Participation in Communication. By Pulse.
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Hey, this is going to be a rather roundabout post that is going to cover many issues and topics, mostly centered around the need for some sort of cerebral rapport with your own emotions. I am going to organize it as conveniently as I can with the time I have, so hopefully this will allow for a minimal amount of confusion.
--------------------------------------------------------------
What this thread can help you with: A calm, collected, and simply suave boost to your own unique style, thought process, and overall being.
--------------------------------------------------------------
We're going to begin by understanding communication in general.
Most people are viewing these interactions as on/off, more of a ping-pong if you will than what actual and easy communication is all about; a constant loop of data and feedback. (we'll keep it simple this time around, lol)
I've made posts before about simple conversation, but we are going to take it a step further. What we are going to do now is help you learn to experience your own self, and then apply Don Juan tactics and maneuvers ON TOP of your own framework.
This is important for many reasons. First of all, if you hide yourself in a gambit of tactics and are running the ping-pong effect, it is hard to actually participate in the conversation. To clarify it further, this means that instead of actually participating, you are merely running around inside your own head, trying to keep on top of "DJing" the situation.
Although the "DJing" mindset is admirable if effective, it can leave some people a bit behind and lost, especially if they havn't learned to participate in conversations yet.
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Sometimes I read posts about "DJing" everybody. You know the posts, "hey DJ everyone man!". A current one that springs to mind is about "Omni-Kino" where you practice kino on everyone, not just the girl you'd like to enjoy being with. This post is no different in the sense that it covers communication in general, rather than girl-specifc interactions. Remember, however, that all interactions period reflect on you, yourself, and I, regardless of who it is with. Of course there are exceptions being your close friends and what not, but it is important to learn how to pilot the vehicle that is you.
But enough of this quasi-introduction, how about some skills and advice yes?
---------------------------------------------------------------
First of all, I am going to explain the mindset of Business.
I have a friend who always wears a suit. Always. He has a very fancy aesthetic, and in order to achieve the correct effect he must constantly carry himself in a manner of Business.
What business means to you, is COMPLETELY UP TO YOU. This is essential. Everyone has their own Business, get it?
I use the term business cause its associated with a proffesional, and directed mindset that is presented with tact, and a calm and effective patience to give it the "suave" effect.
Here are some keys to your own business mindset:
1)SLOW THE F*CK DOWN, HOMEBOY.
All too often I get IMs from people who are freaking out about so many details its amazing they care that much about them all.
With the suave business mindset, being relaxed is key. Slow the pace of your walk a bit, speak more slowly and accurately. Let people know that you ARE NOT AFRAID to let them UNDERSTAND YOU, AND YOUR BUSINESS COMPLETELY.
2)Open your Mind to Mindfullness.
This comes after slowing the f*ck down homeboy, because it requires the relaxed and calm observation of your environment, and all of it's intricacies. Keep in mind this is different from obsessing about your environment, which most people tend to do.
There is a difference from being receptive to all feedback, signals, facial expressions, tone of voice, etc (the list goes on of course) and from being so obsessed about them that you forget to particpate in what is actually occuring!
This is where some people have a slight advantage, as they have spent SO MUCH TIME worrying about signals and what not, that they can read anyone like a book. The nice thing about the business mindset is that you now get to use all this information in a suave and easygoing manner to propel any interaction where you feel it should go. Again, slowing down is such an amazing tool here, that I must stress it again.. Slow the **** down!
Mindfullness, broadly put, is the ability to consciously adhere conversational skills and interpersonal communication techniques to your interactions with others. I hope you appreciate what this means to your suave, proffesional aesthetic.
3)Keep a smooth focus of the 3rd environment.
What I mean by 3rd environment is what is presented between you, and whomever your audience is. I'll give a nice example, check it out.
Girl: Hey what's up hercules?
Boy: Not much, how have you been?
Girl: Oh great, I've really enjoyed these classes so far, but I still can't wait for the first snow of course!
This is the 3rd environment. Besides the obvious body language that she is amazingly attracted to you in every way, you must put the mindfull awareness into effect, by realizing you know more about what is being said than she does.
I'm not saying what she said is an obvious sign to her interest level, what I am saying here is that what she presents, and what you present, is the 3rd environment. Most people overlook this, like if they notice a particular body language, they try and remedy or apply something to it right away. Again, rule #1 - SLOW THE F*CK DOWn. and Again, Rule #2 - Stay mindfull.
By keeping the 3rd environment in check, you have a concious framework setup to acknowlege what is happening, what you are presenting, what is happening on their side, and what they are presenting, etc.
(If you can't see the advantage to this, contact me on aim @ Silentjohn)
4)Stay actual
What this means, is figure out who you are.. and use the calm collected, and confident business mindset to present it to your audience. This is where a LOT of dudes screw up. They start creating a fantasy environment, where if they stayed true to themselves they'd embrace so much more, and progress at an amazingly increased rate. This goes hand in hand with the whole NICEGUY/AFC vs DJ/PIMP debate. The main difference between the two, is that DJs and Pimps stay true, and actual to themselves.
What this does, is it finds your content for you, it finds how to react to things for you.
Disclaimer: I'm not saying present your self 100% no holds bard, UNLESS... that is an aspect of self that is so actual you can't overlook it. There is nothing at all wrong with tact.
-----
This post is pretty full for now, I am going to let it marinate and get some conversation going, so please post your input, your reflections, and ideas, But try and present them with the calm and collective Business manner.
You'll be amazed at how much easier it is.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Hey, this is going to be a rather roundabout post that is going to cover many issues and topics, mostly centered around the need for some sort of cerebral rapport with your own emotions. I am going to organize it as conveniently as I can with the time I have, so hopefully this will allow for a minimal amount of confusion.
--------------------------------------------------------------
What this thread can help you with: A calm, collected, and simply suave boost to your own unique style, thought process, and overall being.
--------------------------------------------------------------
We're going to begin by understanding communication in general.
Most people are viewing these interactions as on/off, more of a ping-pong if you will than what actual and easy communication is all about; a constant loop of data and feedback. (we'll keep it simple this time around, lol)
I've made posts before about simple conversation, but we are going to take it a step further. What we are going to do now is help you learn to experience your own self, and then apply Don Juan tactics and maneuvers ON TOP of your own framework.
This is important for many reasons. First of all, if you hide yourself in a gambit of tactics and are running the ping-pong effect, it is hard to actually participate in the conversation. To clarify it further, this means that instead of actually participating, you are merely running around inside your own head, trying to keep on top of "DJing" the situation.
Although the "DJing" mindset is admirable if effective, it can leave some people a bit behind and lost, especially if they havn't learned to participate in conversations yet.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes I read posts about "DJing" everybody. You know the posts, "hey DJ everyone man!". A current one that springs to mind is about "Omni-Kino" where you practice kino on everyone, not just the girl you'd like to enjoy being with. This post is no different in the sense that it covers communication in general, rather than girl-specifc interactions. Remember, however, that all interactions period reflect on you, yourself, and I, regardless of who it is with. Of course there are exceptions being your close friends and what not, but it is important to learn how to pilot the vehicle that is you.
But enough of this quasi-introduction, how about some skills and advice yes?
---------------------------------------------------------------
First of all, I am going to explain the mindset of Business.
I have a friend who always wears a suit. Always. He has a very fancy aesthetic, and in order to achieve the correct effect he must constantly carry himself in a manner of Business.
What business means to you, is COMPLETELY UP TO YOU. This is essential. Everyone has their own Business, get it?
I use the term business cause its associated with a proffesional, and directed mindset that is presented with tact, and a calm and effective patience to give it the "suave" effect.
Here are some keys to your own business mindset:
1)SLOW THE F*CK DOWN, HOMEBOY.
All too often I get IMs from people who are freaking out about so many details its amazing they care that much about them all.
With the suave business mindset, being relaxed is key. Slow the pace of your walk a bit, speak more slowly and accurately. Let people know that you ARE NOT AFRAID to let them UNDERSTAND YOU, AND YOUR BUSINESS COMPLETELY.
2)Open your Mind to Mindfullness.
This comes after slowing the f*ck down homeboy, because it requires the relaxed and calm observation of your environment, and all of it's intricacies. Keep in mind this is different from obsessing about your environment, which most people tend to do.
There is a difference from being receptive to all feedback, signals, facial expressions, tone of voice, etc (the list goes on of course) and from being so obsessed about them that you forget to particpate in what is actually occuring!
This is where some people have a slight advantage, as they have spent SO MUCH TIME worrying about signals and what not, that they can read anyone like a book. The nice thing about the business mindset is that you now get to use all this information in a suave and easygoing manner to propel any interaction where you feel it should go. Again, slowing down is such an amazing tool here, that I must stress it again.. Slow the **** down!
Mindfullness, broadly put, is the ability to consciously adhere conversational skills and interpersonal communication techniques to your interactions with others. I hope you appreciate what this means to your suave, proffesional aesthetic.
3)Keep a smooth focus of the 3rd environment.
What I mean by 3rd environment is what is presented between you, and whomever your audience is. I'll give a nice example, check it out.
Girl: Hey what's up hercules?
Boy: Not much, how have you been?
Girl: Oh great, I've really enjoyed these classes so far, but I still can't wait for the first snow of course!
This is the 3rd environment. Besides the obvious body language that she is amazingly attracted to you in every way, you must put the mindfull awareness into effect, by realizing you know more about what is being said than she does.
I'm not saying what she said is an obvious sign to her interest level, what I am saying here is that what she presents, and what you present, is the 3rd environment. Most people overlook this, like if they notice a particular body language, they try and remedy or apply something to it right away. Again, rule #1 - SLOW THE F*CK DOWn. and Again, Rule #2 - Stay mindfull.
By keeping the 3rd environment in check, you have a concious framework setup to acknowlege what is happening, what you are presenting, what is happening on their side, and what they are presenting, etc.
(If you can't see the advantage to this, contact me on aim @ Silentjohn)
4)Stay actual
What this means, is figure out who you are.. and use the calm collected, and confident business mindset to present it to your audience. This is where a LOT of dudes screw up. They start creating a fantasy environment, where if they stayed true to themselves they'd embrace so much more, and progress at an amazingly increased rate. This goes hand in hand with the whole NICEGUY/AFC vs DJ/PIMP debate. The main difference between the two, is that DJs and Pimps stay true, and actual to themselves.
What this does, is it finds your content for you, it finds how to react to things for you.
Disclaimer: I'm not saying present your self 100% no holds bard, UNLESS... that is an aspect of self that is so actual you can't overlook it. There is nothing at all wrong with tact.
-----
This post is pretty full for now, I am going to let it marinate and get some conversation going, so please post your input, your reflections, and ideas, But try and present them with the calm and collective Business manner.
You'll be amazed at how much easier it is.
