Rejection and confidence

[Luminescence]

I know everyone on here always says that action is better than none action with women....I agree, but most approaches with women are usually shot down, which in its self is not bad (you leave with more experience and knowledge,) but i'm doubtful that that even some of you can leave without a small temporary drop in confidence. Another problem is that an approach or attempt at intimacy always increases the women's sense of value and entitlement, which makes her even more difficult to game in the future by other guys.

Just some thoughts I've had lately

 

[Squidward]

Sure, we've all had temporary drops in confidence, you just have to lift your head up and brush yourself down. If you get shot down, then at least your not wasting your time and effort.

Another problem is that an approach or attempt at intimacy always increases the women's sense of value and entitlement, which makes her even more difficult to game in the future by other guys.

What makes you think that?

 

[CapedCrusader08]

See,this is my whole counfusion about the dating game, aren't we in it to bang more hot chicks,or chicks in general? When and how does it go from approach,to either ons or ltr,attraction,casual dating? How much is centered on you're behavior,looks,confidence,etc?

 

[Squidward]

Well... the reality of life is that it takes hard work to get the things we want, most of the times. Easy come, easy go eh.

 

[Warrior74]

Do this eye contact experiment for me.

Go to a mall or some other high traffic area with lots of women. Make eye contact with them. Once you make eye contact. Give a brief smile. If they smile back go over and say, Hi my name is '______'. After that you can either bow out and say nice to meet you, or keeping going and start a convo and take it as far as you can go. Do this 10 times. Report back in this thread and see if you still have these questions afterwards.

you anwsered your own question at the beginning. Action. I'm giving you some, go take it.

After that then post about what you want with women and why. but action first, reflection second. (shoot first and ask questions later). You post tells me that you are not taking action at all. Just mentally masterbating in this thread. Do you want women or not? That's the question. If yes, I expect a report back. If no, I expect more mental wanking and whining.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

the *****es i want wouldn't do that

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

^Stop this right now. CapedCrusader, ur being a coward. Ur putting women out of ur league. U don't feel u deserve them. The ones u truly want will say Hi to you. They'd be friendly. If u say hi to them with the face of a serial killer, then yes...they won't want to do that. But if u say hi with a smile on ur face, confidentally. They'll say hi back. That's all there is to it.

 

[Luminescence]

Do this eye contact experiment for me.

Go to a mall or some other high traffic area with lots of women. Make eye contact with them. Once you make eye contact. Give a brief smile. If they smile back go over and say, Hi my name is '______'. After that you can either bow out and say nice to meet you, or keeping going and start a convo and take it as far as you can go. Do this 10 times. Report back in this thread and see if you still have these questions afterwards.

you anwsered your own question at the beginning. Action. I'm giving you some, go take it.

After that then post about what you want with women and why. but action first, reflection second. (shoot first and ask questions later). You post tells me that you are not taking action at all. Just mentally masterbating in this thread. Do you want women or not? That's the question. If yes, I expect a report back. If no, I expect more mental wanking and whining.

I appreciate the advise Warrior, but it's the same repetitive message thats all over this forum, and reminding me of this here is just restating the obvious. This thread is not about me or any individual, it's just some thoughts and observations on the dating arena in general.

 

[DonJuan11]

I know everyone on here always says that action is better than none action with women....I agree, but most approaches with women are usually shot down, which in its self is not bad (you leave with more experience and knowledge,) but i'm doubtful that that even some of you can leave without a small temporary drop in confidence.

That's because you are valuing the woman too much. You are too focused on the result, too dependent on her response that you think will determine your self worth. When you make her response important, of course you will feel disappointed when she says no. When you try to get things accomplished without depending on the outcome, you will be more satisfied and happier, and women will see that.

Another problem is that an approach or attempt at intimacy always increases the women's sense of value and entitlement, which makes her even more difficult to game in the future by other guys.

That makes absolutely no sense. That's like saying if you buy a movie ticket, the stars' salaries goes up higher and gives them a sense of entitlement and self worth. You can also not buy the ticket, but you won't get the entertainment value. You can't buy the ticket and tell the cinema you want the money to go to your family.

It does not make her more difficult to game if you had the right game. (She's been hurt, she's had a bad breakup, she lost her virginity to that jerk, etc, etc, etc.) You just have to know how to talk to her and it also depends how smart you are. I know some guys who can game a girl in 5 min no matter what her situation is.

Just some thoughts I've had lately

Reasonable thoughts, but your judgment is very clouded.

 

[Luminescence]

Reasonable thoughts, but your judgment is very clouded.

Reasonable but at the same time judgment is clouded? Interesting......

 

[Luminescence]

Judging from the past few responses it's looking pretty pointless to continue this discussion further (but not for reasons mentioned above.)

 

[Igetit!]

Judging from the past few responses it's looking pretty pointless to continue this discussion further (but not for reasons mentioned above.)

Don't know what sort of responses you were hoping to get. Rejection is part of the game. If it wasn't,this forum wouldn't even exist. Of course your confidence takes hits from time to time when dealing with women,especially when you're first starting out.

I read a book a long time ago that really helped me out as far as confidence goes when it comes to women. Don't worry,I'm not going to tell you to go read it,I remember some specific parts that really stick out in my mind.
One part said that the problem with most guys is that they allow their self-worth/confidence to be determined by women's responses to them approaching them. It's like if a woman smiles at them,they feel good about themselves. If she's cold or snotty towards them,then they feel bad about themselves. They let the way the feel about themselves be determined by complete strangers! If she smiles at you,you think,"Yeah,I'm the man. I feel like a million bucks! I'm on top of the world! If she turns you down or turns her back to you,you think,"I'm nothing. I'll never get a girl. What was I thinking? No girl will ever want me".

So what happens is you being a good person has nothing to do with the type of person you are or your character,it's determined by whether a "hot" woman smiles at you or not. It's determined by whether some woman who you've never seen before,a complete and total stranger,accepts a date with you or not. NO WAY. I REFUSE to let my sense of self be defined by someone who I approached and have have known for 2 minutes. Ridiculous.

Women wear makeup,jewelery,fake hair,fake nails, have fake breasts,and the majority of them feel worthless unless they have constant male attention.
So why would I let some chick who needs all that fakeness added onto herself to feel good,and not only that,she needs constant reenforcement from men herself to feel like somebody,you think I'm going to allow someone like that to decide how I feel about myself? She has horsehair on her head,and a bag of gel stuffed in her chest!

We're better than that guys. Look,yeah every now and then we'll have some confidence problems. But let them be short-lived. Just put it behind you,and keep on truckin'!!!

 

[Warrior74]

Listen to these guys. They got you on the right path here.
this is why I advocate action. When you are focused on acheiving a goal you don't have time to wander down negative mental tracks that will derail you from completing your goal. It gives you a clairty of focus.

I look for eye contact. Eye contact stops me from running up on women who aren't strongly attracted to me. If a woman is looking and smiling at you, that's a decent sign that either she's interested, or at least friendly. You can approach with some confidence in your pocket instead of running up on someone who is not even looking your way and seeing your confidence spill on the floor when you get shot down. I've had girls give me eye contact and a smile, but have a boyfriend/husband and politely reject me. But I walk away knowing she was looking for a reason. Which makes me feel good about myself.

And by the way. Slvts according to your theory should have the highest self esteem and be the hardest to get in bed. That's your fear talking man.

 

[DonGorgon]

Confidence comes from knowing .. knowing that you can succeed, which comes from a history of success... If you fail most of the time it very hard to be logically confident. you need something to fuel your optimism.. alcahol, drugs, etc..