jcarlos_h said:
hey people... i have a problem that really bugs me.. everytime i DON'T care much about a girl; im elloquent, smart, funny and i have perfect conversations with her and always end up with her at least for a while...... but when i REALLY REALLY like a girl; i'm not smart or funny or elloquent, i become boring and stupid... hate it when this happens.
And what sometimes happens is that at first i don't care much about her so i'm the good version of myself but when i start liking her I shift to the bad ME. Also sometimes the other way around.
This sucks!
What can i do!?!
My guess is that with the unattractive woman, you are in a better head space to impress her. It may feel easier to QUALIFY
('the dancing monkey" Syndrome, or the 'entertainer" persona) for her.
But with the more attractive women, you find it much more difficult since you may feel they are "out of your league".
If you
aren't actually trying to impress and qualify , then there just seems to be an issue of not being in alignment with your desires.
Perhaps you have been shamed for being attracted to women?
Or perhaps the difficulty you feel is because you feel uin worthy of an attractive woman?
Perhaps , you may have low Self Esteem, and simply do not feel you are as worhty and as 'good" as the attractive woman?
There are deep underlying issues at work here.
You feel no pressure when you are with an
unattractive woman, but you do feel pressure and 'stunted' when you are
with an
attractive woman.
Or at least, a woman whom YOU find attractive.
You also might be looking at women
Idealistically.
Perhaps you are expereincing the "Halo Effect"?
Do you feel they are Superior to you?
Do you feel ashamed for being attracted and feeling Sexual Desire for them?
Believe it or not, these are very common issues.
Since there isn't much background info I can't pinpoint the problem.
I do feel that here is a
low Self Esteem issue at any rate.
This is perhaps the easiest to deal with , believe it or not.
But you
will need to sit down and
figure out what is going on in your subconscious and these issues.
Ask yourself those questions, and
try to pinpoint where these feelings started.
Once you have a better grasp on this, then maybe we can help you to better deal with it, and hopefully eliminate it.
