Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Powerful Oneitis Tip

PalmerTheCharmer

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OK, so here's the deal.

I've got oneitis.

..or rather, I had oneitis. Until now.

I'll explain. There was this HOT girl at my work. I mean HB10. Supermodel looks. I'm not exaggerating. She is one of about only two women I have seen in my entire life that have literally made my jaw drop. Physically, she was flawless.

In the beginning, she fancied me :D. I mean, a lot. I couldn't believe it, I mean I am an attractive guy but she was like 10 times hotter. She could (and did) have any guy she wanted. And for a while at least, she appeared to want me.

Unfortunately at the time I hadn't discovered this site, so over the period of about a year and half, my chumpish actions eventually led to her IL plummetting dramatically, and she went from fancying and trying to attract me to looking down at me like a piece of sh*t and literally laughing at me.

She has since left (I cried :( ) but then I found this site and decided to become a MAN, and about that I have no regrets. However because I was used to seeing her every day, even though I was not with her I developed a form of oneitis.

Its about 6 months since she left, and though obviously I have got over it now and am meeting more women, improving my game etc.. that cursed oneitis is still there. I can't (or rather, couldn't) seem to do anything about it. Every day, whether I wanted to or not, I kept thinking about ('what could have been' or 'how I blew it' or 'OMG she wanted me once' etc, etc)

Yes things have been easier since I discovered this site but as I'm sure plenty of you are aware, eliminating oneitis is certainly no easy task and does not happen overnight.

Or can it? Here is where my tip comes in.

I suddenly realised that I was only remembering all the positive memories associated with her. I tended to dwell on the times when she fancied me, was trying to attract me, etc. Basically the good positive memories. This is turn led to me equating her to being the prize, cursing myself for blowing my chances etc. I felt empty and defeated. No matter what I did or thought about, sooner or later that oneitis resurfaced its ugly head.

But today I had a revelation. Instead of thinking about all those fond(ish) memories, I thought.. 'actually this girl was a complete ***** to me on more than one occasion!' I thought about more recent times when she scoffed and looked down her nose at me, with a look of 'OMG I cant believe I was ever interested in you!', all the times I had seen her sh*t on men, etc.

'F*** THAT!!' was my mental response. I thought, who needs that b*tch anyway. I don't want to be treated like sh*t. I don't care what the woman looks like. No-one is gonna disrespect me like that. And if they do, I want no part of them.

Basically what I am saying is if you have severe oneitis and want to eliminate that girl from your mind, focus on all the negative things about her instead of the positive. Remind yourself of the times she treated you like sh*t. The times she disrespected you. Imagine her stuck on the toilet with chronic dioarrhea. (See what I'm getting at? Not so special now, is she??)

When you start to see her in a more negative light not only is she removed from that pedestal, you also begin to feel much more confident about yourself, and that painful emotional attachment is slowly severed, leaving a fresh feeling of freedom and renewed confidence. The oneitis slowly fades, and with a little time you can be saying (and meaning confidently) 'Hey who needs that beeatch anyways!!'.

Hope that helped someone. Try it, it worked for me.
 

disciple

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Yeah man, I'm eating my breakfast too.

A b*tch sitting on the toilet making ass cakes is not an image I want to walk around with all day.
 

PalmerTheCharmer

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Nnngh!

*Slaps himself on forehead*

OK forget that part!! Is anyone actually paying attention to the message here?!?
 

lao tzu

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Yes man i feel your message. I'm a little worried that it took you so long to figure out, but am glad you did . Sounds like an Attention ho, did she lose interest when you made it clear that she had you? Very attractive women are just very lucky.
 

PalmerTheCharmer

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She began to. Sadly I had no clue what I was doing wrong at the time, but now I realise. Also I'm ashamed to admit I became a little infatuated with her, and this led to some real AFC behaviour. Her interest dwindled very soon after that. The only reason it took me so long to figure it out was because I was looking at her with AFC rose tinted spectacles.

Attention ho?! Umm... yes. She has modelled. She has like two boyfriends a day. She always poses for photo opportunities. She wants to be a pop star (admittedly she is a talented singer, but I believe its more for the attention of the drooling male public when she performs).

It was hard, but I guess I'm better off without an attention ho really, she would only hurt me big time in the long run. Who needs 'em anyways?

I hope the lessons I learnt can help someone else. BTW thanks lao for the first sensible response to this tip.
 

ToughGuy

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To the point

I also experienced this, it really helps a lot to drop your interest leve and to get control on your emotions.

We as a guys have been programmed from our birth to admire, praise , give respect, and do good to all the ppl inspite of bull**** behaviour of others.

And our this nature cause the high interest level for the beautiful b!tch.

You are doing the rite thing friend
Keep it doing till you stop thinking bout that bull**** which you don't need in your life.

Good luck and keep it up!!

All of us guys must do to control our interest level.

yours

Tuffy
 

PalmerTheCharmer

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Thanks for the reassurance man.

I mean it is very hard to do, but definitely worth it. I feel like a better and stronger person now.

I have seen her a couple of times since discovering sosuave. One time at a dinner party organized by someone at work she was there. It was hilarious as all the AFC guys were surrounding her in awe, obviously inflating her ego but getting nowhere.

I deliberately sat at the opposite end of the room and paid no attention (I had read the DJB by now!). Later on in the evening I could see in the corner of my eye her deliberately trying to get my attention by standing right in front of me, expecting me to drool no doubt.

This time however, I simply paid her no attention and carried on talking to the person in front of me. I could see her expression, and she looked truly shocked and puzzled why I wasnt giving her the attention. It was like something she had never experienced before, and she was stunned.

OK I may not have got anywhere, but damn it felt good.

:D
 

Disconnect

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You took the first step, man! Getting over that oneitis is hard, especially! if she is a model. I would be kicking myself over the missed opportunity as well! But no worries. She has a bunch of problems of her own (all of us do). Think its easy being a model? I bet she's worried sh*tless about that pimple on her cheek, the one we men wouldnt give a crap about.

But you got over her, good job. Shes gone now, and its for the better. Let her castrate some other chump. You are now a man, and she couldnt do anything to you even if she tried!

GJ! :)
 

Krassus

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Weak, negative frame. Putting someone else down can never make you feel better in the long run. Negativity can create nothing BUT negativity. The ONLY way to make yourself feel better is to bring yourself UP. Not as easy as putting her down, i know, but the universal law is that your results will always be directly proportionate to the amount of effort you put in. It takes nothing to put her down, so that's exactly what you'll get out of it: a whole lot of nothing. Of course, you do have to be realistic, and if she WAS a b1tch, you should see her as such, but don't go overboard. Realize the truth, NOTHING more. Don't dwell on it, especially if it's negative. *Work on making YOURSELF better.* Make new friends, get into new hobbies, meet new women. Get a major purpose in life, a purpose so great that she seems insignificant next to it. This is the ONLY way to make yourself IMMUNE to oneitis for now and forever. A sense of purpose in life. That way she'll never dominate your thoughts.

P.S. Also, to a poster above calling her an attention wh0re. Quit judging. You don't know her. You've never even met her. For all i know, she lost interest because for MONTHS, she's been trying to tell this guy she liked him, and he did NOTHING. Would YOU like someone like that? No offence to the original poster, we've all been there, but i'm just trying to make a point. Just because she didn't like you doesn't mean she's a stupid, a b1tch, or both.
 

PalmerTheCharmer

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Yeah thanks for stealing my thunder krassus! Lol j/k :D

But yeah, you got a good point there. What I was trying to say wasn't to put the person down (as in thinking of them as a b*tch or whatever), but just remind yourself of only the negative memories associated with her. If you can remember her in a negative way you are less likely to suffer from oneitis.

Basically just remind yourself that she's not that special, not everything she does is wonderful, and that there are plenty more out there for you.

But of course improving yourself is definitely an important factor in the recovery process. Whether you end up with your oneitis or not, at least you will have made significant changes in your life and ended up a better person. Which is more important anyway.

Krassus what you were saying about the fact that I did nothing.. well it really wasn't quite that simple when you have to work with that person every day. Remember the phrase 'don't dip your pink in the company ink?' it really wasn't so easy. (Plus I was AFC at the time!!) But now she's left, who knows..

Well hope this has helped someone in some way. Oh and BTW thx for the support guys..

;)
 

SuSHI

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Originally posted by Krassus
Weak, negative frame. Putting someone else down can never make you feel better in the long run. Negativity can create nothing BUT negativity. The ONLY way to make yourself feel better is to bring yourself UP. Not as easy as putting her down, i know, but the universal law is that your results will always be directly proportionate to the amount of effort you put in. It takes nothing to put her down, so that's exactly what you'll get out of it: a whole lot of nothing. Of course, you do have to be realistic, and if she WAS a b1tch, you should see her as such, but don't go overboard. Realize the truth, NOTHING more. Don't dwell on it, especially if it's negative. *Work on making YOURSELF better.* Make new friends, get into new hobbies, meet new women. Get a major purpose in life, a purpose so great that she seems insignificant next to it. This is the ONLY way to make yourself IMMUNE to oneitis for now and forever. A sense of purpose in life. That way she'll never dominate your thoughts.

P.S. Also, to a poster above calling her an attention wh0re. Quit judging. You don't know her. You've never even met her. For all i know, she lost interest because for MONTHS, she's been trying to tell this guy she liked him, and he did NOTHING. Would YOU like someone like that? No offence to the original poster, we've all been there, but i'm just trying to make a point. Just because she didn't like you doesn't mean she's a stupid, a b1tch, or both.
For once, I acatully agree with everything you just said. nice.
 

Page3lover2

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Good post - I tried it with my ex-oneitis. I just looked at her and thought - you're not really that good looking are you. Thank **** I'm getting over it that's all I can say.
 
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