RLE: Never Become Complacent

[TheException]

"Game is ever-vigilant". This is a statement that I repeat over and over and over again......and for good reason. 80% of the men in the world are chumps. And when some of the men in this category get into a relationship(finally), they are at high risk of collapsing like a house of cards and finding their way back to the pits of "chump city".

The game is NOT over simply because you have entered an exclusive relationship....in fact the game has just reached the next level. It is extremely easy for a guy to relax and slip back into old habits when hes got that "sure thing" going, but sooner or later things WILL get rocky if the man allows it. The word "will" denotes something that is "100% to happen", it is not an estimation, a guess, or prediction.....it is a matter of fact and the only question is "when?". Today lets look at a real life experience in the form of continuing to recognize bad behavior. and why it is important to notice.

Like I mentioned earlier, guys in relationships tend to relax and think everything is clear skies. They explain away every bad thing about their new lover and backwards rationalize unacceptable behavior or he11.......dont even notice the behavior. Below is an example of a situation that arose between me and my girlfriend.....and how I was judging the entire thing, even though we are in love and have been dating for quite awhile....REMEMBER....game is "ever-vigilant" it does NOT STOP just because you are in a relationship.

*random number texts gf "hey"*
HB: You think I should respond?
Exception: Go for it

TEXT CONVERSATION
GF: Who is this
#: Jake
GF: Jake who?
#: Riley

*GF explains to me that this is some guy she dated for "2 weeks" in high school*

GF: I have a boyfriend, why are you texting me.
# : I graduated college and am coming back home for a few weeks before I start my job.
GF: Doesnt change the fact that I have a boyfriend. We arent meeting up.

She passes with flying colors.

This is easily a scenario that a rocky relationship could take a plunge on. If my girlfriend had low interest in myself and of the relationship she could have explained this one away as "oh we just want to catch up" or anything of that sort. There is a HUGE difference between a woman hanging out with chump beta orbiters and a woman hanging out with an ex love interest........members on sosuave may not see the difference and demand she never hang out with ANY other males.....but that is foolish advice and fear misplaced. THESE....are the type of situations to avoid and to see how you girlfriend/plate/wife handles them......is almost a "male sh1t test". You should be judging and if she handles it wrong.....you confront. This would be an appropriate time for a "thunderbolt".

1. Never ever ever ever think your woman is perfect and that she is incapable of cheating.

2. Never ever ever ever stop judging behavior and recognizing sh1tty behavior.

3. Women with high interest in the relationship and attraction for the boyfriend will quickly dismiss any other male competition for fear of losing her man. Its not really about limiting male encounters....so much as if another man declares sexual interest.....that she quickly reject them and not entertain them.

4. Sex is a great barometer of a healthy relationship. Are you having sex atleast 4-5 times a week? Is she often "too tired" for sex?

 

[:-)]

If i was Jake I would think:

'Hmm, she says she has a boyfriend and that we aren't meeting up. Remembering to judge a woman on her actions and not her words I'm going to assume that because she responded she really is interested in meeting up but that her insecure boyfriend with nothing better to do must be hanging around watching her every move. i'll try again at another time. probably whilst he's busy creating another one of his bragging threads about how perfect his woman is.'

 

[El Payaso]

If i was Jake I would think:

'Hmm, she says she has a boyfriend and that we aren't meeting up. Remembering to judge a woman on her actions and not her words I'm going to assume that because she responded she really is interested in meeting up but that her insecure boyfriend with nothing better to do must be hanging around watching her every move. i'll try again at another time. probably whilst he's busy creating another one of his bragging threads about how perfect his woman is.'

Irrelevant. Seeing as your post is based purely on assumptions.

 

[RagingBalls]

It seems like your girlfriend talked very tense to him like she had a gun pointed in her head. lol *wink*



Do you also talk like that to your ex's?

Anyways, nice words on not being too complacent though.

 

[:-)]

Irrelevant. Seeing as your post is based purely on assumptions.

http://media3.giphy.com/media/QxdrWv8OW5LeE/200_s.gif

 

[JoeMarron]

Haha you guys always sh!t on TheException every time he posts one of these threads. I actually kind of agree with them this time though. It's easy for a girl to behave right when you're looking over her shoulder. Any chick with a little bit of respect for her man won't be dumb enough to try to meet with an ex while her man is watching. The true mark of good behavior is what she does when you aren't watching.

Your girlfriend should not be hanging out with *any* men one-on-one. If she desires such things, then she is worthy of only plate status.

Yep. There is absolutely no good reason why a chick who's into her man would want to hang out with another dude one on one. Hell I'm in a relationship and I don't even want to hang out with another chick one on one. What the hell can she get from another dude that she can't get from her man besides an extra c0ck

 

[adam225]

It was me, and she's hooking up with me in about an hours time. Exception, she ain't that loyal bro .

 

[asa_don]

the real test is if she says the same thing when you're not around. some dudes don't give up and try again.


*random number texts gf "hey"*
HB: You think I should respond?
Exception: Go for it

TEXT CONVERSATION
GF: Who is this
#: Jake
GF: Jake who?
#: Riley

*GF explains to me that this is some guy she dated for "2 weeks" in high school*

GF: I have a boyfriend, why are you texting me.
# : I graduated college and am coming back home for a few weeks before I start my job.
GF: Doesnt change the fact that I have a boyfriend. We arent meeting up.


this whole thing sounds like she planned for you to see she was being a good girlfriend and to get back at that guy. she gets a text from a random dude, lets you know about it, starts in being b1tchy with the guy telling him she has a bf and isn't meeting up. he probably pumped n dumped her in high school. she gets back at him and shows herself to be an honest gf to you. it's a win win for her. normal gf's dont make a big deal out of it like she did. seems like she has anger for that guy. if it was some random dude she wouldn't even care. she wanted to get back at him.

 

[TheException]

Irrelevant. Seeing as your post is based purely on assumptions.

Haha you guys always sh!t on TheException every time he posts one of these threads. I actually kind of agree with them this time though. It's easy for a girl to behave right when you're looking over her shoulder. Any chick with a little bit of respect for her man won't be dumb enough to try to meet with an ex while her man is watching. The true mark of good behavior is what she does when you aren't watching.

Its quite alright. "If you have haters you must be doing something right". I cant do anything for the "detractors". They will look high and low for anything they can disagree with because they are envious or jealous.

Its not "bragging"....its connecting with men who are in relationships. The things I post about are to keep men on their toes and teaching them to handle the "sticky situations" that come up in relationships. Now to address the morons....oh i mean "detractors".(tongue in cheek)

If i was Jake I would think:

'Hmm, she says she has a boyfriend and that we aren't meeting up. Remembering to judge a woman on her actions and not her words I'm going to assume that because she responded she really is interested in meeting up but that her insecure boyfriend with nothing better to do must be hanging around watching her every move. i'll try again at another time. probably whilst he's busy creating another one of his bragging threads about how perfect his woman is.'

..........moronic statement. Maybe not so tongue in cheek after all.

It seems like your girlfriend talked very tense to him like she had a gun pointed in her head. lol *wink*



Do you also talk like that to your ex's?

Anyways, nice words on not being too complacent though.

Thanks.

Very tense? I wouldnt say that. Id say its exactly how I expect her to react. Its pretty much how I would treat my ex's. Very brief and would be uninterested.

Your girlfriend should not be hanging out with *any* men one-on-one. If she desires such things, then she is worthy of only plate status.

Never invest in a woman who demands more than one man in her life (besides family of course).


The problem with your advice is, what are you going to do when she wants to hang out with a man who is not a "beta"?


Additionally, she sure seemed b1tchy there in her texts to the guy, almost like she just knew you were watching.

I think we have exhausted this discussion previously Danger. I just am not a CWAF like yourself. I dont live constantly afraid that she is out cheating 24/7. There is no reason to be fearful when there is no evidence of such things.

She seemed b1tchy? Well of course....its some guy after sex who she is not attracted to.....how did you expect her to react? Again.....I think your grasping at straws just to disagree about something. I have zero interest in that.

the real test is if she says the same thing when you're not around. some dudes don't give up and try again.

Absolutely correct.

Instead of being paranoid like the "detractors" that have posted.....I am not fearful that she would handle the situation different had I not been there. She did exactly what a high quality woman in an exclusive relationship would do......not entertain other "sexual" men. I even eluded to this in another thread where Danger asked what would happen if another alpha male tried to hang out.....i said she d reject him asap. Hes not orbiter material.

 

[Turuwal]

These things always have an element of damned if you do, damned if you don't. Here is my response to something similar.

HB: talking to any other guy
Me: wanna go halves?

HB: talking about any other guy
Me: we should have him and his girlfriend over for "dinner"

I would do it, and she knows I would do it. It definitely makes life easier for me because it gives me free reign to fvck other women and not even have to hide it. Like a few days ago I'm with one girl and texting another and she tries to read my texts so I say "you shouldn't watch while I'm texting my other girlfriends" so she apologises and we continue on like nothing has happened. It's like I can get away with sh!t that would get your average beta castrated.

But here's the funny thing. Not once in my life have I been taken up on my offer when put like the above examples. So in your opinion TheException does this make what I'm saying just another frame control tactic?

 

[El Payaso]

I think you guys are missing the point of his post. He put it in bold. Never stop recognizing bad behavior If a woman wants to cheat, she will cheat. What I got out of his post was to see red flags and be ready to call her out on it or walk away. Don't become complacent or submissive. Don't be needy or insecure either. Strike the right balance. Calmly state your point and move on. If she keeps up with the behavior, walk away. Don't argue or deliberate with her. Just walk away. Period.

 

[Turuwal]

I think you guys are missing the point of his post. He put it in bold. Never stop recognizing bad behavior If a woman wants to cheat, she will cheat. What I got out of his post was to see red flags and be ready to call her out on it or walk away. Don't become complacent or submissive. Don't be needy or insecure either. Strike the right balance. Calmly state your point and move on. If she keeps up with the behavior, walk away. Don't argue or deliberate with her. Just walk away. Period.

This is a good point. In my experience, girls only think they can get away with bad behaviour and talking about monogamy and other unacceptable stuff when they have a backup guy around, whether sexing him or not. So here is my current strategy.

For any girl who gets primary girlfriend privileges, I expect absolutely impeccable behaviour. She is allowed to see other guys if she wants, but she probably won't because she may think that I'm testing her and that I might lose respect for her if she does. (Is this just a frame control tactic on my part?)

For any other girls, I couldn't care less what they do, but if they want sex they have to do it on my terms. They will generally whine and complain about not having primary girlfriend privileges, but tough luck.

 

[G_Govan]

^^^I think that thread should be mandatory reading. I don't believe I've seen anyone express the sentiment quite like you did. A unique take.

 

[JoeMarron]

Help me understand. If she were to suddenly "hang out" with a guy that you didn't know, would you be ok with it?

What is the process for you to "approve" of who she hangs out with? Or is there no process? Does she just do as she pleases?

I'd like to hear an answer to this question. OP I don't understand how you can say this "Never ever ever ever think your woman is perfect and that she is incapable of cheating." Yet still be oblivious to the massive red flag of a woman wanting to hang out with other dudes. It's not about being afraid, it's simply about having a woman who respects you enough not to even put herself in that situation.

4. Sex is a great barometer of a healthy relationship. Are you having sex atleast 4-5 times a week? Is she often "too tired" for sex?

I missed this. This is perhaps the greatest barometer of a healthy relationship. There's simply no better way to tell if a woman is attracted. Without attraction there is no relationship. It's the equivalent of being a friend or a brother.

 

[RagingBalls]

El Payaso,

The difference here is the definition of "bad behavior".

Any girl that I have ever known who wished to "hang out" with other guys was a cheater. When you draw the line with them here they will FIGHT you on it. Drawing this boundary is how you know ahead of time whether to drop them.

Not drawing this boundary gives them free reign and you will catch her if you are lucky and hopefully have not wasted much of your life in the process.

Do not be afraid to draw boundaries up to and including the "hanging out with my guy friend". This is the root of all fear on this subject. That you will be unable to replace the woman. Any woman worth a relationship will NOT entertain other men. If she insists on it, then just use her for sex.

Find a woman who values YOU, not one who just values male attention.

I concur. By setting boundaries, each one brings in the table the type of relationship they want. It's not a sign of distrust, it is an expression of what each one has to offer in a relationship. It's a way to find out if both have mutual interests and values.

 

[crazyboy]

Um lets think about this for a second. If its some guys in high school that just graduated from college why in the heck he still got her number . i mean most girls high school i bang, play dated or whatever wouldn't know i exist and i wouldn't know how to contacted them. Also why would a guy that hasn't seen girl in a while feel comfortable to actually ask her out. . two any woman with a brain in her head is going play the honest girlfriend and front of her man jeez get a grip dude. Im not hating but if she was truly loyal she would show you the text of dude and down play him instead engaging conversation with him. another thing that creeping on my common sense radar if the dude was truly random and she had no clue of who it was why the hell would she even respond if you got text from unsaved number in your phone would you respond. but hey your girl awesome for being honest in front of you

 

[Pardner]

There is a HUGE difference between a woman hanging out with chump beta orbiters and a woman hanging out with an ex love interest........members on sosuave may not see the difference and demand she never hang out with ANY other males.....

A girlfriend shouldn't hang out with other males alone at all. That's the difference between a high quality woman and an attention wh0re. She should hang out with you, not other males alone.

 

[TheException]

But here's the funny thing. Not once in my life have I been taken up on my offer when put like the above examples. So in your opinion TheException does this make what I'm saying just another frame control tactic?

You have the correct mindset.

"Frame control" is really just asserting your reality upon someone else. This speaks to a women covertly in a language they can understand. The reason they dont take you up is because they recognize you as the higher value of the two and fear losing you. Textbook my friend.

She is allowed to see other guys if she wants, but she probably won't because she may think that I'm testing her and that I might lose respect for her if she does. (Is this just a frame control tactic on my part?)

Exactly.....if she has high interest in you....she wont hang out with other men all on her own.....you dont need to place "boundaries". A woman with high attraction for a man would never do anything to jeopardize the relationship. So the real wisdom is focusing on ATTRACTION.....not "boundaries" and "limiting male exposure".

I think you guys are missing the point of his post. He put it in bold. Never stop recognizing bad behavior If a woman wants to cheat, she will cheat.

They miss the point because they are blinded by other disagreements.....they are incapable of understanding. You are correct.....the bold was the main point.

And again.....you recognize the fact that "if a woman wants to cheat, she will". No amount of banning 1on1 time with male friends will stop it......what stops it......is her interest level in the male. CWAFs dont understand this fact. They wish to limit their gfs exposure to men because they think this prevents any chance of cheating. They desire women who dont have any other men in their lives but family and their bfs. Its a fantasy world....especially in these modern times. They hide behind the "I set boundaries I AM A MAN" fallacy.....in the end its just KJ talk. There is a superior way to handle foreign male attention.....and its called freewill. If she crosses a line....shes done.

I'd like to hear an answer to this question. OP I don't understand how you can say this "Never ever ever ever think your woman is perfect and that she is incapable of cheating." Yet still be oblivious to the massive red flag of a woman wanting to hang out with other dudes. It's not about being afraid, it's simply about having a woman who respects you enough not to even put herself in that situation.

Ive previously addressed this point here

Also talked about it a bit above. CWAFs believe "hanging out with other men" = cheating. I dont necessarily believe thats the case all the time. Like I said....women are free to have guy friends because I view them as no threat. Im just secure in myself. If it bothers you....go ahead and set that as a "boundary". But you may end up close to 40......and still looking for a wife.

 

[sylvester the cat]

I'm 41 this year and have no intention of finding a wife. When you are married to the Holy Spirit you have all the love you ever need. Plus it never cheats or leaves you.

 

[JoeMarron]

Exactly.....if she has high interest in you....she wont hang out with other men all on her own.....you dont need to place "boundaries". A woman with high attraction for a man would never do anything to jeopardize the relationship. So the real wisdom is focusing on ATTRACTION.....not "boundaries" and "limiting male exposure".

That dude doesn't even practice monogamy. She's allowed to see other guys=she's allowed to fvck other guys. Of course boundaries are necessary, when you agreed to be monogamous with your gf, you both placed a boundary on each other that you wouldn't fvck anyone else.

Ive previously addressed this point here

Also talked about it a bit above. CWAFs believe "hanging out with other men" = cheating. I dont necessarily believe thats the case all the time. Like I said....women are free to have guy friends because I view them as no threat. Im just secure in myself. If it bothers you....go ahead and set that as a "boundary". But you may end up close to 40......and still looking for a wife.

This "monopolizing male attention" thing that you keep talking about sounds like a bullsh!t excuse to me. It's in our nature as men to want to fvck other women even when we're in a relationship. We put that desire aside however out of respect for the relationship. If a woman can't put away this supposed desire to hang out with other men while she's in a relationship then she's simply not relationship worthy. Hanging out one on one with the opposite sex is the most slippery of slopes, men have understood this for thousands of years. You can be very secure in yourself, doesn't mean you aren't putting yourself in a dangerous situation. I can be secure in myself while flying a kite in a thunderstorm, doesn't mean my ass won't get struck by lightning. Your last sentence is exactly what Danger was talking about.

and you certainly don't avoid establishing a price for your commitment because you fear there aren't any girls out there who would pay for it, which is effectively your argument. Quite simply Exception, you don't place value on your commitment because you don't think she will purchase you after setting that boundary.