So the female mind is a strange thing.
But the male mind is powerful. I have deliberately been running game on my separated wife.
So obviously the question I'd put to you guys is what do you think of her flirting behavior?
Well, to give you some parameters:
I act aloof and indifferent, confident (I always talk without insecurity), I listen to her (LTR significant), we kino one another (this has picked up in the last month and was innitiated by her. She rubs her breasts deliberately against me when taking our child from my arms, she touches my arms, back, shoulder - all none to obvious but present all the same. She smiles and has brighter eyes now, her face is not indifferent, its positive. She enjoys a hug when I give one to her - then when I pull back she looks at me and touches my arm as I withdraw. We high five.
I also act fun and show my manly traits. I make jokes and make her laugh. I dont backpedal, I tease her. I flirt back when she flirts. I establish and maintain my dominance. I tell her what to do, and I assist her. I clean up after kids lunch and show my appreciation when I am there (important nesting thing), but I also dont make it so I spend each second with her. On an average week I would spend roughly 4 hours of one on one time with her. This is on saturday nights and she always sees if I am staying back once the kids are asleep. We watch a movie, get pizza (which she would not be able to do otherwise).
We collaborate with gifts. She bought me a gift (from the kids lol) for my birthday, which surprised me, and then I scratched together a gift. A stress relief pack, unique b/c I made it. She was impressed. We are doing christmas gifts.
She missed me when she went on a holiday - that I pulled out of. She wished I had never moved out once I did move out. But agreed it was for the best.
We still do a lot of the relationship things, like co-operating, working together and our arguing (mild) ceased around 2 months ago.
I did a reconcile letter (clean slate method...basically 2 non-soppy paragraphs that tweak a womens mind and heart to open it up) and after that things got a lot better. Then I let her know that I was hoping we could eventually but not right away get back together "if the stars aligned" I said. She said that I should not wait for her to change her mind. She said that she thought the chemistry was gone. I immediately began running game on her to prove her wrong
So, here is the breif now of it from then.
- Clean slate method and I say we should speak freely round one another b/c we were not sharing anything other than kids info. ----> she responds by doing so and we chat a lot now. I make a point of not calling on phone, but the one time I did to chat with my oldest girl she also talked to me happily. I jumped off first.
- She said we lost chemistry and felt nothing was there. I dont know if this was true but its only what she verbalized. ---> I Immediately begin to run game. She responds favorably. More happy and upbeat around me. We go to a kids swim-school function. She rides on my back in the pool and I make sure we have a great time. Make sure she has a new experience by going on slide. She still has a good bod.
- Make a point of checking her out. Make a point of holding eye contact and acting alpha. Good response. ----> she starts to kino me. Brushing against me when she does not have to, touching me, leaving her hand dangle on my arm, holding on after hug. all the usual stuff. Initiating high fives, smiles etc.
- For her birthday I did a covert "remember" letter. In it I recounted all the great times we had and it just meant that we would become better friends. And I am glad we are now just friends. -----> she immiediately talks about old times, right after reading the letter, and continually here and there each time we meet. "Do you remember when....." "Did you know this about when we....."
- She asks me to come to the shops with her to buy baby pj's. Have fun time in car on the way, and flirting verbally. She buys new dresses as well plus a bra. She talks about the bra to me. (she's initiating all this stuff). She tries to get a level on what I think of how she looks with the bra thing. "Oh, I am not able to wear stuff like when we met. Its just a normal bra. I want to get down to the correct size before I go and buy anything flash" She shows it to me, looks at me. I uphold her self esteem while at the same time not sucking her ass. More fun ensures after this. I stay all day, she wants to get movies for the night and for the kids before they goto bed. We get along well and co-operate perfectly, stay and watch movie. Get a great deal on pizza which she is very excited about. Watch movie, then go and chat. We are both tired. It was a great day, so the only extra physical contact apart from kino is the hug goodbye, but today I decide to leave it out. She seemed to hover waiting for it, staying close.
- During that day she puts on a dress and shows it to me. "what do you think."... "Looks good. Do a spin for me".....she gleefully spins around. Happy mood set. She goes and chucks on the other 3 dresses and shows them to me. each time I get slightly less interested as a test. She tries slightly harder to make sure I see. But obviously I did not ignore her or make myself distant, I only upped the bar, so to speak.
- She goes and gets her hair done. Puts in streaks. She takes me into our old bedroom to show me christmas gifts. Thats where she asks if I noticed her hair. The room was darkish and I had not stopped moving that day til I got in the bedroom. Having not noticed, she decides to bring it up. Great I say, looks really good (paraphrasing all these convos) we go outside talking about the hairdo. Knowing about women, they want you to hear all the details, every little one. I pay attention, reflect it back. Then I just go over and let her know I'm going to touch it. "yeah great job, looks good on you, Its nice and soft" run my fingers through her hair. No resistance.
- Kino and flirting escalates. She will innitiate kino, but the verbal flirting innitiated by me is always given back. Normal new-couples flirting. Non sexual in nature. I do bust her balls tho.
- she mentions how she is going to lose weight. (she wants to lose 8 kgs), taking her back to 50. She wants her boobs to bounce back, and look like she did when we met.
- We used to sit far apart on the couch, but since I started game, she sits as close as she can without being in my face.
- Lots of eye contact, laughing now, jokes. She said I took the fun out of everything (before game) -----> now every interaction is either fun or at least positive. I dont say anything negative.
- The other night she told me she was very glad for our new friendship (as opposed to where we were at before) as we stood close outside talking. We were both tired. I leave, refuse to get involved in a hug as she hovers close. I did not want to be seen to join that statement with a non sexy hug. May have been a mistake, dunno, but prob not at all.
So thats where its at. As far as I can tell she wants to lose weight and told me, she has new hair do and wanted me to see it and aprove (do you like it? she asks), she bought new dresses and showed them to me. She talks openly to me. She flirts and kino's. She is happy to spend time with me. She does not like it if I miss something. Mentioned one christmas function but then I did not go to the next weeks one and she said it would have been great to be there - that she wished i was there since it was a great day and "we" meaning her and kids would have loved it. She is starting to ask me to goto non-nessarsary things when I can. Like shops, etc.
Now, she has little spare time, if any. No really, her day is time-poor. She does Uni from home, has 2 kids, and needs to keep the house clean (which it is) and the gardens done (which they are). Then she has activities to goto for the kids each day.
I am trying to keep my ego out of this and have told it how it is. But remember I did all this with GAME. Before game, I got nowhere, now I game, I am getting somewhere.
Would you say these are the actions of a girl who would like to explore the opportunity to be with me again, even if its a take it slow approach (we became strangers basically for a while there before I moved out)
Or does it sound like she is doing this not for me, but for when she meets other people?
It seems that we are coming closer emotionally and physically as well. It seems bizzare she would do all this at me then go and start seeing someone else. The other night she told me she was very glad for our new friendship. (I was the one who defined the term friendship for us. As in, I went ahead and made her my friend, not my separated wife. I made myself single)
I am running game again, acting aloof and she is filling in the vacuum. Before she said we felt rejected and like we did not click and I am removing these barriers all the time. It was my problem, not hers, in all the stress of kids and rough nights/busy days we lost touch. It seems like we are enjoying things again.
I would appreciate a neutral view about what is on her mind. But as you can see, game is making something happen here. But what. My personal view is that being the single mum with her workload is very demanding and she is missing me and what we had, and is testing the waters with no exact expectation.
But the male mind is powerful. I have deliberately been running game on my separated wife.
So obviously the question I'd put to you guys is what do you think of her flirting behavior?
Well, to give you some parameters:
I act aloof and indifferent, confident (I always talk without insecurity), I listen to her (LTR significant), we kino one another (this has picked up in the last month and was innitiated by her. She rubs her breasts deliberately against me when taking our child from my arms, she touches my arms, back, shoulder - all none to obvious but present all the same. She smiles and has brighter eyes now, her face is not indifferent, its positive. She enjoys a hug when I give one to her - then when I pull back she looks at me and touches my arm as I withdraw. We high five.
I also act fun and show my manly traits. I make jokes and make her laugh. I dont backpedal, I tease her. I flirt back when she flirts. I establish and maintain my dominance. I tell her what to do, and I assist her. I clean up after kids lunch and show my appreciation when I am there (important nesting thing), but I also dont make it so I spend each second with her. On an average week I would spend roughly 4 hours of one on one time with her. This is on saturday nights and she always sees if I am staying back once the kids are asleep. We watch a movie, get pizza (which she would not be able to do otherwise).
We collaborate with gifts. She bought me a gift (from the kids lol) for my birthday, which surprised me, and then I scratched together a gift. A stress relief pack, unique b/c I made it. She was impressed. We are doing christmas gifts.
She missed me when she went on a holiday - that I pulled out of. She wished I had never moved out once I did move out. But agreed it was for the best.
We still do a lot of the relationship things, like co-operating, working together and our arguing (mild) ceased around 2 months ago.
I did a reconcile letter (clean slate method...basically 2 non-soppy paragraphs that tweak a womens mind and heart to open it up) and after that things got a lot better. Then I let her know that I was hoping we could eventually but not right away get back together "if the stars aligned" I said. She said that I should not wait for her to change her mind. She said that she thought the chemistry was gone. I immediately began running game on her to prove her wrong
So, here is the breif now of it from then.
- Clean slate method and I say we should speak freely round one another b/c we were not sharing anything other than kids info. ----> she responds by doing so and we chat a lot now. I make a point of not calling on phone, but the one time I did to chat with my oldest girl she also talked to me happily. I jumped off first.
- She said we lost chemistry and felt nothing was there. I dont know if this was true but its only what she verbalized. ---> I Immediately begin to run game. She responds favorably. More happy and upbeat around me. We go to a kids swim-school function. She rides on my back in the pool and I make sure we have a great time. Make sure she has a new experience by going on slide. She still has a good bod.
- Make a point of checking her out. Make a point of holding eye contact and acting alpha. Good response. ----> she starts to kino me. Brushing against me when she does not have to, touching me, leaving her hand dangle on my arm, holding on after hug. all the usual stuff. Initiating high fives, smiles etc.
- For her birthday I did a covert "remember" letter. In it I recounted all the great times we had and it just meant that we would become better friends. And I am glad we are now just friends. -----> she immiediately talks about old times, right after reading the letter, and continually here and there each time we meet. "Do you remember when....." "Did you know this about when we....."
- She asks me to come to the shops with her to buy baby pj's. Have fun time in car on the way, and flirting verbally. She buys new dresses as well plus a bra. She talks about the bra to me. (she's initiating all this stuff). She tries to get a level on what I think of how she looks with the bra thing. "Oh, I am not able to wear stuff like when we met. Its just a normal bra. I want to get down to the correct size before I go and buy anything flash" She shows it to me, looks at me. I uphold her self esteem while at the same time not sucking her ass. More fun ensures after this. I stay all day, she wants to get movies for the night and for the kids before they goto bed. We get along well and co-operate perfectly, stay and watch movie. Get a great deal on pizza which she is very excited about. Watch movie, then go and chat. We are both tired. It was a great day, so the only extra physical contact apart from kino is the hug goodbye, but today I decide to leave it out. She seemed to hover waiting for it, staying close.
- During that day she puts on a dress and shows it to me. "what do you think."... "Looks good. Do a spin for me".....she gleefully spins around. Happy mood set. She goes and chucks on the other 3 dresses and shows them to me. each time I get slightly less interested as a test. She tries slightly harder to make sure I see. But obviously I did not ignore her or make myself distant, I only upped the bar, so to speak.
- She goes and gets her hair done. Puts in streaks. She takes me into our old bedroom to show me christmas gifts. Thats where she asks if I noticed her hair. The room was darkish and I had not stopped moving that day til I got in the bedroom. Having not noticed, she decides to bring it up. Great I say, looks really good (paraphrasing all these convos) we go outside talking about the hairdo. Knowing about women, they want you to hear all the details, every little one. I pay attention, reflect it back. Then I just go over and let her know I'm going to touch it. "yeah great job, looks good on you, Its nice and soft" run my fingers through her hair. No resistance.
- Kino and flirting escalates. She will innitiate kino, but the verbal flirting innitiated by me is always given back. Normal new-couples flirting. Non sexual in nature. I do bust her balls tho.
- she mentions how she is going to lose weight. (she wants to lose 8 kgs), taking her back to 50. She wants her boobs to bounce back, and look like she did when we met.
- We used to sit far apart on the couch, but since I started game, she sits as close as she can without being in my face.
- Lots of eye contact, laughing now, jokes. She said I took the fun out of everything (before game) -----> now every interaction is either fun or at least positive. I dont say anything negative.
- The other night she told me she was very glad for our new friendship (as opposed to where we were at before) as we stood close outside talking. We were both tired. I leave, refuse to get involved in a hug as she hovers close. I did not want to be seen to join that statement with a non sexy hug. May have been a mistake, dunno, but prob not at all.
So thats where its at. As far as I can tell she wants to lose weight and told me, she has new hair do and wanted me to see it and aprove (do you like it? she asks), she bought new dresses and showed them to me. She talks openly to me. She flirts and kino's. She is happy to spend time with me. She does not like it if I miss something. Mentioned one christmas function but then I did not go to the next weeks one and she said it would have been great to be there - that she wished i was there since it was a great day and "we" meaning her and kids would have loved it. She is starting to ask me to goto non-nessarsary things when I can. Like shops, etc.
Now, she has little spare time, if any. No really, her day is time-poor. She does Uni from home, has 2 kids, and needs to keep the house clean (which it is) and the gardens done (which they are). Then she has activities to goto for the kids each day.
I am trying to keep my ego out of this and have told it how it is. But remember I did all this with GAME. Before game, I got nowhere, now I game, I am getting somewhere.
Would you say these are the actions of a girl who would like to explore the opportunity to be with me again, even if its a take it slow approach (we became strangers basically for a while there before I moved out)
Or does it sound like she is doing this not for me, but for when she meets other people?
It seems that we are coming closer emotionally and physically as well. It seems bizzare she would do all this at me then go and start seeing someone else. The other night she told me she was very glad for our new friendship. (I was the one who defined the term friendship for us. As in, I went ahead and made her my friend, not my separated wife. I made myself single)
I am running game again, acting aloof and she is filling in the vacuum. Before she said we felt rejected and like we did not click and I am removing these barriers all the time. It was my problem, not hers, in all the stress of kids and rough nights/busy days we lost touch. It seems like we are enjoying things again.
I would appreciate a neutral view about what is on her mind. But as you can see, game is making something happen here. But what. My personal view is that being the single mum with her workload is very demanding and she is missing me and what we had, and is testing the waters with no exact expectation.
