Rationalmale - For Rollo

[countermart]

Rationalmale

Rollo, I just wanted to say I have been over to rationalmale and I think the information you have written is excellent and spot on. They should teach this stuff to boys at school, well ok university, school could be a bit early.

Basically, game just balances the scales where women who have always gone after what they want in relationships, are met by men who go after what they want. You are right people do not like it when you unplug from the Matrix, and I must admit myself that I do not basically like the reality of the truth. But it is the truth, however unpalatable.

I can honestly say that the amused mastery, irrational confidence, and objectify attitude works.

I am not sure if you have written it, but I would not mind seeing an article on women and their revenge. I get the whole indignation thing, but guys also need to construct methods to protect themselves from female vengeance when they do not get what they want.

To give you some self examples:

I have been taken to the divorce court for 4 years by my x who basically lies her way through the process. Because I am a darn tough b*stard I have survived and will actually come out ok both financially and with the children, but I have seen many other guys go down the tube and have their lives destroyed by this process. In regard to her, what was initially sweet turned into pure evil.

Secondly, I only go after what I perceive are “quality women”, admittedly I have made some big darn mistakes in this regard LOL, but in doing so I have rejected quite a few women. Quite commonly these women will try to get me back in some way eg. One cancelling a lease on me, another making things difficult for me currently at work, others bad mouthing me. The whole women scorned thing is definitely true.

I guess what you are going to say is just sleep with them and avoid the retaliation, but it seems to lead into relationships, and because I don’t want that with these women, potential retaliation too. I guess I have seen my share of women who go completely off the rails when they do not get what they want. They are completely shocked when a guy actually turns down their interest, request or approach. Basically, I go after what I want and they do not like it. Any ideas, on another kind of protection a guy needs. It would be good to see a future article.

Anyway, well done on rationalmale!

Countermart

 

[jafyk]

What is rationmale and can you please post a link to it. Thanks or PM me.

 

[countermart]

http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/

 

[betheman]

Rationalmale

Rollo, I just wanted to say I have been over to rationalmale and I think the information you have written is excellent and spot on. They should teach this stuff to boys at school, well ok university, school could be a bit early.

Basically, game just balances the scales where women who have always gone after what they want in relationships, are met by men who go after what they want. You are right people do not like it when you unplug from the Matrix, and I must admit myself that I do not basically like the reality of the truth. But it is the truth, however unpalatable.

I can honestly say that the amused mastery, irrational confidence, and objectify attitude works.

I am not sure if you have written it, but I would not mind seeing an article on women and their revenge. I get the whole indignation thing, but guys also need to construct methods to protect themselves from female vengeance when they do not get what they want.

To give you some self examples:

I have been taken to the divorce court for 4 years by my x who basically lies her way through the process. Because I am a darn tough b*stard I have survived and will actually come out ok both financially and with the children, but I have seen many other guys go down the tube and have their lives destroyed by this process. In regard to her, what was initially sweet turned into pure evil.

Secondly, I only go after what I perceive are “quality women”, admittedly I have made some big darn mistakes in this regard LOL, but in doing so I have rejected quite a few women. Quite commonly these women will try to get me back in some way eg. One cancelling a lease on me, another making things difficult for me currently at work, others bad mouthing me. The whole women scorned thing is definitely true.

I guess what you are going to say is just sleep with them and avoid the retaliation, but it seems to lead into relationships, and because I don’t want that with these women, potential retaliation too. I guess I have seen my share of women who go completely off the rails when they do not get what they want. They are completely shocked when a guy actually turns down their interest, request or approach. Basically, I go after what I want and they do not like it. Any ideas, on another kind of protection a guy needs. It would be good to see a future article.

Anyway, well done on rationalmale!

Countermart

I also really enjoy reading RM, so my thanks to Rollo for the site and its content.
my eyes have been blown open the last year or so into womens nature and personality and site like this and RM have been some of the eye openers.
Just wondering is the depression that follows when 'unplugging', the reality of women and their nature/personality/traits as opposed to that which we have been conditioned to believe through the media and society, temporary?
Im really struggling to feel much more than basic sexual feelings for women at the moment and any idea of an LTR with one seems a long way off and something I really dont want to pursue, forget marriage!

As for the revenge woman attempt post relationship, the keys to spotting this are usually there in the beginnings of a relationship, how did her previous relationships end? what stories did she tell of her ex's? were they all Btards? was there a lot of acrimony? cheating? bad mouthing even violence? does she have a self satisfied air about how she 'won' in court and how she showed him?
any woman who has shown these gets rejected by me for an LTR because if you end up in an LTR with such a woman, you are basically plotting your own bad ending.

 

[countermart]

Betheman

I guess after a reasonable amount of good and bad experiences I find women too “emotionally flexible” to risk a live in LTR with them now. It is difficult to stay alpha when she knows she can leave a live in LTR and basically s*crew you through the system. A man in a live in LTR loses a basic characteristic of game, the ability to walk away. Yes, you can walk away, but believe me it is very expensive.

Of course some people will read this and say, “He is just thinking of the money angle”, but go to court and you will find that as far as the court is concerned that sweet, loving relationship of a marriage you had is just a business contract, nothing more.

The greatest risk in a live in LTR is that a guy is subjecting himself to the whims of emotional decision making in women. I see the success of marriage now as almost a random outcome, and this would comply with being subjected over a period to emotional, non-logical decision making processes.

Basically, being in a live in LTR with a woman was only worth the risk in the old days when you could say, “F you, I’m building a new tepee over that side of the tribe’s camp.” There was not much downside.

Now of course it works out for some guys, and good luck to them they came across Cinderella. But lots of married guys I know, some rich alphas too, are very unhappy and essentially stuck.

I actually feel sorry for young guys when they tell me they are getting married. I see them set up house, work their guts out to pay it off, and a reasonable percentage will lose all that, and more importantly years of their lives.

The reality is that no matter how well your relationship is going it can change on a dime. Everyone here would have had the experience of a girl being all over you, and then a few hours later you have broken up with her.

Basically, security in a relationship is an illusion. I do not believe all relationships break up because the guy lost the frame, or was not alpha. Sometimes they break up because the guy is alpha, and will not commit, or give her a baby, or holds her a little distant until he gets to know her better, or does not give in to her demands. Basically, if he considers things from his perspective, just what women do most of the time in a relationship.

I work in a business where almost every guy is alpha and the divorce rate is very high. Most of the people I considered had the best chance and were most compatible are now divorced, myself included.

I guess something of a depression can come when you understand something of the matrix, and the reality is that you are basically alone at least in terms of emotional depth. Yes, there are probably a few women who are different, but it can take years to find this out, and even then women change.

Even when judging her by her current actions, understand that these are only her current actions, they can mean nothing five minutes later. What she says is close to meaningless, sometimes seconds later.

You will find a man’s past performance is not very highly valued by women. Yes you may have provided her with a house, security all the rest of it, but what is happening right now is much more important to a women. This is different to how a man thinks, he places a lot more importance on track record. So basically, the relationship is always on the edge. Guys that do not believe me....live longer...there is no such thing as relationship security.

Betheman

“As for the revenge woman attempt post relationship, the keys to spotting this are usually there in the beginnings of a relationship, how did her previous relationships end? what stories did she tell of her ex's? were they all Btards? was there a lot of acrimony? cheating? bad mouthing even violence? does she have a self satisfied air about how she 'won' in court and how she showed him? Any woman who has shown these gets rejected by me for an LTR because if you end up in an LTR with such a woman, you are basically plotting your own bad ending.”

Yep me too it is an automatic eject button but not for a LTR, for 5 minutes more of conversation. I am basically talking about when a women comes on to you, or you get interested but find there is something you don’t like about her and you eject. And secondly in a LTR break up.

It is almost like women can dish it out, but they cannot take it. Some women just become completely destabilised if rejected and seek revenge. Think about it, 80% of divorce court cases are started by women, are all these guys b*astards who need to be taken to court? Meet them. Most of them are great guys, yes a few are not.

There may be no answer. Perhaps it is just, “you play, you pay”, it’s part of the gamble of women. But in this modern day guys are risking a lot and many of them are doing it based on an illusion in the matrix.

For those who think I am just a woman hater, you are wrong. I really love women, but unfortunately it is not wise to rely on them. I really wish it was.

Countermart

 

[Tazman]

Yeah, Rollo was definitely an inspiration, I like his realistic view on things, not to mention his ability to articulate his opinions.

People see my opinions as bitter and/or morally wrong, but it's to be expected.

Women are tricky to deal with, and you have to respect their ability to survive. They don't operate in the same realm as men, they can't, it wouldn't make sense otherwise.

They are a force to be reckoned with, ignore this at your own risk, especially in the states.

 

[Burroughs]

Betheman

I guess after a reasonable amount of good and bad experiences I find women too “emotionally flexible” to risk a live in LTR with them now. It is difficult to stay alpha when she knows she can leave a live in LTR and basically s*crew you through the system. A man in a live in LTR loses a basic characteristic of game, the ability to walk away. Yes, you can walk away, but believe me it is very expensive.


The greatest risk in a live in LTR is that a guy is subjecting himself to the whims of emotional decision making in women. I see the success of marriage now as almost a random outcome, and this would comply with being subjected over a period to emotional, non-logical decision making processes.

Yes.

History will note that western civilization's biggest error (or par with fiat banking) was giving women the rights of male adults, voting etc; in reality they are emotional, non-logical children and should be treated as such. Men are the guardians of women: mind, body, and soul. Women can never be equal to us in this regard, they are at heart vacillating toddlers...regardless of what Oprah, Tyra, Emo music, or the screeching masses tell you

2 million years of evolution taught us this and we somehow forgot.

 

[backbreaker]

I just read the latest article and that is so freakin true about the good girl gone bad.

that girl brought me here. after a year of being told how she just wanted to be friends or what not, she goes to a party one night on valentines day, and the next thing you know she has a BF. that broke my heart at the time.

at the age of what, 18, that taught me a very valuable lesson.. don't believe a ****ing thing a woman says. i don't care how nice, how cute, she is.

a woman will tell you everything you need to know through her actions. In retrospect her actions were as clear as day she did not want to date me. she cared about me as a friend, I believe that and she still does (though we have at some point in the last 10 years, took that step).


the mistake most men make is tehy ask what women want out of a man, and then try to emulate that. that's what i did.

it doesn't work, for the simple fact that you aren't being yourself when you just convert to whatever a woman wants, and women above all want a man who is true to himself.

ironically enough, when i thought i hadn't the chance in hell with the girl, she was all freaking over me. showing up to work, taking me out, we made out a few times in her car, telling me how she didn't know why her friend dumped me (i met her through her best friend lol). the second i caught feelings it was a wrap, because i thought i had to start acting differently.


i remember when i met my wife, and we got home from our first date, and 2 days later she called, afew days before the 4th of july and wanted to see she could come over, and i told her i couldn't, and she said well you better not be going out on a date, and i said well well I am and she threw a hissy fit and told me how she hates "players", and i said well, then if you hate it don't pick up the phone when i call you on the 4th of july.

10 years earlier, i would have either not told her about my date i was going on or i would have cancelled to go out with her. i knew i liked her on the first date. but i learned, the hard way, to not change for a woman regardless of how much you like her. and while she didn't like it, once we talked about it when i called and i explained my point of view, she reluctantly not only accepted it, but she chased me harder.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Glad you're all getting something out of it.

I kind of resisted making a blog because it's not really conducive to the way I prefer to organize my thoughts. I'd much rather engage in forum discourse because I can get immediate counterpoints to what I'm thinking and then the ideas evolve more naturally. When I'm writing a blog post I feel like I have to account for every counterargument that'll be thrown at me in the comments later. That's a lot of mental effort and invariably I when I read back over a post I think "dammit, I should've covered that issue here". And then on top of all that I have to balance my ideas with how much people will read, and how to format it so it's not just some 'wall of text'.

However, my metrics are very good for only being 2 months into blogging; at least that's what other bloggers like Roosh and Ferd from In Mala Fide are telling me. So it reaches a broader swathe of readers, and it makes it much easier to reference my writing than to come to SoSuave and search my threads on the forum.

COUNTERMART, I'll think about it. I actually have a topic on revenge coming up, but I'd mainly focused on how men use it. I'll add a feminine side and see if it goes anywhere. Maybe that'll help you a bit.

Just wondering is the depression that follows when 'unplugging', the reality of women and their nature/personality/traits as opposed to that which we have been conditioned to believe through the media and society, temporary

Good question. I think I may use this for a post, but the short version is yes. The depression you're experiencing comes from realizing that what you've thought would be rewarding for you isn't what you've been sold. It's a depression born from a sense of hopelessness, or nihilism, but this is a necessary transition into becoming positively masculine. Once you unplug you'll invariably experience a sense of loss. Mainly because the fairytale isn't true, but also because you realize that all the effort you spent attempting to actualize that plugged in idealism has been wasted. You come to a realization that you have to start over.

 

[betheman]

"Good question. I think I may use this for a post, but the short version is yes. The depression you're experiencing comes from realizing that what you've thought would be rewarding for you isn't what you've been sold. It's a depression born from a sense of hopelessness, or nihilism, but this is a necessary transition into becoming positively masculine. Once you unplug you'll invariably experience a sense of loss. Mainly because the fairytale isn't true, but also because you realize that all the effort you spent attempting to actualize that plugged in idealism has been wasted. You come to a realization that you have to start over."

and a pertinent reply! there is a sense of loss, more a loss of time and effort. soo much of life has passed by before the realisation. that fairytale was a glorious lie, almost akin to the Trueman show. that sense of waste?? starting over has actually been a boost, better to wake up late than never at all

 

[Tazman]

I definitely went through a period of depression, especially after how well I could predict and influence women's behavior (to an extent, I'm no master don Juan).

Then soon after my attitude did a 180. I started loving it. I can really appreciate the company of a nice woman for what it is, my expectations are more realistic so I don't have my head in the clouds. I'm cautious but not paranoid and everytime I get a desired outcome it feels like I just solved a riddle, quite satisfying.

 

[countermart]

Rollo:

“I kind of resisted making a blog because it's not really conducive to the way I prefer to organize my thoughts. I'd much rather engage in forum discourse because I can get immediate counterpoints to what I'm thinking and then the ideas evolve more naturally. When I'm writing a blog post I feel like I have to account for every counterargument that'll be thrown at me in the comments later. That's a lot of mental effort and invariably I when I read back over a post I think "dammit, I should've covered that issue here". And then on top of all that I have to balance my ideas with how much people will read, and how to format it so it's not just some 'wall of text'.

Yes I know what it is like. I write for a living in a situation where there are always counter views and to an extent you do start to think and write like a lawyer. But I have taken the view that I am being paid to give my view, I am an expert in the field, and I will therefore provide my view and expertise to the readers. Effectively, if you do not like my view you are welcome to your own opinion. I never debate counter views, I logically provide the facts and conclusion, and that is it. It is absolutely impossible to make everyone happy.

In regard to the revenge side, I just see a lot of post relationship revenge coming from women. Within the Matrix there is a view that this is justified in a kind of “Go Girl” mentality. I do not think understanding of what it is like unplugged is complete without some type of understanding of the true nature of women in regard to responsibility in relationships and post. We are here as always talking in averages, there are exceptions to every rule.

This comes back to a lack of accountability and excess entitlement from women. It is uncommon for a women to take responsibility for relationship breakdown, even if she did something wrong it was, “he who drove me to it” therefore it is his fault. Therefore revenge is justified.

Betheman – In regard to depression, while I have no “depression” about it as such I guess I am left with a view that in terms of real emotional depth, the Alpha wolf is effectively alone. This, somewhat counter intuitive given he gets the girls.

I guess I also have a problem with what works. I note Rollo’s “Amused mastery etc”, and this is very, very true. The single characteristic of every successful womaniser I have ever known is that in every case they truly do not give a F about the woman (Rollo’s “Objectify”) and they simply go after what they want. It is obvious really, a true Alpha does not have to care because he has abundance, why would he care? I see the response of women to this attitude as their single most disappointing characteristic.

I also see this as justification for direct game. Why would a true Alpha have to be indirect in regard to what he wants?

As for AFCs they lose simply because they do not go after what they want, and are not sexual with women. They are effectively apologetic.

If genes were purely searching for species survival, and they appear to be, then women are effectively responding to the genetic imperative. No successful species ever apologised its way into survival success.

Countermart

 

[zekko]

Nice blog, Rollo.

I will never understand all this fuss over "unplugging".

If you guys were raised in good Christian homes you would have grown up hearing verses like: "Though I have searched repeatedly, I have not found what I was looking for. Only one out of a thousand men is virtuous, but not one woman!"

Even if you did grow up thinking women were all sweetness and light, sugar and spice and everything nice, how many interactions with a real woman do you suppose it takes to figure out that stuff isn't true? One? Two? Maybe if you're particularly dense, three?

 

[backbreaker]

Nice blog, Rollo.

I will never understand all this fuss over "unplugging".

If you guys were raised in good Christian homes you would have grown up hearing verses like: "Though I have searched repeatedly, I have not found what I was looking for. Only one out of a thousand men is virtuous, but not one woman!"

Even if you did grow up thinking women were all sweetness and light, sugar and spice and everything nice, how many interactions with a real woman do you suppose it takes to figure out that stuff isn't true? One? Two? Maybe if you're particularly dense, three?

while I see your point, it doesn't work like this

I grew up in one of these homes, church 2- 3 times a week, read the bible every day homes.

and this is one of the problems I have with organized religion. I was a quite handsome young man. I had no problem ATTRACTING women, even good looking women.

I, got dating advice from my mom basically who told me basically to do everything you aren't supposed to do lol. for years my mom preacdhed to "not be like yoru dad, women don't like that" (while he would have 3-4 women over his house in a week's time), and i would do what she said, and it's like women, not only eventually treated me like ****, it's like they went out of their way to treat me like **** lol.

i had a girl i dated for 8 months, get GANGBANGED at a party. lost her virinity to do it at that. she despised me that much. i had a girl basically would come to my job in high school and let me hear about how she was getting railed by her new and improved BF when all I did was fall head over heels for her.

and through all this, I never got a lick of practical advice. "god has a plan" is all my mom would say or "they weren't right for you" (which was right) but still, it takes the onus of responsibility off you.

the reality is, those women were jsut women. they weren't bad women, they weren't great women, they were just women doing what women do, leave AFC's. It wasn't until my dad caught me cryign over a woman that he started to teach "the game " to me and I started to wisen up a little (and i mean, a little)

we come here and interact with everyone here everyday, we have our own little bubble, but it's easy to forget just how "plugged in" the avg person is.

I remember the night I found this site like it was yeteray. this girl who I just cherished (my oneitis), calls me out the blue drunk while she's getting railed basically throwing it in my face for no reason than becuase she can. that was it at that point. i had waited around for her for about a year, picking her up from school, taking her places, buying ****, writing letters, the whole bit, everything that society told me would work. she tells me she isn't ready for a BF only to meet a guy and ****/date him the same day.

so I find this site, and i'm like.. the stuff here that I read was like reading a new language. "Tell her that if we aren't having sex than we have nothign to talk about", "don't buy a woman **** without making her earn it".. this isn't **** that the normal person hears i assure you. society is setup to drain you from your wallet, and part of that means that you should splurge on a woman to show her your affection.

it took me about a good month to comb through this site to just get a basis of a new mindset, let alone to figure out what to do. i eventually told her to get lost (only for her to come back 2 years later)



I just read Rollo's recent post about rejection, it's quite good. I would say the best way to deal with rejection is.. honestly, just to grow up.

In my mind, ejection is synonymous with self esteem. The better I personally feela bout mseylf and my own personal path in life the better I deal with rejection.

Let me put it in perspective.

Let's say I am selling websites and we have 20 jobs going right now. I have 5 jobs on queue that I'm trying to sale, one of them is quite big. I get 2 of the smaller jobs and get 1 of the bigger jobs, but i lose out on the bigger job. At that point I will happily give that client my best wishes and wish him the best of luck, and honestly mean it. he gave me every opportunity to earn his business, and i didn't do it. Cant" fault him for that.


But let's say, my rent is due tomorrow and i need to work on something to get paid. I have this client i have been dealing with for 2 weeks and i expect him to let me start working/pay a deposit only to find out the day my rent is due, that the client is going in a different direction. IN that instance, it's impossible for me to wish him the best of luck and even if i did i would not mean it. i would hope his job fails, because right now my job is failing and i want him to feel it. (something similar, though with computers, has happened to me before)


The happier I am with myself and my direction, the less I need other people's approval which is basically what rejection comes down to. you aren't mad because you ren't going to have sex, you aren't mad because she doesn't think you are datable, when you strip away all the gloss, you are hurt because she disapproves of you. you have put out a 100 page book on you, she has gotten to know you, your good traits and the bad, and she says you know what.. i will pass. I don't like this book.

If you don't like your own book that you write by living out your life, you are going to be in a world of hurt when society disapproves of that same book. Conversely, my fav book of all time is the bear and the dragon by Tom Clancy and you- know what, I know that's not everyone else's fav book. hell that's probably not even everyone's fav tom clancy book but i could give a flying **** I love the book. I don't care what anyone else thinks.

That is why rejection sucks. You don't care (so much) that she's getting railed by another guy. you care because she thinks another guy is better than you and that you care about her low opinion of you. But when I am doign what i am supposed to do, you don't spend as much time thinking about that type of **** and even if you do, it's not like you don't like the direction that you are going


The girl that brought me here, I mean, while she has her issues, she's honestly doing quite well for herself. She is a news woman on a local TV station in little rock, she's married, things are looking good for her, and she's still as easy on the eye's as she has ever been (though she is starting to look more like her mom.. which isn't necessarily a bad thing, mom is a milf) and honestly, i'm very happy for her. It's why I can call her every few months and check in, hell even shoot the **** with her husband when I am town. And honestly she probably respects me more now than she ever did, and hell we've dated. lol she knows what the **** she did. She will probably even admit she ****ed up in the sense that I am probably a better catch than her husband (while she won't come out and say that, she does gripe to me quite often about her husband and the things she doesn't like about him alot), but she is happy for me. i send her pictures of my son, she sends me picture of my dog that she stole lol. do you know how impossible it is for the avg person to honestly be happy for someone who ****ed them over? There is no secret plot to "win her back", there is no plot to show her what she is missing out on. we are just two old friends who keep in touch.

She has a friend, who i actually dated in HS (the girl that would come to my job) who isn't doing so hot right now, strung out on pills. It takes a man to not only not say "see *****", but to call her and let her know hey, i've been there and if you ened someone to talk to pick up the phone, and honestly hope she gets better. While she got me pretty good, she's not a bad person.


that's why inner game is so important it's literally the foundation of everything else.

 

[PokerStar]

Bb Ftw!!

 

[backbreaker]

I will add, that one thing I notice about immure people / people who don't like themselves for whatever the reason, see life as some type of game in which they have to win if that makes any sense. My grandmother did this everyday all day long. She was just the poor little ole lady who everyone got over on (though had no qualms about selling my car so her BF could get high..t hat's another story)

By that I mean, Barbara is on the phone with her best friend, talking about how her ex is an ******* because he's hooked up wtih someone else and how she treated him right, and she's on the phone talking about how that ***** teacher keeps picking on her son.

it's like, they spend their entire life, trying to paint themselves in the best light possible, and everyone else who they precieve to have some type of vendetta against, in the worst light possible.

This person could at the end of the day, despite what they may try to paint themselves as, give 2 ****s about you or your well being, deposit all the BS they talk about how great they are, they really are out for themselves and trying to pump themselves up and make themselves feel better. make no mistake this person has no qualms about bending you over if it's going to benefit them in any way shape or form. Meaning, say that same woman, was getting looked at by the boss of the company that she runs and he is a millionaire.. she would rationzlae the **** out of that **** and not think twice about it. She's only playing the victum card becuae that's the best card to play to keep her morale up.

(I told you this **** is like a sixth sense to me)

This is the sigh of an extremely immature person. Perfect example, kat (my old oneitis that I get along with), despite the fact that i broke up with her and did not want a LTR with her, we still get along great. The only woman on earth who knows more about me is my wife, and she repsects me. Her best friend on the other hand, the last tiem I saw her, got butt hurt because i wouldn't "go kick it" with her. despite the fact that know she's doing drugs and i've been clean for almost 7 years now, despite the fact that at the time i was engaged.. so now she spends her time telling kat and anyone else that will listen that i'm a jerk and a prick. the sign of a very immature person, who refuses to see that she made the bed she is now lying in by how she treated me years ago. A person who has no ambition outside trying to get "justice' on everyone who screwed them over, and that's a pretty ****ty and mundane life to live in all honesty.

I'm not saying, rejection should never ever hurt. There are times that it will hurt worse, or hurt less, but the sign of a DJ or a real man, is how he faces rejection; by being honest about what's going on, both in real life and in his head. Understanding that he's not so much mad at her for leaving as much as he is at himself for not having options.

 

[zekko]

I remember the night I found this site like it was yeteray. this girl who I just cherished (my oneitis), calls me out the blue drunk while she's getting railed basically throwing it in my face for no reason than becuase she can. that was it at that point. i had waited around for her for about a year, picking her up from school, taking her places, buying ****, writing letters, the whole bit, everything that society told me would work. she tells me she isn't ready for a BF only to meet a guy and ****/date him the same day.

so I find this site, and i'm like.. the stuff here that I read was like reading a new language. "Tell her that if we aren't having sex than we have nothign to talk about", "don't buy a woman **** without making her earn it".. this isn't **** that the normal person hears i assure you. society is setup to drain you from your wallet, and part of that means that you should splurge on a woman to show her your affection.

I've been in somewhat similar situations myself. Maybe not quite so brutal where she was calling me up while she's having sex with another guy to rub it in.

I agree you don't generally hear that type of thing on the street. Although it should have been pretty clear that what you were doing wasn't working. I went through a phase where I was constantly re-evaluating my approach with women. But I didn't have the benefit of having a SoSuave to refer to.
What points you in the right direction is the realization that you have to maintain your self respect. This has to become more important than the girl.

When it comes to women, you have to appreciate them for what they are: flawed human beings like the rest of us. Although I do think they have an extra layer of treachery to them as compared to men. Maybe it's a necesssary reaction to being the physically weaker gender.

 

[DanelMadr]

I will add, that one thing I notice about immure people / people who don't like themselves for whatever the reason, see life as some type of game in which they have to win if that makes any sense.
I'm not saying, rejection should never ever hurt. There are times that it will hurt worse, or hurt less, but the sign of a DJ or a real man, is how he faces rejection; by being honest about what's going on, both in real life and in his head. Understanding that he's not so much mad at her for leaving as much as he is at himself for not having options.

Absolutely agree. Rejection, once not taken on personal...egoistic level is just a little scratch. People take themselves too seriously. More people die afraid of not looking stupid than panicking....they just f@cking burn alive, because they were afraid someone would laugh at them if they screamed and run.

Fear and lack of Integrity the sole reasons for most of suffering in people's lives.

I wonder if people mean this "maturing" when they say they found Jesus. I guess most of them just pretend to but certainly there are those who 'get it'.
Not through breaking the Woman Matrix...just by breaking the Ego Matrix.

 

[zekko]

Not through breaking the Woman Matrix...just by breaking the Ego Matrix.

That's why RSD teaches you to divest yourself of ego.
Don't take yourself seriously. Learn to laugh at yourself.

Don't build an image up in your mind as a pickup artist (because then if you hit a slump your self image is threatened).
If rejections don't affect you, then you have more freedomm to act.

 

[st_99]

I think what we commonly refer to as an inflated and fragile ego is really just a SYMPTOM and not the cause of your problems. Its not the ego that needs to be defeated, its something else. The big ego is just a way of saying, something is wrong.

Its like if you saw a fat guy you might say, stay away from food but really food may not be the problem but some sort of outlet for deeper psycho problems, after all, we all need to eat. Food becomes destructive, like EGO becomes inflated and also destructive and counter productive.

In other words, everybody has the potentional to let their ego get
out of control or control them but that is not the inherent problem its just the symptom.


If you gain some enlightenment in life and learn how to view life in a pragmatic way your ego wont get out of control, but we still have and ego, its just a healthy ego that serves a purpose but doesnt not get 'out of wack'.