I've noticed a recurring theme throughout your entire thread and in most of your posts. I think this is the real reason for your problems.
You set yourself tasks or goals to accomplish, because you want the end result, which is natural. For example, you want to be slimmer, you want to have sex with an attractive woman, you want a relationship, etc.
However, your ideas and methods to combat any of this are never direct, head on, to the point and ultimately; effective. You take the easier, more cowardly but less rewarding options that usually lead to little progress.
For example, getting sex/relationship/dates - You straight away hit the books, you hit internet sites, you use your parents.
For example, losing weight and getting a good body - Walking, herbal stuff, fat free sweets and weird health stuff.
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If you truly wanted to smack this area(s) of your life, instead you would:
For getting sex/dates etc - Get a good haircut, get/use some decent clothes and shoes/trainers and go out and approach lots of women in malls, bookstores, coffee shops, streets, gym, clubs both irectly and indirectly and go for it. That's opening, talking to them and then closing.
For your physique/health - Go running, join a quality gym and do weights and cardio, eat a quality diet with meat, veg, fruit, pasta, rice, eggs, milk etc. in a calorie deficit and actually change the way you look.
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Bottom Line - You take the cowardly, risk free but ultimately less helpful and rewarding options because you never step out of your comfort zones. You don't take plunges and you don't just go for it. It's always meticulous, cowardly and very safe; and you don't take on board advice from others, which means you keep sticking to these 'safe' ideas with little/no return.
Even look at the title of your thread - The date is Feb 2009, which is 1.5 years way, which is a very long time. This encourages you implicitly to do nothing for ages because the deadline isn't too impending as it stands. Also, notice "gf or get laid"; this means in theroy, you could post in 1.5 years saying "I'm still a virgin, but I'm dating this girl now so I guess it's ok." Notice how it's always safe, meticulous and never too ballsy and taking the plunge? Bad attitude to have in life.
MM