Realizing that different strokes for different folks helps relieve alot of pressure

[mahon83050]

Lately, I have been doing posts about looks and whether beauty is really in the eye of the beholder or not and sometimes I sound like I am contradicting myself.

However..."beauty really IS in the eye of the beholder" and another man's 10 is another mans 6!! Allen Thompson is 100% correct and I always feel more confident after I read his article!!

BUT WAIT................

Isn't there a scientific standard for facial beauty and aesthetics?

YES

Isn't is true 99.9% of men would find a woman with a hook nose, bad skin, a recessed chin and a gummy smile unattractive?

YES

HOWEVER....a few things hit me today that made me know this post is accurate.

1.) Bartender and I at work were talking about certain women at work and we only agreed on 1 out of 3 girls whom we thought were attractive. He thinks my one supervisor is very attractive and I do not see it at all. Of course, this same scenario has happened various other times with other friends, acquaintances.

2.) While watching VH1 today, Christie Brinkley was on TV and I said to myself...."gee...she has a perfect symmetrical face and great facial balance YET SHE DOES NOTHING FOR ME. Why is that? How come she does not get my heart pumping and she fits the ideal standard of beauty. Same thing applies to other actresses like Mischa Barton or Kate Bosworth. My father thinks Heather Locklear is a goddess, but she DOES NOTHING FOR ME. WHY? Her facial features (while having good facial balance and harmony) remind me of some old ***** boss I used to have.

THESE WOMEN HAVE GREAT FACIAL BALANCE, YET I DON'T SEE THEM AS 9's or 10's!!! I actually find their facial symmetry for some reason to be QUITE BORING and plain. ALOT OF THESE "PERFECT" FACES LACK CHARACTER!!!

Another example.....My friend thinks Cameron Diaz is a goddess and I think she is nothing special. Our previous interactions and positive and negative responses from certain women throughout our lives SHAPE our differences in tastes!!!

Another example....there is a girl I work with whom has a slight piggish nose and a little more than normal amount of gum tissue when she smiles, yet I see her as a 9-10.


Face it, we HAVE ALL seen women at school, work, on the street, subway etc, who have "something indescribable" or maybe quirky about their face that we find attractive and it gets our blood pumping. Yet, most of these women do not subscribe to the science of ideal beauty nor do they have perfectly balanced features.

......It could be the color of her eyes, her small mouth, the shape of her eyes, the slight gum tissue she exposes when she smiles, her hair style, hair color, length, the slight protrusion or bump on her nose that makes her attractive.

SO, WHAT IS MY POINT TO ALL OF THIS?????

A.) Just because a woman has GREAT FACIAL BALANCE and HARMONY, does not mean every guy thinks she is a goddess.

B.) When you see a girl you find as attractive (your 9-10): Sure, some other guys will find her attractive BUT NOT NEARLY AS MANY AS YOU THINK. It is a huge confidence booster to know that you ARE NOT in competition with EVERY MAN out there NOR will you be HATED and the object of ENVY by EVERY GUY out there for being with your "9-10". The LESS MEN that WANT HER, the LESS you feel UNWORTHY.
So, do this as a test. Sit back and think of a girl(s) that you find extremely attractive. Which scenario will you have more confidence in?

a.) viewing the world in a VERY EGOCENTRIC fashion and thinking EVERY MAN on the face of the planet is feeling his heart rate increase when he sees "your girl"

or

b.) realizing that ALOT OF OTHER MEN, have different subjective standards of beauty and their past experiences have skewed what they find attractive or not. They will see your "9" as maybe a 6 or 7.


ANSWER B certainly takes alot of pressure off and makes you feel more worthy of the girl.

 

[martinM.]

Very good post. I think everyone has a different idea of what beauty is.

I see a lot of girls who people think are "hot" but they do nothing for me. I like a face with character. Personal style and confidence do it for me too.

 

[floydtheater07]

It's true. Some guys I know go for girls with words like "luscious" or "baby" or "insecure" written across the ass of their pants.


Personally, I like the sexy, almost-dresses-like-a-librarian-and-is-reading-a-great-book type. I go to Barnes and Noble to check out girls a lot.

 

[wayword]

Isn't is true 99.9% of men would find a woman with a hook nose, bad skin, a recessed chin and a gummy smile unattractive?

YES.

I actually knew a guy who liked big hook noses. I guess he was that .1%...

 

[SinJester]

I will just paste my other post on the subject because I put a decent amount of thought into it:

It’s true to an extent. Think about it for a minute. We are all so drastically different that of course we don’t all find the same person to have the exact same attraction. Yes, there are scientifically proven principals, but there are far more variables than anything science has directly proved.

First of all comes our experiences, memories and preferences that make us who we are. These could easily alter our perceptions of how attractive a certain person is. I know a lot of people that prefer blondes or brunettes. To me I couldn't care less, if someone is beautiful to me, then they are, regardless of hair colour. But even just thinking you have a preference and making yourself say "I prefer blondes" could cause you to rate blonde woman more highly and others lower.

Another thing to add here is the fact that scientists have proved that smell is an important component in attraction. It has something to do with how we have different immune systems. Different people are attracted to different smells. The idea of this thread beginning to take shape yet?

I touched on it above but next comes our thoughts, circumstances and infatuation. If you see an attractive woman and think "damn she's hot!" this will alter your perception of her beauty. Meanwhile your friend might be thinking, "she's ok but I seen someone better just down the road". This simple thought could cause someone to rate her 7 and the other a 9.

I'm sure most of you have had experiences like this... I pointed out a chick who I thought was pretty good looking and my mates just laughed! Hmm. I also know this girl who occasionally hangs out with this group of slightly nerdy guys. They all think she is totally hot, and a few of the have infatuations with her. Me and my mates (sporty group) think she is ugly!

Things like the amount of girls you are exposed to, the quality of these women, your standards, the way you think about them, whether you build them up or knock them off their pedestal in your head, how often you see her, all of these things vastly contribute to how you rate a girl. There are also so many more things to add. So it is quite easily to see why different guys rate different women with different scores.


Quote:
-Do an experiment. Take 4 or 5 of your buds out to a nice crowded bar, one that's always packed with beautiful women. Find yourselves a table and try to find ONE lady in the entire bar that everyone agrees is A Perfect 10. One lady that everyone agrees is absolutely stunning.

You'll fail miserably. In fact, I doubt you'll be able to find a lady in the entire bar that even half your buddies think is a 10. You probably won't even be able to find a lady that everyone agrees is an 8 or 9.

Invariably when you or one of your buds picks out a lady and declares triumphantly for all to hear that she is absolutely perfect - and then waits for all to agree - someone in the group will respond, "No way. You've got to be kidding. She's okay I guess, but I'd give her about a 6."

You will be amazed, no stunned, at the women your buddies feel are Perfect, and they'll be equally stunned at you. Your, their, and our perceptions of beauty are just too subjective, too skewed by our past experiences and interactions, for everyone, or even a large percentage of guys, to even come close to agreeing.-


Just like my examples above. Although I don't like the way that he says you have to try and point out 'the perfect 10'.


Quote:
-Most men won't find a woman with a hooked nose, recessed chin, bad skin and gummy smile attractive.. -


Quite obviously true. There are general universal standards. However imagine a nerdy, equally ugly, shy guy. This woman you describe is the only lady in his life. He builds her up in his head… And then, even then, there could be attraction.

 

[Bvbidd]

If she has a pvssy, there will be competition. Don't forget that.
But that can be a good thing, gives you more reasons to do something.

 

[mahon83050]

If she has a pvssy, there will be competition. Don't forget that.
But that can be a good thing, gives you more reasons to do something.

True. I noticed from just my own actions and observing other men, it doesn't take much at all for a woman to be noticed or checked out. As long as the woman has a youthful appearance, is NOT FAT NOR HAS AN UGLY FACE, she will get hit on and noticed.

 

[martinM.]

I actually knew a guy who liked big hook noses. I guess he was that .1%...

Count me into that .1%