Hey, what's up?
I want to ask you something.
When is what you THINK is conversation for building rapport, actually just rambling?
It's a common mistake that I see quite a bit.
Rambling happens in ways OTHER than just talking on and on and on.
For example, here's something I saw a guy doing...
Recently I spotted a guy I know, and he was talking with a woman and doing some palm reading with her.
Normally I'll just observe from afar, watching the woman's body language as the guy is talking with her.
But this guy was making a very bad positional mistake. The woman was sitting, but he continued to stand.
(Standing over a seated woman that you've just met, has a "predetor" vibe with women, which is only good when you're talking with a woman who wants to be dominated and controlled. With all other women, you're just making it harder for her to relax and open to you)
I could tell by the woman's closed body language that she was not comfortable, even though she continued to let the guy read her palm.
So I positioned myself a little closer, so I could hear what the guy was saying as well.
He was telling her what the lines on a specific part of her hand meant (of course). But I noticed that he was talking, without actually asking her anything in the form of "do you understand?" or "what does that sound like it means for you?"
He wasn't asking her ANY questions! He was just talking about what this line means, and what that line indicates.
And when she would reply, he was frequently cutting her off, to either correct her or to elaborate on what he had previously said.
He wasn't talking endlessly, but he WAS rambling.
He was TRYING to establish in her mind that he was an "authority" but he was doing it all wrong!
You see, when you talk to someone without asking them any questions (or very few questions), and you frequently interrupt them, that's another form of rambling.
It's the form of rambling that so many people fail to recognize in themselves.
You may THINK that you're establishing being the Alpha. But what you're actually establishing is that you're either in love with your own voice, you really don't give a damn about what SHE thinks, or both!
(Not the suggested path if you want to establish rapport with someone.)
The Alpha knows that it's not about dominating the conversation, but is instead about keeping the conversation on a productive flow.
The more you learn about the other person, whether in business, seduction, or making a potential friend, the more you can see where their beleifs and motivations lay. And the more you know THOSE things, the easier it is to build rapport and keep things flowing to a desired result.
You might be thinking, "Yeah, I know this already."
But KNOWING, and actually APPLYING the knowledge on a regular basis, is not often the reality.
Often people get "caught up in the moment" or they get so distracted by other things, that they sometimes don't notice that they're not applying what they already know.
This is true of many things.
One thing that I want you to listen to very seriously about this is, DON'T PUNISH YOURSELF as you start to notice moments when you're doing these kind of ramblings.
None of us are perfect, not a one.
Just the fact that you're NOTICING that you're doing it, means you're advancing farther than most people.
So the key is to simply recognize when you're doing it, and work on making it happen less and less. And sooner than you might realize, it will be eliminated.
Here's what I personally did to eliminate MY rambling...
After each interaction with someone, I would reflect back and critique the quality of the conversation. I would write my answers in a journal.
The questions were as followed:
"What probing questions did I ask, and how well did I let them speak?"
(Meaning: Did I learn enough about the other person to have quality topics to discuss in our next conversation?)
"How well was the flow?"
(Meaning: Did the subjects and topics seem to naturally lead into each other, or did some topics and subjects seem like they were random, and possibly just brought up to keep the conversation going?)
"What was the most dominant 'theme' of the conversation?"
(Meaning: Did we mostly talk about a certain subject, or subjects that were related? Or was the conversation all over the place?)
"Is there anything, in hindsight, that I could have said instead/differently?"
(Meaning: Based on the overall conversation, what could have made it even more progressive and productive?
NOTE: This does NOT mean second guessing yourself, or kicking yourself for something you said/didn't say.)
"Putting all of these elements together, what is my overall feeling about the encounter?"
In a matter of weeks, I had not only recognized my ramblings, but I had also eliminated them. And the same result can be yours as well!
Okay, that's going to do it for this broadcast. I wish you all a HAPPY EASTER WEEKEND!
Take care, and LIVE UNLEASHED!
Michael "Bishop" Emery
michaelemery@new-alpha.com
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
No credit to me. Newsletter from the Bish...
I want to ask you something.
When is what you THINK is conversation for building rapport, actually just rambling?
It's a common mistake that I see quite a bit.
Rambling happens in ways OTHER than just talking on and on and on.
For example, here's something I saw a guy doing...
Recently I spotted a guy I know, and he was talking with a woman and doing some palm reading with her.
Normally I'll just observe from afar, watching the woman's body language as the guy is talking with her.
But this guy was making a very bad positional mistake. The woman was sitting, but he continued to stand.
(Standing over a seated woman that you've just met, has a "predetor" vibe with women, which is only good when you're talking with a woman who wants to be dominated and controlled. With all other women, you're just making it harder for her to relax and open to you)
I could tell by the woman's closed body language that she was not comfortable, even though she continued to let the guy read her palm.
So I positioned myself a little closer, so I could hear what the guy was saying as well.
He was telling her what the lines on a specific part of her hand meant (of course). But I noticed that he was talking, without actually asking her anything in the form of "do you understand?" or "what does that sound like it means for you?"
He wasn't asking her ANY questions! He was just talking about what this line means, and what that line indicates.
And when she would reply, he was frequently cutting her off, to either correct her or to elaborate on what he had previously said.
He wasn't talking endlessly, but he WAS rambling.
He was TRYING to establish in her mind that he was an "authority" but he was doing it all wrong!
You see, when you talk to someone without asking them any questions (or very few questions), and you frequently interrupt them, that's another form of rambling.
It's the form of rambling that so many people fail to recognize in themselves.
You may THINK that you're establishing being the Alpha. But what you're actually establishing is that you're either in love with your own voice, you really don't give a damn about what SHE thinks, or both!
(Not the suggested path if you want to establish rapport with someone.)
The Alpha knows that it's not about dominating the conversation, but is instead about keeping the conversation on a productive flow.
The more you learn about the other person, whether in business, seduction, or making a potential friend, the more you can see where their beleifs and motivations lay. And the more you know THOSE things, the easier it is to build rapport and keep things flowing to a desired result.
You might be thinking, "Yeah, I know this already."
But KNOWING, and actually APPLYING the knowledge on a regular basis, is not often the reality.
Often people get "caught up in the moment" or they get so distracted by other things, that they sometimes don't notice that they're not applying what they already know.
This is true of many things.
One thing that I want you to listen to very seriously about this is, DON'T PUNISH YOURSELF as you start to notice moments when you're doing these kind of ramblings.
None of us are perfect, not a one.
Just the fact that you're NOTICING that you're doing it, means you're advancing farther than most people.
So the key is to simply recognize when you're doing it, and work on making it happen less and less. And sooner than you might realize, it will be eliminated.
Here's what I personally did to eliminate MY rambling...
After each interaction with someone, I would reflect back and critique the quality of the conversation. I would write my answers in a journal.
The questions were as followed:
"What probing questions did I ask, and how well did I let them speak?"
(Meaning: Did I learn enough about the other person to have quality topics to discuss in our next conversation?)
"How well was the flow?"
(Meaning: Did the subjects and topics seem to naturally lead into each other, or did some topics and subjects seem like they were random, and possibly just brought up to keep the conversation going?)
"What was the most dominant 'theme' of the conversation?"
(Meaning: Did we mostly talk about a certain subject, or subjects that were related? Or was the conversation all over the place?)
"Is there anything, in hindsight, that I could have said instead/differently?"
(Meaning: Based on the overall conversation, what could have made it even more progressive and productive?
NOTE: This does NOT mean second guessing yourself, or kicking yourself for something you said/didn't say.)
"Putting all of these elements together, what is my overall feeling about the encounter?"
In a matter of weeks, I had not only recognized my ramblings, but I had also eliminated them. And the same result can be yours as well!
Okay, that's going to do it for this broadcast. I wish you all a HAPPY EASTER WEEKEND!
Take care, and LIVE UNLEASHED!
Michael "Bishop" Emery
michaelemery@new-alpha.com
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
No credit to me. Newsletter from the Bish...
