dollashort
Don Juan
ok guys this is the next essay. i will be posting of them over the coming weeks. if you are really serious about changing and becoming unstoppable in what it is that you want, then go over them on a regular basis.
“if you paint in your mind a picture of bright and happy expectations, you put yourself into a condition conducive to your goals.”
-Norman Vincent Peale
The way you think and feel about yourself, including your beliefs and expectations about what is possible for you, determines everything you do and everything that happens to you. You have complete control over one thing in the universe, your thinking!
Positive thinking leads to mental health and peak performance. Negative thinking leads to mental illness and decreased effectiveness. Your goal is to cultivate positive emotions and get rid of negative emotions.
The elimination of negative emotions is the single most important step you can take toward happiness, health and personal well-being. Each time you take complete control over you thoughts and feelings, and discipline them to keep them positive, the quality of both your inner and outer lives improves. In the absence of negative emotions your mind automatically fills with positive emotions.
Law of Substitution says,
Your mind can hold only one thought at a time, positive or negative. You can substitute a positive thought for a negative thought whenever you choose.
Law of Habit says,
Any thought or action that you repeat over and over will eventually become a new habit.
Starve your negative emotions. Your negative emotions have all been learned from childhood, and what has been learned can be unlearned, sometimes quite quickly.
Many negative ideas or attitudes are based on false premises. Sometimes a negative idea about a subject, negative attitude toward a person, can be completely reversed with a single piece of information. You could suddenly learn that an idea you had about yourself or another person was not true, and as a result you can change your thinking in an instant. Be open to this possibility.
Negative emotions exist because we feed them continuously, thinking and talking about things that make us angry or unhappy.
Law of Emotion says,
A stronger emotion will dominate and override a weaker emotion, and which ever emotion you concentrate on grows and becomes stronger.”
If you withdraw your mental energy from a person or situation that makes you angry or sad by refusing to think about it, the emotion connected with the situation slowly dies away. Like a fire with no fuel, it dies out.
You have experienced this before. You enter relationships that don’t workout. When they end we may be emotionally hurt, sad or depressed. These feelings last for a certain period then they go away. Later we meet someone else and gradually forget about the unhappy ending. Months or years later we look back or even meet the person, and we cannot imagine how emotionally involved we were with him or her. Because we did not feed them, these feelings died completely.
There are four basic causes of negative emotions,
(1) Justification
(2) Identification
(3) Inward Considering
(4) Blame
The greatest leap forward in changing will be when you eliminate these causes of negative emotions from your life.
(1) Justification
Justification is when you rationalize or create a reason for your anger. You keep going over it telling yourself and whoever will listen how badly you were done by. Keep giving yourself reason to be angry, feeling entitled to your anger.
The way you short circuit the natural tendency to word justification and rationalization is by refusing to engage in it. You negative emotions do you no good. They do not affect the other person or change the situation. Instead stop justifying. Instead of justifying your anger, use your marvelous mind to think of ways to excuse the person, or let go of the unhappy situation.
e.g if someone cuts you off in traffic instead of becoming angry say “I guess he’s having a bad day” or “he must be late for an appointment.”
Since your mind can only hold one thought at a time, the instant you start excusing the other person you withdraw the energy or fuel that keeps anger going.
One of the most important rules for success and happiness is, don’t be upset or worry about something that you cant do anything about.” Don’t criticize anyone for something they cannot change. A famous law says, “If there is no solution, there is no problem.”
There are 2 time periods in life, the past and the future. The present is only a brief floating moment. You can choose to focus your attention on what has happened, which cant be changed, or the future, which you have some control over.
The fact is, life is going to be a continuous series of problems, difficulties, setbacks and temporary failures. These are natural and unavoidable facts of growing up.
Until you decide to get over them and get on with your life, you remain a slave to the past, which cannot be changed in any case.
Make a decision that from now on you are going to eliminate all the “if only’s” from your life. It is never too late to have a happy childhood. You can always look back at what happened and reinterpret the events in the past. The people that hurt you made you stronger. Your parents bought their own worries and problems to parenting. It was a blessing in disguise.
(2) Identification (attachment)
This happens when you take something personally or become attached to a person or thing. You become emotionally involved in a situation and identify so strongly with it that it affects your emotions and your reason in a negative way.
The great spiritual leaders such as Buddha and Jesus have emphasized the importance of separating yourself emotionally from the situation, di-sidentification, in order to regain your calmness and composure.
Psychologist William James of Harvard wrote, the first step in dealing with any difficulty is to be willing to have it so.” He encouraged people to say what cannot be cured must be endured.
Practice detachment from any person or situation that makes you feel angry or upset. Withdraw the emotional energy from it so that you can regain your calmness and composure. Discipline yourself to stand back mentally and deal with the problem intelligently. You use your mind to see the situation objectively and make better decisions to resolve it.
Nothing and no-one can have any control over you unless there is something you still want from them. They must have something that they can still give you or withhold from you. As soona s you detach from a person or object and no longer want anyting from them, you are free.
View the difficulty as if it was happening to someone else. What advice would you give them? Become emotionally unnatached and you will become much more capable of dealing with it effectively.
(3) Inward Considering (opinions of others)
This occurs when you become overly concerned with the way people are treating you. Your own interpretation of peoples behaviour makes you feel angry or depressed.
Psychologists say that everything we do is to increase our self-esteem and sense of personal value, or protect it from being diminished from other people or circumstances.
Most people are pre-occupied with themselves and their own problems. 99% of the time people are wrapped up in thoughts about themselves. They devote the other 1% of emotional energy to everybody else in the world including you. When your self-esteem isn’t as high as you’d like it to be, you become sensitive to the actions and reactions of other people toward you. You will take everything personally exactly as if what theu said or did was directed at you. However this would seldom be the case. It would be silly to become angry or upset about others’ thoughtless actions.
Set you own sails! There is a rule that says, Never do or refrain from something because you are concerned about what people might think about you. The fact is that nobody is even thinking about you at all.
It is amazing how many people make decisions not to get into relationships, businesses, new endeavors, adventures and other things for fear that someone else may not approve.
They stay in marriages they hate, they work at jobs they dislike for fear that someone, anyone, might criticize them. The truth is no one cares more about your key life decisions than you do. Plan accordingly
“if you paint in your mind a picture of bright and happy expectations, you put yourself into a condition conducive to your goals.”
-Norman Vincent Peale
The way you think and feel about yourself, including your beliefs and expectations about what is possible for you, determines everything you do and everything that happens to you. You have complete control over one thing in the universe, your thinking!
Positive thinking leads to mental health and peak performance. Negative thinking leads to mental illness and decreased effectiveness. Your goal is to cultivate positive emotions and get rid of negative emotions.
The elimination of negative emotions is the single most important step you can take toward happiness, health and personal well-being. Each time you take complete control over you thoughts and feelings, and discipline them to keep them positive, the quality of both your inner and outer lives improves. In the absence of negative emotions your mind automatically fills with positive emotions.
Law of Substitution says,
Your mind can hold only one thought at a time, positive or negative. You can substitute a positive thought for a negative thought whenever you choose.
Law of Habit says,
Any thought or action that you repeat over and over will eventually become a new habit.
Starve your negative emotions. Your negative emotions have all been learned from childhood, and what has been learned can be unlearned, sometimes quite quickly.
Many negative ideas or attitudes are based on false premises. Sometimes a negative idea about a subject, negative attitude toward a person, can be completely reversed with a single piece of information. You could suddenly learn that an idea you had about yourself or another person was not true, and as a result you can change your thinking in an instant. Be open to this possibility.
Negative emotions exist because we feed them continuously, thinking and talking about things that make us angry or unhappy.
Law of Emotion says,
A stronger emotion will dominate and override a weaker emotion, and which ever emotion you concentrate on grows and becomes stronger.”
If you withdraw your mental energy from a person or situation that makes you angry or sad by refusing to think about it, the emotion connected with the situation slowly dies away. Like a fire with no fuel, it dies out.
You have experienced this before. You enter relationships that don’t workout. When they end we may be emotionally hurt, sad or depressed. These feelings last for a certain period then they go away. Later we meet someone else and gradually forget about the unhappy ending. Months or years later we look back or even meet the person, and we cannot imagine how emotionally involved we were with him or her. Because we did not feed them, these feelings died completely.
There are four basic causes of negative emotions,
(1) Justification
(2) Identification
(3) Inward Considering
(4) Blame
The greatest leap forward in changing will be when you eliminate these causes of negative emotions from your life.
(1) Justification
Justification is when you rationalize or create a reason for your anger. You keep going over it telling yourself and whoever will listen how badly you were done by. Keep giving yourself reason to be angry, feeling entitled to your anger.
The way you short circuit the natural tendency to word justification and rationalization is by refusing to engage in it. You negative emotions do you no good. They do not affect the other person or change the situation. Instead stop justifying. Instead of justifying your anger, use your marvelous mind to think of ways to excuse the person, or let go of the unhappy situation.
e.g if someone cuts you off in traffic instead of becoming angry say “I guess he’s having a bad day” or “he must be late for an appointment.”
Since your mind can only hold one thought at a time, the instant you start excusing the other person you withdraw the energy or fuel that keeps anger going.
One of the most important rules for success and happiness is, don’t be upset or worry about something that you cant do anything about.” Don’t criticize anyone for something they cannot change. A famous law says, “If there is no solution, there is no problem.”
There are 2 time periods in life, the past and the future. The present is only a brief floating moment. You can choose to focus your attention on what has happened, which cant be changed, or the future, which you have some control over.
The fact is, life is going to be a continuous series of problems, difficulties, setbacks and temporary failures. These are natural and unavoidable facts of growing up.
Until you decide to get over them and get on with your life, you remain a slave to the past, which cannot be changed in any case.
Make a decision that from now on you are going to eliminate all the “if only’s” from your life. It is never too late to have a happy childhood. You can always look back at what happened and reinterpret the events in the past. The people that hurt you made you stronger. Your parents bought their own worries and problems to parenting. It was a blessing in disguise.
(2) Identification (attachment)
This happens when you take something personally or become attached to a person or thing. You become emotionally involved in a situation and identify so strongly with it that it affects your emotions and your reason in a negative way.
The great spiritual leaders such as Buddha and Jesus have emphasized the importance of separating yourself emotionally from the situation, di-sidentification, in order to regain your calmness and composure.
Psychologist William James of Harvard wrote, the first step in dealing with any difficulty is to be willing to have it so.” He encouraged people to say what cannot be cured must be endured.
Practice detachment from any person or situation that makes you feel angry or upset. Withdraw the emotional energy from it so that you can regain your calmness and composure. Discipline yourself to stand back mentally and deal with the problem intelligently. You use your mind to see the situation objectively and make better decisions to resolve it.
Nothing and no-one can have any control over you unless there is something you still want from them. They must have something that they can still give you or withhold from you. As soona s you detach from a person or object and no longer want anyting from them, you are free.
View the difficulty as if it was happening to someone else. What advice would you give them? Become emotionally unnatached and you will become much more capable of dealing with it effectively.
(3) Inward Considering (opinions of others)
This occurs when you become overly concerned with the way people are treating you. Your own interpretation of peoples behaviour makes you feel angry or depressed.
Psychologists say that everything we do is to increase our self-esteem and sense of personal value, or protect it from being diminished from other people or circumstances.
Most people are pre-occupied with themselves and their own problems. 99% of the time people are wrapped up in thoughts about themselves. They devote the other 1% of emotional energy to everybody else in the world including you. When your self-esteem isn’t as high as you’d like it to be, you become sensitive to the actions and reactions of other people toward you. You will take everything personally exactly as if what theu said or did was directed at you. However this would seldom be the case. It would be silly to become angry or upset about others’ thoughtless actions.
Set you own sails! There is a rule that says, Never do or refrain from something because you are concerned about what people might think about you. The fact is that nobody is even thinking about you at all.
It is amazing how many people make decisions not to get into relationships, businesses, new endeavors, adventures and other things for fear that someone else may not approve.
They stay in marriages they hate, they work at jobs they dislike for fear that someone, anyone, might criticize them. The truth is no one cares more about your key life decisions than you do. Plan accordingly
