Swampcamel
Don Juan
MAN, tough ****. I'm 5'8'', and it's just harder work. Here are the things I've been suggested, and some of the things I've noticed...
FIRST, gotta work out. I've also got a hyper-metabolism, and the stuff in the fitness/diet thread's been good but it's just SUCH a long and somewhat expensive road, so I'm a couple months out from getting from 120 lbs up to a recommended 140 for my height. I'm still really fit, my body works great for me, got abs and strength and speed, but I think it puts off a girl in a huge maybe self conscious way when you're smaller than her in either dimension (width, length). She doesn't like thinking about her waist size being bigger than yours.
So, that'll help, but I'm impatient in the meantime. Savoy advises wearing tall shoes, get an extra inch and a half or something. I don't really know about this, have any height-lacking DJ's tried this out in the field? It's probably fine for initial approaches as they probably won't notice immediately, but does it say something about your comfort and confidence levels with who you are if you're going to that kind of effort? Feels clownish to me, but I guess I could just try it and see how it goes...
In sets with taller, bigger dudes, more emphasized body language seems necessary for controlling the frame. Tall people just generally pull focus with more ease, so it's not enough to match what they're putting out, you have to show more energy to draw the focus. Volume and emotive behavior are good, but any one can easily match it and interrupt, talk over, so the right gesturing and posture are super important for these larger sets that you don't outright physically dominate in basic presence.
An interesting part of being shorter is that anyone that is close to the same height (which is going to be the vast majority of girls) will have a much easier time noticing what your eyes are doing. Eye contact is more intense and also more important at this altitude. People don't naturally look down or at the ground, you relax your eyes at your height, so if a tall guy isn't looking at someone in the set, it's more natural than a shorter person who has to pretty intentionally avert his gaze to avoid looking at someone's face. A tall guy can look up during a conversation as if his face is resetting to the more relaxed state, but when a short guy looks away, it's requiring more effort instead of less to do so. So, never drop your eye contact unless you're allowed the distraction.
If sitting in a set, take up as much space as possible. Spread them legs, cross no limbs, and if you're resting your arms, only have one arm rested forward so you take up more space depth-wise. Sling the other one over the back of your chair or something, or just keep it hanging to the side. If standing in a set, don't let the tall dudes have any elbows in front of you. You already lack the mass to fill up as much of a girl's periphery as you can, so any amount someone is blocking will make you next to invisible. Establish your position early on in the set with as little distance from the person across from you as you can. Taller dudes will take advantage of any space you allow to push you into the beta spot of the circle, and it's not hard for them. So don't give 'em the space.
Also, in a standing set, don't stand right next to any of the tall people and give people the juxtaposition. If you're standing across, never lean in when talking to the tall dudes. They often will lean in and slightly bend over when you're speaking if across from you, which lowers their perceived dominance in the set while increasing yours.
Well, that's what I got. I'd love any more ideas as it's a tougher game.
FIRST, gotta work out. I've also got a hyper-metabolism, and the stuff in the fitness/diet thread's been good but it's just SUCH a long and somewhat expensive road, so I'm a couple months out from getting from 120 lbs up to a recommended 140 for my height. I'm still really fit, my body works great for me, got abs and strength and speed, but I think it puts off a girl in a huge maybe self conscious way when you're smaller than her in either dimension (width, length). She doesn't like thinking about her waist size being bigger than yours.
So, that'll help, but I'm impatient in the meantime. Savoy advises wearing tall shoes, get an extra inch and a half or something. I don't really know about this, have any height-lacking DJ's tried this out in the field? It's probably fine for initial approaches as they probably won't notice immediately, but does it say something about your comfort and confidence levels with who you are if you're going to that kind of effort? Feels clownish to me, but I guess I could just try it and see how it goes...
In sets with taller, bigger dudes, more emphasized body language seems necessary for controlling the frame. Tall people just generally pull focus with more ease, so it's not enough to match what they're putting out, you have to show more energy to draw the focus. Volume and emotive behavior are good, but any one can easily match it and interrupt, talk over, so the right gesturing and posture are super important for these larger sets that you don't outright physically dominate in basic presence.
An interesting part of being shorter is that anyone that is close to the same height (which is going to be the vast majority of girls) will have a much easier time noticing what your eyes are doing. Eye contact is more intense and also more important at this altitude. People don't naturally look down or at the ground, you relax your eyes at your height, so if a tall guy isn't looking at someone in the set, it's more natural than a shorter person who has to pretty intentionally avert his gaze to avoid looking at someone's face. A tall guy can look up during a conversation as if his face is resetting to the more relaxed state, but when a short guy looks away, it's requiring more effort instead of less to do so. So, never drop your eye contact unless you're allowed the distraction.
If sitting in a set, take up as much space as possible. Spread them legs, cross no limbs, and if you're resting your arms, only have one arm rested forward so you take up more space depth-wise. Sling the other one over the back of your chair or something, or just keep it hanging to the side. If standing in a set, don't let the tall dudes have any elbows in front of you. You already lack the mass to fill up as much of a girl's periphery as you can, so any amount someone is blocking will make you next to invisible. Establish your position early on in the set with as little distance from the person across from you as you can. Taller dudes will take advantage of any space you allow to push you into the beta spot of the circle, and it's not hard for them. So don't give 'em the space.
Also, in a standing set, don't stand right next to any of the tall people and give people the juxtaposition. If you're standing across, never lean in when talking to the tall dudes. They often will lean in and slightly bend over when you're speaking if across from you, which lowers their perceived dominance in the set while increasing yours.
Well, that's what I got. I'd love any more ideas as it's a tougher game.
Though everybody's got a shortcoming they hate about themselves, pun intended. Some guys have low IQs, some guys have small wangs, some guys have high-pitched voices, some guys chronically sweat, etc etc etc.