Psychology girl

[mahoney]

AlexDP i think you are doing fine so far, you've come across reasonably naturally - which is the most important thing

If she's truly interested, she will never be too busy.

So yea... excuses are always bull crap.

I don't actually agree with this,

1) I've been interested in girls and been too busy to see them

2) Girls have similar worries about this kind of stuff, and don't want to be seen as a pushover, they don't want to be taken for granted, or that they'll drop everything at the drop of a hat to see a dude

3) When its someone you've just met, no matter how interested either of you are - they shouldn't be the most important thing in your calender, and you shouldn't be the most important thing in theirs.

4) Girls don't just fall into two camps, interested and non-interested. Most girls don't actually know what they want, or whether they are interested, particularly at an early stage. Most dudes don't actually know either, its only when its handed to them on a plate that they then start to think "do i actually want this one after all, really?"

 

[Chickfight]

AlexDP i think you are doing fine so far, you've come across reasonably naturally - which is the most important thing



I don't actually agree with this,

1) I've been interested in girls and been too busy to see them

2) Girls have similar worries about this kind of stuff, and don't want to be seen as a pushover, they don't want to be taken for granted, or that they'll drop everything at the drop of a hat to see a dude

3) When its someone you've just met, no matter how interested either of you are - they shouldn't be the most important thing in your calender, and you shouldn't be the most important thing in theirs.

4) Girls don't just fall into two camps, interested and non-interested. Most girls don't actually know what they want, or whether they are interested, particularly at an early stage. Most dudes don't actually know either, its only when its handed to them on a plate that they then start to think "do i actually want this one after all, really?"

You got it all wrong man.

1) Yeah, so have I, but we're not girls are we? If you ask her and she has high attraction, she'll either come anyway or apologize profusely and give you an alternative.

2) Some girls that like you will play hard to get and reject you asking her at initially, but soon as it's apparent you don't give a damn, they start chasing you. You're projecting YOUR thinking on to girls. They don't react logically (oh ill not make him my priorty cause i dont want to be taken for granted) and if they do, it will quickly give way to their stronger emotional response.

3) You're right they shouldn't be the most important thing on yours, but you sure as hell should be the most important on theirs. AGAIN, girls are not guys. Embrace your masculinity. A mans love is life and a woman life is love.

4) Yes, they do, they know exactly what they want, and whether they're interested or not all within 5 minutes of meeting a guy. However, as a man, your role is to ACT and give her the oppourtunity to have get what she wants by asking her out. If she declines, it's a sure sign she is either NOT interested or misguided, to which your indifferent will quickly set her straight.

Don't come on here giving advice, when you obviously have no clue. Give the Dj bible a read.

 

[mahoney]

You got it all wrong man.

If i had things wrong in my life, i would be the one asking for advice.

1) Yeah, so have I, but we're not girls are we? If you ask her and she has high attraction, she'll either come anyway or apologize profusely and give you an alternative.

Naw, a girl with self-respect doesn't come running at drop of a hat. If they're truly interested they know how to play a strategy too.

2) Some girls that like you will play hard to get and reject you asking her at initially, but soon as it's apparent you don't give a damn, they start chasing you. You're projecting YOUR thinking on to girls. They don't react logically (oh ill not make him my priorty cause i dont want to be taken for granted) and if they do, it will quickly give way to their stronger emotional response.

Didn't say they don't make you their priority. But what they do know is not to show or play their cards too early. They also like to find things out about you, dudes decide they like a girl way too early (all the cases of oneitis on this board are from dudes who barely even know the girl), girls play a longer game with someone they're interested in

3) You're right they shouldn't be the most important thing on yours, but you sure as hell should be the most important on theirs. AGAIN, girls are not guys. Embrace your masculinity. A mans love is life and a woman life is love.

lol if you want a clingy girl then maybe, otherwise no

4) Yes, they do, they know exactly what they want, and whether they're interested or not all within 5 minutes of meeting a guy. However, as a man, your role is to ACT and give her the oppourtunity to have get what she wants by asking her out. If she declines, it's a sure sign she is either NOT interested or misguided, to which your indifferent will quickly set her straight.

A girl knows when she is definitely interested in a dude, this dude can't really fail. And she knows when shes definitely not interested in a dude. this dude can never succeed. There is a large proportion of dudes in the middle, if you are one of these then it is your behavior that really counts (which is why so many dudes on this board mess things up - they had a chance and messed it up by being needy, clingy, overinvested, boring, 'nice' etc). About this type of dude she hasn't made mind up. Girls are illogical and dither about stuff, they're often not really sure

Put it this way - if you are right and girls know exactly who they do and don't want within 5 mins - then anything you do is kind of irrelevant, they will get the ones they want regardless of what you do. Its because many dudes are in the middle and they don't know, that all this stuff becomes important. Girls are very good at being undecided

Don't come on here giving advice, when you obviously have no clue. Give the Dj bible a read.

I can only base my advice on experience. OP should read whatever different advice he likes and make his own decision about what he thinks is best. He seems to be doing well with this girl so far so he's doing something right

 

[AlexDP]

So we hung out. However because we both had to study pretty much all day, we did so on the university grounds. Neither of us lives near the campus so there wasn't really a place to make out. Which annoyed the crap out of me. Nevertheless she still initiated all contact, kept talking throughout the day and ignored her friends to be with me.

But: no kiss. So I'm pretty much letting this one go if I come across a better girl.

Also, I texted her today and playfully said she couldn't go with me when I drive down route 66, because I bet she lacked the experience to be a good driver (she only recently got her driver's licence). To which she responded quite angrily saying that she had better friends to travel with and who I was to assume that she wanted to travel with me. Talk about not getting a joke, jeez. Anyways, I got the exact same text from her half an hour later. I think she doesn't really understand why I don't reply or something.

Also, it might be me, but I get the vibe that this girl is very serious. I doubt she has ever had sex with someone outside of a relationship and I'm not sure how many relationships she has had (but I'm guessing not many).

 

[Chickfight]

So we hung out. However because we both had to study pretty much all day, we did so on the university grounds. Neither of us lives near the campus so there wasn't really a place to make out. Which annoyed the crap out of me. Nevertheless she still initiated all contact, kept talking throughout the day and ignored her friends to be with me.

But: no kiss. So I'm pretty much letting this one go if I come across a better girl.

Also, I texted her today and playfully said she couldn't go with me when I drive down route 66, because I bet she lacked the experience to be a good driver (she only recently got her driver's licence). To which she responded quite angrily saying that she had better friends to travel with and who I was to assume that she wanted to travel with me. Talk about not getting a joke, jeez. Anyways, I got the exact same text from her half an hour later. I think she doesn't really understand why I don't reply or something.

Also, it might be me, but I get the vibe that this girl is very serious. I doubt she has ever had sex with someone outside of a relationship and I'm not sure how many relationships she has had (but I'm guessing not many).

Wow, this girl really wants to get a rise out of you. Good job on not responding.

 

[Brooxy]

Well done Alex. She definately sounds like hard work, hilarious how she always comes crawling back and apologises. What are you looking for at the moment btw, LTR? How you deal with her depends on that really.

 

[AlexDP]

Well done Alex. She definately sounds like hard work, hilarious how she always comes crawling back and apologises. What are you looking for at the moment btw, LTR? How you deal with her depends on that really.

I'm looking for a LTR, yes. Might not be what most guys after, but I really like to get to know a person and share memories with her. But, I'm also looking for a girl who will not go mental on me. I mean, I've been through a lot with my BPD ex and there is no way I am going to go through so much drama again.

Today she was in the library AGAIN by the way. She had class, but didn't go and spent the day in the library instead. I didn't see her until two hours and a half ago, but she had seen me apparently. Anyways, she texts me (too afraid to come up to me?) that she can see me. I go up to her, we say hi, I say, look, I'm taking a break in 30 minutes, you can come with.

30 minutes later we take a break and start talking about Disney films. Well, she starts talking about it anyway. After that I explain to her how I like that the earlier Disney films are often more complex and harsh than you'd think at first. For example when Bambi's mother dies, his father coolly says "your mother can't be with you anymore". She says that's because he doesn't understand his son and feels no empathy. I say he does, but he's being a good father and spelling out the truth so his son, who is still desperately looking for his mom and anxious, can come to terms with reality.

After this stuff she goes on and on about how complex I am and that sometimes things are what they are. Anyways, I let her talk for a while, we flirt a bit, lots of eyecontact, lots of touching. At that point we've been talking for an hour or so and I have to go studying and she's going home. So she gives me a kiss on the cheek and leaves.

I didn't bring up how angry she was and neither did she. I'm not sure why she always gets angry, wants attention, apologises and then either invites me to do something or is just, miraculously, where I am.

 

[Brooxy]

Interesting stuff. To be honest I think you answered it yourself, her variability is probably explained that she hasn't had much experience and lacks self confidence which is why she gets so upset at your jokes. Furthermore this goes hand in hand with the fact that she seems very intellectual and seems to be analysing you a lot. You're also clearly a very intelligent guy as you have two degrees so maybe it's a good thing that you have found a someone who you will be able to have good conversations with.

Also i've noticed that clever girls tend to be quite feminist (Why she reacted so bady to the driving and college comments.) and on the surface seem to dislike confident guys but deep down that is what they are really attracted to. I reckon you will find some difficulty breaking down her barriers as at the same time that she really likes you she is doesn't want to admit to herself that she's falling for you.

Or maybe I have it all wrong, what do you think?

 

[AlexDP]

I've pretty much got the same idea. But, she's a girl, so you never know