Online Dating Questions

[Road Warrior]

I have been experimenting around on a couple of online dating websites as part of my AFC recovery. On one of the sites, I have rewritten my profile using tips that I have learned on here and other areas. The amount of looks I get and quality of the lookers has gone way up. I know I still have some tweaking to do on it because I would like to get my response rate and quality of resopnders higher, but it is still awsome to see some results! My plan is that when I get a step down online where I consistantly get positve results, I will then also test it in the field. My end goal is not to just get laid, but to pull in quality women on a consistant basis.
The other website that I am on occasionally has meet and greet parties that I occasionally attend. Earlier on these parties had some pretty good crowds, but as of lately, the ratio is about 1-2HB's, 5 - 10 doables, about 25 lo end cougars and about 50 guys. I am just about done with these unless it turns around quickly!
My question comes in where I have met a lady (in the doable, but no big loss) category. We exchange usernames and chat, but then when I try to get a phone number, she replies back asking for my number first. Hesitantly, I reply back with my number, she replies back saying she will call. Well, that was what I had thought. I still have not heard anything, but like I said, no big loss. Another lady that I had met at several of the parties suddenly sends me a message about a month ago. We chat a little, but it goes nowhere. Once again no big loss, move on. Well, I get another message from her last week. We chat a little, then she replies she would like to go on a poker run on the bike. I reply back, that I will check when one is going on and I would call if I had her number. She replies back that it would be better if she had my number. My gut feeling tells me not to even reply back, But could I get some opinions? Also, as I have not yet been getting the results I would like when I send out the first emails online. I am wondering if anyone has any tips for good opening emails?

 

[sodbuster]

ALL the women on those sites have HIGH opinions of themselves. They think that the reason they don't have the man they "deserve" is because they haven't found him yet. That if they keep looking,he'll show up. They don't realize that they don't deserve the man they think they do. THEY aren't high quality,so they don't deserve high quality. Both of these women think they can do better,they just haven't vocalized it.

IF I got lucky and caught Jennifer Aniston drunk and horney and took her home-I'd realize I was lucky. When a woman geets lucky and takes Brad Pitt home,she thinks that is the level of man she "deserves"

 

[Road Warrior]

ALL the women on those sites have HIGH opinions of themselves. They think that the reason they don't have the man they "deserve" is because they haven't found him yet. That if they keep looking,he'll show up. They don't realize that they don't deserve the man they think they do. THEY aren't high quality,so they don't deserve high quality. Both of these women think they can do better,they just haven't vocalized it.

IF I got lucky and caught Jennifer Aniston drunk and horney and took her home-I'd realize I was lucky. When a woman geets lucky and takes Brad Pitt home,she thinks that is the level of man she "deserves"

Thanks for the insight. That is a good way to put it. It really shed a light on the whole thing. I am not going to cave in and reply. I do not know if its the area where I am from or the feminist movement, but I have seemed to notice a pattern where the women will be all friendly, drop little hints where they would like to get together, but when one goes to take the lead and goes for the digits to set it all up, it is like all of a sudden they cop an instant attitude. I have not yet pinpointed it yet, but I do think the area has a lot to do with it. There is such a large amout of skanks around here that it over inflates all the others. It is common to see HB 2-3's strutting around like they are 7-8's.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Getting numbers off those sites is pretty easy. First emails are pretty easy too. I didn't even read the profiles when I was on Plenty of Fish. Too much time to waste 'crafting' a response to their nonsense, especially when you don't know how old the pictures are or how they are in person. I'd take the time to read about them AFTER I got a reply. Then I'd respond based on their profile. Or made lighthearted small talk with some humor.

First emails I'd send were:

Title: Your profile reminds me of my granny's cookies!

Body: Your profile reminds me of my grannies cookies! Sadly she's passed away but when she was alive she'd bake these fantastic 'looking' cookies..as she'd gotten older her sight went and she mistook a package of salt for sugar! So what I'm getting at is your profile and pictures may look pleasing to the eye but I could end up with one of my dearly departed Granny's cookies! Sweet like sugar, or bitter like salt, I don't know about you woman! =OP

Or

Title: Does your boyfriend know you have a "Plenty of Fish" account?

Body: I'm sure the poor guy's at home crying his eyes out over you and you're on P.O.F looking to upgrade. Tsk. Tsk. You aren't fooling anyone you lil cutie you!

It's AMAZING the silly first emails these women reply to!

Then AFTER I get a response. I read their profile and respond.

As for 'asking' for their number. I don't ask. I tell them to give it to me after a few exchanges.

Like: "Let's stop the nonsense and give me your number woman! Yes, I just told you to give me your number. Now DEAL with it! lol "

Almost all but one gave me their numbers.

I used to have a bunch of wacky email intros and they'd usually respond. You just have to spam a bunch of attractive ones and most will reply. Also if your pics look good and have a good, positive upbeat profile.

 

[Colossus]

ALL the women on those sites have HIGH opinions of themselves. They think that the reason they don't have the man they "deserve" is because they haven't found him yet. That if they keep looking,he'll show up. They don't realize that they don't deserve the man they think they do. THEY aren't high quality,so they don't deserve high quality.

It's true. Women online will flake for any number of reasons, and despite whatever actual insecurities they have, they tend to come off like they are God's gift to men. This is especially true of the 22-28 crowd.

You have to be careful with messages because type is easily misconstrued. You might think you were being C&F, but to the reader you just might come off like a d0uchebag. Not saying you are...but it's just an email, not real game. I've had a bunch of email exchanges that were going great, then they just flaked. Same with dates too, you'll set something up for next week then never hear from them again. Dont read into it. As long as you arent being over-eager or saying anything creepy, it's all them. Who knows and who cares.

Thats why it's always better to meet women in person.

 

[Drum&Bass]

I know I still have some tweaking to do on it because I would like to get my response rate and quality of resopnders higher, but it is still awsome to see some results! My plan is that when I get a step down online where I consistantly get positve results, I will then also test it in the field. My end goal is not to just get laid, but to pull in quality women on a consistant basis.

awesome, online dating is a perfect tool for developing social skills !!!! sometimes you'll even bump into a few gems.

i would actually learn 2 ways to communicate.

- learn how to build friendships

- learn a system consisting of words and actions to get laid.

in my experience i use the same lines, number close and meet up protocol over and over again and i have a damn near perfect success rate every time (hook ups / networking). find the pitch that works for you and it will be your golden system that you can re-use and modify. (just like sales)

also..make sure your hitting the gym and becoming muscular. Good looks give you a tremendous advantage.

 

[jophil28]

We chat a little, then she replies she would like to go on a poker run on the bike. I reply back, that I will check when one is going on and I would call if I had her number. She replies back that it would be better if she had my number.

"..better if she had my number. " This is the attitude of a woman who either has low interest in you (at this stage) or who has lots of other options ( or BELIEVES that she does). Either way, she believes that she holds the power,

Lets go back to one of our core beliefs for a moment-

*A woman who is interested in you will make it easy for you to get to know her, and will make herself available to spend time with you.*

In the OP's situation, the woman is doing the opposite - she is creating an obstacle. Why ? Because she believes that a date with her is the ultimate payoff for the lucky 'applicant'. And she thinks that way because she is also emailing, back and forth, with several other guys at the same time as she is chatting to the OP.
She has options and she is playing accordingly.

I wager that her 'poker run' suggestion was also made to several other guys on her email 'list', and she insisted that they also give up their number. That merely allows her to make the final decision while the guys wait around to be blessed with her approval.

No wonder women love online dating.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Also to the O.P. when they offer resistance to giving out their phone number try breaking their chops by doing what I mention below.

When they resist. Wait a couple of days to respond (with the below statement(s)) even if they can see you've read their response. (If they respond within those two days or so read but don't reply till a little while after.)

Ex: "Oh, so you're not going to give me your phone number, eh? I see 'Poker Run'! (or whatever she likes to do use as a nickname)You're obviously an independent woman and can make your own decisions so I'll give you two points for that. Bravo and Kudo's to you! But....I'm deducting FIVE points for not following my orders! You're fresh! I like that!

Or: "Oh, I see now. You must've 'forgot' to pay your phonebill 'Poker Run'..It's okay, nothing to be embarrassed about. The economy is a bit shaky now, so I'll let you slide...ONCE!" =OP

Those two break their chops in a humorous way, while letting them know you aren't playing their carrot dangling game.

 

[Road Warrior]

Thank you all for the advice! Those openers are the mindset I was looking for but just could not pinpoint. I would always be reading the profiles, then trying to tailor something to it. After losing count on how many times I have read "I've been to Italy and Belize and am just as comfortable in a T shirt and jeans as in a black skirt and heels", only to get few replies, its like there has to be a better way. The few replies were from profiles that would have something in them that one could "run with". The serious sounding ones were impossible. Anyway, what are some opinions on writing sexual tones into profiles? I am not talking "lets f**k", but something in a subtle way that would be more appealing to the ladies. I have thought about this for a while but do not want to attract the wrong kind of chicks (desperate low HB's). As far as Ms. poker run goes, if she was a little higher up the HB scale, I would reply back, but for now, I'll be working on improving. Thanks again for all of the insight, it will help me get closer to my goal!

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Thank you all for the advice! Those openers are the mindset I was looking for but just could not pinpoint. I would always be reading the profiles, then trying to tailor something to it. After losing count on how many times I have read "I've been to Italy and Belize and am just as comfortable in a T shirt and jeans as in a black skirt and heels", only to get few replies, its like there has to be a better way. The few replies were from profiles that would have something in them that one could "run with". The serious sounding ones were impossible. Anyway, what are some opinions on writing sexual tones into profiles? I am not talking "lets f**k", but something in a subtle way that would be more appealing to the ladies. I have thought about this for a while but do not want to attract the wrong kind of chicks (desperate low HB's). As far as Ms. poker run goes, if she was a little higher up the HB scale, I would reply back, but for now, I'll be working on improving. Thanks again for all of the insight, it will help me get closer to my goal!

The more ridiculous your response, the more they reply. It's like they know you're on to the B.S and don't give a sh!t. You have to be that way on there. Even if they blow you out or whatever, believe me, you will be guaranteed to see the SAME faces if you leave the site and come back or search 6 or more months later same old "All Stars" with doctorates who "forgot" to take their profile down, still 'searching'. You need thick skin and an attitude and expectation of getting nothing to succeed at online "dating".

DO NOT be afraid to spam different angles of silly crap to a BUNCH of different "ladies". The replies you think you "shouldn't" send are the ones you SHOULD. You'll amaze yourself. And you'll possibly break the ice with one or a few cool ones....and nut jobs.

Just don't get back into that "nice guy" profile "Agreer" with them. Keep up with the pet names. Like Ok Ms. Rock climber, etc. They love it. You've gotta know when to put the pedal to the metal and pump the brakes a bit. Keep that wise ass sexual tension without going overboard or coming off as desperate (it's online anyway so I guess it could be classified as desperate. lmao.)

 

[jophil28]

Anyway, what are some opinions on writing sexual tones into profiles?

Bad idea, very bad.

Firstly, most women assume that "all men just want sex" so your sounding "sexual " is just going to feed what they already believe.

Secondly, "talking dirty" to strangers is going to come off as sleazy - you will be regarded as a creepy poonhound.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Bad idea, very bad.

Firstly, most women assume that "all men just want sex" so your sounding "sexual " is just going to feed what they already believe.

Secondly, "talking dirty" to strangers is going to come off as sleazy - you will be regarded as a creepy poonhound.

What jophil said. Don't start with that or they may talk to you if they think you're "funny" but not agree to meet etc.

If you don't care throw in subtle hints that they are bad only ONCE or at MOST TWICE. Like : You are BAD woman! or You are sooo FRESH toots! (It'll trigger their subconcious but don't push it.) Even if they try to push the envelope it may be a test and all you'll end up with is cyber sex talk.

Play dumb." I don't even KNOW you! You're KrAzY girl!" or "I'm a nice guy! Nice guys don't even THINK of that! Don't YOU want a nice guy? I KNOW that's every womans fantasy! LOL" And CHANGE TOPICS. You want to get REAL face to face time.

Again ride your brakes.

I'm telling you. You will friggin be AMAZED. If you play it right.

Just remember. Don't get attached, or put high hopes in online stuff. And don't be outcome dependant. You get the number. Fine. You don't. Fine. Learn and keep spamming..

 

[Andy_Dufresne]

I reply back, that I will check when one is going on and I would call if I had her number. She replies back that it would be better if she had my number. My gut feeling tells me not to even reply back, But could I get some opinions? Also, as I have not yet been getting the results I would like when I send out the first emails online. I am wondering if anyone has any tips for good opening emails?

Going back to the OP.....Warrior, you should have went with your gut. Years of experience has taught me that no phone number = no interest. A woman asking you for your number is just a sh^t test. If you give her your number she holds all the power.

Based on your posts here, I am assuming that your starter emails are wayyyy too long. Even hoggas can go online and get 5 to 10 emails a day, you need to keep it short and bold. You should ask for her number no later than the third email. If she refuses or sh^t tests, she isn't interested.