She has doubts. Next? Indifference? No contact?

[Lateralus]

What if a girl I'm in a new relationship with tells me in person she has doubts? I know, I f8cked some things up coming off as jealous and insecure a couple of times, so that's what's blew it. She said she wants it to work again, but she doubts that it's realistic right now and wanted to hear my views on the situation. "I just don't know," she said about the future of this relationship. I reacted calmy and told her that I simply don't have a role in this play when she "doesn't know". Nothing more, nothing less. She still wanted to touch, cuddle and kiss though.

That evening she picked up a fight with me when she thought I was angry about everything but didn't want to admit it. I reacted cold and distant. She even threatened to walk away and I said: "Go ahead". Of course she didn't after knocking on my door after walking out 3 times and instead of that, after calling be the biggest ******* ever, she landed in my bed (no sex, she's on her period). The only thing I did was reacting cold, distant, calming her down and giving a hug and just don't give a f*ck.

She texted me day the after and I answered after like 6 hours. She texted again and I answered it today with a very short answer.

I do not expect to get her back, but I don't expect her to initiate the dumping either.

What happened yesterday made me distant instantly. What should I do? Be indifferent? Next her? Or go No Contact from now on?

 

[Lateralus]

In addition:

In bed she cuddles en kissed me and said things like: "You are so muscular, a little bit too much for your stature, I'm affraid that you might become too muscular and it will be out of proportion, don't you think? Just promise me to not bulk up any further."

When in the fight she said: "I really fell like punching you in the face right now!" And afterwards she said: "I would never, ever hit you. Only maybe if you cheat on me, and even then I think I won't do it."

What should I think of these remarks?

 

[PlayHer Man]

Once you go beta faggot its over. Sorry.

Keep in mind that most women like to end relationships in a smooth way. So they often do the "fade away" where they gradually starve the relationship until you are "just friends" or you leave on your own. Unless of course she starts dating a new guy. Some women will string an ex alone even after she started f*cking someone new.

Bottomline --> Its over.

To keep the power in a relationship you have to care less than the girl. For every sh!t she doesn't give, you don't give 10 sh!ts. If you care and she doesn't give a sh!t.. then she is in control and you are a beta faggot. Simple as that.

Once you lose power in a relationship its over unless you want to be her lap dog until she finds someone else. But there is no turning it around. Once she sees you as a beta faggot, nothing will reverse this.

Most men act like wimpy emotional girls in their relationships and that's why they lose their women.

 

[Lexington]

Your odds of salvaging this relationship are less than 50% Proceed under the assumption that it's over. Keep being distant and (as always) keep spinning plates. She might perceive higher value in you and come back, but she definitely has one foot out the door.

 

[Lateralus]

Thanks! So the bottomline is that I assume it's over. Period.

 

[ronniel]

Break up with her first. This is your only hope.
Don't let her just fade, arrange a meeting and tell her off. Calmly say that this does not work for YOU, wish her well and leave.

Then, if she tries to contact, be polite but indifferent. Let her chase you.

 

[Lateralus]

Yes, it's over anyway. That's what the other posters said. It will give me rest and a key moment to move on.

 

[ronniel]

Yes, it's over now. But you will feel much better if you end it yourself. And it will dramatically increase your chances to take her back as a FB if you wish.

Just break up with her.

 

[sodbuster]

Tell her this hot and cold, leaving and staying, etc. is just too much drama for me to want to deal with you. we are done. SHE comes back with less drama...or she doesn't

 

[Lateralus]

If we break up, I will go no contact. Should I delete facebook after the break-up?

 

[Slickster]

I don't think this relationship is over.

Women love the hot and cold routine as it provides the drama they need.

It sounds like you did a good job flipping the script after your bout of insecurity. Putting the entire relationship on the line with that "Go ahead" comment was perfect.

I wouldn't be surprised if she is feeling more attraction towards you now. Hence the comments about cheating and getting more bulky. Also all the touchy feely stuff indicates clinginess. She may have competition anxiety forming.

If you truly don't care then it doesn't matter what you do. Walk away, no contact, indifference, the result means nothing. If she's still initiating contact though, she is showing interest. If you make her "work" to slowly get you back, I'm guessing you might be able to have some great make up sex.

 

[Lateralus]

That's an interesting advice. I have nothing to lose, so I have to give it a try. She called me yesterday night. I told her about my thoughts about our contact and that it may be better to break it right now, and instantly she replied with an angry reaction: "Then I rather brek up. I really don't care." I said: "fine and hung up". Later on I said it is not my purpose to break up. I pointed out that after what happened sunday I think ignoring her is not a right thing to do, but that I'm not very enthousiastic right now to have contact either and act like nothing happened. She wants to talk again, so we have a short meeting tomorrow. Any tips how to do this?

 

[ronniel]

Mistake. You backed up too easily.
Don't meet her. Say that you need space for yourself and you will contact her when you feel ready.

Make her chase you.

 

[Lateralus]

We already arranged the meeting. Should I just cancel it then? And telling her to cancel it is kind of strange unstable behaviour dont you think?

 

[SecondHalf]

Use this as an educational experiment. Figure out a few things as you already have. Regardless of what happens, don't let this woman get her foot in the door. Your life will be one of endless drama, games and manipulation.

SH

 

[ronniel]

Yes, cancel it calmly and politely. Say YOU need some space

 

[Lateralus]

Yes, that is a great mindset. I will cancel it tomorrow like 5 hours before it takes place. I will just say I don't feel like meeting her right now or something like that.

 

[ronniel]

No. You will say that there is no point in meeting right now. You need some space to think things out and blame HER for this. Say that her behavior made YOU doubt the relationship.

Do it

 

[ronniel]

Flip the script. Use what she has used against you, against her.

 

[Lateralus]

This flipping the script and telling her *I* doubt the relationship because of her behavior, isn't that a little too clear for her that I'm mirroring her?