Ridicolous Approach problem

[DannyM]

Hi guys,

Been reading these forums for awhile now and finally decided to make this post as I can't seem to get this sorted. I don't generally have a problem getting girls aslong as they approach me in a club or i game on the net. But i have a serious problem with opening a woman IRL be it in a club or in the day.

First of all let me say that I have no confidence issue in how I look etc, I am constantly told by girls and other guys that I am really good looking and I hit the gym 4x a week so in theory I shouldn't have a problem as I love the way i look. I will constantly get blatant Ioi's from chicks and then I will simply smile and walk off, I was at the supermarket the other day and I could see two girls checking me out and smiling....I just completely ignored them and walked off, I see a girl i want to approach and I just can't do it even tho im 99% sure she'll like me. Can somebody tell me whats going on here and how I can get past this? Thanks in advance for the help.

 

[Agent Zero]

Just takes practice, my friend....no other way about it, you have to suck it up and do 1 approach, then another, just downhill from there

 

[Zebedee]

Think like this, what feels worse knowing you didn't approach a girl and let the opportunity pass you by or approaching and getting turned down. Believe me knowing you didn't approach feels worse, it will make you feel imasculated and make the problem worse in the long run.

 

[Zebedee]

a few bits of advice when you approach, try and get a vibe of who seems friendly or who might be checking you out to increase your odds. Use a situational opener, the first thing that comes in your head and take it from there. If you are confident, funny and charming then once you get past the opener it should be easy from there.

 

[DannyM]

a few bits of advice when you approach, try and get a vibe of who seems friendly or who might be checking you out to increase your odds. Use a situational opener, the first thing that comes in your head and take it from there. If you are confident, funny and charming then once you get past the opener it should be easy from there.

thanks bud, I know exactly what to do I just can't bring myself to do it....I just don't understand what fear i have? I know she'll like me....every girl i talk to it doesn't enter my head she doesn't like me! Hope I don't come off as an egotistical prick saying that but just trying to explain the situation.

 

[Zebedee]

its all about dealing in a pressure environment when the pressure is on you to perform. Its the reason why so many people hate public speaking, its the pressure to make people like you or take you seriously. But when you are with friends it is a non pressure enviornment and then you be yourself. You should look at approaching women the same way. I suffer from the same problem sometimes as well. The best way is to make the approach seem as natural as possible.

 

[daygameguy]

If you start talking, just something bland, you start conveying personality, and you can slowly maneuver that slow interaction into a super charged one.

Get into the water, and open your mouth, start throwing words out, slowly your brain will kick in, you will be in control.

 

[Kevin Feng]

Well, quite frankly, you have a LOT of potential here and you’re throwing away a great gift. If what you say is true, you’re going to have to work a lot less hard than most PUA’s including myself.

What you have is approach anxiety and in terms of psychologist to some degree, your ego has probably attached itself to your physical looks, I think you’re just REALLY afraid of rejection. You obviously value yourself a lot for your looks and if a girl ever turned you away which will most likely happen at some point, it will hurt.

That’s the first step in the game, is getting over your AA. Everyone gets rejected, I mean hell, I’ve heard every excuse in the book at this point, Girls already like you, the odds are stacked in your favor, all you need to do is meet them half way.

http://blog.kevinfengvh1pickupartist.com/2009/08/08/conquering-your-aa.aspx

 

[Agent Zero]

There is no easy answer. I used to be the same way...slowly the AA is diminishing.

Do you live near a major city? Go to a park in the center of that city on a nice day. Sit on a bench. There will be bound to be hot girls. Do not leave until you approach. This is a good venue because it's about the only place where you actually do have a good chance of getting a logistically perfect place to try an approach (girl alone on bench or grass out of hearing distance).