Should I continue messaging her?

[NotAgain]

I need some level heads to speak some logic to me. I'm a well regarded and known student at a Community College I study at. There is this HB I am interested in. We're on friendly terms the chance encounters I've had with her and even borrowing a few things off her in times of need.

After the lessons on this site, one day I decided to act on my interest. When I bumped into her, I got her number and after a couple exchanges I asked her out. From the grapevines of her friends, sounds like she was impressed with my forwardness. She told me she was extremely flattered but long story short - her interest was in another guy.

Normally I'd do the nexting and find a few new ladies to keep me entertained but its weird with this one. I think the fact I asked her before getting to know her set the tone for our interactions and maybe the fact I'm well known has kept her in touch with me. Where I use to be the AFC, I've become more of an closed book but ****y and cheeky guy towards woman while still showing the odd glimmer of gentlemanliness and being a nice guy. This I have found, is probably a perfect formula to attracting woman.

The weeks that has proceeded, our messaging has increased (even when I've thought to cease messaging her yet she has carried the conversation) and she is becoming increasingly flirtatious. It helps that our course we study is very physical so we are constantly in kino and touch. Furthermore we are actually spending time outside of class together but studying.

So what do you guys think? I've already got a date lined up for next week but I enjoy the company of this HB and given an opening, I'd take my chances.

 

[VladPatton]

Diagnosis: Oneitis with acute Friend Zone Syndrome.

Chill with her, do your school thing with her, but abandon all hope of dating or banging her. She expressed interest in someone else.

Actually, if you really wanna take that ''chance'', ask her out again, in person, just for kicks, but expect nothing.

 

[Tomo]

Make sure you are openly sexual when you're talking to her e.g. don't be afraid to check out woman in front of her although more discreetly or taboo subjects. I've found most of the scenarios similiar to this will culminate in that one moment you have to make your move or you lose it i.e. kiss closing when the situation presents or a drunken night out and going for it. Contrary to what other white knighting forums say, by doing it rather than 'respecting her boundaries' you'll get her hamster wheel spinning even more and into you.

Once you become an emotional tampon to her though: bail. There are two types of guys in the friendzone: those she'll f*** and those she won't.

 

[Jespin]

Move on to the next one
But if you're sure you can steal her from that other guy (which is possible)
Then go for it

 

[NotAgain]

Thanks guys,

Well thats the thing. Ever since asking her out til now, her whole demeanor has changed as if she was expressing interest in me. Not one mention of a guy or nothing. Friends of hers tell me that the interest she has in the other guy is one of those crush's girls never act on.

It's just wierd because before I stumbled upon this site, I've dated friends before where I may have spent a month getting to know a HB before things escalate and next thing you know we're in bed together. Furthermore I've had two friends girl and guy; guy was friendzoned by a chick and when she broke up with the ex, she hooked up with my mate and they've been together for 5 years about to get married. This seems to be the trend among those I know.

Sometimes I don't think these things are as black or white as we post it as. Cheers to Vlad that I definately won't be putting an active interest in her nor disappointed things go awry but I'll def take the other advice and give it a punt as nothing really to lose in my situation.

 

[MountainSlide]

Is a DJ afraid of competition from other men? The answer to that question by the way is no. From my understanding of what your saying is she is now sending you mixed signals. Making you feel that there is hope, while telling you there isn't thereby negating any responsibility of hers if your feelers get hurt. Perhaps she wants to keep you around just in case things don't work out with the other guy. You wanna make her want you? Show her that you are desired by other attractive women. That has a tendency to drive women crazy. Just make sure she sees you hanging out with other women .

 

[Sino Zane]

Agree with the first poster - abandon the idea of getting back together with her. Work on yourself, improve yourself in every capacity, and hang out with her. When hanging out with her, show her these improvements.

Also, date more than one woman.

 

[El Payaso]

She's just leading you on and enjoys giving you just enough attention to make you feel like you have a chance with her while still keeping you at arm's length.

Rule #1: An interested woman will NEVER confuse you. Unless you are looking for a platonic friend, which I honestly don't think you are, you should next get completely. Delete her number, messages, email or whatever.

 

[3agle 3yes]

I see this time and time again.

Yes, I would take the advice of the comments here and move on but you need to know:

If you behave friendly and non sexual with a woman, you can't expect her to want to be f*cked by you...it happens occasionally but the sex is almost always worse.

Friends don't do "nasty" things to each other...

And I guarantee the guy she is interested in ISN'T "friends" with her.

There's this misconception that you can only f*ck women that you're on good terms with...not in my experience.

It's like watching a movie where nothing happens.

Say/do something inappropriate (not touching) and don't apologise for it.

Make jokes about her friends, borrow her stuff and don't give it back, make her feel a little uncomfortable around you...uncomfortable in a fearful way...DEFINITELY not in a disgusted way.

There are only two ways women view men (assuming they're not related).

Those they see as friends and those they see as sexual options...don't be the friend.

The more she sees you as a friend the more difficult it is to change that perception...so you had a slim chance anyway.

See it like this:

If you are her lover, you can't be her friend, if you are her friend, you can't be her lover and if you stupid enough to attempt both...then you're her b*tch.

 

[NotAgain]

Thanks guys, yeah woke up this morning and after a night out and more 'socialising' it's kinda hit me well enough now to see your points better. The thing is this all happened within the of less than a week so maybe I didn't build enough rapport? Regardless, I won't be messaging her anymore. We have a big party next week but so I am definitely keen to game her then and see if I can pull it off. It's funny, I've always found that once you build some type of familiarity with a woman then let it be, the moment you add alcohol and a celebration and they will take any excuse to jump on you; maybe I am delusional?

Kissed and number closed a chick last night so I'll see how I go with this one.