Overabundance

[skinnyguy]

Quick question for the experienced DJs out there. What do you do when you have TOO MANY women hitting you up and showing interest? How do you filter?

Let's say you have several HB 8 who's showing a lot of interest, but the HB 9 is your top prospect. Do you put more energy into the HB 9?

There's only 24 hours in a day....putting in this much work can be draining.

 

[bigneil]

You provide them value.

• Now that I'm a photographer with a portfolio, I have unlimited gorgeous 20 year old women who will pose for modeling photos (yes, I pay them a few hundred, which is close to what a fine dinner date costs). Because I provide them value (mostly for their ego, and giving them a night off work), and because I only choose women who are (at least not un-) attracted to me, they pursue me.
  
• Now, maybe if you have ripped abs you can provide value by walking around with no shirt on. I'm working on that also.
  
• Maybe you are really popular in school, her having a selfie of you both together impresses her friends, so you provide value that way.
  
• Maybe you have a penthouse apartment in New York City so you provide value by letting her see a great view.
  
• Maybe you take them to fine restaurants so you provide value that way.

Since you can always buy women, focus mainly on earning more money and the rest of your time on improving physically.

 

[Urbanyst]

I have recently learned that the more you start caring about these plates the less interested they become in you.

My advice would be to deal with them when you feel like it and tell them you're busy with work or travel when you don't have time for them. Don't exhaust yourself trying to keep any of them happy. Focus on MONEY.

Another thing I've learned about life recently is: In the end you only have YOURSELF and your money. People will come and go. So its stupid to compromise yourself too much to keep people in your life. Those who want to be there will find a way to stick around.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

They say abundance should be a state of mind. Now being a master of the inner game [and yet to work it out in practice], I find that this cuts both ways [the 'over' abundance bit]. I am in a frame of mind where I meet women easily. And yet sometimes I will be too cavalier, when I'm approached by a woman in a bar, and forget to get the number. To my chagrin later.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I've never been able to juggle more than 2 or 3 at once, while maintaining a social life and hobbies and demands of work etc. Anything more than four is borderline unmanageable and you're spending too much time on women.

Let's say you have three women in your life right now, you can not allow the rest of your life to slide as they could all be gone again this time next week, for whatever reason.

I'd say three is actually the magic number. You have two mains that you see once a week each, and maybe a third back up that you see once every two weeks or so. That way you might have up to three or four days in between dates to do with what you please; even explore other options. And until a time that you are seriously considering exclusivity, you shouldn't stop exploring other options, ever. Even if you see all three once a week, you can still have a day off in between each.

 

[bigneil]

I've never been able to juggle more than 2 or 3 at once, while maintaining a social life and hobbies and demands of work etc. Anything more than four is borderline unmanageable and you're spending too much time on women.

Women are the same way. That's why if she is initiating 3-4 times per week, you know you are at least one of her top 3.

With women, it's pretty rare that you are #1 on her list, but you know it when you are. Then when she doesn't respond you have to accept that you are no longer in her top 3.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Women are the same way. That's why if she is initiating 3-4 times per week, you know you are at least one of her top 3.

With women, it's pretty rare that you are #1 on her list, but you know it when you are. Then when she doesn't respond you have to accept that you are no longer in her top 3.

I rarely initiate anything with any women anymore; maybe only on first few dates after meeting. What I have been doing is slowly building a circle where I could simply send one message, saying where and when and they would drop everything, if not at least counter offer. Though they don't (all) blow my phone up every week, I make it clear that I am a busy many from the outset and my time is precious. Those who acknowledge that and act accordingly can stay in the circle.

For me, that's what abundance is; letting go of people who do not respect your terms of engagement, and embracing those who do. That goes for all people in general.

 

[zekko]

Quick question for the experienced DJs out there. What do you do when you have TOO MANY women hitting you up and showing interest?

Maybe we need a new subforum for this, or a new website: SoCreepy.com.

 

[wifehunter]

Not looking to get laid, I keep my distance...so, the main problem is remembering their names.

 

[Glassguy]

Quick question for the experienced DJs out there. What do you do when you have TOO MANY women hitting you up and showing interest? How do you filter?

Let's say you have several HB 8 who's showing a lot of interest, but the HB 9 is your top prospect. Do you put more energy into the HB 9?

There's only 24 hours in a day....putting in this much work can be draining.

Supply and demand. When you have more options than time, you simply raise the bar and give more attention to the ones that have more to offer.

If one starts acting a little b1tchy, give her less attention.

You wouldn't walk past a $5 bill just because there is a $20 ten more feet ahead. You would simply take the little extra time to pick both up. Obviously the $20 is worth more and has higher value. You still keep them both around, but you'll use the $20 more as it has higher value and will more than likely last longer.

I don't think there is ever "over" abundance. You just have more options and they should be treated as such.

You get the point.

 

[EyeBRollin]

My strategy.

I always keep 3 plates in active rotation. This means I'm actively pursing them and "courting" them, evaluating their place in my world and taking them through "the run" (listed below).

I keep 1-2 prospects in the rotation as well. These are women that are being phased into the rotation that I may have just met and have taken on 2 or fewer dates. I'm always evaluating them to replace one of the plates in active rotation.

Finally, my third category I have former plates I have in passive rotation. I make no effort whatsoever with these chicks, and allow them to come over for sex (disguised as dinner & a drink at my place) if I have a free evening. These are former plates that were either replaced by the active plates and prospects, or demoted after finishing "the run." I spend no money at all on these chicks.

"The run" is my gameplan of dates. I take every chick down a schedule of 5 "dates." The only thing that could change is the location and frequency between dates.

It's something like:
Drinks / Coffee
Dinner
Activity Near My Place + My Place
Dinner + Activity
My Place

If she's not LTR material by then, she falls into passive rotation as a permanent booty call.

As I type this, I have 4 plates in active rotation, 2 prospects, and 7 in passive rotation that are trying to tie me down for 3 weeks out. In the last 2 days, I've smashed 2 from the passive rotation.

The side benefit of phasing plates in and out is that only the highest quality plates get your time and money. You'll notice through phasing women in that the quality increases over time.

 

[bigneil]

I just flaked on my date for tonight.

Why? Because since I provide value, it's always a question whether they are even worth it. I don't feel like driving in rush hour to be honest.

This is how you actually have them chasing you - provide value, cancel plans and try to avoid them. They generally won't let you get away if you are providing more value than they are.

 

[bigneil]

She sent 20 messages trying to talk me out of flaking (she sent a photo proving she had already braided her hair at my request) but when I put the onus on her to drive here instead, she accepted my reschedule. It's good to make them work for it.

She sent a sparkly heart, called me darling, used the word love, and said she was excited - all the best texting keywords. Maybe canceling is the key?

 

[EyeBRollin]

She sent a sparkly heart, called me darling, used the word love, and said she was excited - all the best texting keywords. Maybe canceling is the key?

No, don't cancel. It ups interest level in the short term but it can hurt your standing in the long term. Men are always supposed to be congruent with their words and actions. We aren't women, so flakiness doesn't fly.

 

[bigneil]

Men should be reliable, yes, but we should not go out of our way. I had a meeting at work and interview. My job comes first.

Check this out - the power of flaking. I won't try this more than once with her.

She confesses her love here - "I love braiding my hair for you".

 

[bigneil]

Pook said to flake.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Pook said to flake.

If you think the upside is worth it. It's a short term interest level boost. Reliability is a foundation of her trust in you. It will help you get a quick bang but if you're into her for the long term why bother?

 

[zekko]

For fvck's sake Neil, from what you say you're a pretty high value guy. What do you need with all this adolescent game playing? You don't need to pretend to have high value when you already have it. That training wheel stuff is for wannabes.

 

[bigneil]

For fvck's sake Neil, from what you say you're a pretty high value guy. What do you need with all this adolescent game playing? You don't need to pretend to have high value when you already have it. That training wheel stuff is for wannabes.

Game playing?

I canceled a second date for a job interview and this was her reaction. A 20 year old HB9 who I've known 2 weeks.

Show me better results with your approach.

Anyhow, you can see they are not all about money. This is exactly how my last girl texted at peak interest level.

M says women have high interest in men who make them INsecure. It happens naturally when you have a life, value and options.

 

[bigneil]

She talked me into meeting for an hour tonight as well as tomorrow.

I felt the exact moment when she stole my heart from the last one (it took 5 days to find her and 14 days of dating her, 19 days total).