She can't hang out until "probably" next week

dmvdav

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And I know what that implies.
She says she can't hang out until "probably next week" because her friend is coming to visit her. Her and I were just getting things started, but everything was going really good. I feel like she's now saying she isn't interested, but at the same time she really could just be having doubts about me. I may have played too hard. I also realize she may want to not be tied down so she can go slvt it up with her friend.

I know the obvious signs are pointing to "loss of interest."
But I'm wondering, would it be a good move to try and set something up with her and her friend to show her that I'm not just trying to fvck and like hanging out as well? Thursday night is a party night in a college town close to us. I can see if they want to hang out there or something.
How would you handle this?

I know enough to recognize the lack of interest on her part, and I know that there isn't much point questioning why her interest has gone down, but I do think she is worried that I plan on fvcking and dumping her more than anything else. I believe that if I take her out with her friend I could ease that doubt, especially if I charmed her friend too.

Do I back off completely and wait for her to text me or could I try something else?
 

Maximus Rex

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The Celebrity Theory

dmvdav said:
She says she can't hang out until "probably next week" because her friend is coming to visit her.
Do you think if "enter the name of "A List celebrity," wanted to hang out, she "probably," wouldn't be able to hang out because her "friend was coming to visit," she wouldn't be able to out with him?

dmvdav said:
How would you handle this?
dmvdav said:
Do I back off completely
^^^^^, this
 

dmvdav

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Maximus Rex said:
Do you think if "enter the name of "A List celebrity," wanted to hang out, she "probably," wouldn't be able to hang out because her "friend was coming to visit," she wouldn't be able to out with him?
Yea, I understand that. I realize how common this situation is. It happened to me once before with another girl, I texted her "no worries" and then we hooked up weekly for five months after.

I asked because I respect the game enough to want to play it right. I understand why it's a good option to back off and wait for her to respond, but I may be right in thinking that she just needs a little bit more attention from me to feel comfortable. Idk.
 

Harry Wilmington

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Problem #1: The fact that the word "hang out" is included in this post means you probably didn't ask her on a proper date. Women will put off "hanging out" with a guy because "hanging out" doesn't imply to them that you're trying to DATE her.

Problem #2: You're worrying/obsessing about this too soon. If you asked her out and she said she's got other stuff to do, fine - wait a week then ask her out again. If she gives you the same excuse next week, THEN you can start wondering about her interest in you - but not off just one "probably next week."

Problem #3: STOP TRYING TO PROVE TO HER YOU'RE NOT USING HER FOR SEX. If she feels that way she'll bring it up - but unless she does, do NOT assume it's an actual issue with you and her.

Problem #4: You have all these thoughts about "she probably feels this way" or "she probably thinks this about me." STOP IT. You are over-analyzing everything and it's causing you to freak out, which is going to result in you doing things to make her lose interest (like, for example, trying to invite her AND her guy friend to hang out with you). Be patient, be confident, be a MAN. Assume she's only interested in you until she starts giving proof that she's not. So far, aside from a "probably next week" hang out offer, she hasn't really given enough evidence to suggest she's losing interest in you or will let this other guy bone her. BUT, if you start bringing it up, it may eventually happen.

In short: you're worrying over nothing (for now) so just CHILL THE HECK OUT and wait to ask her out next week. Hope this helps!
 

dmvdav

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Harry Wilmington said:
Problem #1: The fact that the word "hang out" is included in this post means you probably didn't ask her on a proper date. Women will put off "hanging out" with a guy because "hanging out" doesn't imply to them that you're trying to DATE her.
Can you give some examples on this? I always say "hang out" or "getting together" with the girls I date. Sometimes I'll just say "you are mine thursday night" which is better, but I would like some ideas about other things to say.

If she gives you the same excuse next week, THEN you can start wondering about her interest in you - but not off just one "probably next week."
Makes sense. I have to just chillll, which I already knew...

like, for example, trying to invite her AND her guy friend to hang out with you
Her friend is a girl. I wouldn't even consider it if it was a guy.
I'm not sure that changes much in your post, but it's definitely worth mentioning.
 
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