Our relationship seemed to be a wee bit weird today..

[j8snx1]

Just a quick question out of a small worry and big curiosity.

when im with the volleyball guys on the home and away games, my girl and two other girls tag along to help out. Today, we sat together and we shared some pretty good kino and conversation, then when we got there, 3-5 of the guys on the team flirt and chitchat with her.

I thought I'd be alright if they talked you know? Her friends were my friends...but at times she was with them more than she is with me . However, somehow I don't feel worried; I know that she's into me more than my friends and she shows it through her actions when she's with me. On the other hand, it feels a little worrying that she's having a lot more fun with other dudes than she's been having with me lately. I've noticed I haven't been making her laugh as much as my friends have been. Regardless, I know it's something I shouldn't be jealous or insecure about...

Whether it's due to my lack of proper sleep lately or because we lost that game today I'm not sure, but I felt things were sort of wrong between me and her towards the end of the day. I just don't feel that funny to her anymore! I AM a guy with a good sense of humor and a romantic when it comes to me and my girl but I felt like today was a bit bizarre for me to behave outside of my normal self.

I'm reviewing the DJ BIble as we speak, but I could really use the support from you DJ's!

-WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?
-AM I OVERANALYZING THINGS THAT I SHOULD NOT EVEN WORRY ABOUT?:nervous:
-HOW SHOULD I DEAL WITH THIS SITUATION? SHOULD I FLIRT WITH THE OTHER 2 GIRLS OR FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO FOR FUN WITH MY OTHER FRIENDS or something?
Please analyze my little situation. It would help me greatly! Thanks.

 

[j8snx1]

aww cmon now, anybody? any DJ's willing to help?

 

[Fender]

Nobody fear, Fender is here!

Anyways, all retardedness aside...I know EXACTLY how you feel j8snx1. I was experiencing the same "problem" recently with my girlfriend. Feeling like she was losing interest in me cuz everyone else was funnier, etc.

I blame my problem on the seduction community.

With sosuave and David D. and all that other seductioners telling us to be "funny" and "entertaining," its easy to get caught up in a web of cr@p. We have built up layers of false beliefs such as

"The funniest guy gets the girl."

or

"ALWAYS be interesting...100% percent of the time."

Absolute BOLLOCKS! Chances are, your GF loves you not because your 'funny' (although that certainly plays a role- but a small one). You're GF loves you becuase...you're YOU! I'm just guessing here, but you're probably overemphasizing "humor" too much as part of your overall game.

This is one of the problems with being around here too much. We read all this sh*t about c&f, charisma, being a challenge, negs, push-pull, etc.

DO WE REALLY NEED ALL THAT? It's a belief around here that we must have uber, James Bond+ Don Juan+ Brad Pitt personalities to get a girl. In truth, most girls will hookup with you as long as you have a functional penis.

Read Pook's "perfect is boring" post for more on this.

G'luck j8snx1!!! Remeber why you're in a relationship in the first place- to have fun! Not to worry about some small issues.

 

[elmo]

rule #1...if you think you are funny you probably are not. the only funny people i know are people who take themselves way too seriously. guys who think they are funny are usually either immature, stupid acting, or would be better off listening rather than talking all the time.

rule #2...17 year old males are not romantic. trust me, few 17 year old girls see their ideal man being a 17 year old boy. lack of romance and maturity are the main reasons. 17 year old girls should be MUCH more mature than 17 year old boys.

conclusion -- just relax.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

his rules sucked but his conclusion was good.

 

[j8snx1]

Yeah, I have to agree with microphone; elmo's rules weren't really RULES; they were just FACTS that do not entirely apply to me.

responses to elmo's RULES:

rule #1) I consider myself as a guy with a decent sense of humor compared to my old boring self and the other guys I know who use immaturity to make others laugh. I seldomly am immature, but when I am, I'm not as stupid as the guys who put their image on the line just to sound funny.

rule #2) True, a 17 year old guy isn't necessarily ROMANTIC, but I at least know when and how when the time comes. :box:


thanks a bunch guys. your feedbacks helped a lot. i faced my girl today as if nothing happened, and when i cared less whether the other dudes were flirting with her or not it didn't matter to me, ecause in the end she's still mine

 

[shydude]

U should do the same dude.. U have to talk ti her friends and ignore her.. That way she will be jelious.. Well its all common sense that everyone says.

 

[applaya]

my advice would be to relax and not be insecure. Don't let her see that your upset. 17 year old girls fall in and out of love. I agree a lot with what somone posted before about trying to be the "pimp" or "player" all the time. I think a lot of these people come off as phonies, and girls can see it.

Is this a regualr ocourace with your girl? Maybe you just took it the wrong way?

If this is a regular occourance, withdraw from her a little. Don't call her, wait till she calls you. Don't take her out so much. Let her know her actions arn't acceptable maybe tell her you don't like it when she flirts with other guys in front of you. But don't sound week or needy. If she respects you she will stop, if not . . . NEXT

 

[j8snx1]

To be honest, I really am not too worried about the fact that she does that, simply because I'm flirty with the other female friends, whether my girl is nearby or not. (just my nature) But yes, I'll definitely do something more "fun" when she talks with other guys around me.

As for your advice applaya, if I were to tell her that I didn't like her flirting with other guys, won't that give off the notion that I am insecure about her talking with other guys? That would really ruin things between me and her, so I think I'll pass on your idea of confronting her about it. HOWEVER, if it begins to get out of hand, such as her being flaky with dates, not kissing/hugging me anymore, etc. THEN I'll confront her. Otherwise, it's allllll good

 

[applaya]

As for your advice applaya, if I were to tell her that I didn't like her flirting with other guys, won't that give off the notion that I am insecure about her talking with other guys?

no. it depends on how you say it. theres a difference between talking to other guys and flirting with them. if you flirt with other girls in front of her than don't even bother saying anything it would just be hypocritical. and if it doesn't bother you than don't say anything. I think it's rude for a girlfriend to be blatentley flirting with guys right in front of him.

remember your dealing with a person. a woman is a person and there are different situations that always come up. there is no textbook answer for each and evrey situation. just have the right attitude. if she is your girlfriend respect her and treat her right. and if she doesn't do the same to you (not one messup but on a consistant basis) don't be afraid to leave her.

 

[j8snx1]

Of course bro; I'm not afraid to bring it up if necessary. If I do point out that fact when I'm talking to her, I'll be sure to mention that I'll cut down on my flirting as well. Other than that, it's not bothering me to the point where it's driving me insane; I can always "return the favor" to her and flirt with the other girl(s). It usually grabs her attention and let's her see reality to a certain degree.

I do respect and care for her; I'm sure she does too. However, when I start seeing her flirting to the extreme, like touching the guys excessively, holding hands, or some other kinds of red flags...i'll confront her. Otherwise, like I said, it's nothing too excessive; laughing and talking isn't HORRIBLE, I do it with others anyway.