She called me cheap and "too aggressive"!

[Broham]

Here's a little convo I just had over myspace with this girl who stopped returning my phone calls after two dates/f*ck sessions. The first date I bought a round of drinks, she bought the second and then we went back to her place to bang. The second date we went to a restaurant, split the tab and did the same as the last time. I tried calling her twice over the last week and got no response. I then emailed her on myspace:

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Broham
Date: Apr 4, 2006 9:43 AM

If you are going to act indifferent, that's fine, but I want my beers. Please find a way to get them to me.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: *****y Ho
Date: Apr 4, 2006 10:24 AM

lmao, wow, quite the charmer you are. Well, I could mail them to you, but I'd like to be reimbursed for postage. Or, I could leave them on the front stairs, but they may get soggy in the rain, plus, I can't guarantee that they'll be there very long.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Broham
Date: Apr 4, 2006 10:40 AM

wow, you responded. maybe you aren't as rude as I thought. you can keep the beers and send me cash if you want.

how would beer get soggy?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: *****y Ho
Date: Apr 4, 2006 10:43 AM

If you paid any attention, you would know I don't drink beer. I was speaking about the box that holds the beer, it would get soggy in the rain. I'm not paying you for that ****, you're absolutely ridiculous. I've never heard anything like this before. You really made my rainy morning, lol, thanks, because I needed the laugh.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Broham
Date: Apr 4, 2006 10:48 AM

Why should I pay for something that some guy you're dating is going to drink? I wouldn't even care if you were respectful and told me what your big problem was.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: *****y Ho
Date: Apr 4, 2006 10:52 AM

The big problem is that you are the cheapest guy I have ever met, and that's saying something. Not to mention that you are way too aggressive and seem to have no clue about dating. I'll dump those beers down the drain before I offer them to anybody else.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Broham
Date: Apr 4, 2006 11:14 AM

Well at least I got a laugh out of this too.

You're the one coming out of a 6 year relationship and I know nothing about dating? hahaha. I'm terribly sorry that I'm not a walking ATM. Maybe you'll be better off with a eunuch who'll be happy to drain his bank account and be your personal doormat. I forgot that dating is supposed to be about how much money you spend and not the passion of the moment.

Good luck to you.

 

[Wyldfire]

Dude...she had sex with you on the first date and you didn't offer to treat her to dinner on the second date?

Sorry...but you ARE cheap. She feels used and you expect her to want to see you again?

 

[mrRuckus]

Dude...she had sex with you on the first date and you didn't offer to treat her to dinner on the second date?

Sorry...but you ARE cheap. She feels used and you expect her to want to see you again?

Whatever happened to the quote from squirrels i believe... about the payment for having sex with me is MY sex.

I dont pay for dinners for a girl i barely know either. Cheap my ass I pay for friends and girlfriends sometimes.. but a second date.. pfft i barely know her and im not going to buy her love.

Good, let her feel used. Don't have the patience for those crazy feminine emotions. How is a girl being used if i had sex with her and i'm still seeing her again? It's not like he did her and disappeared.

Reversal.... Maybe he should feel used. I mean she had sex with him and then didn't buy him dinner... and not only that b1tched that he didn't pay. I mean, she took sex from him and demanded dinner too! So actually she acted way worse than he did...

Sex isn't some precious gift females dole out to the rare worthy one willing to do the most to earn the sword of sexdom.

 

[JPFromTally]

You played it right...

I disagree with Wyldfire on this. Chances are if you would have paid for a 5 star restaurant dinner you probably wouldn't have gotten laid. Second, I bet you're glad now that you had a little bit of fun without investing too much $$$ on this flake. I wish I could say the same for some of the dumb chicks I've dated. But I learned my lesson...

You were playing the ****y funny card to the tee and this chick was too clueless to get it. Count yourself lucky and next her....

 

[Wyldfire]

How did she "flake"? He got what he wanted from her on both dates. After that second date she decided that she didn't want to see him anymore because she felt he is cheap. And don't even start with that "just because she had sex with him doesn't mean he should pay for her meal" crap. I can't even count the number of times I have heard guys complain about how they spent a ton of money on a girl and she didn't give him sex.

I can understand entirely if a guy wants to go dutch until they have sex...but once they have had sex he should be paying her way when he asks her out.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Given that you and her started as a ons, neither of you can justify high expectations. If she is easily replaced and not ltr material, then any money spent is a waste. But maybe next time you can be more clear about it before you go out to eat so that you avoid the drama.

 

[Sanity_Cleaver]

When a girl tells you you are cheap and too aggressive its means you're only thinking about your own pleasure and not hers, and making it painfully obvious too. You dont care about her, you only care about getting some off her. Nothing else could possibly be more counter-seductive

In laymans terms: youre an idiot and youre never going to dong this girl again.

 

[Wyldfire]

Sure...if she likes being treated as a prostitute.

Better he treat her like a prostitute by actually buying her meal than treat her like a worthless slut who doesn't deserve to eat.

If you ask a girl out on a date...you should expect to pay for that date unless you discuss going dutch ahead of time. Same applies if she asks the guy out.

 

[Wyldfire]

I would think you would see it opposite. It seems offensive to say, "If you feed me, you can fvuk me." However, it seems respectable for all parties to split everything 50/50.

We no longer live in the age where men depend on strength to kill game, etc. to provide dinner. We live in an increasingly equal society.

I just can't believe you think sex means getting free stuff. You seem to be advocating using sex as a tool for whch women gain the upper hand.

Oh my freaking word...

She had already had sex with him once when they went out to dinner. She even had sex with him again AFTER she paid for her own meal. The point I'm making is that seeing as she treated him good by having sex with him she was a bit put off that he didn't treat her good and pay for her goddamned meal. It's not about paying her for sex for crying out loud...it's about treating her well...especially AFTER she did something nice for him that most girls wouldn't have done...give him a piece of tail.

 

[JPFromTally]

All this shows is how women have become victims of their own feminist movement:

- Woman can sleep with whoever she wants, whenever she wants just like a man can because it's her God given right to be a wh0re.

- Men are still expected to pay for everything because otherwise I'm going to label him cheap (below the belt insult) - essentially a form of emotional extortion... Pay for everything and buy me presents or else I will tell everyone you are a cheap.

A woman should value her p00n and make men work for it. When it's easy to get into it loses it's value just like any other commodity.

I have had many one night stands where my total investment was less than 10 bucks and most often $0. Heck, a few months ago I laid a bacardi girl at a bar who was buying ME drinks all night.

However, my ex-girlfriend was a goody-goody who did everything I told her to do (made dinner, didn't argue, didn't nag) and had practically no sexual experience before me. I spent a ton of money on her.

Frankly, I have thick skin and could care less whether or not some dumb chick thinks I'm an a**hole. Usually, it helps me.

 

[Cruise]

What's the relevence between the title of the thread and your point?

 

[JC9]

When a girl tells you you are cheap and too aggressive its means you're only thinking about your own pleasure and not hers, and making it painfully obvious too. You dont care about her, you only care about getting some off her. Nothing else could possibly be more counter-seductive

In laymans terms: youre an idiot and youre never going to dong this girl again.

That's the real issue. Not the money, or being cheap. She wanted romance, not just the requisite 'date' before ****ing.

 

[Stem]

Her – Looking for a MAN

You – Looking for a FVCK

You received exactly what you went looking for.. She did not..

Why are you crying about this??

 

[Broham]

Update: The last e-mail exchange between us-


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Ho
Date: Apr 4, 2006 11:40 AM

When you first start dating someone, you're supposed to try to impress each other. A gentleman would treat his date to dinner, drinks or whatever. I didn't expect anything more than that. I was giving you a second chance when I went out with you again. "The benefit of the doubt." I should have trusted my gut on this one.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Me
Date: Apr 4, 2006 11:58 AM

When I go out on dates, I split the tab 50/50, and you're the first girl to complain about it, so congrats. Your prize is in the mail.

Its too bad because I thought we had a nice thing going. It turns out that you're just as shallow as most girls out there. Therefore, I'm glad you showed your true colors early so I didn't waste anymore of my time. Have a nice life.

 

[Broham]

I'm not "crying" about this. I'm just pissed off since this girl got the sht fvcked outta her twice, told me how much she loved it, and is now not talking to me because I didn't spend $20 on her.

I also didn't stay over her place both times, but that is only because I was living home at the time and my parents would flip out if I didn't come home. Do you think she felt used because we had sex and I left a few hours after? Thankfully I have my own place now.

 

[Wyldfire]

Um...did you TELL her you go dutch BEFORE you went out? Obviously not or she would have not accepted the second date in the first place. So...you ask her out on a date, don't bother to tell her that you will not be paying her way for whatever you invited her to do and she just figured it out when it came time to pay.

If you are going to insist that a woman pay her own way when you ask her out on a date then you need to tell her up front right when you ask her out so she can decide whether or not she still wants to go out with you. The fact that you clearly don't do that (and we can all see that based on this girl's email) then you are in the wrong here. No, you don't HAVE to pay...but you DO need to communicate that you expect her to pay for herself and give her the option to accept that or not BEFORE the date.

 

[Wyldfire]

Hey, WF, do you see how you make it sound like it's always SHE having sex with HIM?

It takes two to tango, right?

You make this sound like she's doing him a favor...he offered his body...she offered hers...CONSENSUAL sex, hon.

And HE asked her out on a date without telling her up front that he expected her to pay her own way. In all my 40 years I have NEVER had a man not offer to pay. There have been many times that I insisted on paying my share...but never has a man done what this guy did. It's not him asking her to pay that is the issue...it's that he didn't let her know ahead of time that he wasn't taking her out...that she was taking herself out at the same place he was. And then he acts like she's out of line for being pissed over it and not wanting to see him again.

 

[Broham]

WF, how can you expect the guy to be obligated to let her know beforehand that she has to pay for herself? Would I tell a new friend that? How about a new business contact? How is she different than anyone else except for the fact that there is (potentially) a physical connection? Right, SHE'S NOT!

How much money one spends should not be a gauge to how much a person likes/respects another. Its just another fallacy which has been blown up by the media and as a result girls become shallow.

 

[Wyldfire]

WF, how can you expect the guy to be obligated to let her know beforehand that she has to pay for herself? Would I tell a new friend that? How about a new business contact? How is she different than anyone else except for the fact that there is (potentially) a physical connection? Right, SHE'S NOT!

How much money one spends should not be a gauge to how much a person likes/respects another. Its just another fallacy which has been blown up by the media and as a result girls become shallow.

Because MOST men who ask a woman out on a date DO pay for the woman. Since that is the norm, that is what EVERY woman you ask out is going to assume.

No, how much money you spend does not guage how much a person likes or respects another person...but being up front and honest about such a policy does. What if she can't really afford to go out to dinner and if she knew she had to pay she would decline going because of a car payment or rent being due? What you did was inconsiderate simply because your policy is NOT what is considered the norm. That is why she doesn't want to see you again. If you had of told her up front that you want to go dutch she probably would have still gone if she was really interested in you. On top of that...being honest from the get go would have prevented her from even having any reason to be mad in the first place.

 

[Broham]

Because MOST men who ask a woman out on a date DO pay for the woman. Since that is the norm, that is what EVERY woman you ask out is going to assume.

No, how much money you spend does not guage how much a person likes or respects another person...but being up front and honest about such a policy does. What if she can't really afford to go out to dinner and if she knew she had to pay she would decline going because of a car payment or rent being due? What you did was inconsiderate simply because your policy is NOT what is considered the norm. That is why she doesn't want to see you again. If you had of told her up front that you want to go dutch she probably would have still gone if she was really interested in you. On top of that...being honest from the get go would have prevented her from even having any reason to be mad in the first place.

I think "the norm" to which you're referring is applicable mainly to your generation. Like I said to this chick, I've gone dutch before and girls have never complained. On the other hand, I've spent boatloads of cash on chicks, only to have them perma-flake on me, so I learned my lesson. You have to understand girls 18-25 these days have JOBS and make MONEY. I am not her husband/breadwinner and I don't owe her sht just because she agreed to go out with me. If this was 1950, it would be a different story.