Plate Mentioning Another Guy

[origin138]

Hey gents,

Haven't been here for a while, hope you're all doing well.

I've been seeing this HB7 for the past month, and things are progressing well. Good chemistry, no AFC behavior on my part, and she seems to have some good longer term potential.

Recently, she has been mentioning a male co-worker quite often. She usually mentions him when talking about her work day, and it's always in very neutral terms. The only remark she made that caught my attention and clued me in that there might be something more was "he is uplifting", meaning that he's positive and encouraging when she's frustrated.

I know from experience that hearing other dudes mentioned is a sign of cheating/hypergamous behavior waiting to happen, or that princess is in another castle.

I played it cool, and showed no jealousy, but I am finding myself withdrawing from her as I trust my gut.

I'd like your thoughts on handling plates who mention other men. Asking about this guy isn't an option, and neither is showing jealousy. Should I withdraw and fade out? If I do ask her about it, she'll talk her way around it as any woman would. She'd also likely be repulsed by this AFC move.

What would SoSuave do?

Thanks.

 

[SXS]

Depends on what you want from her.

 

[Bible_Belt]

You missed your chance, but the next time you hear something like that, you have to tease her like you're both in junior high.

"uh-oh"

what?

"I think he likes you-oooo."

We talk about the things women say versus what they mean, and this is like that for men. When I say it, I actually mean "he's only talking to you because he wants to fvck you." It's funny, because it's true

 

[origin138]

You missed your chance, but the next time you hear something like that, you have to tease her like you're both in junior high.

"uh-oh"

what?

"I think he likes you-oooo."

We talk about the things women say versus what they mean, and this is like that for men. When I say it, I actually mean "he's only talking to you because he wants to fvck you." It's funny, because it's true

Missed my chance with what, exactly? The reason I ask this is because we've already slept together a bunch of times and there is mutual interest.

 

[SXS]

Missed my chance with what, exactly? The reason I ask this is because we've already slept together a bunch of times and there is mutual interest.

Well, you didn't said what is the goal with this woman. You call her plate, are you seeing other women ? Do you like her enough to start a relationship ? Or just want to keep sleeping with her ?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Origin,
you say shes a Plate....Seems a case of what's sauce for Goose is sauce for Gander...Why worry,just press on finding new opportunities and make the most of this one....This Co-Worker business could even be a subtle ruse on her part,as she tries to transit from Plate to LTR.....As an aside,must say if you start having feelings like these about a Plate,she is no longer a Plate,Take care!

 

[origin138]

SXS& Scara,

You both make good points. True, I guess the title is a bit misleading. I was looking at this are more of an LTR possibility until she started talking about this dude. Now I'm having second thoughts, and am starting to just withdraw altogether.

I think I'm just going to disappear on this one.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I think I'm just going to disappear on this one.

That's ridiculous. You and her are fine. I mean that you missed your chance to tease her about the other guy. Just be ready if she brings him up again. And don't make such a big deal out of such a small thing.

 

[donking]

u just need a female friend to throw back at her. u don't have any female leverage

 

[Boilermaker]

you just need to relax.

People mention other people you know? You are fvcking her, and you are worrying about an uplifting beta?

Is he fvcking her? Why not ask her? Tease her like BibleBelt told you.

 

[DJDamage]

you just need to relax.

People mention other people you know? You are fvcking her, and you are worrying about an uplifting beta?

Is he fvcking her? Why not ask her? Tease her like BibleBelt told you.

Bingo.

No need to sweat it out if she is mentioning some dude. Just play it off by being as cool as a cucumber & you can tease her about it as long as you show her that you don't give a fvck. Its only when a woman changes her behaviour towards you (i.e becomes less available, less affectionate) that's when you wil know something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

In the meantime she is a plate right?! so get cracking on the other plates.

 

[SXS]

I think that if she is thinking about fking this or any other guy or is actually fking this or any other guy, you most likely wouldn't even know about his existence.
Just don't worry about it.

 

[Greasy Pig]

I found the silent treatment can be effective.
Whenever this chick I'm seeing mentions other dudes she interacts with or who ask her out, I just go quiet and stare into the distance.
She's getting the message.

 

[zekko]

I think I'm just going to disappear on this one.

That's ridiculous. You and her are fine. I mean that you missed your chance to tease her about the other guy. Just be ready if she brings him up again. And don't make such a big deal out of such a small thing.

I agree with this. Except you must not like this girl very much if you're willing to dump her over something so small.

This guy she keeps mentioning might be a problem, and might not be. People are going to talk about the people they work with. Maybe she doesn't work with very many people? Regardless, I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt until you have something more to go on than this. Just keep your eyes open. If it turns out she is a slvt or is looking to cheat with this guy, she'll give herself away eventually.

 

[backbreaker]

if you care this much about a plate, then by definition she isn't a plate.

 

[betheman]

I've been seeing this HB7 for the past month, and things are progressing well. Good chemistry, no AFC behavior on my part, and she seems to have some good longer term potential.

Recently, she has been mentioning a male co-worker quite often. She usually mentions him when talking about her work day, and it's always in very neutral terms. The only remark she made that caught my attention and clued me in that there might be something more was "he is uplifting", meaning that he's positive and encouraging when she's frustrated.


Thanks.

Need a little more context about this, is he the only guy at work, how often does she mention him? does she go on about him? also what about her past? relationships? history of cheating?
obviously, he is a guy and as such will be willing to poke your GF given the chance. question is, how likely is she to respond?

Im a great believer in 'the gut' but at this point, there is no need to react. just observe, also note youre response! getting a bit insecure..maybe you need to mention one of your other plates, a colleague, go for a drink after work....?

 

[Colossus]

I don't think you have enough evidence to disappear preemptively. Gut feelings are usually correct, but be careful you aren't just projecting your own insecurity on the situation. If you weren't banging her I don't think you'd care as much....which in turn would give you better starting frame.


This is one of the reasons I no longer advocate having sex early in a relationship. It impairs decision-making and character assessment. I know it's counter to everything preached here, but not everything that gets repeated on these boards is healthy. I was that guy who slept with almost every female I dated within a week, for years. And I saw nothing wrong with it at the time, although on a gut level I felt uncomfortable.

I'm not saying you should wait X number of days or dates...that's up to you, but I've just learned that if you are interested in an LTR, generally the longer you wait the better. There are caveats here too---it's a totally different game when you are playing into HER frame by letting her "make you wait", and when you are holding out for your own benefit to assess her interest and character before you start laying wood. Kind of like the allegory of not tossing seed into the wind. I've been on both sides and I truly believe this is a better way to live, but hey that's just my view.

 

[5string]

Keep your radar on and listen to the little fvcker who sit's on your shoulder.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Do you think a girl dealing with a guy she really wants would risk to piss him off or push him away by mentioning an other guy?

I know its sad and frustrating to hear but a girl which is insterested in you will make it cristal clear, wont play games nor confuse you, she will in fact do anything possible to her for the two of you to get togheter.

I understand how you may feel but truth aint gonna change cause of that, I have like 5 or 6 girls in my list who made it clear "trough similar sh1" that they are no interested.

The only thing we can do is move on and dont give me any further satisfaction.

 

[speed dawg]

She's testing you, obviously. You may be showing some AFC tendencies and she's a little worried, maybe it's a routine test. But it seems like you're passing it, at least with a base hit. You could have hit a home run had you taken Bible Belt's advice, but I'm thinking you'll get another chance, you haven't heard the last of this guy. She'll continue to bring him up until you completely pass the test, or you fail it, in which case she'll be riding his c0ck in short order. I think you need to back up and quit looking at this like a LTR, it's the kiss of death.

Next time she brings him up: "Jimbo said I was so pretty today" You, "Great, I found a quarter"...then continue to game her.