Screwed up?

[NobodyCares1]

Everthing began on Saturday, I was supposed to meed a girl that I know for a month, we go out together quite often, mostly after school.

So I came to the bus stop, she called me and said that the bus she was supposed to go on was cancelled and that the next bus is coming in an hour. Since she was just about 10 km away and I'm an adventurous type I said that we will walk and we will meet halfway. I know that it was kinda stupid move to walk so far because of her but anyway. We walked back to the town. She complained a bit that I didn't write to her when I was on FB but I just said that she didn't write to me either, then she said that she won't write to me first anymore. She was friendly after that, we kissed, I did a lot of KINO, teased her, then walked her to the bus, we hugged, kissed and said that we will meet again on Monday.

So Monday came, I waited for her agiain, she came but said that she's going with her best friend (female), I know her best friend too but she kinda said it like she wouldn't want me to come with them. I should've turned around and left then, but I didn't. I came with her and told her that she could've at least let me know that she was going with her, her response to that was just that she doesn't have enough credit to write a text message. And then said that I coud've write to her (probably referring to the FB texting). So we walked for a while but she was mainly talking with her friend. Then I just said to her "nice" when her friend was a bit further away. She looked at me and said to her friend "He's angry at me." Her friend said "Then talk to him for a while instead." but they still talked to eachother. After a while she began to talk with me a bit more but I was already angry.

Then I had to go home. So I came close to her she said bye, I said bye but none of us moved, we just looked at eachother. Her friend then said "You two say goodbye to eachother" and went a bit further and turned around.

So I came closer to her, put my hands on her waist and said "Aren't you going to hug me?" She then slowly hugged me, we kissed and said bye. She also said that she has time friday after school, and that's when we usually meet.

But the way she acted was quite disrespecting but I'm not sure what to do next? No contact or something else? Don't really want to screw things with her.

btw. I already wrote about her in some other threads so if you need more background you can find it there

Also I told about this to my female friend. She usually gives terrible advices although she thinks they are good, but she might be right about one thing, that the girl might think that I don't care about her that much.

 

[Greasy Pig]

On the contrary, OP, I'd say she thinks you care too much.
You sound like you're always available and you sound like you are always trying to impress her.
I hate being the meat in a girl's "friend sandwich". If she said she was bringing a friend, just pleasantly make your excuses and tell her to have a good time and to contact you when she's done.
Hell man, I can hardly remember what it was like with chicks when I was 18 but I do know you should be using these years to get good grades and set yourself up for life.
Then you'll be swimming in pvssy.

 

[bluenorther]

I read an interesting opinion at a-ology just now: If you're going to be such a wally that you can't ask for proper DATE, instead of just "hanging out", you can't object when she decides to bring a friend. You also cannot object if she chooses to make the date something for herself.

 

[NobodyCares1]

She wasn't supposed to bring a friend and she didn't let me know she was going with her, though it wasn't oficially a date. But something similar happened two weeks back. We were talking about when we could meet and I said wednesday, she then said she wanted to go with that friend but she cancelled it then. She went with me instead.

Also she once brought a different friend that she was going to buy some shoes with, and then it was fine, she was acting nice and talked also with me.

On the over avaliable, well yes but that's mainly because whe arrange dates when I have free time. But anyways so I shouldn't go out with her on friday? Wait a bit?

bluenorther: It's more complicated than you think, anyway we took it as minidates most of the time, but that's not even the point, I'm not angry that she brought a friend, that's fine with me but the way she acted, as if she wanted me to leave because she is going with her friend.

 

[alxrose04]

On the contrary, OP, I'd say she thinks you care too much.
You sound like you're always available and you sound like you are always trying to impress her.
I hate being the meat in a girl's "friend sandwich". If she said she was bringing a friend, just pleasantly make your excuses and tell her to have a good time and to contact you when she's done.
Hell man, I can hardly remember what it was like with chicks when I was 18 but I do know you should be using these years to get good grades and set yourself up for life.
Then you'll be swimming in pvssy.

This is good advice right here. In this situation, you have two options and either one will leave you looking like a cool guy.
Option 1. - You could leave and let her have time with her friend. You could make some excuse, smile, let her know you have somewhere to be, give her a kiss on the cheeck and leave. This will make you look like you have a life other than her and will not drop the world for her. This is very attractive.

Option 2 - Adapt. Being adaptable is another great quality. When you found out the friend came, you could've said "Hey! Now I have two body guards!" and had a 3 way conversation. This would show that you are adaptable and great around her friend which is a sexy trait. (If you want to take it to the evil genius level, you could've positioned yourself in between them, that way you are in the middle of every conversation and in prime position to control the interaction!)

Just my two cents.....

 

[NobodyCares1]

axlrose04: Well yeah, good advice though kinda useless now, it has already happened and I need an advice what to do with her next, I don't want to take that disrespect from her because she will just be doing it again and again, or leave me.

And once again, I didn't mind that she brought a friend, but the way she told me when we met, she was all just like, I'm going with her, I'm going with her basically not acknoweledging me. Her friend was actually the first to start a meaningful conversation with me.

But maybe I'm overreacting a bit, anyway some time of NC won't hurt.

 

[alxrose04]

You have the right idea with her not getting away with things you don't like. But you got the right idea. Some time away would be a good idea. Just don't let too much time go by. You don't want the fire between you two to go out. When you talk again, keep it upbeat, light and fun. But no worries though, you know what to do next time.

 

[NobodyCares1]

So today she rang me on my phone, I didn't rang back so she sent me a text message "So you are really mad at me huh. Fine but I really don't have any credit left so now I can't even ring you. Bye." I didn't write back to her, now I don't want her to get the idea that I'm angry because she didn't let me know. I am angry also because of that but I wouldn't be if she was acting differently.

Anyway right now I'm thinking if I should go out with her tomorrow, or wait till Monday, or even longer... As axlrose04 said, it's about timing, if I wait too long she'll lose interest, but if I don't wait long enough it might be useless.

 

[NobodyCares1]

So I pussied out and went out with her today, now I don't really know how to feel about all this.

Basically I was in a mindset to ignore her today, but as it is sometimes, my friends wanted to do some prank, they took my phone and wrote a text message to her: "Hi, I'm going to fvck you". So I sent her another saying "Don't mind that, my friend wrote that "
Her "Oh, well fine then"
Me "And what would happen if it would be me who wrote that?"
Her "I don't know, I'd probably stop talking to you."

I didn't reply back, after school I had nothing to do because all of my friends went home or someplace so I decided to call her. We met and just said hi. Talked fir a while and then somewhat got to the point when we were discussing how is it between us and whether she likes me, well to that she said that she doesn't know if she likes me. Though about three weeks ago she sent a text message to me and at the end she wrote that she likes me, she even said that to me later. Anyway she said that she doesn't know and I said that I think she does like me and that she could greet me in a nicer way etc. It somehow grew to a bit of an argue I can't really recall all the details but I said to her that if she's going to act like that (like on Monday) that I'm going home right away. She just responded with "I don't care." So I said bye to her and turned it around went home.

In about a minute I got a text from her "Well I didn't thought this about you, well fine, bye." I called her after that, told her to go back and we met again. The discussion continued, I told her why I'm angry about the Monday. Her excuse was that she didn't know that we were supposed to meet, but that's just bull$hit because she didn't say anything about that on Monday, she knew wery well that we were supposed to meet. Anyway I then took her for a walk, we didn't talk. After 15 minutes I grabbed her hand and hugged her. After basically not talking for a couple of another minutes I hugged her again, went for the kiss. Repeated all that for a while. We talked during that but not much, but after a while she began talking more and we talked again for about 20 minutes, then I went to the bus stop with her.

She smiled at some guy friend of hers there, I just looked at her and said "Well, you smiled at him and not at me, even when you like me a lot." She looked at me with a little smile and said "Who said that I like you?" I replied "No one, but no one has to say it, I just know it."

Then her bus came, we were both more at ease then, smiling, she asked me who sent her that text message about the fvcking. I said to her who it was and asked her why didn't she like it, that it was a nice text message. We laughed for a bit, she then came close to me said bye, we kissed. I still looked at her and said "You could say bye to me even nicer." She knew that I was reffering to the hug and replied "I'm too tired to put my hands up" I looked at her laughing and said "That's the worst excuse that I've ever heard" She came close to me again hugged me, kissed me and we said bye again. And that's the end.

Though right now I'm confused what's going to happen next, but now I'm completely determined not to ask her out again untill she does it first. Let her miss me a bit, or not, but then I'll have some closure at least.