Please Help Me To Change!

[Fedor]

Hey! Please give me some feedback, I'm not doing exactly great with girls right now, please don't tell me to read the DJB, thanks

About me:

. I am kinda introverted, but don't get me wrong, I am loud and confident around friends I am comfortable with, and can sometimes comfortably talk to strangers, but introvert in the fact that I hate being around large groups of people.

. I usually get attention from girls, but recently I am doing ****e. Since I started school I have had about 50 girls who liked me BUT

. I am AWFUL at getting more intimate with a girl, even when they tell me they like me I am slightly nervous, and am nervous to escalate with girls that I think like me... Have actively turned down sex requests because I am a pu$$y and am not confident with my penis 'cause the head is EXTREMELY sensitive (I found it hard to retract my foreskin for quite some time, and it's still kinda tight) and I have enlarged sebaceous glands.

. Am very uncomfortable around people I think are more popular than me/have a higher social status. This is a bad problem I have, I think it might be a personality disorder, and I do talk to people I think are more popular than me a lot, just never gets better.

. When I feel like I am the centre of attention/superior to those I'm around (or equal to those I am around) I am extremely confident and get LOTS of interest from all girls including strangers who happen to be nearby.

 

[jeffthechef]

I am kinda introverted, but don't get me wrong, I am loud and confident around friends I am comfortable with, and can sometimes comfortably talk to strangers, but introvert in the fact that I hate being around large groups of people.

I'm sorta the same...i dont hate being in large crowds though...here's the thing...when in you're in a large crowd...chances are people are having their own little conversations...and if everyone's focused on you, while you're talking...it shows they actually care about what you have to say.

. I am AWFUL at getting more intimate with a girl, even when they tell me they like me I am slightly nervous, and am nervous to escalate with girls that I think like me... Have actively turned down sex requests because I am a pu$$y and am not confident with my penis 'cause the head is EXTREMELY sensitive (I found it hard to retract my foreskin for quite some time, and it's still kinda tight) and I have enlarged sebaceous glands.

okay escalating isn't that hard..wouldn't you like it if a girl one day decided to escalate the kino on you?...and if you didn't like the girl, you would kindly tell her..that simple..girl's think the same way...turning down sex reqeusts is fine..especially if you're not interested int he girl...but if you're interested in these girls,t hen it's a problem...can't hep you with your penis issues cause i have no idea what a sensitive head does to you...enlarged sebaceous glands?

. Am very uncomfortable around people I think are more popular than me/have a higher social status. This is a bad problem I have, I think it might be a personality disorder, and I do talk to people I think are more popular than me a lot, just never gets better.

social status is mere perception...read the link i have in my signature...you have as much social value as you give yourself...you could be the most popular guy if you wanted to be...only thing stopping you is you...your insecurity...your weakness in allowing yourself to be constrained to the value delegated to you by your peers who aren't perfect themselves

if anything, you should judge yourself based on moral values...females will respect it...and even more so will the guys, the "popular' guys too...independence and self-respect are what other guys will like about a fellow man
they won't talk to you if you're needy and dependent...they dont want you to follow them around and kiss their asses...they'll naturally befriend you if you ARE (not act) independent and treat them the same way you treat the "unpopular" kids

. When I feel like I am the centre of attention/superior to those I'm around (or equal to those I am around) I am extremely confident and get LOTS of interest from all girls including strangers who happen to be nearby.

Kill your ego...it's really unattractive...once you begin to feel superior...your ego has grown too immense...it's fine to feel like the king..as long as you also believe fellow men are kings..unless of course they're rats/liars/cheaters..


Don't fall into the trap of high school's "reality"...the popularity game and all that ****...cause in 4 years...you're in college...and all that hs **** doesn't matter

focus on your inner self..morals and character..
studies...they lead you to college..and onto a job that you want
physical, mental, spiritual self
FAMILY...you won't realize until junior or senior year that you'll miss your family...18 years, 17 for me...of living with my family was wonderful...i was watching tapes of my sister and me from 0-5 yrs old...and you think about all the time you spent with your parents and how much they've helped you..and you'll realize going off to college and adult life alone can be quite sad.

Noticed how i didn't say girls?
that's the biggest mistake..DON'T FOCUS ONE GIRLS...once you do, you won't succeed

girls aren't attracted to men who spend their time chasing girls because they realize that these guys have no lives of their own...they lack so much that they have to chase girls

instead focus on the things i mentioned...and girls will come to you..
you're smart, have good character, family-oriented, physically built...
how can you not attract a lady/ladies?

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Since you have such a straightforward title, and I'd like to help out...

I am kinda introverted, but don't get me wrong, I am loud and confident around friends I am comfortable with, and can sometimes comfortably talk to strangers, but introvert in the fact that I hate being around large groups of people.

Don't worry, in large groups you don't have to talk to everybody.
The only tip I can really give you on this one is if you talk louder than everyone else, more people will be listening to you and may want to join in on your conversation.
Actually I lied, another tip I have for you is next time you find yourself in a large group of people, don't be a stranger!
The only way to overcome shyness is to confront it. If you're afraid to talk, talk. If you don't know what to say, speak the first thing that comes to your mind.

I am AWFUL at getting more intimate with a girl, even when they tell me they like me I am slightly nervous, and am nervous to escalate with girls that I think like me... Have actively turned down sex requests because I am a pu$$y and am not confident with my penis 'cause the head is EXTREMELY sensitive (I found it hard to retract my foreskin for quite some time, and it's still kinda tight) and I have enlarged sebaceous glands.

Okay, first, I want you to say this out loud 10 times:
"A c0ck is a c0ck and a pvssy is a pvssy."

Everybody is different sexually.
If there is a girl that YOU WANT to have sex with, it's THE THOUGHT that counts, NOT the package.

This will answer all your questions on escalation (hopefully):
The DiCarlo Kino Escalation Ladder

If anything, remember this one rule: pace yourself.
Not too fast, not too slow. Use your intuition because all men have the natural ability to please a woman, they just need to pay attention to HER FEELINGS.

Am very uncomfortable around people I think are more popular than me/have a higher social status. This is a bad problem I have, I think it might be a personality disorder, and I do talk to people I think are more popular than me a lot, just never gets better.

Well you have to make friends with them first dude. It does require some outgoingness, but you have to have conversations with popular kids. They're still people, just like you and me. Popularity is a measurement of social status and is not the only way to attract women.

You need to learn to be more confident when you're uncomfortable.
Realize, everything is going to be alright, no matter the outcome.

Imagine you're a little kid at the pool and it's you're first time diving off the big diving board at the deep end. You're on the edge of the board and nervous as hell! Well reality check - it only takes one leap to dive in.
The dive could be fun, exciting, boring, whatever! The point is that you're missing out on an experience by letting your discomfort take you over.

Discomfort is a way your body protects you from danger.
Realize, everything is going to be alright, no matter the outcome.

True confidence comes with experience.
To experience, you must practice.

So go out there and practice fighting those fears and discomforts!

 

[Fedor]

In all honesty, I think my only problem is that I am really uncomfortable talking to people I don't know why, I am so depressed because of this.

I really enjoy and need to talk to people naturally, but I just don't feel right lately. I just can't be comfortable around people! I am scared of silences, and I can't enjoy talking to people

I can't talk naturally either, I used to just say the first thing that I thought of, and things would just flow and stuff, but now I am uptight, uncomfortable and hold back from saying some things.

I think it might be depression.

I won't go to the doctors though, I'd feel too pathetic, and plus I could never tell my family how I feel, and even if I mention it they just deny it and don't do anything about it :/

 

[CaptainJ]

Get over yourself. It's not depression, it's just your hormones raging inside you, they did this sh1t and still do it occasionally to me. But then I just let it get me down for an hour, swallow the truth that it's my hormones raging and just get on with my life. I've found the best vent for these raging hormones is through weightlifting. Everyone and especially teens should be lifting weights 3x a week, if only to stop them becoming depressed.

You need to swallow your social anxiety and think back to the time when you didn't care about messing up, or silences, that's a powerful way of reclaiming your social frame, by thinking like you used to when it worked.

But you're not going to get better by whining on forums without looking to take heed of advice. Sosuave is not your psychiatrist. Read the DJ Bible, especially Pook's be a Man post. Start being more social and making an effort to talk to people. Once you make that first effort, it becomes easy.

 

[Fedor]

Get over yourself. It's not depression, it's just your hormones raging inside you, they did this sh1t and still do it occasionally to me. But then I just let it get me down for an hour, swallow the truth that it's my hormones raging and just get on with my life. I've found the best vent for these raging hormones is through weightlifting. Everyone and especially teens should be lifting weights 3x a week, if only to stop them becoming depressed.

You need to swallow your social anxiety and think back to the time when you didn't care about messing up, or silences, that's a powerful way of reclaiming your social frame, by thinking like you used to when it worked.

But you're not going to get better by whining on forums without looking to take heed of advice. Sosuave is not your psychiatrist. Read the DJ Bible, especially Pook's be a Man post. Start being more social and making an effort to talk to people. Once you make that first effort, it becomes easy.

Well... A couple of years ago, my single parent I lived alone with for all my life died (we was extremely close, seeing as she dedicated all her time to me, and couldn't go out that much due to disability [not wheelchair bound or anything]) and then I started feeling all these horrible things.

I read somewhere you are meant to get over it in like half a year or something, but I still feel the same 2 and a half years later. I think it might be that I felt so bad for so long it kinda became me.

I have tried to be how I used to be, but I have forgotten everything about my life before then really, and I can't really remember how I used to feel and stuff.

I think I am kinda over that as much as I ever can possibly be, but I am now used to all these bad feelings, and I also developed a personality where I don't show happiness :s.