"Picky"/Standards

[AverageFC]

You know what really pisses me off, is when you talk about the opposite sex with someone(male or female),and the ignorant bastid tells you "maybe you should lower your standards". What kind of idiotic advice is this? I mean I've turned that around and said you're telling me you would date the fat person who plays dungeons and dragons all day if you couldnt get a date? And they're like "no!!!".

This kind of ignorance bugs me.

 

[RogueWarrior]

I feel ya, amigo. I can't tell you how many times my friends have tried to set me up with someone they knew and when I met them I felt like saying "What in hell were you thinking?!" And they would give me sh*t about it later saying things like "You barely know her" or "You're judging a book by its cover" or "You didn't give her a chance" or some touchy-feely crap like that. Well, IMHO if I don't get a good vibe from someone in a few hours, it's not going to get much better. Mind you, this has nothing to do with shyness. Even a shy girl exhibits her qualities, good or bad.

Now here's a funny yet pathetic story. A while ago, I tried eHarmony.com (or rather eDischord.com). After spending a ton of time going through their personality profile, it basically told me that there wasn't anyone in my area that I was compatible with. Doh! I expanded my search radius. Still nothing. I expanded it to the entire U.S. Nada. Ultimately, I shelved the idea for a few weeks (a good policy to live by when it comes to relationships). Then I got an e-mail "You've got new matches!" When I read about them, I once again felt like saying "What in hell are you people thinking?!"

Bottom line: YOU are the only one who knows who's right for you. Don't lower your standards. If you do so, you'll only end up resenting that person's incompatibilities. Of course if you have "Must be a Vicki's Secret catalog model" on your list, you might want to check your reality dipstick.

Still, there are things that should be standards and things that should be taken with a grain of salt. Compatiblities is a better term. If she's a very religious person and you're not or you're of a very different faith, that can be a big problem. If you're a home-body and she's a party-animal, that can be a problem. If she smokes and you don't, that's something that can be worked out. If there are activities that she likes that you aren't into, that's not necessarily an incompatibility. Being able to spend some time apart to do different things is healthy.

 

[AverageFC]

yeah but i can't figure out what kind of fukking mindwarp people who say "lower your standards" are in. that is the most fukked up ****.

 

[Donald Kaufman]

Lower your standards can come from the same people that say JBY. They just want to see you happy. Everyone knows everyone in a relationship is happy. Grab whatever you can manage without effort and they don't have to feel bad about never trying.

It can also come from people who see you sabotaging yourself by creating unrealistic standards that no one can meet and leave you free not to put much effort in.

Some people say anything to hear themselves type ... er, talk.

 

[sfalexi]

Then again, you may be passing up someone who connects with you very well on a mental level because she's not a "10". Maybe you're passing up a chick that is "allright" just because shes "allright" and not hot as balls, never knowing that this chick could show you an awesome time in life and gets you very well or, really DOES (as cliche as it sounds), have a great personality.

Then again, if you couldn't see yourself being happy with their looks DESPITE their personality, then why bother?

My friends tell me this stuff all the time. But, when you talk to them, they'll easily say that although they've had more women, and more relationships, lookswise I've had the best looking. But my girls are few and far between (which I need to change).

It's six of one, half a dozen of the other.

Alexi

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

I see another problem here. Am I the only one that thinks your friends have no business getting involved in your love life?

If friends or mine, my parents or anybody came up to me and introduced me to a girl who they wanted me to date, I WOULD BE PISSED!

Not only is it embarrasing because they probably talked to the girl and told her all kinds of things about me, and then I would have to proceed to making her feel bad by rejecting the idea of getting together. When it comes to women only I call the shots, it is nobody elses business.

 

[ScrewIt]

you are probably complaining to them about the opposite sex. and when that happens they give u their opinion.

of course if u dont expect an opinion like that, you shouldnt be complaining at all.

 

[AverageFC]

Then again, if you couldn't see yourself being happy with their looks DESPITE their personality, then why bother?

Looks are important to everybody. Why satisfy for mediocre?

 

[christz]

Originally posted by sfalexi
Then again, you may be passing up someone who connects with you very well on a mental level because she's not a "10". Maybe you're passing up a chick that is "allright" just because shes "allright" and not hot as balls, never knowing that this chick could show you an awesome time in life and gets you very well or, really DOES (as cliche as it sounds), have a great personality.

Then again, if you couldn't see yourself being happy with their looks DESPITE their personality, then why bother?

My friends tell me this stuff all the time. But, when you talk to them, they'll easily say that although they've had more women, and more relationships, lookswise I've had the best looking. But my girls are few and far between (which I need to change).

It's six of one, half a dozen of the other.

Alexi

i'd rather land "hot as balls" and click with them on the rare chance, than accepting the many "allright" looking girls that come my way.

which is probably why i'm single for long periods of time

of course i've always said if i REALLY click with at least a chick that is at least a 6.5 then i could probably have a relationship but anything lower than that.. NOPE

 

[sfalexi]

Originally posted by christz
i'd rather land "hot as balls" and click with them on the rare chance, than accepting the many "allright" looking girls that come my way.

which is probably why i'm single for long periods of time

of course i've always said if i REALLY click with at least a chick that is at least a 6.5 then i could probably have a relationship but anything lower than that.. NOPE

Sure. The problem comes in that you might not even talk to 6.5s or go up and approach them. So you never even really give them a chance. I'm not saying anything against you, but just point out that it's a hypothetical situation that you've layed out for yourself. An "if/then" (literally) in which you don't allow the "if" part to be true. So the "then" part will never happen either.

I'm not saying anything. Hell, I do this too. The only time I really approach or talk to girls I just think are "allright" is when I'm forced to for some reason (being the 'wingman' as my buddy wants to talk to some girl so I have to occupy the attention of her friend, etc. etc.)

Alexi

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Why would you look for sympathy or advice from another AFC? What would expect them to say? They're AFCs, how could they understand? And then you get pissed off, I don't know which of you are worse.

 

[Luveno]

If you lower your standards, you can't improve. You stagnate.

That is the complete OPPOSITE of the DJ credo.

Lowering your standards is suicide of integrity. It's giving up.

 

[MrCode]

Originally posted by Luveno
If you lower your standards, you can't improve. You stagnate.

That is the complete OPPOSITE of the DJ credo.

Lowering your standards is suicide of integrity. It's giving up.

Damn that is a good post. I totally agree.

It is like my roommate who is banging a 6, so thinks he is king of the world (because he has p*ssy for once) and actually looks down on me because I'm single right now. I'm tempted to tell him: "sorry buddy, I'm just not willing to settle for chics like yours." If I did I'd have banged a lot more chics by now (and probably gotten some ugly ho pregnant.) The funny thing about this guy is this is the best chic he has been with, and I know he'll be bitterly jealous when he sees the chics I'm pulling.

 

[DjDreamer]

Originally posted by Luveno
If you lower your standards, you can't improve. You stagnate.

That is the complete OPPOSITE of the DJ credo.

Lowering your standards is suicide of integrity. It's giving up.

Well put!

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by AverageFC
You know what really pisses me off, is when you talk about the opposite sex with someone(male or female),and the ignorant bastid tells you "maybe you should lower your standards". What kind of idiotic advice is this? I mean I've turned that around and said you're telling me you would date the fat person who plays dungeons and dragons all day if you couldnt get a date? And they're like "no!!!".

This kind of ignorance bugs me.

If you think your standards are appropriate, then it doesn't matter how high they are.

If no one ever meets them, then you go on alone and proud of it.

If you're gonna be with someone long-term, you'd better be into them. A real man doesn't need to compromise just so he can have a girlfriend.

 

[R3N3G4D3]

Originally posted by Luveno
If you lower your standards, you can't improve. You stagnate.

That is the complete OPPOSITE of the DJ credo.

Lowering your standards is suicide of integrity. It's giving up.

Not necessarily. You don't have to stay with those low standards, it could be a temporary thing to gain more confidence. I'm not saying start screwing ugly chicks (hell, I would never let anything below a 7 even see my ****), but average chicks are great to practice your conversational skills on. You don't have to hook up with them, but if you never even talk to average girls thinking they are below you, you won't have enough communicational skills to talk to a hot babe either.

 

[BLUEox117]

Re: Re: "Picky"/Standards

Originally posted by squirrels
If you think your standards are appropriate, then it doesn't matter how high they are.

If no one ever meets them, then you go on alone and proud of it.

If you're gonna be with someone long-term, you'd better be into them. A real man doesn't need to compromise just so he can have a girlfriend.

is that why u still a virgin

 

[Craig Reeves]

Lower your standards can come from the same people that say JBY. They just want to see you happy. Everyone knows everyone in a relationship is happy.

LOL! Yeah right!