Question for the DJs who have experience with foreign women/exchange students

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

Yo, so im basically after some tips on how to escalate fast and kino in day game with foreign exchange girls that dont necessarily have the best English speaking skills. 12% of the students that go there are international and im not gonna lie, I like Asian women So this is something i need to improve upon.

I have gotten a number from a Japanese girl in my English class a while ago and been teasing her about w/e, last Fri i told her she looks like a bobblehead doll with how her head moves, and she said something later so i said i was leaving cause she wasnt nice and acted like i was gonna leave, she was like no dont and tried to grab my sleeve to pull me down lol. Anyway im going to the mall tomorrow since we have a writing assignment related to that and im gonna invite her to tag along. Essentially im going to use the method from the front page from Office Space, something like "Hey im going to do my assignment tonight at XXX Mall, you're welcome to tag along and do yours." That sound good? My kino escalation frankly needs work, I have trouble consciously escalating with women.

The other girl is this Korean chick i met on Friday in the library. You guys will call excuse but she told me she didnt have a phone b4 i even bothered to ask for her number, this was while i was looking at mine, she says she wishes she had one. Truthfully Im starting to think numbers are overrated anyway, I have tons of numbers but its getting women to hang out with you that counts..
She says she has Skype, asks for my msn address and wrote hers down on my notepad, added me right away. She msgs me soon as i add her Saturday night

Brief part of the convo:

Her: Hi, (My name) I'm (Her name) do you remember me?
Me: yeah, from yesterday
Her: yeah.. after the class finished, i went to library.
Her: but you were not there.
Me: had to leave, i had things to do, i finished my paper pretty quickly

i talked to her off and on for about 1.5 hrs while making my bed and doing other things with a few minutes in between replies, im aware it was too long, i tried to build emotion as much as possible. I had my status on busy for most of the convo as well.

Anyway just talked to her tonight again for about 45 mins this time while surfing net i will summarize bits and pieces of the convo:

Her: today, i looked for you around the gym
Her: did you go to the gym????
Me: nah not today
Me: i work out mon, wed, and fri
Her: great
Her: i hope to meet you
Me: what time did you look
Her: 12, before my class
Me: ah
Her: what time do you usually go to the gym?
Me: about then, after history

Later on in the convo i mentioned she uses smilies quite often:

Her: i'm not shy
Her: speaking English is hard for me, so i just.........
Me: your English will get better the more you hang around me as well..
Me: you might learn some bad words though so be careful haha
Her:
Her: can i hang around you????
Me: ill tell you tomorrow when you come to see me @ the gym
Her: haha...
Her: okay! i will try to find you!!!!
Me: sounds good
Her: okay, see you tomorrow
Her: i like you, i think you are nice guys
Her: guy!!!
Her: no guys
Her: haha
Me: lolz
Me: you just havent met my evil twin yet

Now this girl is throwing IOI's like crazy from what I can tell, I mean she asks where I am, keeps telling me shes trying to find me etc. Its almost stalkerish a little bit. I hated to hear that nice guy line though obviously..thats the only thing that thinks she may just want to use me to practice her English. Still though, she could use her host family for that just as easily.

My plan is to take her for a walk on some trails by the campus and up the kino and such, i have morning classes and she has afternoon from 1-5 so its kinda difficult tbh, she has lunch from 12-1 though. I have plans for Thursday to play COD with dudes from school right after too...so not sure. How would you guys pull a girl like this who lives with a host family? I live about 30 mins away from campus atm, I will be moving closer soon but that doesnt help the current situation. She goes to church also so i would expect some resistance to escalation for what it matters.

Tips? I write way too ****in much.

 

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

Well the Jap girl flaked when i called her so her loss.

Korean girl i saw outside the cafeteria when i was going to eat and gave her a hug, invited her to eat with me, she gladly followed me around, even when she saw her friends briefly. So she ate lunch with me and I left after about half an hr with giving her another goodbye hug since i had an assignment to work on. This Korean guy even showed up that is helping her with her English, I remained calm and handled the distraction pretty well, he was asking me quite a few ?s about myself in fact which I fielded well.

Should see her tomorrow again at about the same time, thinking ill either invite her to tag along when i play badminton tomorrow night or invite her to a party on saturday..i need to get her isolated so i can up the physical level and kiss her at least if not farther.

Help me out with feedback here bros..

 

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

bump..

 

[iliketennis]

that first post was way too long i didn't read it

 

[vatoloco]

You're taking away the mystery by giving her a detailed schedule of your activities (when women like you, they like wondering where you are and what you're doing). Try to be more vague with your activities.

Yes, she might just be using you to help her with her English so you need to isolate and do a close for a date one evening. This should make her show her hand as to whether she digs you...

P.S. Are you White (as in Caucasian)? In my experience, when Asian girls come to America, they usually date mostly white guys... Just wanna get some perspective on her IL here...

 

[ARrocket]

I doubt she's just using you to improve her English...why you? She speaks English all day here.

Anyway, I think you need to escalate FAST! The way I see it, one of 2 things are gonna happen...either things go the way you want, in which case you don't need any more advice here, OR, she freaks out because she's way too traditional for all that jazz. Now if it's the latter instead of the former, I wouldn't be all too alarmed. She'll know you're interested, and if she sticks around, she's interested too. At that point, it's up to you to decide what YOU want...if you're just looking to bone this girl, it might be difficult. If you think she's LTR material, you can proceed a bit more slowly.

 

[xdreamz]

actually dawg... it sounds like she's manipulating you quite well. and she is covering up her tracks very nicely by being nice.

my experience with foreign exchange is you must make her come to you and you must be able to close well.

 

[Don Wha]

One thing I like to do with girls of different ethnicity is to learn some dirty words or sayings in their language. You'll probably butcher what you're trying to say, but its okay. Plus, you'll be able to get away with a lot more. For example, I know how to say "I like your boobs" in 4 different languages. Sorry, I dont know how to say it in japanese or korean. You'll have to google it.

I dont have much experience with foreign girls, but my guess would just to simply escalate as you would any other girl; lead, flirt, tease & kino.

Good luck.

-Don Wha in the making

 

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

Saw her today, its setup for her to come with me to play badminton tonight, im picking her up in a little under 3 hrs at her house. She asked if she could bring a friend along which smells like a **** test, i was lukewarm on that idea, shouldve just flat out said i dont think so to it instead of saying wont have time to get the friend. She did mention she is getting a phone this weekend though and that she will send the number to me once she does so thats good.

vato you are 100% right, i am starting to slip on the mystery part, must be more vague about what im doing, i told her i hadnt decided yet for this weekend when she asked, shouldve just said i was busy and not elaborated further. And yeah im a white boy lol.

AR thanks bro, she is most likely a longer term prospect but thats definitely something i need to clarify for myself. Ill go for a kiss later tonight, probably when im dropping her off at her house, will also try some playful bumping and such at badminton, along with showing her techniques and such, maybe pick her up too, i have upped touching anyway so she should be used to it by now and she is starting to return hugs.

xdreamz, care to elaborate on how to make her come to me? as for manipulation be more specific so i know what to look out for?

Don Wha that is a good idea, i will look something up, i did tell her the f-word already in Korean when i met her haha, her response was to gasp, cover her mouth and giggle a bit.

thanks for the replies.

One question, there is a $7 charge for the 3 hrs at badminton. Should I pay for her and tell her she can treat me next time? Or let her pay for herself?

 

[vatoloco]

She asked if she could bring a friend along which smells like a **** test, i was lukewarm on that idea, shouldve just flat out said i dont think so to it instead of saying wont have time to get the friend.

Okay, I'm gonna share with you my reply to when girls want to bring a friend along: "Sweetheart, don't bring your friend along. If she's cuter than you, I might just go for your friend!"

Of course, I let her know this in a playful way. I like it because it lets her know the following things:

* That I want to see her 1-on-1
* In an indirect way, that I'm interested in her romantically
* I'm replying to a possible sh!t test with the way I want things done
* That she's the one qualifying

If you're scared of scaring her away with that line, then that tells me you're not confident enough to be a man with this girl

And yes, I call all girls "Sweetheart."

And yeah im a white boy lol.

Okay, so that makes me a little bit less suspicious about her. She might actually like you!

One question, there is a $7 charge for the 3 hrs at badminton. Should I pay for her and tell her she can treat me next time? Or let her pay for herself?

No, you pay for both. I think you mentioned seeing long-term potential in this girl so I would just keep the dates cheap and seeing if she ever offers to pay. Keep in mind, though, that being an international/exchange student, she might be very limited financially so she MAY want to help pay but she may NOT BE ABLE to...


LOL, this topic made me remember this really cute Korean girl who was interested in me back in college. She gave me MAJOR IOIs (major flirting, placing her hand on my leg ALL THE TIME, always making sure I had a good view of her boobs, etc. -- I was an AFC back then but even so I knew this chick was interested, that's how's strong the IOIs were) but unfortunately I was in a so-called LTR and I didn't want to cheat. FVCK!! It would have been heavenly to tap that sweet thing. Cute face, really feminine voice and HUGE BOOBS (which is hard to find in an asian girl)

 

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

Well here is a synopsis of how it went, feel free to critique my good and bad points, just skim it quickly if its too long, or better yet read the last paragraph or 2:

I got to her house to pick her up a few minutes after i said I would, i had told her to be ready about 30 mins in advance as i expected to need to meet her host family first, to my surprise she was outside and ready to go already, ended up going inside anyway as we were early and i met them and socialized briefly, the guy has the same name as my best friend which i mentioned. This definitely sets it in a more long term frame, dont know if this was good to do or not, i figure it would up everyone's trust and comfort levels anyway.

So we take off, i drove more carefully than usual, she asked my age on the way there so i made her guess then guessed hers, talked about astrology some as i know girls love that stuff. she didnt really understand being Korean, she asked my blood type(apparently this is something big in Asia, wtf?) so I teased her about that and made her giggle.

We get there and get in line to pay, i tell her ill get it and she can get it next time , other girl from earlier was working so she saw me with Korean Girl which is good for what it matters. I showed her some techniques for hitting and such(DHVing myself), told her to sit down next to me(compliance) she did, introduced her to some more people, and came up behind her and lifted her up once hehe, she was surprised but didnt seem to mind. I also spanked her with my racket. One of the other guys offered to hit to her for the last 5 mins, she looked to me as if to give her permission, i said sure if you want, shouldve said go ahead in retrospect, i had to change back into my street clothes anyway. I have to admit i felt a twinge of jealously but i remained calm and didnt show anything(he is no threat anyway lol).

So i drove us home in the rain, i was pretty tired, she commented on this, i said it was a long week and that i was glad the weekend is coming, had mentioned in chat with others earlier i was pretty busy with homework this weekend. She seemed to be pretty comfortable, had her legs crossed and halfway towards me, i asked if she was good temp wise once. She initiated most of the convo this time, i was tired and concentrating on driving. She was asking me about how to get a driver's license and all so she wont have to walk to school in the rain anymore.
She mentioned she studies at school because the kids at home always want her to play with them, she then asked me if I like kids(future plans) i said yeah and that i wanted a son to teach how to play baseball which is true, she prefers girl children(big surprise lol). I also mentioned Im moving closer to school soon, she asked if I live with my family currently which is true. She mentioned how much she pays to stay with her host family and said i should get one lol, i laughed and said i dont think i can qualify for an international student, she laughed as well. She asks if I know the way as we are almost there, I say yeah, do you? She says no and asks how i got there I said i used google maps which is your friend

We get back to her house and she says she needs to get her stuff out of my bag, so i pull it up front and look for a bit, couldnt find her wallet so i let her pull it out, make sure she has everything etc. Anyway, im waiting till her face gets close so i go in for the kiss and a hug, it was slightly awkward but she didnt seem to resist or anything, it was pretty brief(1-2 secs) though. I say ill walk her to the door after that, this lady next door who just pulled in asks me to move as i am blocking her driveway partly, i tell her i wont be there long and move the car out of the way. I walk my girl to the door and briefly put my arm around her shoulders, shouldve kept it there till we got there.

This is where i probably should have just left. So we are standing there, im thinking whether i should kiss her again from what i remember, she seems to ask if i want to come in but seems nervous about it, so i say sure, anyway we go in and are quiet, she offers me a drink, i probably should have accepted in retrospect and sat down briefly, was going to go up to her room but she seemed really nervous about me being there after they were asleep and says she will invite me after telling them later. not wanting to press the issue i went back to the front with her, teased her about being naughty or something. We go back outside and she says something about trouble with her other house b4, i gathered that she meant her roommates and her didnt see eye to eye, i tell her "i cant stop staring at your lips" to see if she puckers up for a kiss, say something about her necklace being interesting and look at it for a moment, really i just wanted to kino her neck. Anyway so i open my arms and move towards her for a goodbye hug, she reciprocates, and i move straight ahead for another kiss, kiss her again, same result as b4, she slightly turns her head after i pull back so i complete the hug, her hair smelled nice. After this, she wants me to write my phone number down for her if she gets her phone this weekend she'll call me. So i write it on her hand, say i need to get going and get in my car, ask her teasingly if she is going to shut the door for me. roll down the window and say bye and pull out, she watches me back out and turn around, until I am about to head straight i see her heading back into her house.

Analysis? I sensed I may have blown it with that 2nd bit and given her the frame, if thats the case oh well. Better to have attempted to escalate too far than not attempting it at all and regretting it. Im probably just in my head too much though. She is lucky to have a chance to hang out with me
I need to know how to qualify this girl further as well so I know she isnt a crazy. Also I am not sure if i should call her host family's home phone to follow up, I wasnt on msn till about 8 pm last night and 5 tonight, havent seen her on either time. What's normal protocol for a day 2 followup? I know this is a long writeup but im inexperienced so hence the detailed report.

 

[ARrocket]

Aiight well it sounds like you're on the right track. She seems to have a good IL at this point, good work sir.

Now that you met the host family and all that, you've definitely set a relationship type tone, at least in her mind anyway. If that's what you're looking for, great. If not...it could still play to your advantage anyway. So I think that was fine.

Overall it seems like you have her trust, and she is at least somewhat attracted to you, as you kissed twice. You seem to be on the right path. I wouldn't worry so much about going inside her house at the end...yeah maybe it wasn't the best move, but from the looks of it, no harm no foul. Maybe try to get her over to your place next time, if there will be some privacy there.

 

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

thanks AR, and you too vato for earlier, that is a great line to use to the friend coming along request. My place isnt the best choice atm, its out in the boonies somewhat and my family is there too, as well as my bedroom having something of a dirty laundry issue atm. I will have an apt much closer to school within a month at the most though, id prefer to have her over then. Maybe tomorrow or Thursday when i see her i can get an invite to her host family's place, if not im planning on letting her tag along to badminton again on Friday, there is a major event this week(Monthly Singles Night its called). Or is that a really bad idea to do the same thing twice in a row? Also, does it show as too needy to get photos together with me and her(have someone else take em with my phone)? Thats something ive been wondering about.

Quick update:

she got a cell phone yesterday and texted and called me so i have her # now, i gave her a brief call back and spoke for about a minute, she sounded sleepy . i may or may not see her tomorrow as im pretty busy and have to leave school pretty quickly after classes, today was no chance at all whatsoever. She msgd me on msn and we had a brief chat as i was working on assignments, i think its driving her insane that i wont tell her what im doing i just said secret projects when she asked.

Her said:
me too haha
i gotta go, thank you
good night!
stay peace, right?!!!!!!

Me said:
oh time for bed huh
call me tomorrow to meet me, i will be very busy tomorrow again, have things to do
see you (By this i meant to have her find where I was and come there at the time as I will be on the move)

Her said:
i ll not interupt you ! !!! see you, good night! (L) (L) (L)

So shes pretty much starting to fall in love with me it would seem (What a surprise, right? ). I also went to the mall (had to do this regardless) and met up with a different girl(white this time LOL) from class yesterday, keeping my options open as always to keep my head on straight with Korean girl.

 

[vatoloco]

there is a major event this week(Monthly Singles Night its called). Or is that a really bad idea to do the same thing twice in a row?

I don't see any harm...

Also, does it show as too needy to get photos together with me and her(have someone else take em with my phone)? Thats something ive been wondering about.

Let her bring it up first. In my experience, when girls like you they're the ones always wanting to take pics together. When she's ready, she'll let you know. Of course, at that time you'll oblige.

So shes pretty much starting to fall in love with me it would seem (What a surprise, right? ). I also went to the mall (had to do this regardless) and met up with a different girl(white this time LOL) from class yesterday, keeping my options open as always to keep my head on straight with Korean girl.

Okay, I was gonna tell you that you seem to be too invested in this Korean girl and that you need to spin other plates but it seems like you're doing that.

I'm beginning to see a little of oneitis for this girl. Keep your emotions in check. But other than that, you seem to be doing okay.

 

[drak_ool]

Dude, international women, especially Asian are the shyt! I've been in and out of relationships with one or more Asian chicks (Koreans, Thais, Japanese) at the time for the past 3 years.

about your girl: it's a lock. You need to escalate it to the next level NOW. i guess at this point it's only a matter of logistics: can you hook up at your house? or you can just go for a night out on the town and end up in a hotel room. She might not give it up the first time, but I guarantee this girl will sleep with you. Think about it: she's in an exchange program. She wants to get the full american experience. I can assure you that includes hooking up with an american dude. Everything you do is OK because she doesn't know how americans act, so she'll overlook anything. However, stop acting like a middle-schooler. You need to show some balls and take control. She will love this, as so few guys in Korea act this way with girls.

unless they are sluts, Korean girls want a relationship. This can both help you and hurt you. In the short term, if she thinks you too are dating she will sleep with you fairly easily. In the long term, she can become a pain in the ass by trying to force you to commit.

EDIT: the only red flag I can see so far is how she brought up the trouble with her past roomates after already inviting you in the house. You need to investigate into this if you are trying to start a relationship with this girl. What really happened there? was she keeping them up all night while getting wild with some random dude?

 

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

update:

picking her up in 3 hrs to take her with me again. plan to escalate as far as possible today with lots of kino.

do you guys have any music suggestions for the car as far as "mood music?"
is it necessary to call her beforehand? it was on tuesday 3 days ago that it was set up, however i dont think she will have forgotten as this is not the 1st time..
also i am not certain if i should pay again or if this should be her turn as i told her she could get the next one?
one other thing, when driving home, as far as isolation goes, the college we both go to is near her house and would be a better spot to isolate for w/e in the car rather than outside her house(where more lights are). however, i dont want to make her really nervous or anything by just going there for no reason.
And my last thing would be about going inside the house again(or not) and possibly up to her room. good idea or bad?

throw me any input you guys have on any or all of this, some of these may seem silly but its always better to be prepared in advance

 

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

ok forget about that last post, i realized those were unneccessary ?s.

So it went pretty well imo, we played again, she paid this time as i had told her we would take turns, i made that pretty clear and she didnt seem to mind this.

after we went to applebee's with a couple of the other guys i play with and had a good time, i know its a long time to spend around her, we were all hungry though and its a long drive home from there. her and i split an entree and shared food, i ate some of her food she offered and ordered a beer for her as she wanted one and her english is bad. i did have my arm stretched out on the back of the booth behind her most of the night too, it seemed natural. when it came time to pay, she got her card out w/o much hesitation for ours, it wasnt very awkward at all, i picked up the tip with cash. dont know if i should have given her card back and paid but i dont think it was a big deal and im not gonna make a scene about it obviously. by contrast our friends had to have theirs split up, they are good guys but it was amusing to see. one of the guys invited me to go rock climbing the next day, she seemed interested in this too as i invited her since she was there. i lifted her up in the parking lot outside out of the blue and she let out a surprised laugh and giggle, she enjoys me showing dominance far as i can tell

drove her home, on the way home she was asking about my plans and such, i said id be running errands and seeing friends, she says she has a bday party for this guy in her class that i also know, shes asking me what kinds of alcohol i like blah blah, so anyway i say jokingly "why wasnt i invited to hiro's party?" shes like "oh you want to come?" so i say "yeah if im not busy ill see if i can make it"

we get to her house and kissed again, she seemed less reluctant this time to do so with it being longer and better than b4, i should have pulled away as she beat me to it barely. she thanked me for the fun time more than once i believe as well. anyway so i walked her to her door again, but she wanted to watch me leave again like b4 so i went back out and we chatted a bit about the next day. i mentioned id let her know as soon as i heard from the rockclimbing guy and she would let me know about the bday party. gave her a goodnight hug and kiss on the cheek i believe, got in my car and left, with her saying goodbye.
(Continued in next post)

 

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

here is where the possible trouble started the next day:

so i call her @530 pm cause the other guy didnt have my number so i didnt end up going rockclimbing, i ask whats up, shes with her friend just finished shopping or w/e. she says bday party is in about 30 mins so i say aight and that im on my way. she txts me a few mins later saying come @630. so i txt back "hes not there yet?" she replies he isnt ready. ok so no biggie. so i leave to get there by about 6:20, right as i get there she txts me asking where i am dont come till 7 now, im thinking wtf is this guy doing, LOL.

anyway i see her and her friend walking to the apts, greet em, she intros her friend. so we go into her friend's apt, friend leaves for some reason(prob to bday guys place to check) leaving us alone for a few. Korean girl and I sit down on the couch and chat a bit, im trying to get her to move closer, she seems kinda nervous, puts her shopping stuff in the other room, i asked about a drink of water, shes like "ehhh its not my apt" kinda nervous like. im thinking i may have blown a golden opp there to get her in the bedroom and get it done as her friend pretty much set us up to do w/e.

anyway so friend comes back after 10 mins or so, we leave apt, friend goes somewhere else again, K-Girl locks up and i nudge her playfully into the wall and say watch where your going i say lets take a walk to kill time b4 the party. so we go walking towards the school(the apts are right there), she asks if i smoke, i say no, ask if she does she says yeah. im a bit visibly surprised by this as i have never seen her smoke b4, apparently several of her friends do as well. so im like hmm to myself thinking thats a bit of a nogo for me, anyway there is a place to sit rock water fountain thing in the commons there so we sit down with her next to me. i had my arm around her some on the walk there. so we bs for a bit, she shows me pictures from the day shopping off her camera, one was some store model guy in his underwear they took a pic with, i didnt react or anything to it. so we sit there for a bit, i get up and she does also, i move to the rock thing and stick my tongue out and do a V-sign to be crazy, she kinda laughs/giggles. I sit back down, she remains standing rubbing herself like shes cold so i tease her about that. anyway we head back as its almost 7 now, so im walking with my arm around her waist and chatting, after a bit she kinda gently pushes my arm off like shes uncomfortable, so i just say ok quietly and continue talking and walking like nothing happened. thats where i first realized i probably escalated too slow, but im not gonna sweat it cause hey party is soon and dont need to be needy.

We get back to the apts and go to the dude's place, i walk up ahead of her, walk in and say wassup to the bday guy. She walks in after me. Its a big ass party with a bunch of Asian girls and guys, mostly Japanese. so the host intros me to a few pple, anyway after a min or two of chilling, i start talking to everyone. Long story short, we play a bunch of drinking games, i get pretty buzzed, talk to pretty much everyone and make friends, there is about 3-4 girls there that like me i think(more on that in future post) one says its too big in refence to a piece of bday cake she gives me, i say i bet you say that to all the guys, she gets it finally after 3 times lol. she replies, not Japanese too big just American, haha. wouldve been better if i had said "yeah, girls say that to me alot" but no worries. At one point i see Korean girl talking to this Mexican guy in the kitchen, either he number closed her or she number closed him im not sure. It wasnt right in front of my face though. I walk up and start engaging him and her in convo, mostly him, being friendly and all, she moves off. I was a bit miffed about that but his pickup attempts consisted of telling girls their dress was pretty so im really not too worried.

Later though, he was outside talking to a couple girls and i walked up and joined convo, he said something about me being stupid or w/e(dont remember why) so i come back with "hey white people are smart, we get black and mexican people to do our work for us." bit of a **** thing to say i know but i make jokes like that to everyone like teasing asians about bad driving, also was singing mexican americans song from cheech and chong in front of him earlier. who is he to call me stupid, if you cant take the heat stay outta the kitchen. bit of a silence ensues, hes like "that wasnt funny bro" i just kinda shrug or w/e, stand there for a few secs then go back inside. We didnt talk after that i dont think, who cares.

Anyway a ton of pictures are taken, i have my arms around a bunch of soft little Japanese/Asian females for these other Asian dudes are tryin to get in the pics with me and the other white guy at the party(dutch guy who was pretty cool). I get in a pic with the host and some of Korean girls friends, i get a pic shortly thereafter next to Korean girl too with my arm around her. The host took my cap and put it on his head for a pic or 2, bit of an AMOG move i realize, i didnt really know what to do tho so i let it ride, dont think he meant anything by it as he is a pretty chill dude. He also likes the Mariners(Ichiro) so that may have been all it was. I also tell Korean girl to bring me a plate for food earlier in the night and bring me beer a time or 2 to show dominance, she does except for once i think when host gives me a beer.

So anyway Korean girl is about to leave at 11 or so since she has church the next day, i am sitting in a chair pretty buzzed and chatting her, she is sitting on the arm next to me, anyway we hug i think and she heads out. i teased her more as she leaves about cooking a Korean meal for me saying she still owes me. she smiles and leaves. after that i left at 11:30 as a bunch of pple had left and it was mostly guys remaining.

Conclusions:
1. Escalation and Isolation are major stumbling blocks for me right now. Once i overcome these, it will be a major breakthrough. I need to learn how to get girls to sit on my lap, kiss me, etc. I did light kino a bunch of the girls @ the party on the shoulders and hair and such but not more than that.
2. I have to keep myself from getting a major buzz/drunk as it screws up my game. I have successfully resisted this the last 2 nights after Saturday's episode.

Question:
Where do i stand with Korean girl now in your learned opinions? I have not contacted her since the party as ive been thinking let her miss me a bit. Havent seen her on MSN this week at all but that happens sometimes anyway. Im thinking either ill call her Thursday and invite her to tag along to badminton again, or just let her go till summer semester starts again on Monday, where I will see her @ school. I can invite a different girl from the party to tag along alternately instead of her if needed as i got the number of one of the bday girls, or this Japanese chick that says she wants an American husband lol. Your opinions?

 

[vatoloco]

Dude, you're gonna have to present your information in a better, more condensed and concise manner if you want more advice. It was painful to read all that (and even I just kind of skimmed it because it looks too tl;dr)

My initial impression is that you're getting oneitis over this Korean girl. Also, why are you going on group dates? While I concede that it was a good opportunity for networking with other girls, you need to get this girl to fall for you first BEFORE you start going on group dates. That way she's way into you and doesn't give her number to random Mexican dudes in kitchens.

Also, I think you're playing the C+F thing a little too much. I'm of the opinion that it's okay to do it occasionally but if you do it too much or while appearing needy/macho ("I also tell Korean girl to bring me a plate for food earlier in the night and bring me beer a time or 2 to show dominance"; "i teased her more as she leaves about cooking a Korean meal for me saying she still owes me"), she will start to lose respect for you. Good girls (not the ones with low self-esteem) like a take-charge guy (not an in-charge one).

You also came off as arrogant with the black/mexican comment. If you were a long-time friend, yeah, it would have been funny but to complete strangers, you probably came off as racist. Again, you might not only be losing respect points with Korean girl but with other girls as well.

It appears that your IL in her is higher than hers in you based on the physical interaction that you guys are having. You need to spin more plates asap or oneitis is gonna get the better of you.

Also, you never "hug and kiss on the cheek" a girl at the end of a date. That reeks of LJBF. What you do is grab them by the waist, pull them close to you, give them a deep passionate kiss and tell them "Goodnight sweetheart." You then turn around, get in your car and GTFO.

In summary, I think you're doing kinda okay but, I get the feeling you're trying too hard to get with this Korean girl. Spin more plates and don't get oneitis for just this one girl. It looks like she's keeping her options open and so should you.

 

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

hey thanks bro, yeah i should be a writer since i write novels here, way too much detail. i tried to organize this one a bit better for easier reading.

1. i wouldnt term it a group date per se just more a party i was interested in going to anyway as the host is a cool guy too. spur of the moment thing and it has resulted in other connections. i did consider that factor b4 calling Korea but figured it was worth the risk, i appretiate your insight as always though.

2. im taking this other japanese girl i met from that same party that ive seen there also sunday and last night when we partied, she was my beer pong partner last night but she sucks at it lol. anyway im taking her with me on friday to badminton, as she begged me for my facebook, saw my badminton outfit pic and claims she is a good player and loves to play, so i told her to prove it she and her friend also number closed me and my other friend the other day so ive got her # as well.

3. Again my lack of closing escalation lets me down, i was very physical with her last night and she seemed to be loving every second of it, she was showing me her arms so i showed her mine and let her feel my biceps, she asked if i got them from badminton or what. Also told her some naughty Japanese phrases i had saved on my phone for that other Japanese girl from my class earlier that i didnt use. She acted all shocked but was laughing.

4. I took her along with me for a beer run, we talk sex related topics like what she likes about American guys, apart from liking Caucasian features and wanting mixed race kids, she says Korean and Jap guys ****s are smaller too(she said it not me lol) i asked her if shes been with an American yet which she claims to not have been.

5. Anyway, i didnt kiss her yet or try to do her(had her isolated with me last night too and all i had to do was escalate in my car or ask to see her apt) :/
Thats my main sticking point right now. Im gonna go for it no later than Friday, last night wouldve been better cause i was emboldened and so was she. Chalk it up and bag it up next time.

6. I probably am a bit arrogant right now I would agree, its more just the evolving not caring attitude. However, I pretty much get along with everyone as im always fist bumping everyone, telling pple i like their shirts or necklace or w/e. I give credit where its due too when i lose at pong or w/e. I get alot of youre a pretty chill guy comments as well and maintain my cool, if you think this seems too much like rapport seeking or supplicating let me know cause I can scale it back.

7. I do praise girls too some, this last J-Girl was holding her umbrella over my head while we went into stores on the beer run(it was pouring rain). And i had a hat and coat on so this could be seen as a major IOI(her taking care of a prized man). I showed my appreatiation for these gestures by thanking her(should thank her with a kiss instead). I mix praise in with teasing, ive called her a serial killer several times cause she is pre med and likes the movie Saw so i jumped all over that and she cant stop laughing and giggling each time i call her that. Bet shes never heard that from a man before lol.

8. Ill watch my mouth on those comments in future, i think that one was mild jealousy mixed in with too much beer that night(which is something ive been keeping under control, in fact i stopped my buddy from hooking up with a nasty fat chick on monday night). The final comment is spot on too, no more walks to the door bs for me.

9 .If you or any other DJs have any insights on this girl or in general id love to hear em, always looking to learn more!