Sex first, relationship second

Inspector Clouseau

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The hardest lesson boys make when growing into men is the disaster associated with focusing on relationship first, sex second. Boys, as in the unenlightened, figure if he tries for relationship with a woman first, sex will naturally follow. He is guided by conventional societal wisdom, mind you in a weak and demasculinized society, to strive for romance and intellect with the object of his desire (e.g. courting, chivalry, dealing with "relationship stuff"). The hard lesson hits him to the core when, repeatedly with women for whom he cared the world over, things go down the crapper before ever reaching exclusivity, leaving him hornier than ever, hence his bonding with Hugh Hefner. He was "too boring," "too serious," "not exciting enough," "a turn off," "was one inch too short."

People are naturally resistant to change, they would rather have their life stay the same rather than face the uncertainty of change. When you meet a woman, she secretly seeks reasons you are not good enough for her, not because she necessarily believes you are not good enough for her, rather to fuel rationalizations to keep you out of her life. By process of cognitive dissonance when there are two conflicting facts, your brain rationalizes away the difference. Broken down:

Fact 1) Her life is stable and routine
Fact 2) You are an uncertain and unknown quantity


Because fear of the unknown, her brain seeks out any reason, no matter how trivial, to justify why you shouldn't be a part of her life. Eventually she will find a reason. How high her interest in you will determine how long until her rationalizations outweigh her interest and she ditches you. I once heard of a woman who dumped a man because he wore white socks. What a man does not wear white socks?

But wait! There's hope! You can short-circuit her seeking of faults and stop ticking of the clock by doing one simple thing: have sex. For your own sake, engage in sex as expeditiously possible; spend the least amount of time with a woman before dating her, before banging her.

Women never develop any true feelings for a guy until after sex. "Women use sex to get to love." Sex releases chemicals in her brain creating an emotional bond with the man and thereafter the rules of the game are entirely switched. The phenomena of unequivocal disconfirmation happens when someone makes a decision and will stick by that decision, no matter how illogical, just because they made the decision. Unequivocal disconfirmation comes hand-in-hand with cognitive dissonance; no longer will she seek reasons to ditch you, rather for reasons to keep you in her life. When faults of yours are found, she will rationalize the faults away by means of cognitive dissonance (e.g. your lack of style “can be changed”). This best explains why jerks maintain relationships with women, no matter how illogical the relationship appears from an outside view. Boys learn the hard lesson all those women they secretly fell heads over heels for didn't give a damn in the world for them, as those very women cling onto men who got inside their panties, and inside them.

Think of the penis as a key, the vagina as a keyhole. Shouldn't be too hard, given you probably already have. You can wave the key around all you want, but until you put the key into the keyhole, you don't have a connection.


Before sex: You -- high interest, she -- low to moderate interest
After sex: She -- high interest, you -- low to moderate interest

Before sex: Women never call
After sex: Buy caller ID

Before sex: You want to hear the phone ring
After sex: She wants to hear wedding bells ring

Before sex: You pay, pay, pay
After sex: It's "equality"

Before sex: No dinner below $20 will suffice.
After sex: McDonald's is fine.

Before sex: You chase her
After sex: She chases you

Before sex: She's only one out of many
After sex: She wants to be your one

Before sex: You worry about her friends
After sex: She worries about your friends

Before sex: Hugh Hefner your best friend
After sex: Hugh Hefner banned



Seduction first, romance second.

The Inspector

[This message has been edited by Inspector Clouseau (edited 03-21-2002).]
 

Jake Steed

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Brilliant. Hall of fame material here, Inspector.

How is a woman like a tile floor?

Lay her right the first time, and you can walk all over her forever.

Jake
 

Powertrip

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That's probably one of the better tips I've ever read on here. I can't even begin to explain how that cleared up some very murky waters in my head tonight. Thank you, Inspector!
 

ArizonaDJ

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GREAT post! When I finally learned this about 2 years ago, my dating life turned around completely.

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"... I AM THE GAME, there's no way you can play me!" - Motorhead
 

dead_romeo

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Inspector! That was brilliant. You got it down pat, man.

The short version:
Fukk her like a jackhammer, then treat her like the dooshbag she is, she will be your slave forever.

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"Conclusions arrived at through reasoning have very little or no influence in altering the course of our lives. Hence, the countless examples of people who have the clearest convictions and yet act diametrically against them time and time again; and have as the only explanation for their behavior the idea that to err is human." Carlos Castaneda - The Fire From Within

"Hell aint a bad place to be" - AC/DC
 

Neophyte

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In theory this the statement is not bad.

It's like the problem with the chicken and the egg : which one was first ?

You need sex to involve love.
To get a woman ready for sex, you have to make her feel "in love", at least for that moment (= seduction)

You simply cannot force a woman. So, whatever you do for seduction, she will know what you are trying to do - of course there are exceptions ( blondes
, no just kidding)

When she knows, you could make her insecure. That is what seduction is about. Make her feel safe, etc.

No escaping from that task! In fact there are some exceptions: woman who just want sex because they are horny! You don't want those women for a relationship anyway.

Try to improve the seduction time needed. That will make the difference between an experienced "DJ" and a beginner.

-Neo

[This message has been edited by Neophyte (edited 03-21-2002).]
 

ArizonaDJ

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I use the Louis & Copeland system where a first date is a "priming date" and the second date is the "seduction date" with the purpose of getting the woman into bed.
 

Inspector Clouseau

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Originally posted by ArizonaDJ:
I use the Louis & Copeland system where a first date is a "priming date" and the second date is the "seduction date" with the purpose of getting the woman into bed.
It's good you mention Louis and Copeland because they mention the disaster of the relationship first sex second strategy, but only in like one sentence. It was reading their book I first became aware of the problem, but had to learn the hard way for the message to take hold.

The Inspector
 

[A]rtful[DJ]

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Hmmm very interesting Inspector..

U solved some of the missing pieces in my jigsaw puzzle..
GREAT POST!!


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Realize that the world is just a stage, and u ll see how easy everything is.
 
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