Psychology of an AFC who posts here

[I'm Joe Dirt]

I'm sure you've all seen these posts, the ones where someone posts "im a loser" and then talks about how he's x years old and never had a gf or female friend or what have you.

Then he tells us how he is hopeless and proceeds to give us a laundry list of things wrong with him.

They never ask anything specific, only stuff like "how do I get better?" and that's only occasionaly.

My question is WHATS THE POINT OF THESE POSTS? Are these guys looking for pity or something? Do they want us to make fun of them? What exactly are they trying to accomplish?

If you have a specific question or you have specific issues you want to work out, tell us what your issues are and be willing to start doing something about that. I don't care, and I'm sure most people here don't care, about someone's life story and how pathethic they are.

 

[comic_relief]

Originally posted by I'm Joe Dirt My question is WHATS THE POINT OF THESE POSTS? Are these guys looking for pity or something? Do they want us to make fun of them? What exactly are they trying to accomplish?

I believe that the point is that they want us to have pity for them. Most sites baby them into thinking that it is going to be all right. Not this type of site. They need a kick in the a$$. That is what we give them. I never came here with that bs.

 

[EverywhereMan]

My question is WHATS THE POINT OF THESE POSTS? Are these guys looking for pity or something? Do they want us to make fun of them? What exactly are they trying to accomplish?

My guess is that in these types of post, the person is trying to do a confessional, to the max. It's almost as if the more honest they are about their feelings (ending up in them seeming ever more pathetic), the better they will improve.

This feminized way of doing things is, I think, just one more symptom of being AFC. Whereas a RealMan/DJ would post specific questions that would help them in their quest, stemming from the fact that they are generally more positive, this person thinks that proclaiming their patheticness is somehow "the first step".

 

[StrangeButTrue]

I think the way they post is a complete reflection of why they are "losers" and "pathetic" in the first place. Without bothering to seek out the necessary information for themselves, they come here looking for the easy answer. "Help me" they say, without so much as taking a glance in the bible.

They want the magic line, the silver bullet that will kill every girl- every math problem has a way to be solved, right? Not women- they are an undefined line, if you catch my drift.

And so instead of forging ahead, they "Ask the teacher" like they have all their lives, and expect a simple, categorical answer. "Open with line A, proceed to options B and C, close with D after X minutes."

This is part of the reason why a lot of people who excel in school often are surpassed by less intelligent but more daring, charismatic people in the real world after college. They say "it's not what you know it's who you know," but really it's "what you do."

They have relied on others to answer their questions in a concise, logical fashion all their lives, why expect any different now? They don't realize that it takes a journey, not an answer.

Now that was a damned fine post, if I do say so myself.

 

[Visceral]

I think these confessional/laundry list/"Have pity on me" posts are dead on; the guys who write them are damaged goods, not diamonds in the rough.

These guys don't ask specific questions because technique is the last thing wrong with them. Think about it, they've learned so much but still haven't done anything with it ... they've got to dig a lot deeper than technique to find and fix what's wrong with them.

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

Hmm those all seem to be good answers. I also agree that people who post stuff like that really need to get their inner game going. They need to GET IT on a deeper level. Techniques will never work if you are doing them with the wrong frame of mind.

A technique is like a tool, say a screwdriver. If you are trying to use a screwdriver and you are just poking at something with it, its not going to work for you. But if you understand the dynamics of how a screw driver works and why it works then you will know to use it properly and turn it the right way and everything and it will work like magic.

So if you are using a pick up line or some other technique or routine you found online here or in other materials, but you don't understand the dynamics of the situation and you have no idea whats going on behind the scenes (i.e. youve just been handed a screwdriver but you have no idea how to use it), its just not going to work.

I also wonder about one more thing, that is what makes them make these posts? I mean do they see another post like it and just imitate it? Cause it seems like every few days someone will just spontaneously come here and admit they're a dumbass. Its like a weird phenomena, as if there is something about this website, be it the color scheme or the layout that makes guys want to register and admit they're dumbasses spontaneously.

 

[Visceral]

Originally posted by I'm Joe Dirt
I also wonder about one more thing, that is what makes them make these posts? I mean do they see another post like it and just imitate it? Cause it seems like every few days someone will just spontaneously come here and admit they're a dumbass. Its like a weird phenomena, as if there is something about this website, be it the color scheme or the layout that makes guys want to register and admit they're dumbasses spontaneously.

Maybe they're tired of pissing on themselves in their minds and want to do it where everyone can know how much they suck.

We're probably dealing with more self-hatred than we can possibly imagine.

 

[coldcoal]

I have less a problem with these types of posts and more with how those who post them simply wait for someone to come along and tell them what they want to hear.

 

[Inquire]

tat sounds like the dude viper.

 

[Visceral]

Originally posted by coldcoal
I have less a problem with these types of posts and more with how those who post them simply wait for someone to come along and tell them what they want to hear.

They probably think that they're hopeless cases and need someone to tell them that they're not, or that they don't have an iota of what it takes to make progress and so they need someone to tell them that progress is actually easy.

 

[Marcopolo]

I have a theory that it is societal conditioning as much as anything. It is the well known idea that people at AA meetings are supposed to confess all their sins of being an alcaholic all of their lives, as the "first step" to recovery. Regardless if that is a good strategy in that scenerio is seems that that is the common theme running through all of the so-called 9 step programs.

 

[Mischka]

People at AA meetings are better off. At least they know what their problem is. A nice guy who knows that being nice is the problem has made a big step forward.

Imagine this: "Gee, whenever i drink this stuff in these places called bars, I feel dizzy, get a terrible headache the next day and once I even got fired from my job. I really don't know what to do, life is not fair. Do you guys have any advice?"

 

[Smooth Player 056]

2 types of us here....the dreamers and the do-ers

 

[Nocturnal]

1) They feel that maybe by explaining their situation, they will gain acknowledgement from other people, either in the form of pity or constructive criticism. Basically they want attention so they know someone cares just a little bit about them. Read: insecure.

2) They want to affirm that they are at least sure of themselves in the sense that they know they are "losers" or whatever. They think that if they know who they are, they are one step ahead, even if who they are sucks.

I made a few of those posts when I first got here.