Senior and never even danced with a girl! PLEASE HELP ME ON MY MISSION!

[naes420]

So I am a senior in highschool, I have never danced, kissed, had a girlfriend...nothing. I know, very lame. By the end of highschool I really want to get laid, I know if I dont I will regret it for the rest of my life. I really, really need all the help I can get. I am very serious about this, If you are a troll PLEASE DO NOT POST HERE! I am a real guy and I really desperately want this.

At school, I have very little friends, I have no friends I can hang out with during lunch...I have them, I just dont want to bother anyone, I dont have fun with them... I actually sleep on the toilet...pathetic, I know, I just don't like to be seen alone during lunch and I dont have fun with my friends. I can socialize well, I just can never pull the trigger, in anything in life...I cant ask for help, I cant ask if for if I can go with person A or B...I just dont want to seem annoying.

We have 10 minute breaks in between classes. I usually walk the halls alone. I like it, I feel it might make me look creepy, but maybe mysterious to some girls? I dont know what girls like...thats not good.

Why did I even mention all this? Well it validates my next point being that I cant get girls outside of school because I cant get any people to help me. I want one from the school, its the only way. I live out in the middle of no where and don't have a car anyways, I take a school bus to school and there are no public busses where I live. So they must be from school. I spend 90% of my free time playing games on my computer and smoking weed while I do it.


The one thing I have on my side is I am very good looking, at least I think I am, well, I guess I know I am (obviously it still doesn't help my confidence) girls look at me a lot in the halls and in class, attractive ones and not so attractive ones, I can't tell if it is because I am attractive or not but I think it is.

They don't smile they just look at my face until I look at them... they look away very quickly when I get close or look at them back...or maybe its me who does that when I look at them looking at me... There are ALOT of girls who do this, often the same ones. I dont know what to do without looking creepy here, Like I said I cant pull the trigger for ****, so obviously that means I have approach anxiety with people I don't know well, I feel like I cant be sure that they are actually interested or not...how can I tell? How should I approach them? What do I do??

Its only girls who do this by the way, never guys, I am completely invisible to most guys. No guys ever mess with me though, the first and last time some guy did in the halls I gave him a world class ass kicking ( I am very skinny and 5'8 but I am a 1st degree black belt ), he was a lot bigger then me too, this isn't a very big deal with girls because it was a while back 2 years ago. I am in a very small school where everyone knows everyone though.


Please help me, I really wanted to get things going this year... I missed winter formal already...thats one thing I will never get to experience in my life now, its going to kill me if I miss prom too...PLEASE HELP!!! In any way you can, motivate me, give me advice...ANYTHING! If you need any more info please let me know.

 

[Crazy Asian]

well start by pushing urself to talk to people.
this is the first step to opening up.
talk to everyone just to make conversation.
u'll get better and better until it becomes natural to you.
be like the host of a party, and just have fun with everyone.
after this, start talking to more specifically girls.
the hardest part is the beginning, but to change, you need to push yourself.

and girls might be staring at you cause u look creepy and weird?
you say that u might also be really good looking, but from the rest of ur post, i'm thinking it's the first one.
but post a pic and we can help you with ur appearance as well.

 

[naes420]

I am not going to post a picture because hundreds of people are online here at once I just am not taking that chance it is someone I know. If you really want to see me I will send it in private message.

 

[jeffthechef]

walk/talk with em…I don’t go out of my way anymore to not look like a loner..STOP THINKING ABOUT WHAT GIRLS LIKE…worry about what you like

Why did I even mention all this? Well it validates my next point being that I cant get girls outside of school because I cant get any people to help me. I want one from the school, its the only way. I live out in the middle of no where and don't have a car anyways, I take a school bus to school and there are no public busses where I live. So they must be from school. I spend 90% of my free time playing games on my computer and smoking weed while I do it.

hmm..getting girls from other schools requires you to go to the other schools for events or having connections…stop spending that much time on the comp and go outside…like sports?….go to the mall or park or beach or check out free and intereestinv events..conventions…stop smoking weed…I believe 95% of girls in high school will be turned off by this habit…and the girls who smoke weed too aren’t the girls I would go for…STOP SMOKING…

The one thing I have on my side is I am very good looking, at least I think I am, well, I guess I know I am (obviously it still doesn't help my confidence) girls look at me a lot in the halls and in class, attractive ones and not so attractive ones, I can't tell if it is because I am attractive or not but I think it is.

Don’t matter if you know or not..assume you are…you’ll come off as confident…don’t get ****y though

They don't smile they just look at my face until I look at them... they look away very quickly when I get close or look at them back...or maybe its me who does that when I look at them looking at me... There are ALOT of girls who do this, often the same ones. I dont know what to do without looking creepy here, Like I said I cant pull the trigger for ****, so obviously that means I have approach anxiety with people I don't know well, I feel like I cant be sure that they are actually interested or not...how can I tell? How should I approach them? What do I do??

STOP ANALYZING..you’ll never know unless you ask…could be a sexy guy like me behind you like me they’re checking out…or perhaps it is you..stop trying to find indicators to build confidence…build confidence off your own passions and morals….pulling the trigger is easy if you have confidence…stop worrying about consequences that don’t exist…approaching doesn’t have to be something mindblowing…a simple hi/smile/how’s it going..

Its only girls who do this by the way, never guys, I am completely invisible to most guys. No guys ever mess with me though, the first and last time some guy did in the halls I gave him a world class ass kicking ( I am very skinny and 5'8 but I am a 1st degree black belt ), he was a lot bigger then me too, this isn't a very big deal with girls because it was a while back 2 years ago. I am in a very small school where everyone knows everyone though.

Develop better relationships with the guys at school…don’t be the guy that everyone fears will kick their ass or likes to fight…fighting doesn’t establish you as anything more than a guy with temper and masculinity issues…but if it was for self-defense that’s fine….one possible reason why people don’t mess with you is because they know you could mess you up..but these guys that are looking to fight first have the earlier mentioned issues…I used to think about fighting when I was with my group of friends and we saw a similar group nearby..but ended when I was 12…now I think about making friends first…and in the end it’s more beneficial to make connections than to break…interconnectedness=value....buddhist philosophy

Please help me, I really wanted to get things going this year... I missed winter formal already...thats one thing I will never get to experience in my life now, its going to kill me if I miss prom too...PLEASE HELP!!! In any way you can, motivate me, give me advice...ANYTHING! If you need any more info please let me know.

Well the impression I get is…an average to good looking guy with confidence issues..but I would lean towards average cause the better looking guys usually don’t do drugs even though they may seem like they do…it’s the lower or mid to upper guys that do…but that’s from my experience..just try to stop smoking cause if girls know..they might not want to approach you cause you’re a “bad” guy…plus it’s not good for you…just build confidence…any more ?’s

 

[slaog]

To attract people into your life you need to become a more attractive person. Inner game is the key to that.


- Sit down and figure out what you want from life. It would be a good start if you had some hobbies. This will take your mind off things like women.
- Set yourself some goals and work towards those goals. Read them every day.
- Use some positive affirmations.
- Learn how to use good body language. Most communication is done through BL and only a small percentage is done through the words you speak. BL can be learned very quickly so I highly recomment it.


Theres no need to rush out and get a woman. If you want women then work on yourself and you'll attract them. Don't base your happiness either on women. You have to be happy with yourself firstly before anybody else can.

 

[intrextrovert]

I'd first work at having more friends/being more outgoing in general HS than worry about girls. Social proof is a lot in HS, and typically if you're a loner you don't have that advantage at all, and for some girls makes you off limits. Work on your friendships and social skills, being outgoing (and yes, for many of us it takes an effort, but believe me it gets massively easier as you go on, like a snowball effect) as these are things you NEED to be happy in the world. A girl is nice, but girls come and go and you don't need them like you need general social skills.

Get off your computer and playing games more. If you smoke weed, always smoke with others. Every once in a while to blow some steam smoking alone is alright, but you want to be more social. Smoke with others, and smoke at most a few times a week. Plus it's more fun imo.

If you really are set on getting laid along with this, i advise you this: game other places, as you can be your best self and not whoever you're stereotyped in school. Also, parties with drank. Alcohol really opens up possibilities, and is one of the only ways (around here) a guy can go far on one night. Besides the actual effects, girls can act slutty/do what they want without getting ****, because "Oh i was drunk" even if they weren't.

 

[Yookiwooki]

People are like mirrors. They will reflect back to you whatever mood you are expressing. If you talk to someone and they seem nervous and upset for no apparent reason, it is probably because you are acting nervous and upset.

If you're having a bad day, try not to act depressed in public. If you're having a good day, make sure everyone knows it as soon as they see you!

 

[It's-Me]

So I am a senior in highschool, I have never danced, kissed, had a girlfriend...nothing. I know, very lame. By the end of highschool I really want to get laid, I know if I dont I will regret it for the rest of my life. I really, really need all the help I can get. I am very serious about this, If you are a troll PLEASE DO NOT POST HERE! I am a real guy and I really desperately want this.

At school, I have very little friends, I have no friends I can hang out with during lunch...I have them, I just dont want to bother anyone, I dont have fun with them... I actually sleep on the toilet...pathetic, I know, I just don't like to be seen alone during lunch and I dont have fun with my friends. I can socialize well, I just can never pull the trigger, in anything in life...I cant ask for help, I cant ask if for if I can go with person A or B...I just dont want to seem annoying.

We have 10 minute breaks in between classes. I usually walk the halls alone. I like it, I feel it might make me look creepy, but maybe mysterious to some girls? I dont know what girls like...thats not good.

Why did I even mention all this? Well it validates my next point being that I cant get girls outside of school because I cant get any people to help me. I want one from the school, its the only way. I live out in the middle of no where and don't have a car anyways, I take a school bus to school and there are no public busses where I live. So they must be from school. I spend 90% of my free time playing games on my computer and smoking weed while I do it.


The one thing I have on my side is I am very good looking, at least I think I am, well, I guess I know I am (obviously it still doesn't help my confidence) girls look at me a lot in the halls and in class, attractive ones and not so attractive ones, I can't tell if it is because I am attractive or not but I think it is.

They don't smile they just look at my face until I look at them... they look away very quickly when I get close or look at them back...or maybe its me who does that when I look at them looking at me... There are ALOT of girls who do this, often the same ones. I dont know what to do without looking creepy here, Like I said I cant pull the trigger for ****, so obviously that means I have approach anxiety with people I don't know well, I feel like I cant be sure that they are actually interested or not...how can I tell? How should I approach them? What do I do??

Its only girls who do this by the way, never guys, I am completely invisible to most guys. No guys ever mess with me though, the first and last time some guy did in the halls I gave him a world class ass kicking ( I am very skinny and 5'8 but I am a 1st degree black belt ), he was a lot bigger then me too, this isn't a very big deal with girls because it was a while back 2 years ago. I am in a very small school where everyone knows everyone though.


Please help me, I really wanted to get things going this year... I missed winter formal already...thats one thing I will never get to experience in my life now, its going to kill me if I miss prom too...PLEASE HELP!!! In any way you can, motivate me, give me advice...ANYTHING! If you need any more info please let me know.

Yeah I understand... I really want to get laid too and I know it's going to happen soon the way I'm going at it. Seriously, dances are the best place to meet women - you can have so much fun.

I'm a bit in the same situation with friends... if I only I was in a different school I would have much more friends, but I'm starting to make friends more and more now. I understand how you feel about not being seen alone, but you have to learn to not give a **** about what people think. Bro, if your thinking that by asking questions and meeting people it's annoying and bothers them, they will perceive it that way. YOU HAVE TO THINK THAT PEOPLE WANT TO TALK TO YOU!

I would just follow a crowd of friends before, not really saying anything. Now, I talk to almost anyone and teachers too.

I'm sure you there's other people on the bus with you, talk to them. Make friends, go to events where you can socialize, meet people. Find something your passionate about, and STOP SMOKING SOME ****ING WEED - your just hiding from the real problem. Take it and face it like a man. Focus on your studies, have pride in what you do.

I'm good looking too, and I've had girls tell me so. You still have to know how talk to them though!

Just do what you feel like it... If you feel it's creepy than the girl will feel the same way. It's that simple!

That's good man. I'm about 5"8 too and skinny, I'm working out at the moment so getting bigger. Yeah I'm in a small school too.

YOU HAVE TO BE MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED, SIMPLE AS THAT.

 

[naes420]

Ok lets not get into the you are not good looking thing I will give pic on request, I have been told by alot of girls I am good looking. Also I am not a bad ass I dont go around trying to get in fights, as I mentioned I am a 1st degree black belt so I most defiantly try to avoid fights whenever I can and have. Weed is not a mask for me I smoke it because it entertains me when I am bored at home all the time. Also its not that I dont have friends, I just dont want to intude on them during whatever they do. I like to be alone, people just dont understand that, I would just assume it would make people think I am wierd, thats why I say that. I dont look or act wierd at all. I have the social skills, I just am brain dead when it comes to picking up girls! I am very not confident of myself when it comes to girls and I dont know what to say to them on a cold approuch,.

 

[It's-Me]

Ok lets not get into the you are not good looking thing I will give pic on request, I have been told by alot of girls I am good looking. Also I am not a bad ass I dont go around trying to get in fights, as I mentioned I am a 1st degree black belt so I most defiantly try to avoid fights whenever I can and have. Weed is not a mask for me I smoke it because it entertains me when I am bored at home all the time. Also its not that I dont have friends, I just dont want to intude on them during whatever they do. I like to be alone, people just dont understand that, I would just assume it would make people think I am wierd, thats why I say that. I dont look or act wierd at all. I have the social skills, I just am brain dead when it comes to picking up girls! I am very not confident of myself when it comes to girls and I dont know what to say to them on a cold approuch,.

So find something better to do and stop smoking weed.

Why don't you want to intrude on them? They'll probably have more fun with you while they're doing something... and who knows maybe it might open your eyes and you could find a new activity/pass time.

Why is it you like to be alone? Is it because people don't understand you?

I'm sure you've heard it before: talk about anything. It's true, talk to them about something that happened in school, a funny situation in class, anything ****! It doesn't matter until you keep the conversation flowing.

 

[jeffthechef]

stop smoking weed for whatever reason you are taking it anyways

no one likes to be alone...it's human nature to interact...and like the guy above me said..it's mostly likely you think this is true because you think no one understands you..and if so that's never true...

so why doi you like being alone?

 

[ExcelNPrevail]

I honestly felt like a small punch to my heart after reading your post. The reason being is it reminded me so much of myself in most of my high school years.

I would sit in the cafeteria and see everyone socializing having a great time, while I would just sit there and wish that was me. But most of the time I would just eat my food and leave out the cafeteria and walk around the school till time passed by. I know exactly what you feel, its a very terrible nasty feeling.

I got over this slowly but surely. Here's how I did it:

*Start by 5 approaches to random people. It doesn't matter whether its a girl or boy (I would prefer you do women though.) Even though women are a problem for you Its people in general who are the problem. Since you seem to not even truly socialize even with the people you know.

So approach at least 5 people. The opener I would recommend is "Hi, Hows It Going?" Take it from there and if you mess up .....good your already in progress. Because then all you have to do is analyze what you did wrong and practice again from there again.

I had a hard time dealing with this next statement but its the absolute truth, and you may come to it on your journey, "You cant cut corners in Life, everything worth while has a cost."

Whether the cost be the nasty feeling of out of your "comfort zone" or just "embarrassment". Its all well worth it.

As for the dancing, since you live in a remote place, as you say. There may be no dancing studios there. So either look at dancing videos on youtube or some other website. Or if you do well!!....you can get a women to teach you...now wouldn't that be awesome???

Yeah it would.

Best of luck.

 

[DamHE]

I honestly felt like a small punch to my heart after reading your post. The reason being is it reminded me so much of myself in most of my high school years.

same except it isnt reminding me of the past its reminding me of every damn day of my life

every day i see girls hugging guys and having great conversations w/ them; while i sit bymyself in the corner of the class. for those of you who are saying 'oh just be more social' its way different when you're in a small town & small school. your reputation never changes because everyone knows everyone, and the 'groups' dont have a need for a new person in their group.. every year, 2 or 3 new kids come and so far every new kid is an outcast just like i was when i came in 9th grade

sry just wanted to say that...

 

[naes420]

I honestly felt like a small punch to my heart after reading your post. The reason being is it reminded me so much of myself in most of my high school years.

I would sit in the cafeteria and see everyone socializing having a great time, while I would just sit there and wish that was me. But most of the time I would just eat my food and leave out the cafeteria and walk around the school till time passed by. I know exactly what you feel, its a very terrible nasty feeling.

I got over this slowly but surely. Here's how I did it:

*Start by 5 approaches to random people. It doesn't matter whether its a girl or boy (I would prefer you do women though.) Even though women are a problem for you Its people in general who are the problem. Since you seem to not even truly socialize even with the people you know.

So approach at least 5 people. The opener I would recommend is "Hi, Hows It Going?" Take it from there and if you mess up .....good your already in progress. Because then all you have to do is analyze what you did wrong and practice again from there again.

I had a hard time dealing with this next statement but its the absolute truth, and you may come to it on your journey, "You cant cut corners in Life, everything worth while has a cost."

Whether the cost be the nasty feeling of out of your "comfort zone" or just "embarrassment". Its all well worth it.

As for the dancing, since you live in a remote place, as you say. There may be no dancing studios there. So either look at dancing videos on youtube or some other website. Or if you do well!!....you can get a women to teach you...now wouldn't that be awesome???

Yeah it would.

Best of luck.

Thank you I will take some of that to heart.

same except it isnt reminding me of the past its reminding me of every damn day of my life

every day i see girls hugging guys and having great conversations w/ them; while i sit bymyself in the corner of the class. for those of you who are saying 'oh just be more social' its way different when you're in a small town & small school. your reputation never changes because everyone knows everyone, and the 'groups' dont have a need for a new person in their group.. every year, 2 or 3 new kids come and so far every new kid is an outcast just like i was when i came in 9th grade

sry just wanted to say that...

Wow, story of my life right there. The only friends I have are my brothers friends and my weed dealer.

That story fits me entirely, I have been in the district ever since I was little but when highschool came it all fell apart. Freshmen year I was a alone the whole year I was a totaly reject. In my sophomore year I fell into a bad crowd, I had a kind of intervention...then I was the hot **** for a month, then I fell off the radar ever since then, I trained like crazy during all my free time, every damn minute, and got my belt. Now here I am in my senior year like I was my freshman and junior year, except I have shredded the bad rep completely and I am better looking like I said. Now I am here.

 

[naes420]

Sorry for double post, let me add one of the reasons I am so afraid to approuch girls and get a girlfriend is because what are they going to think of my uneventful boring life? Whenever someone asks me what I did over the weekend I have nothing to say. What am I gonna do when I get a girl? I am so boring....

I have finally taken alot of time to think this through, I think the reason im so pathetic is because I dont really believe I can entertain people, guys yeah, but if I where to act the same way around girls they would think I was a freak. And not to mention my boring life and afraid to ask questions...

 

[DamHE]

yo just chill you only have half a year until you go to college... there everyone is new at first so social groups are formed quickly. i am stuck here for another 2 and a half years.......jeez im up at f'ing 1:35am because i hate school so much and rather spend every ounce of my free time on a place where i can actually fit in.. online

 

[S.Y.L]

What are you a black belt in?

 

[Crazy Asian]

I am not going to post a picture because hundreds of people are online here at once I just am not taking that chance it is someone I know. If you really want to see me I will send it in private message.

i understand, but this is a reflection of part of your problem.
you are so afraid of showing the real you, in fear that people might not like you.
but start trying to live like you have nothing to hide.
push yourself to do things you think people will find awkward.
do what you want and fvck them if they don't like it.
of course, nothing too out of line.

you shouldn't be afraid of people know you on this site.
you are trying to improve yourself....wut's wrong with that?

just let go.
do things because you feel like it.
feeling good comes within (your confidence), and not from your environment (how other people react/see you)

 

[Arizona iced tea]

dude, if you make a goal like saying you have to get laid by the end of high school you are setting yourself up for disappointment... not that it isnt a good thing to aim for, it can be a tough kinda goal for someone in your position; i know i was there once.

what you need to do is just keep on working towards that, but take away the time constraints... just watch your progress and work on it everyday. know that it will come when the time is right and be ready when you get the chance.

 

[naes420]

I dont even know where to start. I can get laid I just need to know where to start.