Sense of Security

[Roundup]

I've been going out with my girlfriend for 8 months. Throughout this 8 months, she's been complaining that I couldn't provide fer with the feeling of being protected. She desperately needs the sense of security. Can someone tell me how I could provide that feeling?

 

[earthshyne]

You cannot make her feel secure - or make her feel anything else. You can have input on some of her circumstances, but how she relates them to certain feelings is entirely up to her. The best you can do in this situation is to provide her with the opportunity and give her reason to feel secure with you. If, when you're out together, you're ogling other wimmen, then that's probably not a good thing. But my sense is that her issue has more to do with what happened to her long before you were in the picture.

Best advice: As in all things, be yourself.

 

[Roundup]

Can you give me some examples of reasons for her to feel secure with me?

 

[Sammo]

That girl has some issues to sort out. Then again, shes like more other girls - all they want is attention.

 

[earthshyne]

Originally posted by Roundup
Can you give me some examples of reasons for her to feel secure with me?

I don't think there are any specifics that I can tell you because I don't know you, I don't know her and I don't know the dynamic that takes place between you two. So all I can suggest are some broad brush-strokes:

• Be present to her. By that, I mean when you're with her, focus on the fact that you're together. If, for instance, you go to the mall and you want to spent a chunk of your day in the fishing tackle store, go ahead, but remember that she's there to be with you, not with fishing tackle;
• Listen. Not just "hear" her, but actually listen to her. Wimmen talk to express emotions, so once you understand that you'll have a better idea of where she's coming from;
• Pay attention. When you're together, it's probably not a good time to be ogling other chicks. Besides, that's my job.

Good luck!

 

[LikRetsam]

Err, right.

Anyways, I wouldn't bite on this stupid story. What the **** does she need to be 'protected' from? The big bad wolf?
Thinking about this really hurts. What is she really trying to say? And then it came to me!

WHO CARES!?

 

[Michael Chief]

Maybe you aren't beng confident enough with your mannerisms.
Be THE MAN...and a damn confident one at that - and she'll feel like a princess under her knight's protection

 

[paraguayandj]

when you say secure. do you mean secure as in relationship secure or as in safety secure?

 

[Disconnect]

Get really built and show a sense of confidence.

 

[LikRetsam]

Original poster, please ignore the majority of these replies and brush this off as a cry for attention.

 

[VIVAlasVEGASBaby]

Originally posted by LikRetsam
Original poster, please ignore the majority of these replies and brush this off as a cry for attention.

 

[Sir Lancelot]

I don't think she desperately needs the feeling of security, since she's stayed with you for 8 months now. Don't change yourself or your behavior to try to make her feel more protected.

I think Lik's right, it sounds like a cry for attention.