post-breakup feelings

[TheTraveller]

:crackup: A "nice guy" is the straight version of a woman's gay guy friends except that she could be attracted to the gay guy and would probably date him is it weren't for his sexual preference. :crackup:

I hope you're not implying anything here, Francisco!

jophil28, you got it exactly. I was dating a nice woman, and looking for a nice woman when I always knew, deep down, I wanted a complete woman. She wasn't complete. Done. It's time to move forward. Boot camp style.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I hope you're not implying anything here, Francisco!...

When women bring up other men that they know, they talk about all their guy friends who are nice that they'd never give the time of day romantically yet a lot of them have a gay friend who'd they would want to sleep with just once. Maybe it's a replay of the theory of women wanting what they can't have but I think it's more than that.

I was dating a nice woman, and looking for a nice woman when I always knew, deep down, I wanted a complete woman. She wasn't complete. Done. It's time to move forward.

My ex wife is one of the nicest women in the world. It's one of the reasons why we decided to part ways.

 

[TheTraveller]

My ex wife is one of the nicest women in the world. It's one of the reasons why we decided to part ways.

Fd, that rings so true in my ex-gf. It's like she seemed "too nice" or "too refined" for me. Of course, I really enjoyed being part of that "niceness", but it only goes so far.

It's like dating a female AFC. After a while, you may still like her but she repels you at the same time.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Fd, that rings so true in my ex-gf. It's like she seemed "too nice" or "too refined" for me. Of course, I really enjoyed being part of that "niceness", but it only goes so far.

It's like dating a female AFC. After a while, you may still like her but she repels you at the same time.

Well, my dirty little secret was that I was a nice guy when I married her. I was young and was following "the rules" that society dictates. After a few years (7 I think, oh the irony), I began realizing that marriage as it was defined was boring.

My wife loved being a "working housewife." I wanted to ditch the house and move the family to Europe just to change the monotony. It was way too big of a change for her. She felt comfortable in her stereotypical role. Me, I thrive on change. I mean come on, there's more to working, going to school functions, watching Saturday matinees at the movies and missionary sex, right?

And don't anyone jump in saying that I hate marriage. I just hate a boring marriage. No where is it written that a marriage shouldn't be passionate and lively. Marriage shouldn't mean castration of the spirit.

 

[jophil28]

Sometimes women are attracted to a gay guy BECAUSE of his gay sexual preference. Must be because he is perceived at "unavailable". Kind of like "forbidden fruit" . (Are you guys shaking your heads out there ?)
I know, I know - nobody EVER said that women made sense.

 

[joekerr31]

It's like dating a female AFC. After a while, you may still like her but she repels you at the same time.

unless your gf was marry poppins or a nun or some sh*t i don't believe in this 'too nice' concept.

she might be introverted, she might be repressed, she might be a lot of things - but every woman has a vixen buried away inside her.

you simply failed to bring it out.

let me tell you its a 1000 times easier to turn a good woman into a good woman with a wild side than it is to take a woman with a wild side and turn her in to a good woman!

 

[TheTraveller]

unless your gf was marry poppins or a nun or some sh*t i don't believe in this 'too nice' concept.

she might be introverted, she might be repressed, she might be a lot of things - but every woman has a vixen buried away inside her.

you simply failed to bring it out.

let me tell you its a 1000 times easier to turn a good woman into a good woman with a wild side than it is to take a woman with a wild side and turn her in to a good woman!

Fine. At the end of the day, I couldn't take the distance. How can I turn her into one with a wild side via long distance? Forget that! And turn her more sexy? It was not who she felt comfortable as. So I cut my losses.

 

[TheTraveller]

When women bring up other men that they know, they talk about all their guy friends who are nice that they'd never give the time of day romantically yet a lot of them have a gay friend who'd they would want to sleep with just once. Maybe it's a replay of the theory of women wanting what they can't have but I think it's more than that.

My ex wife is one of the nicest women in the world. It's one of the reasons why we decided to part ways.

Wow. Francisco, that is something that I have not heard often. Would you define nice in this context as predictable and too caring for you to take?

 

[azanon]

Well, my dirty little secret was that I was a nice guy when I married her. I was young and was following "the rules" that society dictates. After a few years (7 I think, oh the irony), I began realizing that marriage as it was defined was boring.

My wife loved being a "working housewife." I wanted to ditch the house and move the family to Europe just to change the monotony. It was way too big of a change for her. She felt comfortable in her stereotypical role. Me, I thrive on change. I mean come on, there's more to working, going to school functions, watching Saturday matinees at the movies and missionary sex, right?

And don't anyone jump in saying that I hate marriage. I just hate a boring marriage. No where is it written that a marriage shouldn't be passionate and lively. Marriage shouldn't mean castration of the spirit.

Interesting insight into Francisco. Two questions: 1. Was she (or you) not willing to compromise somewhere in-between the two extremes? 2. Why are you still in Minneapolis?

 

[a-rookie]

In the long run it was going to be more destructive for you,believe me i just got off one longer , got married ( now going through long distance divorce) and it hurts more.

Make a come back with new energy to the game.
One down move on seek next level look for better looking ones, better qualities. but for now have fun !

Now you know what to watch out for not to get involved into LDR that will backfire , drop you and make you feel guilty when it was already over and hope for it to have that person wait for you when you came home or at the airport .
Yeah , I know what youre talking bout, man.
So you're the money, prize, women dream bout men who are adventouros and travel all the time.

let her deal with her problems in her life, dude if really wanted to continue she would have insisted not to let go of her, or came back next day.

Think about it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Wow. Francisco, that is something that I have not heard often. Would you define nice in this context as predictable and too caring for you to take?

That's definitely part of it. Predictability often leads to boredom and being caring to the point of suffocating a person will definitely smother the relationship. The biggest thing that I've learned is that women mostly enjoy guys who have passion, and this doesn't just mean in bed. They enjoy guys who are living their own fulfilled lives. Nice guys lives are typically fulfilled by catering to women, not attractive.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Interesting insight into Francisco. Two questions: 1. Was she (or you) not willing to compromise somewhere in-between the two extremes? 2. Why are you still in Minneapolis?

There was a compromise, that's how we ended up in Minneapolis. It was a better quality of life and a kick ass live music scene. It was good enough for me (for the time being), I thought "baby steps."

I'm still here because the lifestyle (mostly) works for me for where I am at in my life. The popularity of cycling here is surprisingly good, great colleges (I'm working on an advanced degree), housing is great (just purchased a new one), the job I'm working at is extremely flexible with my time and I get to travel rather inexpensively and the cost of living is low as compared to similar major metropolitan areas.

I will admit that Minnesota is light on the type of women I'm attracted to (bored with midwestern women) but because of the industry here enough out of towners are moving in and I'm keeping busy. I'm glad I don't feel that I need a particular woman in my life right now. But trust me, my plan is to expand my horizons back to Europe once I finish school. Now whether I will shuttle some lucky woman with me or find a bird over there is still up in the air.

Well, I'm off to run (ride) in a race! Life's about passion and passion doesn't need to center around women.