Preparing for a LTR Burial

[Kailex]

Let me be honest for a second, Desdi - I found someone who I am currently sharing my life with.

She has had none of the hallmarks of all of my previous relationships/plates. She MIGHT be in the elusive 5% of quality range. We've been together for over a year and a half now and she's checked off a lot of boxes for me. I still qualify her every single day.

So now, I think, what if she went to Cuba for two weeks without me?
#1 - She wouldn't.

But what if she did?

#2 - She'd be finding ways to contact me while she was away.

What would happen when she came back?

#3 - First person she'd want to see is me and as immediately as possible.

Would she let a whole week go by without her seeing me and trying to spend an increased amount of time with me?

#4 - Absolutely not. And there's no way she'd be content with me not reaching out to her, she'd make it happen no matter how busy she is with work.


I'm sorry man, but this girl is failing all of the "keeper" checklists in my book. If you want to continue while being detached emotionally, go for it, but she's already failed. If you have to sit here and play the "timetable" game, then it's better for you to not engage this relationship on a serious level. Take it at face value or move on. But a woman of high interest is not taking that trip and then coming back to limited visits with you. Whether she cheated or not is absolutely moot. Her behavior after her return is all the evidence you need in order to come to a final verdict. I'm not saying that you are - but don't try to guess at what happened during the trip. Something might have, maybe nothing at all did happen. Regardless, her disregard for you since would leave me wanting to light that ship on fire and push it out towards the horizon.

 

[zekko]

I don't understand you young guys, wtf is the deal with facebook.com that you want to advertise your ststus, and share personal information with strange women with?

I think there must be something about us older farts that overvalue our privacy, or just hold on to our old habits. I don't have Facebook, and I don't really like having details of my life publicized. But I can certainly see how things like Facebook could be useful tools for attracting and picking up women. Or at least for identifying potential targets.

 

[Desdinova]

@Kailex: excellent post. I haven't bothered to guess what happened on the trip. I honestly don't care. She may or may not have fvcked around. My interest in her hasn't been all that high from the beginning. I figured she would or wouldn't elevate my interest with her behavior. My interest coasted along around the same level, and because of her nearly 1 month absence, it has dropped quite low.

I'm writing her a breakup letter mostly out of courtesy. I don't hate her, but I don't want to be with her. I drop women without explanation if they fvck around or highly piss me off. I don't feel either of those ways with this woman.

I'm sending her the message this evening and then going no contact.

 

[Kailex]

@Desdinova - You don't always need an explanation in order to drop someone. In fact, the dating world would be much better off if relationships took this approach versus staying for completely ridiculous reasons. It took me until my 30's to realize that I should just drop people who weren't adding value to my life, and not only to drop them, but I could just drop them for the smallest of reasons.

Much like your situation now, I didn't hate a lot of the women I ditched, I simply didn't think they were representative of the type of woman I wanted in my life for more than a few weeks. So why keep them around for any more time than need be? In your case, it's almost a year long of a relationship, but a 1 month break definitely does not a relationship make nor maintain. This is NOW, imagine what it might be like in the future.

You're making the correct decision.

 

[Muscle brain]

The Power of the Pu$$y!
This H0es ain´t Loyal and jump from C0cks to C0cks like Jane in a Tarzan movie.
Forget about LTR women just want to have Fun and Wild S3X.
If you don´t provide it to them today she will always find another dude who will stand to attention..
I work in a well know Fashion store since years with more than 40 gorgeous Woman and i banged a lot of them.
Some of them trust me a lot. I look good, train 5 times a week and eat clean since 6 years.
We go out every weekend and those girls tell me things that they usually say in the women locker room.
Like with whom they banged for the weekend and who´s the biggest $lut right now in the store and freaking sh1t i can´t even wright here...
So long story short i will never ever trust a gyal and do a LTR with them. Even when you think that you have find the PEARL..
Forget it.
Monday is you
tuesday is jack
wednesday is tom and so on..
Just Bang the Ladys, have fun, enjoy the Pu$$y, but never Waste your money and Precious time.

 

[Muscle brain]

I almost forgot!
If you didn't Hit her for a long time.. When you do.
Pay close attention to what she screams while you Do her sometime you find out which other guy she´s F***ing
Because she screams his name softly.. Make a movie and listen closely it will shock you.

 

[Desdinova]

Breakup message sent. I've decided against posting the message here. It's none of your business LOL.

She's on her way home from work right now. She probably won't get it until later this evening. I have no clue if my phone is going to blow up or what.

Woman #1 has already acknowledged my status

 

[Muscle brain]

Breakup message sent. I've decided against posting the message here. It's none of your business LOL.

She's on her way home from work right now. She probably won't get it until later this evening. I have no clue if my phone is going to blow up or what.

Woman #1 has already acknowledged my status

Welldone DON

 

[LiveYourDream]

Today, I read the archived thread, asking men to share "if they had one piece of advice, to pass on to someone, about women..."

As I read, I happened across what you gave, as your one piece of advice, back in 2009.

It was great advice.

YOU are more important than any woman in existence. You must take care of YOURSELF before you take care of any woman. If something is causing problems in your life (including the woman) you need to eliminate that problem from your life.

Your goals and priorities come before any woman's goals and priorities. NEVER sacrifice what is important to you to impress a woman. If you do, you will eventually look back and wonder why you wasted so much time and enery on HER while neglecting what's important to you.

Here at this crossroads in your life, 6 years later, you stayed true to yourself and clearly demonstrated that you don't just write it, but you live it. Great respect to you for that.

 

[Atom Smasher]

So, how did she react?

 

[C-quenced]

So, how did she react?

Her reaction doesn't really matter. I don't even think he owed her a breakup message to be honest. I would've just let that hoe figure it out for herself.

 

[Desdinova]

So, how did she react?

With acceptance, at least as far as I can tell. You can't see a woman bawling her eyes out through a Facebook message, which is a nice benefit.

I would've just let that hoe figure it out for herself.

I could've done that, but I felt the need to drive the point home, at least with this woman. When she's single and lonely at age 45, perhaps she'll look back on her mistakes while I'm fvcking her daughter.

 

[LiveYourDream]

if you are willing to share, why do you think it worked out the way it did?

 

[Desdinova]

if you are willing to share, why do you think it worked out the way it did?

I had told her that I wouldn't accept a woman who keeps orbiters. To put myself on the same level, I told her I wouldn't keep any as well. I let her know that it's disrespectful to do so, and if we were to be in a committed relationship, we should take it seriously. She brought up the issue of letting go of her orbiters a few times, insisting that it's okay to keep them while in a committed relationship, and not only that, it's okay to compliment them in front of me because "that's just the way she is". If she would have told me it's okay for me to flirt with other women in front of her, I probably would've kept her around for sex until the relationship fizzled out. She didn't do that, so I concluded that respect in this regard is a one way street. That's not the way to guarantee success in a committed relationship, so I ended it.

As with her absence after her return from Cuba, I was going to NEXT her based on that until she actually contacted me.

Looks like she blocked me on Facebook. Always happens when they're pissed off.

 

[Kailex]

When she's single and lonely at age 45, perhaps she'll look back on her mistakes while I'm fvcking her daughter.

She'll never realize it was "her" fault, and you know that. Which is unfortunate, but if all women actually had that realization, it'd actually be a message they'd pass down, but such is not the case.

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

I had told her that I wouldn't accept a woman who keeps orbiters. To put myself on the same level, I told her I wouldn't keep any as well. I let her know that it's disrespectful to do so, and if we were to be in a committed relationship, we should take it seriously. She brought up the issue of letting go of her orbiters a few times, insisting that it's okay to keep them while in a committed relationship

So you imposed a boundary. She didn't comply. You stuck around until her vacation without you (further disrespect IMO), and then she disappeared. You then ended it.

I'm not trying to be hard on you man, but ...

In exclusive relations, be a dictator with your boundaries: Either a woman fully complies with your expectations of respect, or she's out. If you vacillate, you lose.

 

[Desdinova]

I'm still new to using boundaries. This is the first time I've actually done it. I'll get better over time.

@Kailex: I know she's likely to just delete the message and think I'm the one in the wrong. Whatever. I felt it was worth it to write her a message regardless. It doesn't matter if it was for her or more for me. What matters is that it's over and I'm not wasting anymore time and energy on it.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I'm still new to using boundaries. This is the first time I've actually done it. I'll get better over time.

What matters is that it's over and I'm not wasting anymore time and energy on it.

Onward and upward.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Enforcement is the hard part. A higher quality woman will be a lot sneakier than this one too.

Could the opposite be true as well? Is it possible that a higher quality woman would have a greater level of integrity, so an agreement made would be an agreement kept?

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

Could the opposite be true as well? Is it possible that a higher quality woman would have a greater level of integrity, so an agreement made would be an agreement kept?

It's a common SoSuave mantra, that women--who are strictly governed by their emotions--cannot honor rules. I wholeheartedly disagree. There are many women prisoners who break the law; but there are even a greater percentage of men.

Honoring rules is not gender, but individual-specific.