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She said she would call but didn't
- Thread starter Cancerian
- Start date
Please as well one last tip refrain from building a relationship towards her Answering machine.Cancerian said:
you either speak to her direct or, leave ONE message about her getting back to you and THAT IS IT.
Do not make the mistake of wondering if she got the message or not, you could end up thinking all sorts of wierd sh** like did the message get deleted, was there a freak thunderstorm and blew out the electrics.
just accept she got the message as the chances of her not getting it are slim unless you like to use realms of fantasy as your guide. (as well as considering other factors of what i would say not peeked intrest lvl on her part).
Leave one message then give her a chance to get back, if she does not!
Then the next time you phone if she does not pick up then i suggest you HANG UP i am sure she can see your number.
Ask her out again on one date then back off, i dont have anything else to add on this really.
Also IOI are great it shows she maybe intrested, but there idicators of intrest, read interest she has interest but that can quickly fade.
Dont become a tedium and a bore to her going over the same techniques and get nothing back this is classed has pest behavoiur, C+F is fine in the realms of a girl is intrested but i belive in over-kill too much and too often to try to impress can have a negative effect.
Anyway i think this women as been good practice material, i think if you channelled this into other persuits, i.e better women more suited for you, you would see much more positive outcomes. Try not to drag this out to the negative and mess up the state your now in.
You have done alot of right things and alot of wrong ones, from the recent post. I think you should simply step back and reflect what you have done right and work on that and try to remove the wrong for the next time.
I will say this women was in some form percieved by you as an easy target, so a good practice in working your charm on a women.
An easy target or comfort at the lvl where you are now, i would challange you to pick yourself up and push through the boundries of easy targets and use what you know as a bases to game women of better quality for you, rather then simply going with the easy options and trying for a result, which i believe is the core bases of the whole interaction.
i can see waiting one day or two would make little difference, now waiting a week or two could have very positive results, but i expect you cant restrain your-self that long.
Also posting you are unsure if you want a LTR says to me you want a LTR, unsure is a very big cop out of a word to use especcially in this context.
Look i dont know why this women as got you in this state your a young guy, she is old, two kids, this is enough in it-self, what ever that factuation! Would you not be more focused on some hot broad with no kids who can be a good mother to your two kids, without you collecting a a whole new set of other mans gentic pool?
Think about it, what if you want more kids.
What about in 5 years time when she is totally past her best.
What about your sex drives.
And what if her kids and your kids dont get on.
What if you dont get on with her kids?
Just some of many many reasons to focus on a women more sutied to your world now then some older women who is better suited for a guy in her age bracket.
Thats why I kept it short. We were talking today and I said in a slightly C+F tone "I left a VM this time." She smiled and said "I know, I was driving and couldn't answer. When I got to my house there was chaos (her kids) so I didn't talk to anybody last night. I was sitting there thinking he's going to think I don't want to talk to him." I replied with the same C+F tone "I'm beginning to wonder!" At which point we smiled at each other and I walked off. Maybe that was a bit AFC, but at this point I am not counting on anything happening with her, yet I'm not ready to give up just yet.jonwon said:
Thats the plan, with possibly attempting again down the road.
I backed off a bit with the normal C+F today. Things are hectic at work with 2007 preparations right now, and some co-workers are stressed, including her.
I think so too, and I have applied many things to other women (such as the younger one who gave me her #, even though she has a BF, and I'll be all over her like rainwater if they split up!). If I sense ANY negativity though, I will back off.
Thank you for your insight. I am surprised at the amount of right things I have been able to do, considering the 8 year sh1tty marriage and the 2 year celibacy (which is technically still in effect until I bed a chick!).
She seemed "easy" because of what I perceived to be IOIs (before I discovered this site). SHe was always qualifying herself to me as well. For example:
Co-Worker: Cancerian is 5' 6"!
Her: I'm only 5' 7"!
Me: *just smiles*
Her: *gets off of the phone with her ex during break, after a major argument concerning their kids, and is very distraught* "That mvther-fvcking c0ck-svcker!!!" (I love chicks that swear, I don't know why!)
Me: *walks in front of her on my way to the car, looks at her and says "_____, it'll be alright."
Her: *regains composure and tone changes* "I know Cancerian".
Her: *as I'm walking away* "Cancerian probably thinks I'm a psycho!"
Me: *looking back towards her* "Nah, reminds me of convos with my ex!"
There are other times as well.
I can wait. I'll have my kids this weekend anyway (unless I take them to the ex), and won't be able to go out until 11pm+ on Friday, and/or 10pm+ on Saturday. I'll see if anything changes with her, but it is already Wednesday. I might casually ask her what she's got planned for the weekend, negging her slightly for staying home on New Year's Eve.
I'm not sure what I want, but it hasn't stopped me from flirting and kino on other chicks.
I find this woman to be very attractive, with a fiery personality and a lot of inner strength. Qualities that I find to be sexy as h3ll. I flirt with other chicks, but they don't compare, though I am always on the lookout. Very soon, she'll only have one child living with her. I'm also not planning on living with her or any other woman, as it will be a LONG time before I'm ready for that!
UPDATE:
Lol, I will surprised if anything happens with this woman. I found out today that she is a "sunshine girl", and loves the attention she gets but will not likely reciprocate. She is giving me mixed signals and stalling to make herself feel better. She is also "talking" to a couple of other guys (though I'm surprisingly not the least bit jealous). Unfortunately for her, I have been anticipating this over the past couple of days. My co-worker (who tells me that she doesn't want to see me get "hurt") told some things that this woman told her. So its NEXT HER time, though I'm looking for advice on how to turn the tables here. I explained to my co-worker that I figured this was what was going on, and that I have been using this woman to improve my game, and that I am not surprised that this woman is playing games of her own. Things have changed a bit, and I won't be leaving the job for a little while longer.
I'm thinking that I should completely back off, though nothing can seem like my co-worker told me anything. Maybe flirt slightly, but cut back until I ignore her, or just outright ignore her? Either way, I must say that its been fun.
I'll be back later, my wingman and I are going out.
Lol, I will surprised if anything happens with this woman. I found out today that she is a "sunshine girl", and loves the attention she gets but will not likely reciprocate. She is giving me mixed signals and stalling to make herself feel better. She is also "talking" to a couple of other guys (though I'm surprisingly not the least bit jealous). Unfortunately for her, I have been anticipating this over the past couple of days. My co-worker (who tells me that she doesn't want to see me get "hurt") told some things that this woman told her. So its NEXT HER time, though I'm looking for advice on how to turn the tables here. I explained to my co-worker that I figured this was what was going on, and that I have been using this woman to improve my game, and that I am not surprised that this woman is playing games of her own. Things have changed a bit, and I won't be leaving the job for a little while longer.
I'm thinking that I should completely back off, though nothing can seem like my co-worker told me anything. Maybe flirt slightly, but cut back until I ignore her, or just outright ignore her? Either way, I must say that its been fun.
I'll be back later, my wingman and I are going out.
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hmmmmm
If a girl tells you "I'll call you" or "I'll text you"
Next her... Period... She isn't that interested...
In my AFC days I caught onto that the first time it happened.
The 2nd time another girl tried to pull the same ****...
"I'll call you..." I said, "Don't stress it too bad."
Sure enough the ***** didn't call me.
2nd... Dating someone you work with is a bad idea...
If I ask a girl out and she turns me down, I let her ask me out next.
For example is she was really that interested she'd let you know what days she was free after saying she was busy...
I might be wrong but from what I can tell Cancerian... You are stressing this girl way way too much. She is bound to pick up on it.
Lastly... The whole voice mail thing...
I NEVER LEAVE VOICE MAILS! PERIOD!
How quickly she returns my call lets me know much she is interested.
For example, "Saw you called, I just got off work, What's up!?"
If a girl tells you "I'll call you" or "I'll text you"
Next her... Period... She isn't that interested...
In my AFC days I caught onto that the first time it happened.
The 2nd time another girl tried to pull the same ****...
"I'll call you..." I said, "Don't stress it too bad."
Sure enough the ***** didn't call me.
2nd... Dating someone you work with is a bad idea...
If I ask a girl out and she turns me down, I let her ask me out next.
For example is she was really that interested she'd let you know what days she was free after saying she was busy...
I might be wrong but from what I can tell Cancerian... You are stressing this girl way way too much. She is bound to pick up on it.
Lastly... The whole voice mail thing...
I NEVER LEAVE VOICE MAILS! PERIOD!
How quickly she returns my call lets me know much she is interested.
For example, "Saw you called, I just got off work, What's up!?"
I'm not really stressing it too much. She is NEXTed. As far as how I'm going to act around her, I think that I'm just going to say hi with a smile like I do with everyone in the morning, and not talk to her very much unless it is job related. I won't bring up anything about going out or anything of the sort, and act like I never asked her out. She had her chance, she blew it.Scorched said:
Now I can focus more energy on other women. Flirting with and asking this woman out was a good learning experience for me.
You shouldn't be hitting on girls at work to begin with. All she would have to do to mess up your job status is yell "sexual harrassment" and then sue the company and take a leave of absense due to job stress.
You also harrassed her by calling her 3 times? Maybe she is trying to avoid messing up her work situation due to some guys work related crush.
If she was interested in talking to you she would of voice called you. Text message was her way of putting you into a box. The work/friend box.
If I were you I would tred very carefully. I am a manager at a film company and I see this kind of stupid activity all the time.
Don't take this the wrong way. Alot of girls will smile at a guy not knowing that he is desperate and lonely at work and cause this type of BIG mistake. That poor guy thinking she is interested gets sucked into these type of situations that never end pleasantly.
All she did was smile in hopes of creating a good work relationship. She had no idea that your on one of these seduction boards and is missreading her attempt at friendship.
I also notice your screen name denotes that your a cancer. Which explains alot.
You also harrassed her by calling her 3 times? Maybe she is trying to avoid messing up her work situation due to some guys work related crush.
If she was interested in talking to you she would of voice called you. Text message was her way of putting you into a box. The work/friend box.
If I were you I would tred very carefully. I am a manager at a film company and I see this kind of stupid activity all the time.
Don't take this the wrong way. Alot of girls will smile at a guy not knowing that he is desperate and lonely at work and cause this type of BIG mistake. That poor guy thinking she is interested gets sucked into these type of situations that never end pleasantly.
All she did was smile in hopes of creating a good work relationship. She had no idea that your on one of these seduction boards and is missreading her attempt at friendship.
I also notice your screen name denotes that your a cancer. Which explains alot.
I didn't hit on her, I just asked her out.CraigMack said:
She told me to call her the one time, I called once out of the blue, and told her I'd give her a call the third time. Now, I'm not going to call her at all.
Yes, she did this PLUS is flirting with me and giving mixed signals because she craves the attention that she is no longer going to get from me.
Thank you for the advice, but I'm honestly not worried about it.
She and I started flirting before I found this forum. Looking back, she was giving attention-getting IOIs since the beginning.
No doubt!