Question for you fellas regarding college gaming and emails

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

This is the situation as it stands. The chick is in my P.E. weight training class, so anyway I have seen her around the campus a few other times, stopped and said hi to her and struck up a convo(she is always reading it seems), got her email(I said you seem cool, why dont you give me your number to hang out sometime) or something similar to that. She said email was better because her mother is really overprotective or w/e(I thought typical female BS so then i joked about it). Didnt really know what to say to that tbh and didnt want to come off pushy so i took the email. She said her mother actually told her not to make any friends when i joked about what? she doesnt want you to make friends? I think WTF? to myself.

Long story short, my grandfather died 2-3 days after that so my mind was elsewhere trying to get prepared and sorted out for those funeral services. And no I didnt tell her he died, im not that stupid. I actually lose her email(lmao) realize it last weekend so I tell her I need it again cause I lost it on Monday 3 days ago, she smiles and stays after class to give it to me again at the end. So my question is how would you guys advise to swing this? I actually saw her mother last week at school(she looks like an average middle aged white woman) while talking to her daughter and just smiled at her but didnt actually talk to her.

Now this girl smiles and laughs alot when I am talking to her and seems to have a very high interest level in me, tbh she is kinda nerdy but cute, I am not getting oneitis for her or super invested as I have other women I am interested in(and that like me). Also my buddy in that class says she looks at me fairly often(while I was looking at this Asian girl that I have teased in class ironically lmao) I also have seen her look at me now and then and she asked my help with something in class last week. How can I ratchet things up at this point and get the number/get further?(I see her in class 3 days a week but its difficult to talk much there when working out) Or am i just wasting my time? She seems shy and the mother thing is just weird as hell. Tips please? Apologies for writing so much. With regards to kino, it is difficult up here in the "icy northwest" so to speak so I havent done much of that, + ill be honest im not 100% comfortable touching people(but getting better).

 

[Commandante]

The whole story with the number sounds weird. Doesn´t she have a cell phone?

 

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

she does but says her mother monitors it or something? I dont remember exactly what she said as it was a few weeks ago, but yeah I was like WTH when she told me that(smelled like an excuse but she shows signs of high interest, thats why its quite confusing). Guess I could give her crap about it but girls around here take teasing too seriously it seems from my experience.

 

[Kailex]

Few questions:

1) Is this in highschool?

2) Why haven't you just asked her out... so that way you can stop having so many doubts and questions about what to do next.

3) Why is kino so difficult in the northwest???

All I can read so far is that you seem to be making excuses as to why you shouldn't approach this girl. Next time you walk into that classroom, grab firmly onto your scrotum, until you feel your sack completely filling in the palm of your hands and repeat: I AM A MAN AND I WILL ASK HER OUT.

And then remember... Rejection > Regret.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

How can I ratchet things up at this point and get the number/get further?

By grabbing your balls, as Kailex stated.

What if I were to tell you that every class you waste not escalating this interaction in a real, definable way, diminishes your chances of succeeding with this girl by a significant amount?

Because it's true. You're trapped in your head too much right now, brother.

Trust me man, nobody understands where you're coming from as much as I do; I've had a decent amount of success with women in my time but I have never completely conquered my approach/escalation anxiety. The trick is to feel the fear and do it anyway. You're 26 years old, you're in your prime. Do you think you'll have an unlimited amount of chances in your life?

Stop trying to reduce your risk of failure/rejection to 0%. Stop trying to mask your intentions or make this a totally safe interaction where your ego has an easy escape route if things don't pan out. Stop trying to figure out if she wants you. Stop sabotaging yourself. You should be concerned with two things and two things only:

1.) Building rapport/attraction (this will always involve kino, I don't care what state or planet you live in)
2.) Always be closing (keep pushing your comfort zone, keep escalating to a new level slowly but surely, just like your username)

So in other words, don't just aggressively try to put the moves on her without gaming her a bit and building rapport, but at the same time, if you wait much longer she will think you are gay, have no confidence, or one of a host of other negative things. The BEST you can hope for by continuing to wait is to be placed squarely in the friend zone.

Next time you see her, you will ask her out. Sexualize your interaction with her a little more. The goal is not to hide your intentions like in elementary school, it's to show your interest in a socially aware and confident way, and LEAD the interaction because YOU ARE THE MAN, she is the woman. This is the way of life. It's okay to fail. It's okay to succeed. But you will always miss 100% of the shots you never take.

 

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

alright thanks for the help bros.

kailex, 1. no its college. 2. tips on how to do this? as i said i asked for the number and she gave me that line about her mom, whats a good thing to say to get past that? My mind blanked on that one, I was prepared for a boyfriend objection but that one threw me for a loop. 3. well, you guys are mostly from the east coast or LA, up here people are more superficially friendly you could say, it seems harder to get pple to chill outside of school(believe me im trying, did go to a party last night at least). Kind of hard to explain if you havent lived here before(NorPacWolf talked about it a bit in his Small Town Sarging Post). I did shake hands with her at least, anyway I will try to start some more casual brushing and escalations.

curtainfalls, thanks for your post as well. i am definitely in my own head, I completely agree on that point. Maybe using visualization of myself as James Bond or a master success with women will help on that matter? Ok so how do I get past that crap with the mom and get her #, whats a good reframe for that essentially is what i am asking? Im gonna send her an email now, just some light stuff, see if I can at least get an IM address. Ill keep it chill and to the point with some light teasing in there.

 

[WC2]

alright thanks for the help bros.

kailex, 1. no its college. 2. tips on how to do this? as i said i asked for the number and she gave me that line about her mom, whats a good thing to say to get past that? My mind blanked on that one, I was prepared for a boyfriend objection but that one threw me for a loop. 3. well, you guys are mostly from the east coast or LA, up here people are more superficially friendly you could say, it seems harder to get pple to chill outside of school(believe me im trying, did go to a party last night at least). Kind of hard to explain if you havent lived here before(NorPacWolf talked about it a bit in his Small Town Sarging Post). I did shake hands with her at least, anyway I will try to start some more casual brushing and escalations.

curtainfalls, thanks for your post as well. i am definitely in my own head, I completely agree on that point. Maybe using visualization of myself as James Bond or a master success with women will help on that matter? Ok so how do I get past that crap with the mom and get her #, whats a good reframe for that essentially is what i am asking? Im gonna send her an email now, just some light stuff, see if I can at least get an IM address. Ill keep it chill and to the point with some light teasing in there.

The whole 'west coast' thing is not an excuse. People are artificially friendly EVERYWHERE. Especially women. Trust me, I've lived in NYC and 3 other big cities on the east coast and there are these type of women everywhere.

I never take a woman's email. The thought of me actually putting thought into an email and typing to a person I've never actually hung out with makes me cringe. Just thinking of it makes me feel creepy.

What you should have done is pushed past that little sh!t test that she fed you when she said her mom monitors her cellphone. You really think she has to tell her mom every time she makes a new girl friend and stores her number? I think you're smarter than that.

What you should have done is said, alright then, give me your phone and let me ask your mom for permission. Yes, she will look at you like you're crazy, but don't give in. Say it again. "Trust me. Give me your phone and I'll have your mom head over heels for me by the time I'm done talking to her."

MAKE HER LAUGH. Be ballsy. Laughter KILLS unease and rips down a woman's defenses without her even knowing.

The whole asking her for her email address again is BOGUS! Not only is it bogus to do it once, but TWICE?!?!

How do you think this makes you look? Needy? Yes? YES. You are so head over heels for this chick that you asked her for her email address twice and she hasn't done a DAMN thing for you. She is laughing and feeling great about herself on the inside. That's why she smiled.

You're in college now. Time to let your balls drop.