I met this girl about a year ago in the last semester of high school, we had never talked to each other before than but sort of hit it off a little bit the last few months. At this point, I wasn't really ready or looking for a relationship, and I was....as they say, an AFC. I didn't really know anything about the 'dating game' as you all know it, although I did know how to talk to girls and I wasn't as clueless as I could've been.
Well anyways, I had casual interest in this girl. She didn't have a boyfriend, I really liked spending time with her, but to be honest I wasn't sure where I wanted things to go w/ us. I thought about bf/gf.....wasn't really ready or wanting that so much. Thought about being just friends.....I thought that just didn't seem right. As you can see, I was just really confused about what kind of relationship I wanted with this girl. I had a suspicion that she liked me, but I couldn't really confirm it 100% at the time, I was just going based on feeling.
Fast forward to the last day of school (late June), I decide to give her an email asking if she wants to talk or hang out some time give me call (left her my number). I know an email is kind of lame....even worse I didn't get it directly from her. I definitely made a bad move on that one. I never got a reply...I figured "hmmm, maybe she wasn't interested afterall and just wanted to be 'in-school' buddies" if you know what I mean. I didn't think about it too much tho, I wasn't heartbroken by any means.
Summers over, college starts (we both go to the same college)...and there is definitely a lot of tension and awkwardness between us. We would make eye-contact, and then just look the other way and not say a word to each other. I was OKAY doing this because I realized that us being in any kind of relationship or even a meaningful friendship was probably not gonna happen given the fact she turned didn't reply to my email. Then one day it hit me...I realized all the signals she'd been given me. I remembered the day she asked me to walk her home, and I said I couldn't because I live the opposite direction.....and she was upset after I told her that. I remembered the time school had just ended and she said she was bored and had nothing to do....and being the nice guy that I was tried to suggest things she could do (of course not w/ me, I was oblivious). I knew I had to atleast talk to her and try to work things out....I realized that she DID in fact like me, I just missed the window of oppurtunity. So i told her "i know we used to hang out and everything, but lately it seems like you're not interested in talking or anything..." She said that she totally didn't mean it like that (made some other excuses) and then said we were 'cool' with a big smile on her face. I took it with a grain of salt...but figured it couldn't be a bad thing.
A month or so later I see her at the table, we say hi to each other kind of tentively (we're on talking terms I guess....). I sit down.....within like 2 minutes of me talking with some mutual acquiantences of ours, she mentions to her friend across the table "blah blah blah my boyfriend blah blah.". Damn....that really surprised me cuz I just assumed she didn't have a boyfriend. I was foolish enough to think that maybe we could've worked things out (i was and am ready for a relationship now I think)...but that was a big shock to my system. Although she said we were 'cool'...I just didn't sense that at all. I would make a comment, everyone at the table would agree with me like "Ya i know!" kinda thing, and she wouldn't even look at me. This happened several times in the next couple weeks, till I just said it wasn't worth it. I decided I was gonna remove herself from my system as obviously me being nice and trying to atleast get us back on friendly terms wasn't working, I wasn't getting any respect in return. So I saw her walk by...I didn't even look at her. I see her walking with her best friend (whom' i hadn't seen in 6 months) I said hi to her friend with a smile on my face and she smiled and said hey back. I wasn't playing games or anything, I just was legitametely sick of being treated like I don't exist, and her feeding me lines.
So I'm walking by...I see her again. I decide to do the usual walk by her, and she says "blue17?...." in kind of a tone which I thought suggested kinda like she misses me, doesn't want to lose me or whatever. It was the first time she said hi to me in about 6 months. About a week later....we see each other at the table w/ those same people, it still seems a little uncomfortable between us. We say hey and everything...and we also had a conversation! First time that happened in about 6 months....lol. It wasn't about anything particularly interesting but it was atleast a step in the right direction. Then later on...she says to her friend "it's the first valentines day I've had a boyfriend" and all that shizzo. She asks the guy sitting next to me something, she talks to the guy that walks up to the table, she gets one guy to help her with some math questions....she's basically talking to everyone but me. She used to give me her undivided attention even if there were 5 other people at the table, she would smile at me often, and always find excuses to spend time with together. Now she's treating me like i'm 'just another guy she went to high school with' as if nothing ever happened between us.
However, I thought I'd still be nice and say hi to her, and worst case I know that I came out the better person because I tried to work things out and did the best I could. So yesterday, I see her in the halls (we hadn't seen each other for 2 weeks, I thought she might be atleast be SOMEWHAT happy to see me) i'm like "Hey her name
"...she's just like "hey...." in a courtesy type way.
Well heres where we're at now, I just don't know what to do. Even though a relationship wouldn't happen between us, I still care about her and truly wish her the best. I still want to talk with her and find out what she's doin, but she'll barely talk to me unless I initiate it so that doesn't seem likely. Everytime I think "ok I should just ignore her" I think of how we had ended our relationship on such awkward and abrupt terms. Basically we were hanging out at the school dance and in-school during breaks having a good time like usual...then like 2 days later I sent her that email then suddenly it's all over like that??? If I hadn't of grabbed my balls and said hi to her after we'd been ignoring each other for 4 months, we prolly wouldn't have said a word at all. I just can't stand the uncertainty...I don't know why she's being so cold to me, and I don't know why exactly things ended the way they did. I just don't know what went on in her head back when we used to hang out, or whether I offended her in any way. I feel that if I ignore her I'll leave a lot of loose strings hangin', and I wouldn't want for that to happen if at all possible. I also see her atleast once a week at school, and it'd be awkward if we stopped saying hi to each other. Oh ya...school ends in just over a month, and after that we won't be going to the same school so unless something drastic happens I won't ever see her again.
I know this is way too long of a post about this girl, but a lot of complicated stuff has happened between us and it's gettin to me. I think a lot of people would say forget about her, but it's not that cut and dry in my opinion. I'd like to move on from this issue, or atleast resolve it because it really is bugging me a lot.
Well anyways, I had casual interest in this girl. She didn't have a boyfriend, I really liked spending time with her, but to be honest I wasn't sure where I wanted things to go w/ us. I thought about bf/gf.....wasn't really ready or wanting that so much. Thought about being just friends.....I thought that just didn't seem right. As you can see, I was just really confused about what kind of relationship I wanted with this girl. I had a suspicion that she liked me, but I couldn't really confirm it 100% at the time, I was just going based on feeling.
Fast forward to the last day of school (late June), I decide to give her an email asking if she wants to talk or hang out some time give me call (left her my number). I know an email is kind of lame....even worse I didn't get it directly from her. I definitely made a bad move on that one. I never got a reply...I figured "hmmm, maybe she wasn't interested afterall and just wanted to be 'in-school' buddies" if you know what I mean. I didn't think about it too much tho, I wasn't heartbroken by any means.
Summers over, college starts (we both go to the same college)...and there is definitely a lot of tension and awkwardness between us. We would make eye-contact, and then just look the other way and not say a word to each other. I was OKAY doing this because I realized that us being in any kind of relationship or even a meaningful friendship was probably not gonna happen given the fact she turned didn't reply to my email. Then one day it hit me...I realized all the signals she'd been given me. I remembered the day she asked me to walk her home, and I said I couldn't because I live the opposite direction.....and she was upset after I told her that. I remembered the time school had just ended and she said she was bored and had nothing to do....and being the nice guy that I was tried to suggest things she could do (of course not w/ me, I was oblivious). I knew I had to atleast talk to her and try to work things out....I realized that she DID in fact like me, I just missed the window of oppurtunity. So i told her "i know we used to hang out and everything, but lately it seems like you're not interested in talking or anything..." She said that she totally didn't mean it like that (made some other excuses) and then said we were 'cool' with a big smile on her face. I took it with a grain of salt...but figured it couldn't be a bad thing.
A month or so later I see her at the table, we say hi to each other kind of tentively (we're on talking terms I guess....). I sit down.....within like 2 minutes of me talking with some mutual acquiantences of ours, she mentions to her friend across the table "blah blah blah my boyfriend blah blah.". Damn....that really surprised me cuz I just assumed she didn't have a boyfriend. I was foolish enough to think that maybe we could've worked things out (i was and am ready for a relationship now I think)...but that was a big shock to my system. Although she said we were 'cool'...I just didn't sense that at all. I would make a comment, everyone at the table would agree with me like "Ya i know!" kinda thing, and she wouldn't even look at me. This happened several times in the next couple weeks, till I just said it wasn't worth it. I decided I was gonna remove herself from my system as obviously me being nice and trying to atleast get us back on friendly terms wasn't working, I wasn't getting any respect in return. So I saw her walk by...I didn't even look at her. I see her walking with her best friend (whom' i hadn't seen in 6 months) I said hi to her friend with a smile on my face and she smiled and said hey back. I wasn't playing games or anything, I just was legitametely sick of being treated like I don't exist, and her feeding me lines.
So I'm walking by...I see her again. I decide to do the usual walk by her, and she says "blue17?...." in kind of a tone which I thought suggested kinda like she misses me, doesn't want to lose me or whatever. It was the first time she said hi to me in about 6 months. About a week later....we see each other at the table w/ those same people, it still seems a little uncomfortable between us. We say hey and everything...and we also had a conversation! First time that happened in about 6 months....lol. It wasn't about anything particularly interesting but it was atleast a step in the right direction. Then later on...she says to her friend "it's the first valentines day I've had a boyfriend" and all that shizzo. She asks the guy sitting next to me something, she talks to the guy that walks up to the table, she gets one guy to help her with some math questions....she's basically talking to everyone but me. She used to give me her undivided attention even if there were 5 other people at the table, she would smile at me often, and always find excuses to spend time with together. Now she's treating me like i'm 'just another guy she went to high school with' as if nothing ever happened between us.
However, I thought I'd still be nice and say hi to her, and worst case I know that I came out the better person because I tried to work things out and did the best I could. So yesterday, I see her in the halls (we hadn't seen each other for 2 weeks, I thought she might be atleast be SOMEWHAT happy to see me) i'm like "Hey her name
"...she's just like "hey...." in a courtesy type way.Well heres where we're at now, I just don't know what to do. Even though a relationship wouldn't happen between us, I still care about her and truly wish her the best. I still want to talk with her and find out what she's doin, but she'll barely talk to me unless I initiate it so that doesn't seem likely. Everytime I think "ok I should just ignore her" I think of how we had ended our relationship on such awkward and abrupt terms. Basically we were hanging out at the school dance and in-school during breaks having a good time like usual...then like 2 days later I sent her that email then suddenly it's all over like that??? If I hadn't of grabbed my balls and said hi to her after we'd been ignoring each other for 4 months, we prolly wouldn't have said a word at all. I just can't stand the uncertainty...I don't know why she's being so cold to me, and I don't know why exactly things ended the way they did. I just don't know what went on in her head back when we used to hang out, or whether I offended her in any way. I feel that if I ignore her I'll leave a lot of loose strings hangin', and I wouldn't want for that to happen if at all possible. I also see her atleast once a week at school, and it'd be awkward if we stopped saying hi to each other. Oh ya...school ends in just over a month, and after that we won't be going to the same school so unless something drastic happens I won't ever see her again.
I know this is way too long of a post about this girl, but a lot of complicated stuff has happened between us and it's gettin to me. I think a lot of people would say forget about her, but it's not that cut and dry in my opinion. I'd like to move on from this issue, or atleast resolve it because it really is bugging me a lot.
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