She's coming with a friend to our "blind" date, good or bad?

[The_Wolf]

She tells me (after a few weeks of light texting, I finally had time to call her [new job] and set something up). A few hours after we talk she texts me saying if its cool that I'll bring a friend and so will she. I asked her if she already has doubts and she said "hell no, I just wanna blow off some steams after hour final today."

I'm not gonna bring a friend.
She still asked me though if its OK that she brings one. So is that a good idea? or should I tell her not to bring? On one side, things could flow smoother with the friend, less awkwardness. But on the other...its gonna be hard to isolate her. (we "met" on the internet...and its the first time we're gonna see each other in person).


Thanks guys,

 

[Bonhomme]

Generally not a good sign, but she could just be concerned for her safety, meeting a stranger for the first time. Just play it cool, and roll with it.

I can't say I've ever had a situation in which I met up with someone and they brought a friend lead to anything, but then I haven't had any sort of blind date evolve into anything much, either. I've always met the gals I've ended up dating in person, and there was a comfort level established straight away.

 

[Sweep]

first of all, never ask a girl if she has doubts. Your state of mind needs to be that you are the greatest prize=why would she ever have doubts. Don't go putting a word like "doubt" into her vocabulary.

Definately don't tell her not to bring a friend, that's just sketchy and makes you sound presumptuous. I'm also not sure why you don't want to bring a friend yourself. You talk about the potential for isolation problems yet you voluntarily dismiss a wingman. BRING A WINGMAN FOR HER WINGIRL. SEX EVERYWHERE!!jk

 

[WesCottII]

Why didn't you just say it wasn't cool?

 

[MacDiddy]

Sweep pretty much echos what I was about to tell you...

Go along, don't expect too much.... you're not at an advantage, so you may as well write it of as learning experience unless you get lucky.

 

[comic_relief]

Last year at this time, I would have venhemently disagreed with this idea of having a friend go along with you on a date. Now, my ideas have changed because of one experience.

I was with my friend, "cindy" and her friend Sarah (current girlfriend). It wasn't a real date, but we ended up building an initial comfort zone by chilling out with each other for almost five hours. Then as weeks went by, we started to get closer and closer, but "cindy" would always be there. I just acted as if she wasn't there (alright, I didn't ignore her, but I made my moves with her right there). You know what? I got the girl and I currently have as my girlfriend.

A couple of thoughts though for your date. Your date is not about just her anymore. It is about both of them. Treat them exactly as you would a friend because all first dates for me are just boring and getting to know the person. Win the heart of the friend and you can easily win the target girls heart, plus you got a cheerleader.

I also have another note, "Cindy" found me so nice that she went out on all of our other dates to movies or such. I still made my moves (not making out or sex, but kissing or such) with her there. Make sure that you have an initial comfort zone there before you go in for the kiss.

NOTE: I have been seeing Sarah for almost three months, and I have never taken her out on an actual date. I plan to do that today. And we became girlfriend and boyfriend on Saturday.

comic_relief

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

And how will her bringing a friend benefit you?

 

[The_Wolf]

Thanks Comic.

Guys, I'm not bringing a friend b/c of distance issues, if I had a wingman close by I would bring one, its just too complicated on this short-notice. So chill off with the wingman crap.

I'll "let" her bring her friend, and we'll see how it goes. Thanks for the responses and I hope to update

 

[comic_relief]

And how will her bringing a friend benefit you?

If you can get the friend to like you, then more than half the game is already won, Francisco. You know as well as I do that women are much more social creatures than I. Women care about what there friends thinks.

What if you already got the green light from the friend? Wouldn't that make the game a lot easier. If you can play it correctly, wouldn't this make it easier on both of you.

I got the green light from the friend and that in turn got me the green light on her. Made my life a helluva lot easier.

Just be careful, most people are unable to pull this off. Personally, I know my social skills are top notch so I can accomplish this very easily.

comic_relief

 

[Desdinova]

A few hours after we talk she texts me saying if its cool that I'll bring a friend and so will she.

So YOU initiated the idea of bringing a friend. NEVER bring a friend with you to a first date, likewise with her. This isn't a fvcking social outing, it's a date. You are trying to establish a sexual relationship with her. Bringing friends on a date will provide distractions and will produce a "friendly" environment, and will make you a better candidate for the "friend zone".

You might want to try re-scheduling the date without any friends involved.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

If you can get the friend to like you, then more than half the game is already won, Francisco. You know as well as I do that women are much more social creatures than I. Women care about what there friends thinks.

This is true but typically after the very first meeting.

What if you already got the green light from the friend? Wouldn't that make the game a lot easier. If you can play it correctly, wouldn't this make it easier on both of you.

True, but do you really want to establish something with a woman who's easily influenced by her friends? Think about it....

I got the green light from the friend and that in turn got me the green light on her. Made my life a helluva lot easier.

So what would have happened if her girlfriend was cooler and more your type. Would you have switched ships?

 

[comic_relief]

A.) True, but do you really want to establish something with a woman who's easily influenced by her friends? Think about it....

B.) So what would have happened if her girlfriend was cooler and more your type. Would you have switched ships?

A.) That is also very true. I suppose I would not like to do that because if something were to go sour within the relationship, than it would be easy to turn her to a rather bad decision, but in the same respect to that question.

What if she wouldn't listen to her friends who said that she should get out of a relationship because of his abuse or rape? I believe that it is on opposite ends of the spectrum, but wouldn't it be true that we would rather have girls that listen some of the times, but makes her own decisions based on her own thoughts and ideas? Just some food for thought, Francisco.

B.) Would I? I do not know, but as I said in a previous post in the DJ Discussion forum when I first take a girl out or meet them, I do not ask myself if they are attractive. I ask myself, "Is this girl fun to hang out with?" If they are boring to me, than I will not go out with them. They need a personality in order for me to EVEN consider them dating material. That is what I do with the first date. I get to know them better to see if they are truely worth my time, energy, and possible money.

Usually, when I go on a date or whatever it is, I will treat anyone that is there as a potential friend/lover. To me, female friends and female relationships can be treated the same way unless otherwise stated. That means that my female friends will get flirted with ALOT. Even if they are UGs I will treat them the same. Is it not a DJ principle to treat all girls the same set down by Anti-Dumps amazing rules? I know that I do, even if I do not want to go out with them. It is more real and plus it is fun for me to do so.

comic_relief

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Usually, when I go on a date or whatever it is, I will treat anyone that is there as a potential friend/lover. ...

Very good mindset.

 

[squirrels]

Hit on her friend. That'll learn her.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Hit on her friend. That'll learn her.

I'd do it.

 

[ScrewIt]

let her bring her friend. I've been on so called 'dates' with girls that brought a friend. To be honest, some girls are insecure and dont have the balls to go on a date alone initially. And it does help make things easier if they have a friend with them.

If a girl likes you, it doesnt matter if she brings her friend or if you bring you friend. Or if you missed a kiss on the first date. Every girl is different and some like to take it slow and safe and get to know a guy before anything happens. :trouble:

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

let her bring her friend. I've been on so called 'dates' with girls that brought a friend. To be honest, some girls are insecure and dont have the balls to go on a date alone initially. And it does help make things easier if they have a friend with them...

Isn't there another thread about the perils of hooking up with insecure women?

 

[penkitten]

Isn't there another thread about the perils of hooking up with insecure women?

or 1200?

 

[DJStrawberry]

personally...i love this situation..the only guy with 2 girls. It can make for a great night filled with flirtation, jealousy, and full on pimpery. What are you three going to be doing on your night out? I have had many experiences with this situation and as comic_relief has already stated, it is all about winning over the friend. If you are fun to be around and keep the night rollin with solid pimpology, you might be getting 2 girls wanting you by the end of the night. I have had girlfriends get into fights over me and ruin friendships after situations like this and it is so much fun.

You should flirt with your date's friend but do it slyly and smoothly. If you do it wrong, you will look very bad. Double the kino and flirtation. If you do it correctly, the friend will be loving you and your blind date will be throwing herself at you due to her jealousy. You will show that you got value and are the big prize plus the girls will be in the heat of their own competition trying to win you over. It's also great being out and about with 2 girls hovering over you. You will get the eye ****s all night from every other woman around trying to figure out who that player with the 2 hotties is. If you are out, the girls will undoubtedly take bathroom breaks together and you will have moments alone. Strike up conversations with other women around and show your 2 dates that you are not only the man to them, but to everyone else around.

The friend is a great tool to use if you feel like your blind date is freezing you out. If she acts weird or is showing Low interest, give her friend the attention. You will see that your date will gain interest when she sees you and her friend laughing and joking and flirting. She will start showing more interest, but go back and forth to keep both of them guessing and wanting your attention.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

or 1200?

Whoops, I missed a couple in my count...