She called me a "*****"

[aliasguy]

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This bartender chick who i was obliquely flirting with dismissively called me a "wh*re" a few weeks ago. She's still real nice to me (hired guns usually ARE, though, for tips.)

I'm not overtly promiscuous, I don't talk about my conquests, I'm not a "bedpost-notcher." I don't brag about girls I "date," and i don't really screw all that many girls that she knows about anyway.

The crowd at her bar includes a bunch of folks I know and sometimes hang out with. I understand "social proof" and all, but will this hurt me if this is indeed the way I'm seen?

I'm really NOT racking up big numbers, and I really don't have all that much to brag about with regard to laying a lot of girls from her bar.


I don't know why she would think of me this way. It's not like she knows what I'm up to, anyway.


Any ideas about all this?

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[joekerr31]

generally speaking using the term 'wh*re' is always a bad sign, no matter who it is being fired off at.

but if your dealing with some bulldyke waitress who thinks she is one of the boys, she might be the kind of woman who busts all the guys balls for fun.

who knows. more importantly, who cares. don't give it a second thought and pretend like she never said it.

if you encounter her again and she insults you again, stand up for yourself next time.

see, the problem here is that we werent there and can't tell if she was flirting with you and calling you wh*re, by which she really meant stud (ie. you've bedded a lot of women). or if she was calling you a wh*re as in 'your a disgusting pig'.

 

[STR8UP]

Maybe just a poor choice of words?

I doubt a bartender chick is gonna jeopardize her income stream by knowingly insulting a customer, so I would guess that she meant to call you a "player".

I get that sh!t all the time, and I don't deserve the title.

It's just women trying to slap a label on you when they are sizing you up, and i think generally it's a GOOD thing. It means that she has an opinion of you IN A SEXUAL WAY. Most women who aren't looking at you as a potential won't say something like this.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Only women who act outside of their naturally ordained femininity can be a hor - men can never be hors - only pimps!!! As stated by PR_L..http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=50480

 

[STR8UP]

oh god....i saw LMS responded and I KNEW the response before I read it.

BTW....don't you mean their socially ordained femininity?

Contrary to your "natural" order theory, it's ALL social and/or religious. ALL of it.

 

[MikeEdward1973]

Sometimes, when I feel the wait staff at a bar or restaurant is starting to take my patronage for granted, I'll opt out for a few weeks, choosing to go somewhere else. They might blow you off the first time you come back from such a departure, since they'll actually be disappointed, but over the long-run, a pattern of erratic attendance will make them a lot more respectful and appreciative of you.

Keep them guessing, and make them earn your business.

 

[aliasguy]

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Well, to clarify.....

She was "off duty," and more than a little drunk. I wasn't hitting on her at the time, just flirting. There were a lot of other guys vying for her attention, and we were just talking back and forth. She said, "You're just a man-wh*re, alias," sorta quietly, just to me. It wasn't an announcement to everyone.

I'll agree that the term "wh*re" is never GOOD, but I'm still really not sure what she MEANT. At the time, I just laughed it off, seeing as how she was kinda wasted, and I felt no need to defend myself or "stand up" for myself over it. Perhaps I was wrong.

I really don't think she was flirting. I think she was maybe saying that I WAS a "disgusting pig."

She's not a "bull-dyke," more like a 6.5, kinda regular girl.

But whatever. It is as it is. She's been very nice since. She might not even remember. And no other incidents. But I haven't flirted with her since, either.

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[aliasguy]

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I really don't care about HER so much, but the other folks there, and how she might "poison the well," y'know.

OR.... what others might be saying to HER.

DAMN, I'm paranoid.......
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[MikeEdward1973]

I think you're over-analyzing this.

Analysis is paralysis.

My guess is she spends very little time talking about you, or, with all due respect, thinking about you, when you're not there.

 

[joekerr31]

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I really don't care about HER so much, but the other folks there, and how she might "poison the well," y'know.

OR.... what others might be saying to HER.

DAMN, I'm paranoid.......
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yep you are paranoid.

chics hardly make sense normally, when they are drunk they really stop making any sense.

for all you know she was thinking of her ex bf and then you were the closest guy to her and she blurts out 'you're a wh*re."

based on how you described it, it sounds like she had her panties in a bunch of something (probably man related), got a little booze in her, and then took a little bit of her issues out on you.

kind of like the guy who comes home and kicks the dog because his boss pissed him off.

so stop worrying about this. moreover, any woman who goes around calling someone a 'wh*re" is a piece of sh*t anyway, and who cares if they 'poison' the well, anyone who listens to them has sh*t for brains to begin with and i could care less.

 

[aliasguy]

I think you're over-analyzing this.

Analysis is paralysis.

My guess is she spends very little time talking about you, or, with all due respect, thinking about you, when you're not there.

OK, I'll go along with that. I'm making a bigger deal over this than need be. Thanks.

I realize SHE doesn't likely think about or care about me. But do I need to sweat what she might say about me to others there? How much can I expect this to hurt me with other women at that place, given how the grapevine works.


To be clear --- this ISN'T about HER. I'm not really interested in bagging her. I'm worried about the big picture.

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[aliasguy]

yep you are paranoid.

chics hardly make sense normally, when they are drunk they really stop making any sense.

for all you know she was thinking of her ex bf and then you were the closest guy to her and she blurts out 'you're a wh*re."

based on how you described it, it sounds like she had her panties in a bunch of something (probably man related), got a little booze in her, and then took a little bit of her issues out on you.

kind of like the guy who comes home and kicks the dog because his boss pissed him off.

so stop worrying about this. moreover, any woman who goes around calling someone a 'wh*re" is a piece of sh*t anyway, and who cares if they 'poison' the well, anyone who listens to them has sh*t for brains to begin with and i could care less.

Thanks, Joekerr...... really.

I'm listening......

 

[Last Man Standing]

oh god....i saw LMS responded and I KNEW the response before I read it.

BTW....don't you mean their socially ordained femininity?

Contrary to your "natural" order theory, it's ALL social and/or religious. ALL of it.

America is a hor nation and not a religious order -- the social order is a hor / homo order and not religious - you are either ignorantly delusional or a purposeful devil! You knew my response because I speak truth and thus truth precedes falsehood - and falsehood is what you represent!! You obviously hate yourself!! Fix yourself - don't blame me!!

 

[aliasguy]

America is a hor nation and not a religious order -- the social order is a hor / homo order and not religious - you are either ignorantly delusional or a purposeful devil! You knew my response because I speak truth and thus truth precedes falsehood - and falsehood is what you represent!! You obviously hate yourself!! Fix yourself - don't blame me!!

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OK, LMS, thanks. No surprise that's your view.

So, what do you think about my SPECIFIC question here?

Is this chick gonna mess me up with other girls at this specific bar?

Start another thread about the hor/homo order if you want... (I might even join in and back you up.... HAHAHA)....but I just want to know what everyone thinks about this bartender chick, man.

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[joekerr31]

America is a hor nation and not a religious order -- the social order is a hor / homo order and not religious - you are either ignorantly delusional or a purposeful devil! You knew my response because I speak truth and thus truth precedes falsehood - and falsehood is what you represent!! You obviously hate yourself!! Fix yourself - don't blame me!!

am i the only one confused by this? i have absolutely no clue what you just said. :crazy:

 

[ketostix]

Str8up, LMS is your arch nemesis haha. There's some truth to what he says but I think it takes it way too far.

Alias, I agree with Str8's response, it could've been just a little test and her asking herself the question why not go for Alias and then blurtin that out. I wouldn't worry too much or read into it too far.

 

[STR8UP]

There's some truth to what he says but I think it takes it way too far..

I agree.

But any 40 something dude that will only marry a virgin is delusional at best.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Alias, why do you care what a bar tending hor says?? I really don't understand your concern - it is foreign to me!!! Why do you care about deviants - you should care about those who are in their rightful thinking and their comments!

Joekerr, what is it that you don't understand? What I speak is plain!

Ketostix, I am not str8up's nemesis - the truth is!!! Str8up hates that which is good!

 

[jophil28]

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This bartender chick who i was obliquely flirting with dismissively called me a "wh*re" a few weeks ago. She's still real nice to me (hired guns usually ARE, though, for tips.)

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Hey Alias, this is a woman talking- how much weight do we MEN give to words that fall out of a woman's mouth ? Batting ZERO dude.

In the last thirty years I have been called ( by women) , a wh0re, a slut, a player , aloof, a loner, a bad guy, a user, a naughty man, and a homo ( my response to the last comment was. " I am not gay but i think that my boyfriend may be") .. Geez this is trival stuff, man. Women just say stuff to get a reaction out of you or to get your attention. WE give them way too much power when we start to worry about the implications or the fallout from the stuff that they say.
Personally, I think that she was giving you either a sly compliment or was trying to initiate a sexual connection with you (however she was drinking and so accurate interpretation is impossible.)

Ultimately, whatever she thinks or says, counts for zip...

 

[jophil28]

Double, oops.