She has gone back to her ex, but still wants me!

[reckless]

Sorry if this has already been posted about..

I work with a fine girl (25yrs old, I am 22) who broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years about 6 months ago (he broke up with her).
About a month ago we got together and it went pretty well, didn't have sex but pretty close.
Well, now he wants her back and she has decided to "give it one more try" which I kind of understand. The problem is she still likes me but wants us to "be friends". She has said that he doesnt like me cos I have a chance with her - I'm wondering if he came back on the scene cos he suddenly realised that he wasnt the only one that could have her.
It wasnt an easy decision for her, crying about it,etc.....

My question is - how do i get her to realise that he will just **** her around or how do i get out of this friends ****.

She even told me the other day i was making her horny - she is confused, but what can i do? Do I ignore her totally which will be pretty hard and lose her friendship, or keep up the innuendo,etc in hope that she may come back???

thanks

 

[Anti-Dump]

The only thing you are 'reckless' about is your manly pride.

You have been DUMPED and you don't see it!

Originally posted by reckless:

now he wants her back and
she has decided to "give it one more try"

That, my friend is a DUMP. You are out of her ROMANTIC life forever. When a woman 'goes back
to her boyfriend' she has decided you are not for her. She has 'tasted' your flavor and has LOW interest romantically for you.

It's LOW. She could come back but she will BREAK UP with you again. Because romantically it's low.

which I kind of understand.

Only confused, clueless, no balls nice guys understand
a girl dumping him and going back with an EX.

You came to the right place.
We'll make a Don Juan out of you yet.

The problem is she still likes me but wants us to "be friends".

Yea, she likes you 'a little'. Not good enough for a Don Juan. She has to be crazy about you. She has to want to marry you.
In short she has to have HIGH interest.

I'm wondering if he came back on the scene cos he suddenly realised that he wasnt the only one that could have her.

Doesn't matter. When she said 'I have decided to go back' she revealed her LOW interest in you.

It wasnt an easy decision for her, crying about it,etc.....

This is where the nice guys TOTALLY FAIL . It was EASY for her to dump you. She has 10 times the romantic feelings for her EX than you. That was easy.

The hard part was HURTING YOU.
She knows she cares little for you. She knows she started someting she can never finish. She didn't 'cry' for you. She is not 'torn' between you and the EX.

She cried because she is DUMPING YOU!

You nice guys need a lot of work.
Remember, I used to be in your shoes.

My question is - how do i get her to realise that he will just **** her around

Why do you care? She will never be your girlfriend. Once a women leaves you, you are OUT romantically forever. No chance.

or how do i get out of this friends ****.

Impossible. It's over friend. She is giving you false hope. Remember, she will dump you AGAIN if you get back. Because of the low interest.

She even told me the other day i was making her horny

She is horny because her EX isn't around to please her. IF she wanted it from you, she would have ripped your clothes off.
Six months is a longtime to wait.
Yet she didn't ask you to bang her. Very bad sign.

- she is confused, but what can i do?

SHE IS NOT CONFUSED! Nice guys got it all wrong. She wants her EX and not you. That is confused?
Not!

Do I ignore her totally which will be pretty hard and lose her friendship,
or keep up the innuendo,etc in hope that she may come back???

Turn her into a friend. But get out there and start asking for numbers. Don't let her give you false hope again. Don't get sucked back in.

Date others.

AD

 

[Dee-Zy]

Sorry Dawg! Your stuck in the "MTEFZ"(More The Evil Friendship Zone)

No matter what happends, She just wan't you as a "Friend".

I think she's just f#ckin around wit yo mind so she can get attention, think about it. If she tells YOU, YOU make HER horny, wouldn't you wanna stick around and get sum? Of course. I don't know every details, but I think she's using you. If she wuz REALLY interested in you, she would of told her Ex to F#ck Off and she would of F#ck the hell out of you!

I'm Ghost
Peace Out
DZ

------------------
AZN THUGZ NEVER DIE!!! AZN THUGZ 4EVA ALIVE!!
Prepare yoself fer the KayZeez y'all!!!

 

[Anti-Dump]

Originally posted by Dee-Zy:

If she wuz REALLY interested in you, she would of told her Ex to F#ck Off

Excellent post Dee-Zy. Even at your age (16?) you see that.
It took me years and years to really see that. Keep up the fine Don Juan work.

AD

 

[Ralfus]

Originally posted by reckless:

My question is - how do i get her to realise that he will just **** her around or how do i get out of this friends ****.

Don't be the shoulder to cry on when she comes back pissin' an moanin' about how her "ex" did her wrong!!! Sh!t, you have enough things to worry about then her stupidity!Bottom line:....Don't date losers!

Ralfus

------------------
"I tried to think,But nothing happened!"- Curly Howard

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by Ralfus:

Sh!t, you have enough things to worry about then her stupidity!Bottom line:....Don't date losers!

Ralfus

Niiiiice,
That's good, and It's F#ckin true!!!
We DO have sh!ts on our mind, why would we wanna know other's crap???

2 thumbs up Ralfus!

Thanks AD, that's thanks to all the post on the board, this board helped me like H-E-L-L
Say did you read my friend's post in the tip section???

I'm Ghost
Peace Out
DZ


------------------
AZN THUGZ NEVER DIE!!! AZN THUGZ 4EVA ALIVE!!
Prepare yoself fer the KayZeez y'all!!!

 

[TestosteroneBoy]

In my humble opinion, best thing to do will be to never see her again.

It may hurt for a little while, but in the long run(like 2-3 months) it will be better.

If you stay "just friends" instead of getting the hell out of there, she will continue to use you for some kinda emotional bulletin board. You don't want to hear all that garbage do you? And when she is telling you about how her ex dumped her and you start thinking "Alright! i might have my shot" and you spend all this money and time on her again, what will happen when she starts telling you about this "new guy" she just met. Thinking that your attention was because you are "just friends".

I have went through this, i stayed "just friends" with some chick after she showed low interest. I eventually dropped out of highschool to go to college early. best thing i ever did. I got away from that hoe, didn't see her for like 6 months. When i saw her again I tried a conversation but had no interest whatsoever. She was boring and looked pretty horrid.

You never know, when you take some time to reflect on it you might find out she is a ho.

 

[reckless]

thanks for all the advice, but i honestly think you guys have the wrong end of the stick here.

she DOES want me, dont tell me about this low interest because it just isnt true. i have listened to this board before about 6 months ago and did exactly the opposite of what everyone said and i ended up being right. its hard to see from your end, but thanks anyway

 

[Surfboard]

Wow! Your user name fits you perfectly. Anyway, it looks like your mind is already made up. I think the girl is just stringing you along to make her ex jealous. Oh, it looks like it worked. Hopefully, these replies will be in the back of your mind when she gets dumped again and comes back looking for you.

 

[Adonis]

Yep, you have no chance with her but she still want to use you as a f@ck toy. Do you want this?!? If I was her BF, I would've dumped that girl in a heartbeat. If you allow this you are letting her spoiled a@@ get her way. Ask yourself this: Do I want to be used or do I want to be with somebody better? Leave her to be her BF's problem, not yours.

Personally, I would use her for sex and date other people. But, that's up to you - I'm not as nice as you are - I retaliate to B.S. such as that. She wants to use me? I'll use her - that's just my attitude. I don't think you can handle doing this so I recommend just letting it go, it takes more courage and guts to do that anyway.

 

[Anti-Dump]

Originally posted by reckless:


its hard to see from your end,but thanks anyway

The only thing we see from our end is you laying at the bottom of a SHAFT that she pushed you down!

You got lucky six months ago. This time you are dead meat. Six DJ's CANNOT be wrong.

AD

 

[Anti-Dump]

Originally posted by Surfboard:



I think the girl is just stringing you along to make her ex jealous.

I think Surfboard had the best answer.

I think that is what's REALLY happening.

Great reply Surfboard.

AD

 

[NEANDERTHAL SUPERSOLDIER]

bump

 

[lordclem*]

reckess, i bid u to keep coming here anyway hopefully when ur eyes open,u will know what do,from the stuff u read here.
oh yeah please keep us updated (we could use some laffs)

good luck

 

[SoSuave.com]

bump

 

[Zephyrus]

Man, it appears I’m not alone... Reckless, dude... these guys are right, you will just keep telling yourself that there's a chance even though there isn’t. Deep down you will realize, nothing is going to happen. This may take time… I’ve learned that they call this denial.

She will USE you for attention, and she will continue to USE you. You will just be friends, yet she will still flirt with you and talk with you differently then she may talk to other guys, and give you every indication that something might happen, it won't!

That'll be your downfall... but it will also be what wakes you up, misery will be riding with you all the way, and she’s a real b*tch.

I know. I took that ride; every situation is different… yet they are the same. The things you have mentioned are exactly the same things that I went through. Finally I decided to go to Ganji Tactics, nothing else was working and I wanted her. The girl had me a wreck. I still haven’t heard from her, which is cool, it just showed me exactly what the guys are trying to tell you, MOVE ON. She is done with you romantically.

There are so many girls out there that are dying to meet you… why would you want to waste your time on one who chooses to be with someone else. No matter what she says that’s just what she’s doing. She’s choosing someone else. It’s over for you.

Sad but True

 

[darwinian_sympathiser]

I keep on telling you people, you can only choose those that choose you. It's really unfortunate that you sometimes meet someone who "seems" to show all the signs but they don't seem to be interested enough. So why the f*ck bother with them?

I'll tell you why, it's because you become besotted and you delude yourself into thinking that you just might pull it off, that she might turn round and give you what you want. Does it usually happen? Probably not - but there's always that thought of a chance that you hold onto. And why do you do this? Well it's simple, it's the reason that holds two people together in a relationship.

Like the electromagnetic force that attracts opposite charges, there is always some kind of invisible bond that unites a couple. Unfortunately, all because you want to form a bond with someone does not necessarily mean that they want to form a bond with you.
If everyone were honest with themselves they would admit that they probably don't really know why they find someone attractive, or decide that this person is "the one". But for many happy cases there are at least a dozen disasters and forlorn heartbreaks. Such is nature and life.

Women are well known for being fickle, manipulative and attention seeking. By cutting this b*tch out of your life you simply don't give her any power at all.

 

[MVPlaya]

Originally posted by Zephyrus
Man, it appears I’m not alone... Reckless, dude... these guys are right, you will just keep telling yourself that there's a chance even though there isn’t. Deep down you will realize, nothing is going to happen. This may take time… I’ve learned that they call this denial.

She will USE you for attention, and she will continue to USE you. You will just be friends, yet she will still flirt with you and talk with you differently then she may talk to other guys, and give you every indication that something might happen, it won't!

That'll be your downfall... but it will also be what wakes you up, misery will be riding with you all the way, and she’s a real b*tch.

I know. I took that ride; every situation is different… yet they are the same. The things you have mentioned are exactly the same things that I went through. Finally I decided to go to Ganji Tactics, nothing else was working and I wanted her. The girl had me a wreck. I still haven’t heard from her, which is cool, it just showed me exactly what the guys are trying to tell you, MOVE ON. She is done with you romantically.

There are so many girls out there that are dying to meet you… why would you want to waste your time on one who chooses to be with someone else. No matter what she says that’s just what she’s doing. She’s choosing someone else. It’s over for you.

Sad but True

Zephyrus, check out the date on his post: 09-10-2000

IT WAS WRITTEN ON September 9th, 2000. Your advice warning him about the future was October 31, 2003. This post is 3 years old, I'm sure he figured it out about 36 months ago...

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by MVPlaya
Zephyrus, check out the date on his post: 09-10-2000

IT WAS WRITTEN ON September 9th, 2000. Your advice warning him about the future was October 31, 2003. This post is 3 years old, I'm sure he figured it out about 36 months ago...

yeah, but the advice to someone in a similar situation is still what counts. i say reply like it is still current, because for someone, it is.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by MVPlaya
Zephyrus, check out the date on his post: 09-10-2000

IT WAS WRITTEN ON September 9th, 2000. Your advice warning him about the future was October 31, 2003. This post is 3 years old, I'm sure he figured it out about 36 months ago...

Lol! That was funny!