Personality over looks? Which one really triumphs - Current situation

[ColdNight]

To me, there are two types of girls - those that are attracted to me from their initial impression of me just being me (****y, funny, confident etc). This is after a small amount of one on one social interaction.

The other group, mainly the HBs that have blokes falling all over them and aren't as easily impressed obviously don't show this.

I've found that the ones that initially attracted to me and show it from the get go, are usually 5/6/7s. The other group are usually the 7/8/9s. There is some overlap, but not much.

If a girl is attracted to you, half the game is over. It's easy from there on out. I've seen girls that laugh at my jokes and show affection even when I'm not even trying, or generally not being ****y or funny.

Anyway, there's a girl I know, who showed interest in me a while back - just out of the blue. For once, I actually noticed it (you'd be surprised how many times in my life this has happened and I've just not noticed). Now, she is smart, funny, has a great personality, is fun to be with and we have alot in common.

But I'm just not physically attracted to her. Correction: I am physically attracted to her, but not to the level I am to some HBs. She would be a good match, I think - and it's one of those rare cases where a girl you could see as girlfriend material actually likes you back without you even beginning to try.

I decided to test her this week, to see if she really did like me with some depth (physically and emotionally). The best test I've found is kino. If she responds very well, blushes, reciprocates - they're all good signs. I tested, she did all of that - I'm certain she's attracted to me.

But am I to her? She has personality over looks, and today, when she found out from her friends that I'd been looking for her, her face lit up.

I'm in mixed minds of what to do. If I get to know her better, I can foresee my feelings grow for her and we could have a meaningful, enjoyable relationship. But since I don't have that sky rocketing inital physical attraction parts of me are conflicting.

Your thoughts?

 

[stallion]

Man, I have a similar situation like yours except my range is a lot lower.

I have no problems getting 3,4,5s like me initially and I struggle with 6,7's.

I'm not sure if this is purely based on looks and whether I should settle down with one of the 4's because I'm not jolted by her looks either.

I think you should go for it if you think you'll enjoy her relationship as long as she's not butt ugly and somebody you'd be reluctant to introduce to people as your gf.

 

[stallion]

i forgot to add that the reason why I'm voting for personality is because a HB 8,9's tend to be high maintanence. You'll have to always keep her on her toes, etc.

It'll be more work.

 

[Good_ol_boy]

IF you are looking for a *real* LTR remember:
Over time Boobs sag and butts sink. A good personality is for ever. (good looks are gravy)

 

[Slashco]

If we're talking relationship, I'd pick a 6 or 7 who's smart and fun over an airheaded 9 any day, and I think most people would agree with me.

 

[Ramin]

HBs and almost HBs...

Coldnight: Obviously you're a human and looks matter to you. As you know, that's totally normal.

My suggestion is this. 1st figure out why she isn't making your stomach fill up with butterflies. Is it only because she's a 6/7 and not an 8?

Now ask yourself the following. Are there any 6/7s you have known in your life that can drive you wild? Do you like the smell of this girls body? Do you like the way her skin feels? Is she adorable in her own way? If she playfully seduced you would it turn you on? Forget about ratings and what other people think of her. Just ask these questions of yourself and imagine that you and her are the only two people that matter for a second. If the answer to most of these is YES then there is definite potential here. Not only is she a sweetheart but she could possibly be PERFECT for you.

She sounds like a great woman which means that in a long term relationship she will probably be sexually unselfish and giving. You can have a lot of playful fantasy with her and request that she try different things for you once she trusts you enough to do that for you. That can be great fun! A hotter girl might not do any of that as willingly and so sex is only very fun at first until you get used to her. What's my point? Not only is she a nicer person than them and more fun to be around but the sex will be better in the long run!! We get used to anyones looks over time, including extreme HBs.

Remember, if you are somewhat attracted to her now and she is unselfish, creative and giving during lovemaking then these behaviors will compensate for a lot. Moreover, you will have someone you respect and truly love and can have fun and laugh with. Don't UNDERVALUE this stuff bro. It's extremely important and great to have. No offense, but if you undervalue these things you're being kind of a dumb as$. Find out if she is comfortable in her own skin and answer the questions above. If there is no way she could ever turn you on sufficiently then you need to back off. She sounds too sweet to mislead.

Ramin

 

[ColdNight]

Alright lads. Some great advice. I'm going to go for it (continue the flirting) and see what happens.

I'll see how things progress, while keeping other options open.

I'll keep you posted.

 

[stevey_2000]

who gives a f*** whether you are ugly or not, just dress yourself as best as you can and think your the best and believe me my friend, it will show!

 

[ColdNight]

This was about a girl, but hey, great general advice anyway Stevie!

 

[stevey_2000]

just see it as a tip then mate,

good luck anyway!

 

[The Edge]

What a fuukyn cop-out!!!

Originally posted by Good_ol_boy
IF you are looking for a *real* LTR remember:
Over time Boobs sag and butts sink. A good personality is for ever. (good looks are gravy)

Of all the fukkyn cop-out statements to make this has to be at the top. Its an old adage that has been recycled by 'guttless sheep' from time in memorial.

Fukk dating a phat-ugly-cellulite-fatfaced-bloomerwearing-doublechinned-t-shirtbuttonbusting-creampieeating-chykk with a good personality. When you have a longterm relationship with homely-looking chykks, they stay fat and ugly and don't bother trying to do any better for themselves ... I still say you go for chykks that look good, and command attention. Why not!! Have a longterm relationship with them. They are no different from anyother type of women. Just know not to take any shytt and you will be fine.

Its a fukkyn pity you feel this way Good_ol_boy. Your statement was actually created by underachieveing numnutts who refused to throw themselves into the line of fire. Rather they sat in the corner, wishing by the sidelines, accepting whatever cards they were dealt.

And in case you are wondering,... it does stryke a nerve. I will never allow myself to behave or think that way again. NEVER!!

And anyway if boobs sag and butts sink for pretty girls, what do you think happens to the same parts for the ugly chykks over the same period of time.

'Oh yeah honey,.... I love the way you write my name on the floor with your sagging ass???'

The Edge ' Some have it, and some don't '

 

[Slashco]

What I personally find more offensive is bald, fat slobs who think they deserve 8s and 9s and won't take anything else.

Anyway, The Edge, I think you're falling too far in the other extreme. Nobody said you should date a gargoyle because she has a good personality. Just that most people prefer someone with average looks who's fun to be with, rather than a supermodel whose brain cells are dying of loneliness (for relationships at least).

The reason is simple: No matter how good-looking someone is, you will get tired of them eventually if they have no personality and a room-temperature IQ. Also, physical attraction has to do with intellectual stimulation, so an average woman who's smart and fun will start to look more attractive.

Of course, if you can find someone who's got both looks and personality, you've struck gold, but don't expect it will be easy

 

[The Edge]

Speechless!!

Originally posted by Slashco
I.....date a gargoyle

Excuse the paraphrase!!

But, that's all I read from your response playboy!!??!! ....... Then I puked...!!

The Edge "Some have it, and some don't'

 

[Von Baken Dude]

Re: What a fuukyn cop-out!!!

Originally posted by The Edge

And anyway if boobs sag and butts sink for pretty girls, what do you think happens to the same parts for the ugly chykks over the same period of time.

They sink... but you didn't get with them for the looks so that's a secondary aspect. If you get with a girl just for the looks...

 

[The Edge]

Re: Re: What a fuukyn cop-out!!!

Originally posted by Von Baken Dude
They sink... but you didn't get with them for the looks so that's a secondary aspect. If you get with a girl just for the looks...

I only have a problem with this fallacy:

' Extremely beautiful women are dumb....'

The Edge ' Some have it, and some don't '

 

[Slashco]

Re: Speechless!!

Originally posted by The Edge
Excuse the paraphrase!!

But, that's all I read from your response playboy!!??!! ....... Then I puked...!!

The Edge "Some have it, and some don't'

That made no sense whatsoever. Were you trying to insult me, or are you mentally challenged?

 

[The Edge]

Re: Re: Speechless!!

Originally posted by Slashco
That made no sense whatsoever. Were you trying to insult me, or are you mentally challenged?

Okay... let cool heads prevail.....

In the positive motion of agreeing to disagree, (just so we don't start a pointless flame war...)

I say; the fact that a woman is extemely beautiful, has no bearing on her personality, speech pattern, or thought process.

Thats it!!!

The Edge ' Some have it, and some don't '

 

[Slashco]

Re: Re: Re: Speechless!!

Originally posted by The Edge
Okay... let cool heads prevail.....

In the positive motion of agreeing to disagree, (just so we don't start a pointless flame war...)

I say; the fact that a woman is extemely beautiful, has no bearing on her personality, speech pattern, or thought process.

Thats it!!!

The Edge ' Some have it, and some don't '

Agreed. Nobody here said differently.

From what you wrote in your original post however, you seemed to think that a lot of people justify their cowardice and being with ugly women, by saying they have good personalities. What they actually claimed was that if you're with someone solely based on their looks, you shouldn't expect it to last long if your personalities are incompatible. I hope it's a bit more clear now.

 

[The Edge]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Speechless!!

Originally posted by Slashco
Agreed. Nobody here said differently.

From what you wrote in your original post however, you seemed to think that a lot of people justify their cowardice and being with ugly women, by saying they have good personalities. What they actually claimed was that if you're with someone solely based on their looks, you shouldn't expect it to last long if your personalities are incompatible. I hope it's a bit more clear now.

Phew!!!.... I'm glad we've got that cleared....Now lets all go out and get us some phat chykks!!!

The Edge ' Some have it, and some don't '

 

[Good_ol_boy]

"Its a fukkyn pity you feel this way Good_ol_boy. Your statement was actually created by underachieveing numnutts who refused to throw themselves into the line of fire. Rather they sat in the corner, wishing by the sidelines, accepting whatever cards they were dealt."

When I was your age, I was dating a "Miss Major City" AND the "first runner up" for a more major city at the same time. Nah, I don't sit on the side lines, but with age I have learned. The woman I'm with RIGHT NOW could be your grand ma, but is hit on constantly by 30 year olds. I'm not with her because she's a hot babe (yes, I know, to you she's an old bag, but to some 30 year olds....) but because of WHO SHE IS!! Maybe not appropreate for 20 somethings, but right for an old geezer like me.

By the way, I still get hit on by 20 something chicks (they mistake me for mid to late 30's--I'm well over 50); just gotta tell them "sorry babe, I don't think you want to "do" your daddy".