I have become a regular at this night club and alot of the girls know me. Last night I was hitting on this girl and everything was going great, kissed her and I felt like she was massivly interested in me( she actually stole me off another girl) eventually she said so are you going to buy me a drink. I replied no thats your job. She looked at me and said are you kidding every time i ask a guy to buy me a drink he does Im not talking to you now. I said fine and walked away to find the girl i was previously with. Later on she came up and said "What is your problem why didnt you buy me a drink" I replied with something like "There is no way on this earth am i going to pay you to talk to me you either like me or you dont" she said "i do like you but its a guys job to buy girls drinks" eventually after arguing with her i said "im not wasting my time with you", because the conversation was just based on how i was an self ******* blah blah blah. Eventually she turned all cold on me and said i cant ****in believe you. So guys is there any time you should buy a girl a drink?
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Should you ever buy a girl a drink?
- Thread starter wildchild
- Start date
I would say by just your responses you're pretty good with the ladies so ur not exactly desperate. One tip of advice I think would be good (maybe i'm wrong) - don't sit there arguing with her because that shows weakness and that you actually DO care what she thinks. I am not saying buy her a drink - don't. Instead, switch the subject to something else that may spark her interest because you've already shown her that you are a Don Juan and don't need her.
Check out my post and tell me if u have any advice.
Check out my post and tell me if u have any advice.
Im actually doing not too bad with the ladies recently. Yeah I think your right I shouldnt argue over it, i hope i remember this in future. I have found a pretty good club i go to and I have started to get to know the staff and alot of the regualrs in there. I probably best at night club macking, I have to improve my street game though.
You did the right thing here for sure.
If a chick ever ASKS for a drink, your damn right you don't buy her one. This chick clearly has a screwed up mindset, the exact one which is the reason you don't buy chicks drinks.
You were doing well it seems, she came back to you even after you refused (you upped her interest level by refusing). But then getting into a whole argument (and verbalising your mindset) sent things downhill. Should have changed the subject and escalated.
As an example, I have been talking to chicks and then some dude comes up and hands a drink to them, they say thanks and then he walks off! How lame is that? They queued at the bar, give her a free drink, and the chick has already moved onto talking with me!
There could be a few instances where you could buy one, e.g. if she will buy one back later (but that's tough to judge). And the subconcious message is there for both of you to see, "I am buying your time, because why else would you spend time with me". So, if you had to have a hard and fast rule, go with never buy a chick a drink. I certainly never do. I've had chicks buy me drinks though.
The bottom line is, if you don't buy chicks drinks, you could lose out on the golddigger types (not necessarily though), but ones who are genuinely attracted it won't hurt your chances. In that sense, it's a good screening tool. However, if you go round buying drinks, it puts you in the AFC frame that they are so familiar with and hurts your chances (and it will be the thin end of the wedge, they think you can be manipulated, and the interaction will start to slide).
If a chick ever ASKS for a drink, your damn right you don't buy her one. This chick clearly has a screwed up mindset, the exact one which is the reason you don't buy chicks drinks.
You were doing well it seems, she came back to you even after you refused (you upped her interest level by refusing). But then getting into a whole argument (and verbalising your mindset) sent things downhill. Should have changed the subject and escalated.
As an example, I have been talking to chicks and then some dude comes up and hands a drink to them, they say thanks and then he walks off! How lame is that? They queued at the bar, give her a free drink, and the chick has already moved onto talking with me!
There could be a few instances where you could buy one, e.g. if she will buy one back later (but that's tough to judge). And the subconcious message is there for both of you to see, "I am buying your time, because why else would you spend time with me". So, if you had to have a hard and fast rule, go with never buy a chick a drink. I certainly never do. I've had chicks buy me drinks though.
The bottom line is, if you don't buy chicks drinks, you could lose out on the golddigger types (not necessarily though), but ones who are genuinely attracted it won't hurt your chances. In that sense, it's a good screening tool. However, if you go round buying drinks, it puts you in the AFC frame that they are so familiar with and hurts your chances (and it will be the thin end of the wedge, they think you can be manipulated, and the interaction will start to slide).
PowertripII
Don Juan
First off, I'd point out that there is no sign near the bar that says it's our job to buy women drinks..
Secondly, it's ok to buy them drinks, but I only do it as a courtesy. If they ask I'll just laugh it off and let it be known that I see through their game ("what, was the rent due today?")
C.
Secondly, it's ok to buy them drinks, but I only do it as a courtesy. If they ask I'll just laugh it off and let it be known that I see through their game ("what, was the rent due today?")
C.
Next time, try...
Sure, why don't you buy ME a drink first, and if I still like you by the time I've drank it, I'll return the favour.
That kinda tells her that you WILL buy a drink, but she has to work for it.
Sure, why don't you buy ME a drink first, and if I still like you by the time I've drank it, I'll return the favour.
That kinda tells her that you WILL buy a drink, but she has to work for it.
Chosen1
Master Don Juan
sometimes you probably should like to loosen her up
Seems that the connection between the two of you, just wasn't worth it!
But if you ever feel like you are buying someone a drink as some sort of payment...then just don't. Now if you just want to offer someone you like a drink or something, well then that is sweet. I'll buy you a drink if you like...lol
But if you ever feel like you are buying someone a drink as some sort of payment...then just don't. Now if you just want to offer someone you like a drink or something, well then that is sweet. I'll buy you a drink if you like...lol
Thanks guys I really appricate your encouragement. I have alot to do to improve my game, sometimes i can be a bit cheeky a neg far too much I feel i have to find that balance, thanks again everyone for the help you've given me and I shall return the favour to other members on the forum.
Haha, christ. Next time, just tell her that you'll buy the first round if she buys the second and go for it My wing bought a chick a drink at a club a few weeks back and ended up going home with her. I think she's in love with him now. The whole "i'd rather DIE before i buy you a drink" thing is for guys who are terminal AFCs. If you're a fly guy, it's ok to buy ONE drink ONCE IN AWHILE.
My wing bought a chick a drink at a club a few weeks back and ended up going home with her. I think she's in love with him now. The whole "i'd rather DIE before i buy you a drink" thing is for guys who are terminal AFCs. If you're a fly guy, it's ok to buy ONE drink ONCE IN AWHILE.
H
henry_dreamx
Guest
NICE JOB!I can tell your a real dJ unlike most guys,good thing you didnt buy her a drink otherwise she would think your some wuss,dude PM great job.wildchild said:
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
wildchild said:
- You obviously have a good understanding of yourself and are confident in your actions.
- You don't give a sh1t about what guys "usually" do.
- You understand that your time, effort and companiounship is worth much more than a drink
- You know how to effectivly qualify a woman.
- You aren't afraid to stand by your convictions under pressure.
- You aren't a AFC.
Bravo!
SeldomSeen
Senior Don Juan
Re:
Now if I meet a girl and 5 minutes into things she says "go get me a drink" I'll look around and say "you see all these guys around here, Im sure they'd be happy to buy you a drink but I'M NOT The ONE" Sometimes she'll walk away in frustration but ocassionally a woman will stick around.
exactly. If I meet a girl and we connect and have a conversation off to the side for awhile I may stop in the middle of the conversation and say "hey I think I'm going to get myself a drink, would you like one?"Lifeforce said:
Now if I meet a girl and 5 minutes into things she says "go get me a drink" I'll look around and say "you see all these guys around here, Im sure they'd be happy to buy you a drink but I'M NOT The ONE" Sometimes she'll walk away in frustration but ocassionally a woman will stick around.
i have to agree with the others, you did alright. but maybe play off on the interest when she came back to you but negging her or crack a witty remark...instead of creating pointless drama.
i see no problem in buying a chick a drink out of courtesy, as long as im not seeking her approval by doing so.
Kind of reminded me of the time i went out with this girl, i paid the entrance fee to the bar. i ordered teh drinks, when it came she expected me to pay...forgot what happened but i made her pay, i tipped the bartender. She WAS a gold digger, yet she's loaded from her daddy's bank account
in general most girls are pretty spoiled and creat some rule in their head that all guys must pay. this summer i was stuck in a summer class and i was the only guy, the prof being female, she asked if the girls would expect the guy to pay on the first date. most to all of them said yes, a typical answer.
i see no problem in buying a chick a drink out of courtesy, as long as im not seeking her approval by doing so.
Kind of reminded me of the time i went out with this girl, i paid the entrance fee to the bar. i ordered teh drinks, when it came she expected me to pay...forgot what happened but i made her pay, i tipped the bartender. She WAS a gold digger, yet she's loaded from her daddy's bank account
in general most girls are pretty spoiled and creat some rule in their head that all guys must pay. this summer i was stuck in a summer class and i was the only guy, the prof being female, she asked if the girls would expect the guy to pay on the first date. most to all of them said yes, a typical answer.
If I'm having sex with her...or if I'm dating her...I would buy her a drink.wildchild said:
If she asked me to dance and we danced several songs (e.g. I have fun), I would offer to buy her for a drink.
If she is a good friend of mine, I would buy her a drink the same way I would buy a guy a drink.
I would NEVER buy a woman a drink for the purpose to get her talking to me...or because she talked with me a few minutes. I WOULD never buy a woman a SECOND drink unless she is married to me or in a sexual relatioship with me. In fact, I would expect women (other than those two) to buy ME the second drink. Or at least offer.
If I meet a woman at a bar and a nightclub and she asks me to buy her a drink...I would say "no. however you can buy me one".