Self respect and what it really means

[Alphathree]

As I read through today's "help, I have this girl problem" posts, I can't help but feel bad for mankind. And I do mean "man"kind. All the pick-up lines in the world will not save you guys from this state of grovelling over women.

You chase, you approach, you analyze, you hope, you pursue, you fantasize. You may even score a few women for short periods of time or for longer if the other guys around are even MORE pathetic than you.

You have to respect yourself and place value on your time and attention. You need to learn to be alone and be completely happy. Once you have this, you can create whatever reality with whatever women you want.

But so long as you need women, you will never get them. It's true-- it doesn't make any sense.

Stop chasing after a hot pair of legs... stop salivating at nice skin. It is SO pathetic. We've giving all the power to women, but they're not designed to be leaders... to be men. So they've simply started to become corrupt.

We men need to regain our dignity and our leadership. I feel like a member of some sort of secret society because while all of these poor souls pander after women, I'm secretly moving from one to the next. Wait, I _AM_ a member of a secret society.

I've learned how to be satisfied with my life, with my women, with my relationships. I'm not perfect, but I'm getting better and better.

And now I really want to help. Because I don't want to feel like Winston in 1984, having a real relationship in a secret apartment while the rest of the world brainwashes itself into oblivion.

It's like there's a blizzard of disrespect toward men out there and I've built myself an apartment that blocks out all the snow. But even though I can live in my apartment, I'm still discontented by the blizzard outside.

Maybe, for example, we could have a day of the week where EVERYONE on this message board agrees to not interact with women. If you have dates, you cancel politely. If you get phone calls, you don't pick up. If you get emails, you dont respond.

Just one day... randomly... every week. And on that day, everyone would promise to go out with their guy friends (or for some of you, to GET some friends) and do whatever it is YOU want to do.

But that's just my suggestion... I already have days like that... but I'd make them extra-special for myself if I knew there were some people out there getting back their respect on that same day.

 

[guitaronfire411]

Definitely. If the girl is showing mixed signals or has hinted that she isn't interested, it's time to move on.

From there, let her do some of the work!

 

[Skydiver43127]

...you're right. We're men, we don't need some stupid girls....
...then be happy all by yourself, I'm gonna get myself some women.... But isn't that too harsh?.... That's all well and good, but my girlfriend said....

That's what I expect to read in this topic in some days from now. Let's see if I'm a psychic.

 

[Cougar10033]

Good post Alpha three !

 

[Alphathree]

Originally posted by Sicarius
It's a very good post, but I've a question about it.

Imagine that a hypothetical man has high self-esteem. Say he has hobbies and no strong deterrants like a bad personality or whatever. Say, further, that after the chasing/thinking/hoping he decides that it's absurd to have a terminator-like screen in front of his eyes scrolling "3secs, neg, SOI, IOI, IOI, acronym, etc... etc.." evaluating her just merely TALKING.. And he says ENOUGH and stops.

But let's say that he just talks to women with an attitude of "be respectful or I'll next you cuz you aren't worth it if you don't like me" and doesn't get girls?

He will have jettisoned that part of his life.

What if girls don't fall in love or lust with guys who are just obliviously neutral like that?

This hypothetical guy is doing something wrong i.e. he has self-esteem issues, neediness issues, hygiene issues, or something like that.

Respecting yourself isn't "neutral". If you respect yourself, you'll stand tall, move slowly, talk deeply, and so on. You'll REALLY stand out because most people don't respect themselves.

I wish you guys could watch me "game" a woman. It would slip right under your radar. I don't do _anything_, and I'm not an attractive guy either. (6'0" 145 lbs!)

It's just that what I believe about myself and the world around me is subcommunicated in everything I do. I don't have to consciously do it because I really do believe I am enough.

(That wasn't always the case.)

This is everything. This isn't just women. It's how to live.

Now, I never approach women, or pick them up, or lust after them, or anything like that. I know which ones are attracted to me and I just take the ones I want. It feels so right.

I evaluate like mad. Is she emotionally stable? Healthy? Trustworthy? Respectful?

There's a little bit of a catch. Once you assume a leadership role in your life, you can't just screw any woman even if they are available to you.

You have to show restraint and integrity. If you're screwing random women, you won't respect yourself as much. She has to earn it and be worth it.

So I don't actually sleep with that many women (although I do get a lot of makeouts) because I now only sleep with the RIGHT women. It's actually a very disrespectful thing to sleep with a woman and then ditch her unless she knew that's what was going to happen. And any quality woman would not let that happen.

You have to be REALLY well connected with the men in your life, too. Because if you start showing up to things with two or three hot women and you don't pay any attention to the men, they're going to hate you and get jealous.

You have to always, always network the crap out of any of the men in your life. Make them feel important. Otherwise they'll all become jealous backstabbing haters. If you make them feel good, they'll be like, "well obviously he deserves the girls."

Wow, what a long rant.

 

[tmpgstx]

Well said, it goes back the leadership role that men should be in when taking action in their life, whatever it may be.

Women respect this as do other men. You get the quality girl by being the quality guy. Most everyone has some negative experiences before finding a good long-term stable relationship with that significant other.

Some go through hell to reach their paradise as do some women. Not everyone gets the relationships they want though, because they either don't fix what's broke or do not have enough self-respect to make the changes.

 

[Mr. Cardio]

ALPHA, what you are is the dominant male, it shows through your body language, voice tone, etc, and when you walk in the room, you can just tell bytches are attracted to you adn all you did was sit the fvck down.............if guys would understand this attraction shyt, stuff like NLP, and all teh nice guy crap would not even be an option.

 

[ougoalie]

H*** ya I agress completely guys we can't let women control us. We have to be independent people that do not rely on women but just ourselves. They are just a bonus in our lives not your whole life. You can't depend on them to be around all the time. Just have confidence in yourself and be free. After all we are all alone to begin with in this world and will die that way as well. No need to worry about something your have no control over. Just live and have no regrets cause you can't change the past.

 

[skeeloo]

this is one of them good posts iv seen in a while ..last night i was at a club and this girl was always by my side wanted me to hit on her i wasnt in the mood she looked like a slut and she was i had seen her several times b4 and she's the kinda girl that clubs 5 days a week, i know some guys are so used to puting women on a high horse that any interest a woman shows them they act like its a blessing from god, and some guys couldnt understand why i didnt hit on her.

its difficult when you have friends that dont know how to act like guys with value we see a pair of nice legs and they drool and im the only one in the group that isnt fazed they dont get my mindset and they think im gay or something and i agree its best you guys learn to be comfortable with being lonly it will help you in the long run if a girl decides to leave your ass.

i can walk away from any girl on earth even if she's a hb 20 i dont give a **** if she acts too bad she's outta my face.

its funny how girls think they are doing you a favour by making themselevs avaliable to you. another thing that happened was some girl saying i think im too good for them just cause im not in the mood to hit on them..they are soo used to guy throwing themselves at them that they cant stand me not being interested.

all the same good thread.

 

[dannyme]

Very nice post guys.
I do agree self respect is so important.

Thank you for the great read.