Sh1t Test, and how I responded (a good example)

[skip2mylou781]

I agreed to go to the movies with an ex gf of mine (who definitely still has interest in me), and i went because I never had sex with her before, so i figured it'd be nice if I end up ****in her brains out.............

anyway, we get something to eat really quickly before the movies. During this hour, i talk probably 90% of the time, while she is boring, makes no eye contact, and acts just like a total b1tch. So, as we are walking from restaurant to the movies, i made some joke, and she DISRESPECTULLY started to say something and then didnt say it, and she said "i was going to call you a dumbass"

I JOKINGLY said "oh man if thats what you think, I dont wanna go to the movies with you very much" (really not serious at all)

she said "ok well then im gonna drive home" (shyt test)

i said "ok, bye"

and thats it, I let her get her *****y ass into her car and drive home.

that was last night, and since that, I got 3 text messages from the b1tch saying "why didnt you follow me and stop me from leaving?????"

well, as much as id love to say "cuz ur a disrespectful ***** and you shouldnt just LEAVE in the first place!!!"..............INSTEAD, i'll just not respond and ignore it

i do have 3 other girls on the side - always good to spin the plates!


but hey, did I do the right thing with that stupid shyt test or what???

 

[ChrizZ]

U did the right thing bro

 

[JustDoItAlways]

not exactly

But you didn't pass the sh1t-test, you failed.

Like she said, passing the sh1t-test would have meant you calmly b1tching her out for being such a b1tch and telling her to get with the program or she's out.

She then would have complied, sulked about it for awhile, gradually warmed up to you at the movie and then would have been all over you after it.

She probably wouldn't have screwed you that night but there would have a second time where she pulled the same sh1t-test all over again and if you passed it properly the second time as well, she would have rewarded you with the whole deal.

Passing a sh1t-test sometimes means walking away. Most of the time, the chick is really saying "Please prove to me with actions that you are a real man. And I really hope you pass because I really need a man."

 

[skip2mylou781]

so letting her disrespect me and then when she tries to drive away, i should stop her (appearing needy)?????

i didnt think so

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

Passing a sh1t-test sometimes means walking away.

So how are you disagreeing with skip again?

Isn't that what he ACTUALLY did? Which you agree with? Which makes 90% of what you wrote complete crap?

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

she would have rewarded you with the whole deal.

OH BOY!! A treat! *wags AFC tail*... I'm finally gonna get some!

 

[Qmanchoo]

**Edit - Just want to point out that I fully agree with JustDoItAlways

The reason she was texting you to figure out why you didn't try to stop her is because when you DIDN'T try to stop her that shows you didn't care about her.

Which makes your "only want to get some" mentality that much more obvious.

Ask yourself these questions:

What are her motivations for getting back together with you?
Does she just want sex?
Does she want a relationship?
Did you breakup with her initially or her with you?

If you answer these questions you'll understand where she's coming from...

Maybe she was acting "aloof and stuck up" from your perspective... but from her's it was a defense against falling for you again... getting ****ed... and then tossed away (which sounds like your plan)

In any case... you should have grabbed your balls and like a man calmy called her on her behavior and explained exactly how you're interpreting it. THAT would show that you care and THAT would have created stronger feelings in her for you.

That's my two cents and I'll put the other 98 on being right.

 

[skip2mylou781]

The reason she was texting you to figure out why you didn't try to stop her is because when you DIDN'T try to stop her that shows you didn't care about her.

Which makes your "only want to get some" mentality that much more obvious.

Ask yourself these questions:

What are her motivations for getting back together with you?
Does she just want sex?
Does she want a relationship?
Did you breakup with her initially or her with you?

If you answer these questions you'll understand where she's coming from...

Maybe she was acting "aloof and stuck up" from your perspective... but from her's it was a defense against falling for you again... getting ****ed... and then tossed away (which sounds like your plan)

In any case... you should have grabbed your balls and like a man calmy called her on her behavior and explained exactly how you're interpreting it. THAT would show that you care and THAT would have created stronger feelings in her for you.

That's my two cents and I'll put the other 98 on being right.

ur from boston? maybe u know her cuz thats where she lives LOL

seriously though, why should i supplicate to her and ASK her not to drive away when she brought it up first, and all this AFTER she was disrespecting me..............AFC much? this might have not even been a shyt test, but simply just a b1tch doing what a b1tch does


oh yea by the way, i had dumped her a lil over a year ago for another girl

 

[Nighthawk]

Sounds like you did the right thing Skip, especially if you kept your composure. If a woman (or man) is going to be a sulky brat they should expect the consequences.

If a woman pulls away, 90% of the time the right reaction is to pull away further.

Why didn't you walk me home is another test. If you want to reply, something like 'because you were being naughty. I only walk good girls home.'

 

[Qmanchoo]

You seem to be missing the point...

The situation itself had nothing to do with being needy or supplicating. You're too wrapped up in this DJ nonsense to see the forest through the trees.

There is how reality and people work... and then there is this DJ world with its terms and codes that fvck peoples interactions with women up... just like this one.

let me explain a bit about what I meant... I didn't say ask her not to drive away... and this is a vital LIFE concept nevermind dating... but business and family...

I'm saying deal with the situation as it stood. You thought she was acting aloof and *****y... but was that actually the case or just how you were interpreting her actions?

My point is that you didn't know... so you have to step up and say "Hey, it seems like you have been acting like X tonight. And I've been nothing but nice and talkative. If there is something you want to say then let me know, otherwise I don't see why I should be spending time out with you since you're not even being friendly"

That would start a healthy argument or discussion and then you can work things out.

$5 says you FELT how she was acting inside... and wanted to say "HEY STOP BEING A *****" but instead you just blew the sitaution off.

 

[Qmanchoo]

Nighthawk:
If a woman pulls away, 90% of the time the right reaction is to pull away further.

No that is incorrect, especially if they pull away as a result of MISINTERPRETING your behavior as something negative or unattractive when YOU MEAN otherwise. Which is why getting it on the table and discussing it is much more effective than walking away. If you pull away, they pull away... and then you never see them again you'll know why. You ****ed up.

Anyone of any quality wont stick around if you walk away.

I'll also add that I'm a LTR guy not a ONS guy. And I'm currently involved in a very loving and lasting relationship with a girl who wants to mary me. So, that's my persepctive and experience.

 

[skip2mylou781]

well the point is, she said she's going to drive away when i called her out on her calling me a dumbazz (bigtime disrespect on her part there!), i said something along the lines of "IM the man here, and im not gonna let you talk like that to me little girl" and i did that PLAYFULLY while i had grabbed her from the front and was holding her by her arms, which is when she said "ok then im just gonna go home right now", and i said "ok"

and then we both headed for each other's cars........the fact that she first called me a dumbazz (i was being playful the whole date, and she was being boring and reserved), and THEN she said shes going home, why in THE BLUE HELL would i try and stop her from leaving and try to talk things out with her????

 

[Qmanchoo]

If you re-read my posts and sum them up into one sentence they all say... deal with this issue ---> "I was being playful the whole date, and she was being boring and reserved"

Then you can figure out how to proceed.

I didn't say anywhere to chase after her and ask her not to drive away. I actually said that in my last post too. You seem a bit fixated on that action alone and not the issue at hand. All my posts aim directly and dealing with the issue at hand.

If she's not willing to deal with it or talk about it then move on... she's not what you want.

I think one of the problems here as well is that you're out looking for a lay and I'm Mr. LTR

 

[Lucas718]

I guess the thing here is that it's pretty obvious she didn't want to just go home, she wanted to hang out with you. You let her walk away and the game is a tie, nobody wins.

I think you still could have gotten her to stay without looking like a chump. When she said that she was going home, it might have been better to say something like "you don't really want to do that". If she persisted then say "well, I'm going to the movies... you're welcome to join me but only if you apologize for how horribly you've treated me" and say that with a sly smile. Chances are something like that would end your little standoff and she would relent. And if she doesn't, then let her walk away because she really is an uptight *****.

 

[skip2mylou781]

Qmanchoo - its possible that maybe I just did not care enough, because I am currently seeign 3 other girls (and fvcking 2 of them), but nonetheless, no man should put up with such disrespect (calling him a dumbazzm, then driving away, and THEN expecting for the man to stop her and talk to her)

i do see your point as you are Mr. LTR, I like LTRs but they are 1000 times harder to be successful in as opposed to just having sex with lotsa girls.........THIS ONE is purely b1tchy AND boring

 

[skip2mylou781]

I guess the thing here is that it's pretty obvious she didn't want to just go home, she wanted to hang out with you. You let her walk away and the game is a tie, nobody wins.

I think you still could have gotten her to stay without looking like a chump. When she said that she was going home, it might have been better to say something like "you don't really want to do that". If she persisted then say "well, I'm going to the movies... you're welcome to join me but only if you apologize for how horribly you've treated me" and say that with a sly smile. Chances are something like that would end your little standoff and she would relent. And if she doesn't, then let her walk away because she really is an uptight *****.

i dont care much about gettin with her or not, i DO care that i chose to see her and blew off another girl who i know wouldnt have done something like that.........i guess i just wanted to point out how a man shouldnt just need to put up with a shyt test

 

[thefonz]

You didn't pass the shyt test but you did the right thing anyway.

 

[arlanda]

The situation itself had nothing to do with being needy or supplicating. You're too wrapped up in this DJ nonsense to see the forest through the trees.

There is how reality and people work... and then there is this DJ world with its terms and codes that fvck peoples interactions with women up... just like this one.

Amen brother!

 

[skip2mylou781]

Theres your mistake right there man.

Sarge On...

LOl hey i like that peice of advice actually

the only reason i went for it is cuz I never had sex with her when we were dating, so I wanted to make up for a lost opportunity - but yea it IS somewhat a mistake to go see your ex again

she never stopped "liking" me though, since I was the one who dumped her and she was the AFC afterwards........so this wasn't one of those "oh she's an ex because shes not interested anymore" kind of things

maybe bitter that I dumped her a year ago though?

 

[reyalp]

my general rule is, if i've got a sub-3hr investment, and i get **** tests, i'll just bail

after 3hrs investment, which usually puts me on meeting #2 (or location #2), i'll try to work through the **** test.

i've gotten in the habit of telling them they should go home if they're not having any fun. then i'll say "but first, we have to do xxxx" and just drag them to another area/location.