Questioning seduction

[QuodErat]

So a while back, I set up a date with a girl and we hit it off.
We're now in an exclusive relationship, and whatnot.

So i've had a lot of time to reflect on the philosophy of game, and how I can apply it to improve my character, and i'm completely lost. These are some questions about things i'm having difficulty understanding:

1. What does game turn into now that i'm in a relationship? Have the rules changed? What do they change to? Do I still need to pull all this "be mysterious, tell her very little about yourself, be aloof" and etc. Why are we meant to do that anyway? Where do all these principles come from?

2. Why can't we just ask women what they want? I read that what women want, and what they say they want, are two different things. Why can't I just ask her what she wants, and do that? I'm certain your average girl will say "I want a nice guy," but react to something different, but is it possible for some people to actually know what they respond to?

3. Contradicting information. There's a lot of contradictory information, like:

* You need to flirt with other girls in front of her in order to make her jealous / If you do that she will become irritated with you because you're being a disrespectful piece of **** and will dump you faster than diarrhea

* You can't ever start an approach with a compliment, it shows you're a desperate, needy, low value clinger! / You should be manly and direct as **** and tell her she's cute if you think so. Even if the approach doesn't work out, you'll have made her day

* Women are ****ing lying *****es that shouldnt be trusted with jack **** because they'll stab you in the back / Women are just like other people too, and you shouldn't take a mysogynistic view towards them

* USE ALPHA-AS-**** DIRECT GAME, THATS WHAT REAL ****ING MEN DO AWWW YEAHHH / Bring up something situational and make a conversation about it / "Who lies more?" IS THE BEST OPENER EVER YOU RETARDS OMG / ALL YOUR OPENERS NEED TO BE QUESTIONS EVERYTHING ELSE IS WRONG / Your opener doesn't mean jack ****, it's all about HOW you say it. You could say "Bouncing pandas" and it'd start conversation.


With all this contradictory info, what am I supposed to follow? Why does it even exist? What are the central beliefs that all this stuff stems from?

4. Rewards and attention. I read something like, "When she does something you like, reward her with your attention. When she does something you dislike, revoke your attention and call her out on it." How does this work? Is this manipulative? Is manipulation part of the game, or is it wrong, or what?


Any input is appreciated.

 

[QuodErat]

Bump.

Nobody can offer any advice?

 

[zekko]

We're now in an exclusive relationship, and whatnot.So i've had a lot of time to reflect on the philosophy of game, and how I can apply it to improve my character, and i'm completely lost. These are some questions about things i'm having difficulty understanding

I was in an exclusive relationship when I first started studying seduction, and it is confusing under those circumstances. You just have to realize that some of it will not apply to you if you're exclusive.

1. What does game turn into now that i'm in a relationship? Have the rules changed? What do they change to? Do I still need to pull all this "be mysterious, tell her very little about yourself, be aloof"

All that "be mysterious" stuff is designed for short term use, it's impossible to use long term. It's garbage, throw it out.

2. Why can't we just ask women what they want? I read that what women want, and what they say they want, are two different things. Why can't I just ask her what she wants, and do that? I'm certain your average girl will say "I want a nice guy," but react to something different, but is it possible for some people to actually know what they respond to

Some girls think they know what they want but don't.
Some girls know what they want but won't say it.
Some girls do know what they want and say it.
Try it and see if it works for you, maybe your girl is a smart one.

* You need to flirt with other girls in front of her in order to make her jealous / If you do that she will become irritated with you because you're being a disrespectful piece of **** and will dump you faster than diarrhea

I personally think it's disrespectful to flirt with a woman in front of your girlfriend. To me, this is gameplaying, it invites gameplaying, it invites her to "up the ante" by flirting with other guys, which I would find disrespectful (and besides, women tend to have more options than men - it's hard to beat her at this game). That said, people define flirting differentlly. I would still talk and laugh with girls in front of her, and maybe even some mild flirtation, if your girlfriend reacts positively to it. If she gets offended, I'd drop the flirting.

* You can't ever start an approach with a compliment, it shows you're a desperate, needy, low value clinger! / You should be manly and direct as **** and tell her she's cute if you think so.

If you cold approach a beautiful girl in a club, chances are she gets compliments on her looks too much to appreciate them. In a LTR, I think a girl likes to be complimented, just don't overdo it. If you notice her hair looks especially good today, tell her, it won't hurt anything. Unless she's one of these nut case girls you hear about here.

* Women are ****ing lying *****es that shouldnt be trusted with jack **** because they'll stab you in the back / Women are just like other people too, and you shouldn't take a mysogynistic view towards them

You shouldn't be mysogynistic. But I would never fully trust a woman. Take care of yourself, nobody else is going to. Sleep with one eye open, knowing that the knife in the back could come. Some women are simply untrustworthy. Others seem to be trustworthy but are not. Some girls appear trustworthy but life happens and things can change. I give my girl the benefit of the doubt until she proves otherwise. But knowing and accepting that the worst could always happen (although I don't really expect it) surprisingly gives me peace.

* USE ALPHA-AS-**** DIRECT GAME, THATS WHAT REAL ****ING MEN DO AWWW YEAHHH / Bring up something situational and make a conversation about it / "Who lies more?" IS THE BEST OPENER EVER YOU RETARDS OMG / ALL YOUR OPENERS NEED TO BE QUESTIONS EVERYTHING ELSE IS WRONG / Your opener doesn't mean jack ****, it's all about HOW you say it. You could say "Bouncing pandas" and it'd start conversation

I'm not a fan of canned openers, I'd rather be spontaneous.
Your mileage may vary.
Hard to go wrong with situational openers though.

4. Rewards and attention. I read something like, "When she does something you like, reward her with your attention. When she does something you dislike, revoke your attention and call her out on it." How does this work? Is this manipulative? Is manipulation part of the game, or is it wrong, or what?

It's manipulative, but it works. I see nothing wrong with it.
You have to let her know how to behave somehow or other.
This works well.

 

[QuodErat]

So, in other words, all these "rules" and such, are just guidelines to bend around for your situation?

If that's the case, then what stays the same ALL the time?

 

[Domo_Arigatoo]

So, in other words, all these "rules" and such, are just guidelines to bend around for your situation?

If that's the case, then what stays the same ALL the time?

What stays the same ALL the time is that you are a man, and she is a woman.
Be aware of your role and make her aware of her role in the relationship. As long as you act like a man should, i can't really see anything going wrong. What some people tend to do is get too comfortable in a relationship after putting on a show to attract her and the circus act fades away, revealing their inner AFC that they merely covered up rather than eliminating.

But don't get me wrong, nothing is wrong with showing occasional affection, just don't over-do it and become AFC again.

 

[Desdinova]

What does game turn into now that i'm in a relationship?

It turns into "relationship maintenance". Now that you have the girl, you have to keep her attracted to you.

Have the rules changed? What do they change to?

What rules? Being the best man you can be? Being creative in the bedroom?

Do I still need to pull all this "be mysterious, tell her very little about yourself, be aloof" and etc.

No. Attraction is not solely based on being mysterious. It's based on how you make her feel (and the answer isn't 'feel happy' either)

Why are we meant to do that anyway? Where do all these principles come from?

Being 'mysterious' is just one way to get her thinking about you. The more she's thinking about you, the more she dwells on you and the more she obsesses about you. When you're stuck in her brain, it's called 'attraction'.

Why can't we just ask women what they want?

Because women don't know what they want. They instinctively do things based on how they feel.

Why can't I just ask her what she wants, and do that?

Even if you do what she wants, her emotions will drive her into a totally different direction. Women will follow the most exciting way to get to their destination rather than focus on the actual destination itself. That's why women like a 'nice drive' to a little town for an ice cream cone as opposed to a short trip to Dairy Queen down the street.

* You need to flirt with other girls in front of her in order to make her jealous / If you do that she will become irritated with you because you're being a disrespectful piece of **** and will dump you faster than diarrhea

Have you actually tested this theory out? She will not dump you because you cause her to feel something. She'll secretly enjoy it.

* You can't ever start an approach with a compliment, it shows you're a desperate, needy, low value clinger! / You should be manly and direct as **** and tell her she's cute if you think so. Even if the approach doesn't work out, you'll have made her day

The approach isn't the most important part of the interaction. Raising her IL in you is.

With all this contradictory info, what am I supposed to follow? Why does it even exist? What are the central beliefs that all this stuff stems from?

The best thing you can do is take all this knowledge and use trial-and-error in the field. You will find out what works and what doesn't if you repeatedly go out and learn from your experiences.

4. Rewards and attention. I read something like, "When she does something you like, reward her with your attention. When she does something you dislike, revoke your attention and call her out on it." How does this work? Is this manipulative? Is manipulation part of the game, or is it wrong, or what?

This may sound harsh, but women can be trained like dogs. When she does something nice and you do something nice back, she'll enjoy doing nice things. When you punish her bad behavior by withdrawing your attention from her, she won't be inclined to piss you off. This helps you to gain respect from her. Not only that, the emotional fluctuation she gets from this will keep her interest in you high.

 

[MainDroite]

Some women are simply unthrustworthy. Others seem to be thrustworthy but are not. Some girls appear thrustworthy but life happens and things can change.

I'm sorry, I've nothing else to contribute than this lame joke. Carry on. :rockon:

 

[Slick Rick-NZ]

Not to be negitive but most of this put together makes alot of side notes and no real game. You got her. Identify the qualities she liked in you to get you to this stage and don't loose them. Don't become predictable all of the stuff in David Deanglo's book mix it up do different stuff.

"4. Rewards and attention. I read something like, "When
she does something you like, reward her with your attention. When she does something you dislike, revoke your attention and call her out on it." How does this work? Is this manipulative? Is manipulation part of the game, or is it wrong, or what?"

This is just like teaching a dog or little kid too choose your desired outcome by making him/her it feel good and pleased when you do so. Yes it is monipulative, but women love men to take the lead and be the man.
This is natural though, when she does something nice you will want to appreciate her for it. When she is not you can either make a big deal and have a fight or not and she will respect you for it.
What made you feel worse when your mom said "I am very cross with you timmy," Or " I am very dissapointed in you timmy".
Slick..

 

[Bible_Belt]

After a woman has had sex with you, you should speak as little as possible, at least in a conversational sense. Let her talk, pretend to listen, and then have sex with her...and then repeat the process. A relationship can last for decades this way.

 

[BettorOffSingle]

So a while back, I set up a date with a girl and we hit it off.
We're now in an exclusive relationship, and whatnot.

So i've had a lot of time to reflect on the philosophy of game, and how I can apply it to improve my character, and i'm completely lost. These are some questions about things i'm having difficulty understanding:

1. What does game turn into now that i'm in a relationship? Have the rules changed? What do they change to? Do I still need to pull all this "be mysterious, tell her very little about yourself, be aloof" and etc. Why are we meant to do that anyway? Where do all these principles come from?

2. Why can't we just ask women what they want? I read that what women want, and what they say they want, are two different things. Why can't I just ask her what she wants, and do that? I'm certain your average girl will say "I want a nice guy," but react to something different, but is it possible for some people to actually know what they respond to?

3. Contradicting information. There's a lot of contradictory information, like:

* You need to flirt with other girls in front of her in order to make her jealous / If you do that she will become irritated with you because you're being a disrespectful piece of **** and will dump you faster than diarrhea

* You can't ever start an approach with a compliment, it shows you're a desperate, needy, low value clinger! / You should be manly and direct as **** and tell her she's cute if you think so. Even if the approach doesn't work out, you'll have made her day

* Women are ****ing lying *****es that shouldnt be trusted with jack **** because they'll stab you in the back / Women are just like other people too, and you shouldn't take a mysogynistic view towards them

* USE ALPHA-AS-**** DIRECT GAME, THATS WHAT REAL ****ING MEN DO AWWW YEAHHH / Bring up something situational and make a conversation about it / "Who lies more?" IS THE BEST OPENER EVER YOU RETARDS OMG / ALL YOUR OPENERS NEED TO BE QUESTIONS EVERYTHING ELSE IS WRONG / Your opener doesn't mean jack ****, it's all about HOW you say it. You could say "Bouncing pandas" and it'd start conversation.


With all this contradictory info, what am I supposed to follow? Why does it even exist? What are the central beliefs that all this stuff stems from?

4. Rewards and attention. I read something like, "When she does something you like, reward her with your attention. When she does something you dislike, revoke your attention and call her out on it." How does this work? Is this manipulative? Is manipulation part of the game, or is it wrong, or what?


Any input is appreciated.

You've bought into the MARKETING by "badboy" type gurus who only care about getting testimonials, which cause them to push their students to lower their standards just to "get laid." Scenarios like the one you listed above result from poor target-selection, and taking the easy way out of trying to turn a hookup into an LTR, rather than first SELECTING the woman with whom you wish to have an LTR, and pursuing her (risk of rejection much greater).

If you have a job, you will not give up the stability for something unproven unless the rewards are tremendous. I write about the "Ace of Clubs" type as the "perfect girlfriend/wife," but she is also the most difficult to "game," and tends to be PUA-immune. Even if she makes a mistake she will quickly correct it rather than attempt to justify it by trying to change you.

You would think the best PUAs in the world would have higher standards, and be VERY picky about their girlfriends, but they aren't. They just pretend to be as a mniapulation. Most CRUMBLE like week-old cookies the second they get into a real relationship, because the woman they have chosen doesn't really like them, but the "challenge" or "game" instead.

Find a woman with whom you are TRULY compatible, and the games WILL end. That's not going to happen by waking up with a one-night stand the next morning and saying "let's try to make this work."

Why can't we just ask women what they want?

Simple: women want a man who doesn't have to ask.

 

[bigneil]

Why can't we just ask women what they want?

You can never ask a woman what they want because they don't know.

(And everything else Desdinova said).

 

[Slick Rick-NZ]

PS. Women want us to know what they want. And need.
Slick..