the bf situation, a few I liked:

Thread found here

HB: Sorry, I'm seeing someone right now.
DJ: I'm seeing two women right now - you need to catch up. (BIG GRIN)

HB: Sorry, I have a boyfriend.
DJ: O rly? When's the wedding day?
HB: Oh no, we're not engaged.
DJ: Well, in that case it can't be that serious. Give me your number, I'll call you, and we'll have lunch together.

DJ: How about we get together next Thursday night?
HB: I have a boyfriend.
DJ: Oh, well I'd prefer if he doesn't come with us.


There's tons of great responses to the 'I have a boyfriend' situation. I don't recommend pursuing any girl that says she has a boyfriend, whether she's lying or not. But you can definately have a bit of fun with your reply. It's a great tool in your box, because lets face it, alot of girls have boyfriends.


-AudiTy =o

 

[ShyRyder]

-Audity

Yah man I still feel great about that approach. I learned part of that lesson with library girl not to pursue girls with boyfriends. There are some good responses to “I have a boyfriend in that thread”.

I’ll use the wedding one also

“Don’t you want a better one?”

“I just met you five minutes ago and you’re already telling me about your problems:

My new style is

Observational Opener

What brings you out?
(tease)
(comment)

What do you like to do with you time?
(tease)
(comment)

Update

Things have been going ok but for sure this is not my best week. I’ve had the feeling that I don’t care to wait for buying signals anymore and just open as much as I can. I figure any sort of interaction is something to learn from. But it’s been difficult I have certain comfort zones with the approaches that I do. I had some buying signals in the library the other day but could not force my self to go. My comfort level with approaches is the highest at bus stops but I’m looking to expand.

Tuesday at a bus stop.


Ryder: I can’t stand how windy it is

HB: Yea

And the bus always takes so long to come

Ryder: True

Ryder: So what brings you out?

HB: I’m going somewhere ( threw my off was trying to think of busting on her but kinda stalled….Should have said “somewhere you sound like one of those crazy people who ride the buses for fun”)

HB:You live around here

Ryder: yea…..you?

Ryder: how long have you been in the area?

HB: For about 1year now

Ryder: How do you find it?

HB: It’s ok I mostly but I keep to myself blah blah

Ryder: Yah it’s not a bad area to live as long hang around with the right kind of people

(She *Smiles* as if to say im the right kind of people)

Ryder: So what do you like with your time?

I like to go to church blah blah

Ryder: Oh can you sing (tease)

HB:Tee he umm a little

Ryder: Wanna sing something for me right now

HB: tee he that’s not going to happen

HB: so what do you do?

Ryder: I do a lot of things. ( I Like this response I ‘am going to use it often)

Ryder: Where do you work?

HB: I work at a candy factory.

Ryder: (I forget what I said but I couldn’t think of anything to bust on her at the time and it’s so easy, should have said “wait a minute you got a job at a candy factory just so you could eat up all the candy”)

After that she started guessing where I work until I told her. A bus came which wasn’t mine but I could have still taken it to the station and caught my bus there but I didn’t get on with her out of fear that the conversation would go nowhere in front of other people.
I also didn’t close for the same reason and hesitated in the beginning for the same reason.
I am going to write down that fear in my anxiety journal and try to work it out.

Whoever first said Hesitation=Masturbation is a genius. That’s my problem lately I get that urge to ride the fear but then I think about it for a bit an then approach. On this one it was really bad because I had my sexuality with me but waited until it died down. As if to say interacting with them on the level is not right or too risky. Who knows maybe I would have writen you a lay report right now instead of an attempt

3 sec rule
-Ryder

 

[L777]

ey shyryder, nice one on the last approach, that was top notch...well pretty decent anyway.

This should be motivation to the kbj's who are too scared or whatever to approach.

Do this 5 times a day and you'll get laid once a week minimum

 

[MyWay]

Pook said the "hestitation = masturbation". anyway, you are doing good work... you are far more ahead of me, I haven't approached women at all!
I'm in the stage of talking to random strangers whenever I think of something.

in the beginning I often had thoughts like someone said something, did something or something happened and I just mentally made a comment...right now I'm learning to just spit it out.

sounds like you could try the same when you approach...just say what's on your mind,don't analyze it first. (of course if you come up with the remark on the spot, not afterwards )

 

[ShyRyder]

Last night at the train station I was catching my bus home. This fly girl who was small but easily a HB9 walked toward me and gave eye contact. Stood there for a couple seconds adjusted her pants than leaned up on the same wall that I was leaning on. My insecurities had me thinking for a good little bit but not as long as last approach. I just said to myself “do you wanna stay this way forever” as in do you wanna be AFCish not control of you life forever. I am going to use that saying from now on because it got me to open earlier.

Ryder: the temperature dropped low really fast

HB9: yea

Ryder: So What brings you out?

*ignores me*

Ryder: SO WHAT BRINGS YOU OUT? (Aggressive as hell)

HB9: I speak Spanish ok (lying)

Ryder: Como vai?

HB9: *smiles* that’s Brazilian

Ryder: Como esta?

*ignores me*


I think I read on this site some where that the hotter they are the less opportunity you going to have. Even though I hesitated a tiny bit it was still enough for her to take a pass I believe. Or maybe she was just a frigid bltch but either way I gotta stop hesitating. I don’t wanna stay this way forever :woo:

Never stopping
-Ryder

 

[Distant Light]

See this is why I love indirect Approaching and all that PUA outer game stuff. you would have been able to get past that ***** shield that she had put up, atleast you tryed.

 

[Boschy]

Regarding the "I have a boyfriend" response, the important thing is to anticipate that any girl you are chatting up will say this and be ready for it. That way, if she does drop this line, you are not thrown off by it. Have your own response ready and deliver it smoothly.

I usually say something like this: "You have a boyfriend? Well listen. He will be upset about the break-up at first, but over time, he will get over you eventually." Then change the subject. I'm sure there is a lot more info in the other thread. I will chase it down myself.

I also think you could benefit from reading books or newspapers aloud to improve your speaking voice. Do this at home alone. Just pick up anything and read it out load, it doesn't matter. Actually, read some poetry or Shakespeare...that would really be like a good workout for your voice. The point of this exercise is to sharpen your verbal skills so that your conversations flow more naturally. During these exercises, vary the pitch in your voice and do silly things like reading slowly and then as fast as you can without making mistakes. Get used to the sound of your voice, so that you build a solid bridge between your brain and your mouth, since this is your main Weapon of Mass Seduction

On another topic, I assume that you are smiling enough during these approaches? One thing I do when I go out with the intent of finding someone to talk to, is to flex my mouth, lips, and jaw muscles to loosen then up. Of course, this looks weird if someone sees you, so try to do it when nobody is around (especially the HB, heh heh). Then, if I need to smile at a girl walking past, I can do it quickly and it looks natural.

Bosch

 

[Microphone Fiend]

good sh!t, idda pussied out after she said i speak spanish....LOL @ como vais and como esta...ballsy

 

[ShyRyder]

Confidence High

-Boschy
"You have a boyfriend? Well listen. He will be upset about the break-up at first, but over time, he will get over you eventually." Ahahha

I’m adding that to my arsenal. Yah getting you voice to resonate really can make you come off as really confidence. When I have time I practice building up the power of my voice. I will take your advice about reading books, etc and every post that I read at sosuave aloud.

1. projection- focus on a spot away and get your voice to reach that spot.

Count to five and linger on the vowels

ONE w-UN-n
TWO t-OO
THREE thr-EE
FOUR f-AW-r
FIVE f- I -v

update

The past couple of days my confidence has been soaring. This has been the result of just facing my fears with approaching and plus the usually stuff I do with martial arts and the gym. But the thing is sometimes instead of taking advantage of my confidence I feel like if I try to push myself more that I’ll lose it and go back down. This I know is stupid and that the opposite is true that I got to push as much as possible while I have it so I stay at that level.

Has anyone else had similar experience with this?

But I have been pushing my self maybe about 50% of maximum. The week past wasn’t that good for approaching; a good looking guy like me usually gets 3-4 buying signals in the week. I have had a few attempts so I know something will come up soon. This week coming up sould be really good.

Until approaching is like breathing
-Ryder

 

[Boschy]

I rarely get buying signals/AIs (purchasing some bling bling is on the to do list). Which just makes the challenge of approaching that much more fun and surprising for me and the girl.

 

[librito]

shyryder,, you are doing a perfect job to get to the next level.

I'm gonna do you a favor and advise you on something that I just found out 4 months ago after studying seduction for about two years now.

the best way to open sets is by using indirect openers.
I can not stress this enough. indirect openers will help you pull pick ups that you never thought you could do it in your wildest dreams.
indirect openers are meant to help you open sets without having to hit on any of the girls and the best part is that you can go into a fullblown conversation about relationships with the HB's in less than a minute.

another powerfull thing about indect openers is that the babes CAN NOT, AND I MEAN CAN NOT AND I REPEAT CANT NOT reject you at the beginning of the conversation because
A) you are not hitting on theM and therefore THEY CAN NOT REJECT YOU.
B) they will honestly believe that you just need their opinion and will try to help you.."poor you".
C) the indirect openers content are meant to interest the girls inmediately because they are about relationships... you know how women think they know it all when it comes to relationships?.. thats how you hook them.

the only trick about indirect openers is that you gotta believe your own bullshyt while you're saying it. if you act as IF what you are talking about is a real issue, then theyll believe it in a heartbeat. just convey personality during the conversation and try not to hit on the girl you like before 5 to 10 minutes.
my favorite indirect opener and the only one I USE was invented by the PUA Style.
this is called the "who LIes more men or women" I added a couple of stuff that help me while doing it and youll make something up for yourself once you start using it too. it goes like this,,,,

"hey guys, I need your opinion on something."
and then give then a "False time constraint" so theyll think you're not gonna be talking with them for ever and they will be stuck with you. say, "I have to get going because my friend is waiting for me"
by this time you have their full attention....
"but I wanna know who lies more men or women, my friend thinks that one gender lies more and I think the other gender lies more..."

research this opener and learn it and youll see how easy it is to open sets everywhere you go effortlessly.
do not disregard this information before you use it because I once thought that inderect openers were for wussies and that hurt my game a lot until I started to use it.
I know know how difficult it is to open a hb without showing your real intent and at the same time trying to let then know that you are not afraid of your sexuality. indirect openers are the way to go man. try them and the sky is the limit.