Online Personals (Merged threads)

[corruptrelic]

If you want to check out some free dating services check out: www.datingclub.com www.matchdoctor.com www.singlesofpalmbeach.com www.blinddatetv.com

As flyguy said though the male to female ratio is redicilous, especially on the free sites where even the unattractive girls get tons of replies - I knew a 7 who said she got about 30 replies in the first 2 days she was on matchdoctor and she got frustrated and just cancelled her account.
If you try something like yahoo personals or the next best one, www.match.com , you have to pay and the competition isn't as bad, since most people dont' want to pay to email people.
When I joined yahoo personals I ended up getting 3 months for the price of 1 - signed up, cancelled the next day so they woudn't rebill me, it asked if I wanted an extra free month, said yes, had 2 months now, and at the end of the 2nd month I went to cancel again and it gave me another free month..
In those 3 months I probably emailed about 300 different girls - from as low as 5's to as high as 10's, even some without pictures. After all if you are going to pay $20/$25 you mine as well get your money's worth.. out of the 300 or so girls I emailed, about 40 of them replied. Out of those 40, I ended up meeting 10 in the real world. The biggest problem about them is they seem to be too scared to meet you "lets get to know eachother better online first" "lets be friends first",etc.. they shoudn't be putting up personal dating ads if they are too scared to meet anyone.

The biggest advantage of online personals is you get to put up your picture - talk about yourself a little and see who are you meeting. If they reply, they like your picture and you know they are single, unlike in person you risk rejection but once you learn to not care if you are rejected, lol I'm just pretty much repeating everything flyguy said..
So for $20 I'd definitely sign up with yahoo personals especially if you get 3 months worth, just be sure to email all girls, not just put your hopes into a few of them.. even without pictures, what's the worst that can happen, you meet them at a coffee shop, spend maybe $1.00 - find out they're 300 pounds and bald, so move on to the next one.. just think of each one as practice and if you are new/shy about approaching girls in person, online dating is a great way to start and build up confidence for the real world. If you hear "i need to get to know you better online" just tell her you can't feel chemistry over the internet, people lie, etc.. and the only way to get to know someone is in the real world. I lost my chances with 3 or 4 "9.5"'s because I tried to get them to meet me too soon and woudn't talk to them in aol instant messenger.
Also when you post your profile don't be afraid to sound like a "nice guy" because online, it definitely sounds attractive to them. Using words like "romantic" "honest" (especially) caring, trustworthy, affectionate, etc.. definitely work. In person you don't need to be a nice guy because then you lose, but online, you want them to think you are a nice guy, someone they can feel comfortable meeting, someone who is honest, affectionate, etc.. if that didn't work then I don't think I'd be having 9's email me saying they loved my profile and how it's so hard to find nice romantic honest guys..

 

[TinyDancer]

Oooh buddy don't waste your time. A good portion of those people on that site will never meet you. And a lot are just doing it to see what response they get. I'm fourteen and my friends and I signed up for matchmaker.com so we could make fun of AFC's (we're mean I know, sorry). If you dont take everyone's advice and sign up, check out http://www.geocities.com/guccichick33/ourfunnycharacters.html so that you know what NOT to say!

 

[Cuffer]

Lol, thats hilarious... cold... but hilarious.

 

[FlyGuy]

corruptrelic :

Sounds like you put a lot more effort into the online dating than I did. I probably sent out a total of 40 emails when I tried it, and got about 5 dates out of it. None of them worked out for various reasons.

I have to say also, even if playing the nice guy role online works out I would think it'd just be trouble later on. If a girl doesn't next you for being an AFC up front, she'll get frustrated in the relationship and next you later.

There was an article on this site somewhere about online dating and some strategies that could help...

 

[FlyGuy]

Originally posted by TinyDancer:
Oooh buddy don't waste your time. A good portion of those people on that site will never meet you. And a lot are just doing it to see what response they get. I'm fourteen and my friends and I signed up for matchmaker.com so we could make fun of AFC's (we're mean I know, sorry). If you dont take everyone's advice and sign up, check out http://www.geocities.com/guccichick33/ourfunnycharacters.html so that you know what NOT to say!

... and yet ANOTHER reason to stick to the real world. Online dating is kinda like a flashier version of personals. The bad thing about online dating vs personals though, is that the potential for getting false info in an add are greatly increased.

ANYWAY, again just stick to the real world.

 

[awfernan]

What's the consensus on online personals/pimping?

Based on what I've read, online personsals seem to be a good method of getting some exhibition-game, ungraded practice and a little much-needed sumpin' sumpin' for those in a slump, but are only a short-term fix and not a long-term solution.

After all, we all need to develop "live" approach skills. Nevertheless, there might be some easier-than-average lays, even if the success rate is pretty low.

Do people agree? Any thoughts are appreciated.

 

[corruptrelic]

Most people here seem to disagree with online dating but they already have experience in the real world.
You have to start somewhere, and online is a great place to start. Your right on target with what you said. Putting up a personal ad gives you the opportunity to let the women see you before they meet you - and you know they are single. So when you do meet (approach) them in the real world, you already know they're single, and they already like your physical apperance.

You can gain a lot of confidence and experience with online dating. Every girl you meet is just practice (dont tell her that though) and before you know it, you'll have enough experience to approach girls in every day life.
It took me about 10 months of online dating before I finally made the switch to in person and got my second number about a week ago.

If you want to try online dating, check out the free sites first: www.datingclub.com www.matchdoctor.com www.blinddatetv.com

The male to female ratio is about 99999999 to 1 so the competion sucks, so you need a good profile that gets attention. (Lie if you have to.) Words like "honest" and "romantic" really catch attention. My last profile had about 30 responses in a month, and I never emailed anyone.
Email every girl in your area, even if they don't have pictures. Remember they are just practice, so even if they don't look so great, it doesn't matter since you dont have to see them again anyway.
From the replies you do get set up the date ASAP forget about talking online and on the phone, she'll think of you as just an email/phone buddy. If the girl has a picture and looks nasty - tell her she's beautiful. She'll fall for you online. Set the date, use her as target practice, and move on to the next (better looking) girl.
Keep repeating this process, meeting them online at coffee shops so you save your money, never spending more than $5.00 per date.

If you have a hard time with the free services (probably will because of the redicilous competion) you could try pay services such as www.match.com www.yahoo.com personals or www.kiss.com .. since you are paying $20 a month - email EVERY girl, you may email 300 and only get 50 replies. If you put all your hopes into 10-20 girls, maybe only 1-5 will reply, and there's no guarentee they'll work out, let alone even meet you.

From my experience paying $20 for a month's access is WELL worth it, especially if you are just starting out and need to build confidence and gain experience. On yahoo personals I ended up getting 3 months access for the price of 1 ("please dont go, one more month for free?" - sure!) and I've met 10+ girls so far from it. Most of them said I play "mind games" or talk about being honest and not taking advantage of people, but all I need to do is look at myself lol. (Like I said, they are just target practice! Your online profile should be creating a romantic feeling for them - describing yourself as romantic, honest, caring, and you are looking for something meaningful, long-term, etc. it gets a lot more attention even if it's not true.)

For the short-term and long-term, online personals can help you in any case. Even if you're looking for a long-term relationship, the advantage of finding it online is that you can look up girls who are also looking for the long-term, see what they look like, and them meet them in person without worrying about approaching strangers. Then show your romantic interest and get her thinking about you.
Regardless, for me at least, online dating has proved to be a very effective way to meet new girls and it's by far more than just a "short-term fix" - I meet girls online AND in person, when in the beginning it was just online. If I didn't start online, I'd probably still be at home wishing I could meet people but was too afraid to approach anyone in person.
That's all changed now, thanks to the internet.

 

[Bungo Pony]

I disagree. The best way to start approaching girls is to grab your ba11s and do it. Get over your fear of rejection first, get out there and try different things, and get some real-life experience first before you look into online dating.

I look at online dating as just another way to meet women. I don't rely on it. After you've been exposed to real-life situations, online dating becomes extremely easy. I also don't agree with paying to meet women. I don't have to pay in real life, why should I pay online?

------------------
"I'm running down the road tryin' to loosen my load
I've got seven women on my mind,
Four that wanna own me, Two that wanna stone me,
One says she's a friend of mine" - Eagles

 

[krd]

I've been a member of several on-line personal dating services and in my experience, they're not really that much different from meeting women in real-life situations in terms of what kind of results you get. Your odds of anything materializing are probably just as slim. The main difference is, the women on-line are single and looking for the same thing you are (in most cases). The one's that do take the time to respond are naturally more likely to give you a chance. This makes it much easier to practice your DJ skills on them. However, their interest may peter out more quickly, because they haven't made the connection with you that one might from actually meeting you in person.

The one's you meet in real-life are more likely to not be interested in meeting someone, or are already taken. There's also more of a risk of you making a lousy first impression. However, if you are nervous around girls, just approaching and talking to them in person is a valuable experience. Either way is good practice. I say use all the tools you have available to you. If you have any kind of luck with either of these methods, good for you. Just don't expect too much.

[This message has been edited by krd (edited 10-25-2002).]

 

[corruptrelic]

I think telling a guy with no real world experience to just "go and approach girls" is a lot easier said than done. I dont know why everyone is so anti-online .. in fact I'm going to get laid this coming wednesday from a 7 I met online two weeks ago. Email her - setup the date - kino and kiss close - she emails me accusing me of playing games, where am I,etc.. - email her back with some romantic stuff and suggest we get more intimate - she responds by asking to come to her house next wednesday at 12am and she'd have a "suprise" for me..
What has this all done to my confidence? Took it sky high just like I'll be next week!

I agree nobody should rely on the internet to meet people.. but people have to start somewhere, and just walking up to a girl you dont even know (when you've never done it before) can be a tough task.
I guess we all have different opinions and I'm in the minority but in any case from my own experience, starting out online, setting the date asap, and approaching them in person after they already know what I looked like.. gave me the experience I needed to start making real-life approaches, and things coudn't get any easier for me now.

 

[Pro]

Internet dating is bullsh1t in my eyes. Get some flesh you can feel immediately.

------------------
Skill is often no more than CONFIDENCE.

"If you do something, you'll reap rewards."

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face" -Eleanor Roosevelt

 

[Pro]

Originally posted by Bungo Pony:
I disagree. The best way to start approaching girls is to grab your ba11s and do it. Get over your fear of rejection first, get out there and try different things, and get some real-life experience first before you look into online dating.

I look at online dating as just another way to meet women. I don't rely on it. After you've been exposed to real-life situations, online dating becomes extremely easy. I also don't agree with paying to meet women. I don't have to pay in real life, why should I pay online?

And now another post in the same thread!

I agree 100%. Grab your mutherfvkin balls and do it!!!! Don't ***** out. Would it be better you did nothing and never have know. NO!!!!!!!! Let me tell you first hand that when I do something I reap rewards. Whether it's a failure and I learn something. (I always at least learn something). Or I am taggin the hizz0 every night. It's all the same. GET THIS!@

------------------
Skill is often no more than CONFIDENCE.

"If you do something, you'll reap rewards."

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face" -Eleanor Roosevelt

 

[Disco]

How To Write On Line Personals

Do you guys have any info on how to write good personals for sites like Match.com? Any tips here?

 

[Bungo Pony]

The best way to do it, is show your humor - BIG TIME! Let any women who read your profile know right off the bat that your a lot of fun. Go read other guys' profiles, and you'll see how NOT to write them.

You'll see a lot of "I like romantic candlelit dinners, a walk in the evening on the shore of the beach, cuddling up by the fvcking fireplace, etc etc. Don't mention any of that 5hit. Don't mention too much about yourself either. If you show your sense of humor, she won't give a flying fvck if you're divorced 3 times with 14 kids.

------------------
"I'm running down the road tryin' to loosen my load
I've got seven women on my mind,
Four that wanna own me, Two that wanna stone me,
One says she's a friend of mine" - Eagles

 

[Mr.Bates]

Absolutely right. Go through some of them and see that personals are full of ads by AFC men "I like a woman who will treat me like crap while I worship her...". Personally, I make it as funny as possible and actually try to play up being a psycho...i.e. stuff like "my hobbies include sniffing solvents and doing what the voices in my head tell me to do." If you keep it weird/funny you'll do better; but keep in mind that even in a perfect world your responses will be low and the crop of women out there using the personals is not the best.

 

[Ivan Drago]

Originally posted by Disco:
Do you guys have any info on how to write good personals for sites like Match.com? Any tips here?

I actually went through personal ads of men in order to improve mine. I found the funniest ads and then used them for inspiration and as reference. And I got an estimate on the competition.

If you wanted to write your own book, wouldn't you read a few of other writers' first? So just read a few personal ads before writing your own, don't worry - it won't make you gay

 

[Drex]

Seeking advice for online personals...how to create a profile that ATTRACTS

Ok I'm gonna give this online personals stuff a shot and I do NOT want to have a profile like every other wuss-bag out there. I need some advice (dont just say be ****y and funny I know that already). Some examples of successful profiles/lines would be great!!

Here are some questions that need to be filled out in my profile that I could use some pointers for (how to be ****y/funny).

-"Describe the person you may be interested in meeting." (honestly I am not picky, she's gotta be real good looking and not a weirdo those are my guidelines)

-"Describe an ideal relationship." (again, I am not picky, I am looking for anything from casual sex to a long term thing!)

-"What types of habits of others really irritate you?" (this one sounds like it has a TON of potential for making up some C&F lines but I dunno what to put)

Help a paddowan out!

Thanks.

 

[Drex]

In addition to my above post I'd also love to know the best way to initiate emailing to a woman that I have looked up. I'm sure it is best to keep my first email very short?

 

[Flyguy3663]

Ya know I have never been very successful with those "online hookups". I met my current GF of 5 months online but that was through another girl I knew in real life. And she had seen me before so she knew what I looked like and everything.

All I can really say is DON'T be like the typical guy who emails them with some BS line. If they are hott and they know it they are gonna be used to getting the "Hey baby, wanna fvck?" type line. Be more original and genuine. Like not sappy or "AFC" but more like KIND, CONFIDENT, and KNOW EXACTLY what you are looking for. If she's your type then say hi and ask her to check you out and if she likes what she sees to write you back. It's really not complicated. If shes attracted to you she WILL write back. If not she doesn't. Not so complicated.

As far as the profile I would seriously recommend keeping it short and to the point. Don't babble on about this and that and about how "nice" of a guy you are. If you really are nice she will see when she talks to you. Oh and don't DJ her online cuz it's just not gonna work. Most quality women can sniff out DJ games from a LONG way away. I'm just saying be cool and confident but don't appear desperate or as a JERK.

Peace and Good luck with that

 

[Bungo Pony]

I'm not going to post my profile, since it's my own original creation, however I'll post a response I just recieved yesterday to give you an idea of what's in my profile:

Hey! Here`s an ice-breaker for you! I don`t talk in my sleep, but I do sometimes, let`s be politically correct, flatulate just before falling asleep! I know you probably won`t write back now, but at least I probably made you smile, so what harm came out of it?



------------------
"I'm running down the road tryin' to loosen my load
I've got seven women on my mind,
Four that wanna own me, Two that wanna stone me,
One says she's a friend of mine" - Eagles